Army Program Pairs Female Soldiers with Male Chaperones

The Department of Defense made a historic change to military policy today. For the first time ever, women will be allowed to serve in combat provided they are supervised by a male chaperone. The Onion News Network's John Harris filed this story from Qandahar. Well although about 20% of the US soldiers are female, women have never been allowed to serve in ground combat units until today. This is the 21st century and women supervised by men are equal to men in every way. The chaperone can be any man really, as long as he's there to provide a shoulder for the woman to cry on after she's mortared an enemy position or taken out an insurgent. And the female soldiers themselves are applauding the new program. Roger's not a bad guy, per se. I mean he finally stopped calling me "private sweetheart" so that's good. It's kind of like having a dog. - Alicia's doing a super job. Lot's of times she really doesn't even need me here. Hey Alicia, how about a bruski? The military is currently seeking men for the Chaperone Project. No experience is necessary and you will split the female soldier's salary with her. For these women in the military and their male chaperones, it's the end of a long march towards equality. You go girls! From Qandahar, I'm John Harris.