Robert orben

With my luck, if I ever invested in General Motors, they'd bust it to Corporal!

Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes don't know which way is down.

Do you ever get the feeling that the only reason we have elections is to find out if the polls were right?

What bothers me about TV is that it tends to take our minds off our minds.

I remember when humor was gentle pokes. I used to call it 'arm around the shoulder' humor. Now they go for the jugular and they take no prisoners. It's mean, mean stuff.

The chance to be seen as a warm, witty guy is too good an opportunity for a politician to miss.

More than ever before, Americans are suffering from back problems: back taxes, back rent, back auto payments.

Planned obsolescence is not really a new concept. God used it with people.

Inflation is the crabgrass in your savings.

Every speaker has a mouth; An arrangement rather neat. Sometimes it's filled with wisdom. Sometimes it's filled with feet.