Robert orben

In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative; fight, flee - or laugh.

Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.

If you can laugh together, you can work together.

Humor starts like a wildfire, but then continues on, smoldering, smoldering for years.

Happiness is a very small desk and a very big wastebasket.

There are days when it takes all you've got just to keep up with the losers.

There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all.

Quit worrying about your health. It will go away.

Don't think of it as failure. Think of it as time-released success.

Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.