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I'm headed
this way.
Oh.
Later.
So what did
we decide?
About what?
About tonight?
Oh, uh...
Look, I'll probably get,
you know, hung up with the guys.
Maybe, you know...
Why don't we just
meet at the party?
Okay.
Wouldn't want you
waitin' around all night
for me anyway.
All right.
Cool.
See ya later?
Bye.
Bye.
Slater-son.
Hey, man.
How's it goin'?
Fixin' to be
a lot better, man.
What time is your party,
man?
9:30, man.
9:30. Hmm.
Okay, um...
I'll be there, man.
See ya later,
alligator.
Wait, wait!
I gotta cruise by
this afternoon...
on a little business,
if you know what
I'm talkin' about.
That's what you're
talkin' about.
That's what
I'm talkin' about.
Oh, man,
I'm ***' wasted.
Walkin' down the hall
by myself.
Smokin' a "J"
with 50 elves.
Later.
Woodward. Bernstein.
Guess that makes
you Deep Throat.
So, is this a smoked
or liquid lunch?
Hey.
Smoked, right?
Are we gonna
play poker tonight?
Count me out.
Sure.
I'll probably be going
to Pickford's party.
We should do somethin'
like that. Goodwin's off
on the senior trip.
We can play poker
anytime.
Go to a party?
Mike. Cynthia.
Come on.
Don't worry about it.
I don't feel comfortable
at those kinds of things.
Pick us up
at 8:00.
Okay.
It's gonna be all right.
I guess we're going
to the party then.
Okay.
All right.
Oh, Mike. I gotta tell you
about this dream I had.
Oh, yeah?
But, um...
you gotta promise
not to tell anyone.
Yeah, sure.
Say, "I promise."
Oh, Jesus.
I promise
not to tell anyone.
Okay, thank you.
Okay, there I am,
and I'm gettin' it on...
with this perfect
female body.
Uh-huh.
But...
What? What?
I can't say.
Come on, man, you can't
give a buildup like that
and not deliver.
A perfect female body.
It's not a bad start.
But the head of
Abraham Lincoln.
Aaah.
I mean, the hat
and the beard.
Oh, well. Best not
think too deeply
on this one, right?
Best not.
I gotta get some stuff
from Mr. Birchfield.
See ya in
a few minutes.
Right. Sorry.
Gilligan's transistor radio.
That was a good one.
What about that one
where that sexy surfer guy
catches that huge wave?
Do you remember that?
Oh, yeah!
The Mosquitoes.
Do you remember that?
Pink, let's go.
Come on.
They were a
rock group. Ginger and Mary Ann
formed their own group...
I can't go until
Miss Wilk gets here,
so get Benny...
and check me out
on the way back.
All right.
What?
Coach gave me something
to give to you.
They're really doin' this.
Yeah.
He wants 'em all back
by the end of the day.
Can you believe that?
And everybody's signing it?
Just to get him
off our backs.
The coach is just
a big ***' ***.
You sign it, never
think about it again.
Just let it go.
You're gonna make
a big deal outta this,
aren't ya?
You're gettin'
air from there, man.
It's no good.
You see this?
It's gotta be tight.
Put some gum
around the base
to get a good hit.
Slate.
Benny.
I ain't
believin' that *** about
Bonham's one-hour drum solo.
One hour on drums?
You couldn't handle
that *** on strong acid.
We're gonna go
to the bathroom.
Could you let Miss Wilk know?
All right.
This is totally amazing.
"I voluntarily agree
to not indulge
in any alcohol,
"drugs or engage
in any other
illegal activity...
"that may in any way
jeopardize the years
of hard work...
"we as a team have
committed to our goal...
of a championship season
in '76."
What ***.
Guys are actually
signing this crap?
Apparently.
What are they gonna
do next, give you guys
urine tests?
I didn't know
drugs and alcohol were
such a big problem...
that they had to resort
to neo-McCarthyism.
I think they're afraid...
some of us might be
having too good a time.
It's the old age
suppressing youth thing.
Neo-McCarthism.
I like that.
That's good, Tommy.
And there you guys were in class
trying to list all the
Gilligan's Island episodes...
without even
a hint of irony.
What the hell
are you talkin' about?
You weren't
thinking about it, were you?
Gilligan's Island?
It's what's called
a male pornographic fantasy.
Oh my...
Think about it!
You're basically alone
on a deserted island with two
readily available women:
one a seductive
sex goddess type,
the other a healthy
girl-next-door type
with a nice butt.
So guys have it all...
the Madonna and the ***.
Women get nothing.
We get a geek,
an overweight middle-aged guy,
some nerdy scientific type.
I mean...
The professor
is sexy.
Pink! Come on, man.
We're off
to raise some hell.
Look at that!
Let's go kick some ***!
Hey, you guys.
You guys, wait up.
What?
Benny, I have
a favor to ask ya.
What do ya need?
Take it easy
on my brother this summer.
All of you.
Mitch Kramer?
- Yeah, Mitch Kramer.
- Yeah, yeah. I'm gonna
give him a beating...
Ow!
he'll never forget!
Just don't get him more than
the other guys, any of you.
He's kinda little.
You got our word, sis.
Little brother'll be
okay.
Thanks.
See you guys.
Ow!
Benny! These guys,
I don't know.
Oh, you love it.
There's just a little
bit of ***
in all that, right?
Major ***. He's a dead
man. He's ***' dead!
Shotgun!
Check it out. I been waitin'
three long years for this.
Those junior high kids
are dead meat. I promise.
We're gonna beat 'em!
Oh, yeah.
Okay, you freshman ***,
listen up!
It's your lucky day.
Usually you spend
your freshman summer...
getting your *** busted
and running for your
worthless little lives.
But this year, because we
feel so sorry for you,
we're gonna
take it easy on you...
and save us all
a lot of time.
So if you meet here...
right here...
after school today,
you'll only get one lick
from each of us.
But you run
like cowards,
well, it's open season
all summer long, boys.
Oh, yeah,
Mitch Kramer?
Mitchie? Mitchie,
Mitchie, Mitchie!
We're lookin' for you,
pal.
Your ***'ll be purple
before the day is over.
Have a nice afternoon.
You better get
outta town.
Go spend the summer
with your grandparents
or somethin'.
Hey, man.
You are gonna show up
to our game tonight.
I'm pitching.
I kinda have to.
How should we inscribe
your tombstone?
How 'bout "Bent over"?
Yeah, right, ***-ant.
Why aren't they
after anybody else?
They are, man.
Believe me.
I know, man.
Come on, man,
hop on.
Let's go, boy.
***.
Hey, Coach.
So tell me.
Any of you girls gonna be ready
to play football this fall?
Oh, yeah.
I don't know, Coach.
I've been doing so good
in English classes,
I figured I'd
become a writer.
What do you think
about that?
You wouldn't know how to write
your name if it wasn't
stenciled on your locker.
Seriously, everybody.
Don't go getting soft
on me this summer.
You're sitting around
the pool all day,
chasing the *** around.
Break down!
Uh!
Hell, man.
My grandmother's quicker
and tougher than you pansies.
Course she's 6'3", 250
and runs a 4.540.
What's the matter
with you, Floyd?
Quarterbacks don't have to do
what their coaches say?
Dawson, did you give him
that pledge sheet?
Huh?
The pledge sheet.
Did you give it to him?
Yeah, Coach,
it's right here.
If you could get that to us
by the end of the day,
we'd feel a lot better.
You guys see that he does.
All right, Coach.
- Randy Floyd.
- ***.
Before next fall,
you're in need of a serious
attitude adjustment, young man.
You better get
your priorities straight.
And watch out
with that other crowd
you're runnin' with.
Don't think
I haven't noticed. Hey!
I want that piece of paper
on my desk...
before you leave here today,
do you hear me?
Attitude adjustment.
You know what I mean?
Priorities.
Runs with that bad crowd!
Bad people.
Watch yourself.
I've got Coach's
and everybody else's...
attitude adjusted
priorities...
right here.
Yeah, that's good.
Yeah.
Did you know O'Bannion flunked?
What a dumb ***.
Woo! You all ready
to bust some ***?
What's up,
Don, Benny, Melvin?
Good to see ya.
See ya in about
half an hour.
Yeah.
Hey. We gotta take
your truck. I'm low on gas.
We're gonna take
my truck.
Yeah.
Okay? Good.
Yeah.
What are you doing,
picking up trash?
I was waiting for one
of them idiot coaches
to *** me off again.
I think you take
the whole thing
too personally.
You just gotta...
You gotta shake it off.
Don, have you ever thought
about why we play football?
How many times have you
gotten laid strictly because
you're a football player?
I don't know.
A few, probably.
A few?
Don, all I'm sayin' is...
I bet we could do
just as well if we were
in a band or something.
Look, I gotta put in
a final appearance, so...
Wait a minute.
Who you got going
in there? Shh.
Vicky. Come on, skip out.
Let's go get naked right now.
Come on, let's go,
let's go.
Mr. Dawson.
Yeah.
Why don't you take it
somewhere else?
Mr. Floyd, are you gracing us
with your presence today?
Uh, might as well.
You know, Ginny?
I was thinking you and I
could get together
over the summer.
It'll be legal.
I'll keep things quiet.
I'll keep it mums the word.
I promise. I swear to God.
At the party tonight,
I heard there's gonna be
a girl with knockers this big.
***.
Promise.
Two handfuls.
No way.
Hey. Psst! Hey.
Pentico's got
his brother's car.
Let's go. Cool.
Cool, man.
Go talk to him.
I'm not going alone.
Ask him.
Uh, Mr. Payne? Sir?
Every second that you could
let us out early...
would really increase
our chances of survival.
It's like our sergeant
told us before one trip
into the jungle:
Men!
Fifty of you are
leavin' on a mission.
Twenty-five of ya
ain't comin' back.
Okay.
The '68 Democratic Convention
was probably...
the most ***' time
I ever had in my life.
Okay, guys, one more thing.
This summer when you're
being inundated...
with all this
American bicentennial
Fourth of July brouhaha,
don't forget you're
celebrating the fact...
that a bunch of slave-owning,
aristocratic, white males
didn't want to pay their taxes.
Yeah!
Have a good summer.
Over there.
Let's get him.
Jump in, come on.
Go, go, go, go.
Hurry up, Hirschfelder, or
we're gonna leave your ***.
Sorry.
Let's go,
come on!
Back it up.
Oh, ***!
Oh, ***!
Ducks on the pond!
How're you doin', boys?
Ow! Ow!
Wake up, ***.
Wake up. Open, open.
Hey, hey, open!
Okay, open wide.
Open wide.
What do you think?
All right. Let's go.
Hey, you.
Come here.
You.
Who are you?
Uh, nobody.
I mean,
I wasn't
in the truck.
Are you a freshman?
Yeah.
Well, are you in
or are you out?
In.
Let's go.
Oh, God, hurry up!
Come on, hurry up!
We're screwed!
Lose them!
I'm trying, man!
Let's get 'em!
***!
Here they come!
***' turn!
- Oh, ***!
- Right on!
Oh, ***! Here they come!
I think we really
pissed 'em off, man.
Just drop me off at my house.
Are you still with me?
- Yeah, I guess.
- This is my house.
They're slowing down.
You get out and get 'em!
You get out! You get out!
Good luck, man.
Be there tonight.
I'll catch up
with you later. Go, go!
Oh, ***.
Nice try, freshmen.
Tell you what.
For being brave little kids,
I'm only gonna give
each of you five licks.
All right, grab a pole
and let's get going.
I don't think so,
creep.
- Mom!
- Carl, get in the house.
Get in the house!
And you.
Get the hell off my property.
I'm sorry, ma'am. I was
just escorting your fine
young son home from school.
There's some ruffians
about and I...
Oh, and Mitch, Carl,
we'll be seeing
each other again.
Oh, that's it!
I ***' saw that,
you little sack of ***!
You two
are ***' dead!
You hear me?
You're ***' dead!
Excuse me. Thank you.
All right, you little
freshman ***!
Air raid!
That was pathetic!
Let's try it again!
That means get up, you lazy
little ***! Get up!
Air raid!
That was horrible,
you *** girls!
You little freshman ***!
Get up! Up!
Up! Up!
Air raid!
What's fascinating is
the way not only the school,
but the entire community,
seems to be
supporting this
or turn their heads.
They apparently have
permission to use
the parking lot.
No parents seem to mind.
They're selling concessions.
I know.
Well, seniors, we tried.
We gave you all a chance.
But since you
little prick teases
can't follow instructions,
we're just gonna have to try
something else, won't we?
Seniors?
You love us. Smile.
You love us.
Move over!
Suffer, sisters!
Suffer!
Eat it! Open wide!
Open wide!
Mmm-mmm-mmm!
Yes! Love it, girls.
Gorgeous babies.
Welcome to high school, honey.
Propose to Mr. Dawson.
Will you marry me?
Don't know.
What's in it for me?
Anything you want.
Anything.
Anything?
Go like this.
Do you spit or swallow?
Whatever you like.
Whatever I like?
I would definitely marry you.
That's so degrading.
Let's go.
You're an ***.
Yes, I am.
That's terrible, man.
Horrible.
Aha!
I just want you guys to know
I feel for you, man.
I did it when I was a freshman,
and you'll do it
when you're a senior.
Now fry like bacon,
you little freshmen piggies!
Fry! Fry!
Hi.
Hi. Hello, there.
I would like for you
to propose to Tony.
Oh, God.
What?
On your knees.
Will you marry me?
What am I
supposed to say?
I don't know.
What will you
do for me?
Um... anything
you want.
Imagine
the possibilities.
Oh, Jesus.
Seriously,
you can stand up.
What's your name?
Sabrina.
I'm Tony.
Anthony, actually.
Hi.
Sorry.
This is Mike.
Hey.
We were just discussing
the utter stupidity
of these initiation rituals,
and we were wondering
why someone like you...
would subject yourself
to the losing end
of it all?
What are we having,
social hour over here?
I'm supposed to be
being a ***.
Back to the pit.
All right.
It's almost over.
Am I mistaken, or was there
a little unspoken thing
going on there...
with that young ***,
you stud?
You know how it is.
I bet she's pretty cute once you
clean all the *** off her.
I'll bet.
Okay, girlies,
it's hot out here,
and I'm really sick
of looking at all of you.
So let's just...
Let's get out of here.
What you lookin' at?
Wipe that face
off your head, ***.
Listen up!
Get in the truck!
Get in the truck,
come on.
Maybe if you ever left
the poker table...
If I ever left
the poker table?
What about you?
The point is, that's why
we're going out tonight.
You might experience
something more tangible
than an Abraham Lincoln dream.
That's a hairline fracture.
What did you do?
Holy ***!
I wouldn't doubt it.
My boy, Benny, was
wearin' their *** out!
Just givin' them
a little beatin'
they'll never forget.
Here's to ya, Ma.
That's
your ***' mother.
Say, man, *** the coaches.
Just do it for us, man.
You pick this thing up?
Yeah.
What are you doin'?
He ain't doin' ***, man.
Any more details of my life
you can let me in on, Ben?
I got lots of details.
Fellas, fellas!
O'Bannion,
what are you doin'?
You didn't hear,
did you?
No.
You didn't hear I got a shotgun
pulled on my ***?
Swear to God.
No way!
Hey, Mrs. Pickford.
Hi, guys.
You here to see Kevin?
No, actually,
we came to see you.
Oh.
Bet you're glad
school's out.
We got
our report cards today.
How did you do?
Straight A's.
Both of you?
Just kiddin'.
Big trip, huh?
We're going away
for the weekend.
You're taking Kev
with you?
No, he's staying here.
Oh! Oh, he is.
Oh.
Thanks.
Go on in. He's up
there somewhere.
Let's get together
sometime.
Yeah, that
would be fun.
Yeah.
What do you do?
I mean, for fun?
Usually just hang out
with the girls,
drive around.
That kind of stuff.
There's a big party
tonight.
It should be
really great. So.
Do you wanna come?
Yeah? Cool.
Yeah.
That would be fun.
You think it would
be all right?
It'll be fine.
Okay, great. We'll pick
you up about 8:30.
Okay.
See you then.
Bye.
Okay, bye-bye.
Let's go,
we gotta get ready.
Sample of the goods.
Fifteen bucks.
Can you
spot me ten?
Hmm?
I'll pay you like...
Tuesday and ***.
Thank you.
Who is it?
Kevin,
I think you need
to come out here.
It reeks in here!
There's someone out here
who says he needs
to talk to you.
What about?
Go get the door, man.
Here.
Slater, lose it!
Kevin, open the door.
Hey, Dad, Mom.
What's up?
Did you order
some kegs of beer?
No.
There's a fella on a beer
truck out on the street
that says you did.
Oh, really?
Just a sec.
Yeah.
***.
That guy said
I ordered a keg of beer?
Yeah.
He said it was
to be delivered to the
Pickford residence.
This address?
This address.
Humph.
That's kinda funny.
Why don't I go out there
and see what's goin' on?
I think you better.
I'll be right back.
You guys...
know anything about
a party here tonight?
No, sir.
No.
Hey, hey, hey.
Hey, man. Aren't you
a little bit early?
Uh... yeah, about
an hour and a half.
I wanted to
get here early,
see if anyone was here.
I got this
little action happenin',
if you know what I mean.
So I guess you got
the wrong house.
Yeah. Inconvenience
for you. I'm sorry.
Wrong Mr. Pickford
altogether.
Hey, these things happen.
Don't worry about it...
Ben. Yeah.
Were you going to have
a party here tonight, son?
I don't know
what that was all about.
Start unpacking.
We're not goin' anywhere.
***!
Frank!
Look out,
look out!
Hey, batter, batter,
swing!
Concentrate out there!
Strike... two!
Time!
Kramer, one more pitch.
You better get this kid out,
or we're really gonna
beat your ***.
Let's go!
We're gonna beat you
like a runnin' mule.
Hey, man,
forget about those guys.
Let's just get
this last guy out, okay?
Easy for your *** to say.
Hey, man, there's nothin'
you can do about it.
How did they know
I was gonna be here?
Hey, Kramer, quit stallin'.
Let's go!
Hope you got more than a
jock strap under there,
you little rat!
Because you're not gonna
be able to sit down
for the summer,
don't let it affect
your concentration.
Up yours.
Mitch, could you do us a favor
and leave through the gate
in right field?
That'll draw
them out of here.
They're gonna get you anyway.
Yeah,
get outta here.
What are you lookin' at?
Keep your head in the game.
Strike... three!
Ball game.
Good game.
Good game.
Good game. Good game.
Good game, man.
Yeah, right.
Good game, good game,
good game, good game.
Yeah, right.
Good game.
Good game.
What's happening?
Good game, good game!
Way to go, buddy.
Aw, what happened
to your buds?
Come on,
let's get this guy.
Hey, Mitch! Mitch!
Kramer!
How's your dad doing?
He's doing great.
This arm ready to throw
about 2,000 yards
next fall?
Oh, I don't know.
We'll see.
We're dependin'
on you boys.
Let me tell you what.
You're looking good!
Thirteen starters
coming back, 22 lettermen.
Lookin' tough.
Yeah.
Well, you folks take care.
Good to see you,
Randy.
Oh, God,
you know that hurts!
You know that hurt him.
What's goin' on here?
Oh, Pink, you missed it!
What's up buddy?
What's up?
Where are you
headed off to now?
The point. Gonna join us?
Yeah, see you
up there.
Need you to sign
my paddle later.
I gotta get seconds
with him.
Wait.
You next, Pink?
Sure.
You already got him.
All right,
*** it.
I'm gonna go find
your little skinny
partner Carl and his mom.
I took it easy
on you.
You're not smilin' now,
are ya, you little
sack of ***.
Benny, Don.
Say, man, bummer about
Pickford's party, huh?
Yeah.
Yeah.
His old man found out.
Total rip-off, man.
Hey, man, we got
a few sixers.
You with us?
Yeah, I gotta go
home and change.
I'll catch up with you.
All right, see you later.
Hey, kid, take care
of that butt.
Say, guys, hold up!
You need a ride?
Yeah.
Uh... I think
they left me.
Here you go, man.
Yeah, there's
always one senior who
has to be the bad ***.
I think O'Bannion's
gonna be the first senior
in history...
to take that honor
two years in a row.
The guy's a ***,
right?
Yeah, he's, uh,
kind of a joke.
He's not a bad guy
to have on your side
blocking for ya.
Yeah.
Did you get it bad
when you were a freshman?
Aw. ***, man.
They waited for my ***
after baseball practice
and got me.
God, it was vicious.
Actually, it is best
to get a lot at once 'cause
after about ten licks,
your *** gets so numb,
you might as well
get it over with.
I had some
pretty cool seniors.
They'd take you out
and bust the hell
out of you and then...
go get you drunk,
stuff like that.
Cool.
Thanks, man.
Yeah,
take care, man.
Uh, hey, man, look,
since the party's
not goin' on,
me and some of the other guys'll
probably end up ridin' around.
You want us to stop by
and pick you up?
You think that's
a good idea?
Oh, yeah, sure, man.
The guys who haven't got
you yet will give you
a few days to rest.
It, uh... It'd be a pretty
cool move to show up...
and let 'em know it doesn't
bother you that much.
Yeah, okay. Cool.
See ya later?
Yeah, sure.
Thanks for the ride, man.
Hey, man, uh...
put some ice on it
for a while.
After that, it won't be
anything a few beers
can't take care of.
Like, what did she say?
I'm just interested.
I mean, what did she call me?
You hang out with her.
You know it.
We know they talk about us.
Just tell us.
Nothing.
Aw, come on!
Nothing?
That's a lie.
When you do that, I know
you're lying, you ***.
You're not gonna get mad?
I'm not gonna get mad.
I think it's a riot.
I don't care
what she thinks.
Just tell us.
She called you a ***
and you a ***.
She called me a ***?
That ***!
Everybody
calls you a ***.
Oh, ***!
That ***!
I'm gonna kick her ***.
I can't believe that.
What a ***.
You said you weren't
gonna get mad.
I'm not mad.
Look, I got
a confession to make.
What do you mean?
You know I've been talkin' about
going to law school so I can
be an A.C.L.U. lawyer...
and help people who are
getting *** over?
Well, I was standing in line
at the post office yesterday
and I'm lookin' around.
And everybody's looking
really pathetic.
People got drool
just sorta...
And this guy's bending over,
you could see the crack...
Aw!
It was just like
wife beaters...
Anyway, it was...
And I realize I just
didn't want to do it!
It sounds good
and all but I have
to confront the fact...
that I really don't like
the people I've been talking
about helping out.
I don't think I like people,
period. You guys are okay.
I'm just trying to be honest
about being a misanthrope.
So you're not gonna
go to law school?
What do you wanna do?
I wanna dance!
All right,
let's rock and roll.
Hey, hop in, man.
Hey, man,
whose car?
You know Wooderson?
How's it goin',
man?
Pretty good.
How's it goin'
with you?
Say, man.
You got a joint?
Uh... no,
not on me, man.
It'd be a lot cooler
if you did.
All right, all right.
Hey, man, you
still drivin' into Houston and
get those Aerosmith tickets?
You damn right.
Evenin', ladies.
Nice.
Need me to pick you up
a couple?
Yeah, two.
Cool.
Man, you sure I'm okay in here?
You'll be okay.
If anyone starts messin'
with ya, play it cool.
One to go. Prickford!
- "Wood-a-been," happenin'?
- Bummer about your party.
What can I say?
It's beyond me.
Delivery guy bricked.
And it's a...
Keep your eye on the ball.
Dead issue!
How's it going?
Good. What's goin' on?
Nothin'.
Nothin' at all.
Not much?
You know Mitch?
I think I just
heard about you.
- What did you hear?
- I don't know, man.
Are you okay?
Oh. Yeah.
Oh. I guess I'll see
you guys later?
Okay.
Talk to you later.
Okay. See you.
Hey, man.
What grade's she in?
Sophomore.
Come on, hurry up.
We gotta hurry, though.
Check this out, man.
Donny!
I got a big surprise
for ya. Come on.
Oh, God!
Hold onto this, tight.
Yeah!
Yeah!
Oh, wow! Geez!
Nice tongue!
Who painted 'em?
Ah!
Mostly Michelle.
Ah!
I got an idea.
What?
A beer bust later on.
Hey, man.
Pickford's got a duber
about to burn.
You with us?
Think about it.
Yeah.
You cool, man?
Like how?
Okay.
Hey, man, wait up.
He was just askin'
if you get high.
Yeah, like smoke pot?
Yeah.
I never have before
but, you know.
Where you goin'?
Where you goin'?
All right,
you... knock. Just...
Hi. No.
Crank it up!
Oh, yeah!
Hey, it's the chicks.
Shavonne's still
mad at me.
Watch me get
something going.
Hey, what's goin' on?
What are you up to?
A little weed.
There may be
a beer bust later on.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Cool.
Guess we'll
see you around.
All right, check you later.
Bye.
Slate, man, why are you
always such a dork, man?
What are you talkin' about?
"Check you later."
Get off my case, man.
Oh, man.
Chicks don't wanna
hear that ***.
They don't wanna
hear anything, man.
The girls, man,
in our classes,
they're all prudes.
Worthless
little ***, man.
Oh, my God.
The girls ahead of us
were wild. Our class
is worthless, man.
Maybe you've never got past
the sniffin'-butt stage.
Hey, man, it's,
it's quality not quantity.
And wait 'til I get
to college, man.
I can't wait
to get to college.
Yeah, when I get to college,
all I'm gonna do is
***, ***, ***, ***!
Hey, Hirschfelder,
let's go.
Let's go.
Let's get outta here.
Let's go.
Come on, man.
All right.
- It's time to leave.
- I'll be right back.
Hey. You boys leave,
you can't come back.
Aw, gee.
You hear that?
If we leave,
we can't come back.
Oh, no!
What should we do?
What the hell are we doing?
I was gettin' there.
Man, I had my hand
up her shirt.
Oh.
You were gettin' there?
You hear that?
He was gettin' there.
You wouldn't know what to do
if you had gotten there,
so don't worry about it.
Just 'cause you guys
are striking out...
Grow up, boy!
That was our last
junior high party.
That's right.
We're in the big time now.
We're freshmen, where all
the girls'll be puttin' out.
Your days of lyin' around
and pullin' tongue
all night are over.
You didn't know
she stuffs her bra?
Terry stuffs her bra?
You didn't know
those were socks?
They looked real
to me.
***.
Scatter!
Get over there!
Where you runnin' to?
We ain't gonna
hurt ya... much.
Hold onto that fence
and just squeal like a pig.
You ready to switch hit?
Oh, yeah.
Geez.
***.
Hey, you guys!
Take it easy
on the kid!
Ladies.
Hey, who is that kid?
Some kid we saw
that shouldn't have been
by the rec center.
Can we have some
of those beers?
One of these?
Yeah.
- Why?
- Just gimme a beer.
Yeah? Catch.
Huh, huh.
Tubs, catch!
Get outta here!
What are you wastin'
a beer on him for?
What?
Son of a ***.
It's no big deal.
This ***' sucks.
Last ***' day of school,
no ***' party,
no ***' nothin'.
You just wasted
another ***' beer.
Shut up!
Thanks.
Hmm.
Hey.
Which one of your friends
bought you the beer
this time?
Hey, *** her. I did!
- Bite me!
- You wish, ***!
*** you!
Why are guys
such pigs?
What?
Let's get outta here.
We're outta here.
Let me tell ya what
Melba Toast is packin'.
We got 411 positrack out back,
750 double pumper,
Edelbroc intakes, Ford over-30
at 11 to 1 pop-up pistons,
Turbo-jet 390 horsepower.
We're talkin'
some ***' muscle.
I know you got this thing
out of a comic book.
I saw the ad... 295.
It was right next
to the sea monkeys.
You see that?
That's white lightning.
See the shoes on that thing?
You gotta get some tires.
They're pizza cutters, man.
- Yeah.
- Ow.
This is sad. Shouldn't we
be doing something else?
Yeah, like what?
I'm bored.
Let's split.
Where do you
want to go?
Pink!
Hey.
You hear anything more
about a beer bust?
Talk to this man right here.
Patience, darlin',
patience.
Hey.
What are you
doing here?
I was just about to ask you
the same question.
I heard
you got busted.
Oh, yeah.
They just got
Hirschfelder too.
Really?
Like how bad?
Bad.
Was it O'Bannion?
Yeah.
God, I hate
that jerk!
I know.
So, um...
Like, what have you guys
been doin'? Just...
I don't know.
Drivin' around mostly.
I didn't know Jodi
was your big sister.
Hey, I hear
my name over here?
You talkin' about me?
Hey, kiddo. Heard they
got you pretty bad.
Man, I asked them
to take it easy on you.
I can't believe they did that.
Man! God,
no wonder!
Where'd they find Hirsch?
Walkin' out of
the rec center, I think.
What have you guys
been doing?
Hi.
Ow!
Hi.
Face it.
You got busted because
you couldn't get away.
You try and outrun those guys.
I'm gonna laugh my *** off
when it's your turn.
Oh, man, I heard last year,
they caught about
ten freshmen at once.
O'Bannion backed his truck
over some pizzas
and made 'em eat it, man.
Idiot flunks his senior year
so he can be a ***
two years in a row.
Is that legal?
Damn you, Carl!
Okay, let me out.
Hey, Slater,
you ***' hippie,
gimme drugs, man!
- Get some from your mother, man.
- We just bagged your mother.
*** you,
***-head.
Those guys, man.
What's goin' on?
I haven't seen you
in so long.
Man, what is happenin'?
Long time... no see.
What have you been up to?
Same old ***, man.
Workin' for the city.
Workin' man, huh?
Been thinkin' about
gettin' back in school, man.
Back in J.C.,
somethin' like that?
Yeah, man.
That's where all
the girls are, right?
On the other hand,
I'd just as soon
keep workin',
keep a little change
in my pocket.
Yeah? Wait.
Rather than listen
to some dipshit...
who doesn't know what
the hell he's talking about.
You're a freshman,
right?
Yeah.
So tell me, man.
How's this year's crop
of freshman chicks lookin'?
Wood, you're gonna end up
in jail sometime really soon.
No, man.
No, let me tell you.
That's what
I love about these
high school girls, man.
I get older,
they stay the same age.
Yes, they do.
Yes, they do.
- You guys wanna go for a spin?
- Yeah. Shotgun!
Aw.
Woods.
I'm here, man.
You gonna
come along?
Uh, yeah.
Why not?
You boys have fun now.
Thanks a lot.
Listen, I'm gonna
give you shotgun.
But I want you to know
it's only 'cause
I'm goin' inside.
You keep that in mind.
Got it.
Hey, man, whose bowling ball
is this?
It's yours.
Hey, man, what's happenin'?
Play a little foosball?
Yeah!
All right.
Pull over to the trash here.
Pull over to the trash here.
***, yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
- Hey, guys, pull over
to that one over there.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Here, hold this, hold this.
Got it! Go! Go!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Bowling ball.
Throw the bowling ball.
Yeah.
Think I should?
Yeah. Throw it. Throw it.
Throw it. Throw it.
Come on. You're playin'
with the big boys now, man.
Do it. Throw it.
***-sissy-***-freshman,
throw it! Throw it!
Heave it!
*** 'em!
That bowling ball
said "Oof!" to that
damn windshield!
Yeah.
You're nuts, Junior!
You're nuts!
Hey, man, we're outta beer.
We gotta make
a grab-and-go stop.
I don't have any money.
Who's got money?
I gave mine to...
Where's your money?
Doesn't matter. Pull in,
heading out that way.
Are you gonna hoist it?
Yeah. All I need's
the freshman as a lookout.
I don't wanna
get in trouble.
Do you, Pink?
I don't know
about this, Don.
Come on.
Better be careful...
Junior.
Sunflower seeds...
Zigzags.
Zigzags.
Hey, man, I'm not
too sure about this.
Shh! I'm gonna pay for it.
I'm just messin' around
with 'em, okay?
Good.
Run!
Go, go, go, go!
We gotta get
outta here, man!
Let's go!
Come on, let's go!
Oh, my God!
Don't try anything
or I'll shoot
the *** outta you.
- Don, give
the beer back, man.
- I paid for the beer, man.
You busted my mailbox,
didn't you?
Look me in
the eye, punk!
- I don't know what you're talking
about, but I suggest that you...
- You busted it, didn't ya?
Tamperin' with mailboxes
is a felony offense.
Now I done called
the police.
- I think you boys oughta
get outta the car.
- Just go, man.
- Nice and slow.
- Go, go, go, go, go!
Get down!
He's shooting at us!
Holy...
Fairly uneventful,
huh?
Which one of you
had the theory...
about how President Ford's
old football head injury
is affecting the economy?
Did you know Ford was
on the Warren Commission?
Who cares?
He's outta there this fall.
Look, we need some alcohol.
That's a thought.
Say, man, why don't you
run out to the Centennial
over there...
and pick me up
a sixer of this stuff.
Think you can
do that?
Uh...
Thanks, man.
Good luck.
I'm just sayin'
if we're gonna drive around,
we should just do somethin'.
Yeah, you know,
you're right, man.
I'm just gonna get drunk,
maybe get laid or...
get in a fight.
I'm serious. We should
be up for anything.
I know. We are, but what?
I mean, God, don't you ever feel
like everything we do...
and everything we've been taught
is just to service the future?
Yeah, I know. It's like
it's all... preparation.
- Right. But what are we
preparing ourselves for?
- Death.
- Life of the party.
- It's true.
You know, but that's valid.
If we're all gonna die
anyway, shouldn't we be
enjoying ourselves now?
You know, I'd like to quit
thinking of the present,
like right now is some minor,
insignificant preamble
to somethin' else.
Exactly. Man, that's what
everybody in this car needs...
is some good ol' worthwhile
visceral experience.
Remember to eat
a green thing every day,
and have lots of calcium.
It's very important
for young mothers
to have lots of calcium.
Here you are.
See you tomorrow night.
Bye.
How are you
this evenin'?
Pretty good.
How's it goin'?
Be goin' a lot better when I
get off in a couple of hours.
Yeah, I hear that.
- You're 18, right?
- Oh, yeah.
Just graduated.
Graduated.
Congratulations.
So you off to college
in the fall?
Oh, ya know,
I'm still not sure;
I'm workin' right now
for the city.
Thinkin' of holdin' on
to the job for a while.
It's like... You know,
it's money in my pocket.
I hear that.
Here's some more money for
your pocket. You have
a nice night tonight.
Okay, thanks.
Hey, take it easy.
Psst! Hey, Mitch.
- Hey, there you guys are.
- Hey, man, what's in the bag?
Uh, sixer.
You owe me one, man.
Yeah.
They busted the hell
outta Hirschfelder too.
Yeah, I heard.
- Hey, man, you over
at the Emporium?
- Oh, yeah.
- Eh, is that ***
O'Bannion over there?
- Yes. I hate that jerk.
- Do you guys
wanna get him back?
- Yeah.
They really sold it to you?
Of course.
Cool.
There ya go, buddy.
Whoo!
Paycheck. Oh, yeah.
Way to shoot, man.
Thanks, man.
Oh, yeah.
He got in.
Whoo!
I got
your change too.
Oh, don't worry
'bout it, man.
A beer for my partner.
Want a beer?
Yeah.
All right.
Guys, party
at the moon tower.
Oh, I'm in.
You and Benny pick up
the first keg.
I'm going to collect
for the rest.
Spread the word, man.
Max, Phil,
party at the moon tower.
Eh, good game, man. You too.
Y'all are an embarrassment
to the sport of pool...
and should be proud
that I let you play...
at my table.
You are the worst pool player
I've ever seen in my life.
You keep watchin' me,
you might learn somethin'.
***, you got so many balls
on the table,
I'm gonna have to start
knockin'your balls in
to get 'em out of my way.
Corner pocket.
Check this out.
God, you are terrible!
Okay, Elmo,
I hope you are ready...
to taste the agonizing,
bitter humiliation
of defeat.
So did you hear
they're busting
Carl Burnett out back?
What did you say?
About what?
Carl Burnett.
I just heard
he's gettin' busted.
- Benny, they got
Burnett out back.
- Carl Burnett?
Let's go, let's go.
Gimme two, three minutes
and let me finish this game.
You hold him for me!
All right, all right!
Hey, man.
That Julie chick?
Loves you.
Oh, yeah. You want her?
Gotta play it cool, ya know.
Can't let her know how much
you like her. If she knows,
she'll dump ya like that.
Like if she asks you
to ride out there with her,
you say somethin' like,
"Nah, got my own ride,
but maybe I'll see ya later."
Sounds stupid,
doesn't it?
It works.
We got another one, huh?
Whoa, whoa, guys.
You wouldn't mind if I
went first there, would ya?
Is that all right?
It's kind of
a personal thing...
between me and this
little piece of *** here.
So... we meet again, huh?
Did y'all hear this little
***'s mom pulled
a shotgun on me this afternoon?
***' ***.
You, you haven't had any
licks yet, have ya? Hmm?
No.
Whoo!
Another cherry, boys.
Man, get the ***
against the wall.
You have to be the dumbest...
Gonna find you.
I would like to dedicate
this first lick...
to your mother.
***!
Oh-ho, not yet.
Oh, it's gettin' warmer.
What the ***?
Remember me,
you pig?
Oh!
Let's go, man!
Come on!
Hurry, man!
Let's go!
I'm hurrying!
Come on, come on!
Hurry up, guys!
It was beautiful!
You should have seen
the look on that
***'s face. Get in!
Jesus! You let that
little *** get away!
What is the matter with you?
It's ***' pitiful!
***!
Freshmen ***-heads!
What the *** are you
lookin' at, huh?
Kick your ***' ***
right now.
***.
What are you smilin' at,
freshman ***, huh?
*** you.
*** all of you!
*** you!
*** it!
Oh, man.
Oh, I can't believe
I'm doing this. I swore to God
I'd never come to a Top Notch,
and here I am sorting through
jalapeño burgers and
soggy fries.
Here take 'em.
All right,
all right, all right.
Oh, Christ.
How ya doin'?
Pretty good.
Cool. You heard
about the party
bein' busted, right?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah?
Not to worry.
There's a new fiesta
in the making
as we speak.
It's out
at the moon tower.
Full kegs, everybody's
gonna be there.
You oughta go.
Okay.
Okay,
we'll be there.
- Okay.
- So ya need a ride?
Uh, no. I got
my own car. Thanks.
Yeah, well, listen.
You oughta ditch the two geeks
in the car and get in with us,
but that's all right.
We'll worry
about that later.
I will see you there.
All right?
Bye.
I love those
redheads, man.
I know you.
We had geography
together, remember?
Oh, great.
Oh, God.
What a ***.
That was so creepy.
Ugh!
Why are you smilin'?
I thought he was cute.
Oh, that's disgusting.
You thought
he was cute?
Do you realize when
he graduated, we were
like, three years old?
Cynthia, what are
you thinking? Ugh!
I don't know.
Ugh!
So we gonna still go?
Huh? Yeah,
what the hell?
Oh, get back!
Gang way! This is
a moving party,
butt face!
Hey, Benny, you better have
your wood screwed...
*** you!
'cause I'm gonna blow
your doors completely off!
Man, someone's
tokin' some ***.
Hey, man.
Hey, slow down.
Yeah, what?
What's up?
What'd you just say?
When?
Just now, man,
when you walked past.
What'd you say?
A-About what?
You said,
"Someone's tokin' some ***."
No, I may
have said somethin'
about smellin' some pot.
It was just
an observation.
Oh, an observation, huh?
Well, who the hell are you, man,
Isaac ***' Newton?
Well, guess what, genius?
I'm the one smokin' marijuana?
You got a problem with that?
No, of course not.
Well, why'd
you say that?
Come on, man. Don't let
your mouth write a check
your butt can't cash.
I'm blazin' with my friends,
so I'm a ***' pothead, man.
What's it to you, huh? Huh?
Outta observations?
Observe while I punch
your teeth down your throat!
Come on, dude,
relax!
He's cool, man. Relax.
Hey, I'll be watchin' you,
Newton.
I only came here to do
two things, man: kick
some *** and drink some beer.
Looks like we're
almost outta beer.
You okay, man?
Yeah.
Why's it called
the moon tower?
Uh, I guess they just decided
to put it up here when they
were buildin' the power plant.
Actually, it's a good idea.
I mean, you got
a full moon out here every day
of the year, you know?
Yeah, but nothing's ever been
repaired, so this whole place
could fall down at any time.
So you better watch
your step, Junior.
Whoa!
This place used to be
off-limits, man,
'cause some
drunk freshman
fell off.
He went right down
the middle, smackin' his
head on every beam, man.
I hear it doesn't
hurt after the first
couple, though.
Autopsy said
he had one beer, man.
How many'd you have?
Four.
You're dead, man.
You're so dead.
Look at the bloodstains
right there.
Shut up.
I'm gonna get
that guy.
What guy?
That ***
on the way in.
Clint.
That superdominant man
in a '50s greaser uniform.
I wouldn't
suggest that, Mike.
Most
fights at places like this...
never get past a punch or two
before they're broken up.
There's an almost natural
instinct not to upset the herd.
So all I gotta do is
get in one good punch,
play defense and wait.
What?
What are
you talking about?
At first, I was relieved
to get out of the situation,
but now there's this...
level of humiliation
setting in that's gonna be
with me for *** ever!
I'm not gonna
let this be another situation
which contributes to me being...
a little ineffectual nothing
the rest of my life,
you know?
Would you look at this
*** town, man. It's dead.
Imagine how many people
out there right now
are ***' man.
Just goin' at it.
Hey.
Hey.
Remember me?
Sure. You're
Sabrina, right?
Right.
How ya doin'?
Okay.
Hey, let's go.
What brings you here?
Oh, just
hangin' out.
You havin' fun?
Yeah. Yeah.
So, uh, does your offer
from this afternoon
still stand?
What am I supposed to say?
Anything you want.
Why'd we
even come here?
I always feel
a little out of place
at these things, you know?
You're tellin' me.
I'm being stalked
by a Nazi.
That a little bit of ***
I smell on you, boy?
Coach is right.
You're running with
that bad crowd again.
You've got
an attitude adjustment
you've gotta make right now.
Like I'm
the only athlete
at this ***' party.
Coach is right, Don.
Those guys don't care
if we win or lose.
Just remember that.
Check this out.
Watch this, both of you.
Watch me get this beer.
Watch.
Oh, no, it's the cops!
Look! Look, look,
look, look!
It was so easy.
Oh, ***. He needs
another drink real,
you know, bad.
Ah!
Hi. Wonderin' if you
were around here.
How's it goin'?
Aw, man!
So, uh, I just wanted
to talk, you know?
Are you
quittin' football?
Or is it
just this pledge?
You don't wanna sign
the pledge, right?
That's what it is.
I don't know, man.
Well, maybe I'm not
into any of it anymore.
You're not into
any of it anymore.
Um.
That will be the biggest
mistake of your life, Pink.
No one quits senior year,
pal, especially if you're
starring quarterback.
I mean, we got
a shot at state.
We kicked some butt
this year.
It's what we've been working
for all of our lives, man.
Me and you, Benny.
We wanna be
champions together.
Look, man.
All I'm sayin' is...
that if I do play
next year,
it's gonna be on my terms,
not theirs.
You just remember
one thing, Pink.
It ain't just about you, pal.
It's about us:
me, Donnie, Mel.
You'll be ***'
us over.
Or maybe you’re just
***' scared, huh?
Have a nice night.
Do you guys know
what that song's about?
It's about aliens.
We're the aliens,
man.
We're the savages.
We're the savages.
Wait, man.
That song's about that?
Yeah, man,
that song's about that.
About aliens?
Yeah, man.
You didn't know that?
This country is founded...
It was founded by people
who were into aliens, man.
George Washington, man,
he was in a cult, and the cult
was into aliens, man.
You didn't know that?
No.
Oh, man. They were way
into that type of stuff.
It's like the
every-other-decade
theory, you know?
The '50s were boring,
the '60s rocked,
and the '70s...
Oh, my God,
they obviously suck.
I mean, come on.
Maybe the '80s
will be radical.
You know? I figure we'll
be in our 20s, and, hey,
it can't get any worse.
Wait a minute.
Who put the keg
way out here in the woods?
Hmm, I don't know.
Uh-uh.
This is just where
they told me it would be.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah. I don't think
we need beer anyway.
George toked weed, man.
Absolutely George toked weed.
Are you kiddin' me, man?
He grew fields of that
stuff, man. That's what
I'm talkin' about.
He grew that ***
up in Mount Vernon, man.
He grew it all over the country.
He had people growin' it
all over the country.
The whole country back then
was gettin' high.
'Cause he knew he was
on to somethin'.
He knew that it
would be a good cash crop
for the southern states, man.
So he grew fields of it, man.
But you know what?
Behind every good man,
there's a woman, and that woman
was Martha Washington, man,
and every day,
George would come home,
she'd have a big, fat bowl
waiting for him, man,
when he'd come in the door.
She was a hip, a hip,
hip lady, man.
Wait a minute.
Wait, wait, wait.
What?
What are you doing?
I don't know.
Don't you have
a girlfriend?
What girlfriend?
What's her name?
Simone.
Hmm?
And she, she
was real cool too.
She'd harvest the crops.
That's what I'm talkin' about.
She'd put in, um, bushels and
stuff and sell it, you know?
Because they had to,
you know, make ends meet
and stuff.
I mean, did you ever look
at a dollar bill, man?
There's some spooky stuff
goin' on on a dollar bill.
It's green too.
Later.
See ya.
Yeah, cool.
Wait, wait, wait.
What was that all about?
What are you doin' back
there?
Exactly what you
wish you were doin'.
- Look at your boy.
Look at your boy.
- Kramer!
Yeah, you, you! Freshman,
right here. Come on.
- Right here, buddy.
- He waves at us.
- What is this wave ***?
- Freshman, over here.
Over here. Now.
Come on.
Over here. Come on.
Come on, come on, come on.
Aw, ***. I should go.
Yeah, I guess
you probably should.
***. I'll be back.
Okay.
He's like a little Casanova.
It's amazing.
Look at that ***-eatin'
grin on his face.
Not bad for a freshman,
but you better
watch out for them
older girls.
Hey, hey, hey,
come here.
We just wanna know
somethin', okay?
Are you gonna be ***'
that later, or are you
gonna be a little wimp?
How do you know
I haven't already?
Oh, yeah!
Get outta here. I think
it's past your bedtime.
Run along.
Come here.
Why don't you go get
a ride with her?
Say we left ya.
It will work.
It will work. Go.
Hey, Kramer, show it to her.
Give it to her.
Go, boy.
Air raid, freshman.
What?
Air raid, freshman.
Aw, come on, Darla.
Leave her alone.
This is between me and her,
and she better be
on the ground in five seconds.
Wait.
She doesn't have to air raid
because she's with me, okay?
Air raid
or it's your ***.
Don't do it, Sabrina.
Oh, that's it.
Miss Hot Stuff.
I'm going to make the next year
of your life a living hell.
Lick me, all of you!
Good for you.
Don't air raid
for that ***.
I hate that ***.
It's like that Clint
*** in front of
all his friends.
"Huh? Huh,
***?"
Oh, right. Okay, Mike.
- Dominant male monkey
***.
- God!
T-A-R-A.
I never met
a "Tara" before.
You're my first.
Hey, what...
All right!
- He did it. I can't believe it.
- I ***' knew I should have
kicked your ***.
Come on! Come on, man!
Come on!
- Ha! Whoo-hoo!
- Stop now!
You guys, that's Mike.
Oh, ***.
That crazy ***.
You like this?
You like this, ***?
Kick his ***!
Come on, man!
You want some more?
You ***' ***!
Come on, you ***' ***!
Aaah! Aaah!
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
Get the *** off me!
Come on, stay down!
***' ***!
You ***' ***!
You got ***' smoked!
Yeah, come on, man.
You want some more?
You ***!
Hey. Hey,
little brother.
Is that a beer
in your hand?
Why, yes, it is.
Have you had more than
one of those tonight?
A few. Nobody's counting.
Hey. How ya doin'?
Hey, how's
it goin'?
Guess I might as well just get
used to you being at the same
social functions as me, huh?
And, uh, hangin' out
with people I know?
Hey, what time
are you supposed
to be home anyway?
Oh, geez,
I don't know.
Couple of hours ago.
That's ***.
That's major ***.
Do you know Mom barely even
let me out of the house
when I was your age?
Aw!
Aw!
Don't think for a minute...
she's not gonna be
waiting up for you.
I've been through it.
And she's tough.
Yeah, well...
Just don't ask her
to take it easy
on me, please.
What's that
supposed to mean?
Take it easy on him?
Let's go smoke
that joint.
He's in for a surprise.
All right.
Good.
Thanks a lot, man.
Hey, man, no worries.
Take care.
Listen, I'll pick ya up
tomorrow at 4:00?
Okay.
Hey. Aerosmith.
Three weeks.
Front-row seats, babe.
All right.
I won't forget.
So, uh, who's
buying breakfast?
Not me.
I will, I guess.
Great.
You comin' along?
Sure.
Night, John Boy. Ali.
Good night.
"Wood-a-been."
Pink, my man.
What's happenin'?
Not a lot.
Cynthia, man?
I like it, man.
Very nice. My favorite color.
Yeah? Red's
a good color for you.
Hey, have you seen
Jodi around?
She left your ***.
Really?
Well, ya win some,
ya lose some.
What about Peter Pan?
Hey, brother,
roll it back.
What's goin' on,
man?
Guys, what's
goin' on?
Nothing.
Pickford
wouldn't know.
What time is it?
Let's go smoke
a joint, man, on the
50 ***' yard line,
- in honor of your daddy
Coach Conrad.
We're there.
Great idea.
Hey, man
with the plan.
Gonna come with me?
Okay.
Yeah, dude, man.
Hey.
Joint subcommittee meeting
on the 50 yard line in 15.
You there?
Okay.
Don, y'all ride
with me. Let'*** it.
This is cashed, man.
It's cashed.
It's in there, man.
You can ride with us, man, but
you're ridin' in the back 'cause
I ain't gonna shotgun you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Hey, hey.
Hey, hey, watch
the leather, man.
Don't you quit?
You wanna hit him?
He was wide open!
You want to hit him!
Jesus, son, you're
wearin' Rebel gray!
Now break down!
Break down!
I'm sorry, Coach.
I want you on him
like stink on ***,
stink on ***!
Break down! You
don't deserve to wear
that Rebel gray, boy!
You won't hit him?
You won't hit him?
O-T-S-S!
Only the strong survive!
Only the strong survive!
Only the strong survive!
That's it!
Only the strong
survive!
Now where's your pitch man?
Hit your *** pitch man!
Oh, my God!
He spins around!
Pink runs! Ya!
He fumbles!
Hell, my grandmother
can hit harder than that.
What the ***,
man?
'Course she's
a 8 foot 4, 652-pound
hairy-*** gorilla,
drives a mac truck
and runs a 40 in 10.2.
She's gotten bigger.
She was only 6'2",
195 in my day.
- Still drivin' that
mac truck, though.
- Pink, you got my papers?
- Uh, yeah. There's some
in my glove compartment.
- I got 'em.
Hit me on the slant.
Gimme the keys
to an inside.
Hut! Down!
Marijuana on one.
*** on two.
Hut! Hut!
Wide open!
Huh!
- Oh, that's pretty good,
you know?
- Yeah.
Could be a little...
I don't know... Maybe perhaps
a little more symmetrical.
Does that hurt?
Aaah! Yes, it hurts.
Sorry, sorry.
It's a, it's a bruise.
I don't know.
Let me ask you somethin'.
I mean, I got some
pretty good ones in there.
I mean, you wouldn't say
I got my *** kicked.
Oh, no.
After a couple of years,
people won't even remember
if you won or lost.
No, you're right 'cause
like I read about, um,
like a Jackson ***
or Ernest Hemingway,
you never read who won or lost,
just they got into a brawl.
Exactly.
Well, uh, thanks for the ride
and breakfast and everything.
No problem.
Sure is nice to pile on some
old pancakes and syrup...
after a night of beer
drinking, isn't it?
Um...
Good night.
Good night.
Hope you're not grounded
or anything.
Thanks.
"Not to indulge in
any alcohol, drugs,
sex after 12:00...
or any other
illegal activity. "
You're like my shadow.
Later, babe. Found that
in your glove compartment, man.
You know, you're
the third person who's
given me this today? God.
What do you reckon
you're gonna do?
I'll probably end up signin'.
I just don't wanna
give in so easy.
Man, it's the same ***
they tried to pull in my day.
If it ain't that piece of paper,
some other choice they're
gonna try and make for you.
You gotta do
what Randall "Pink" Floyd
wants to do, man.
And let me tell ya this.
The older you do get,
the more rules they're gonna
try to get you to follow.
You just gotta keep livin', man.
L-I-V-I-N.
If you're gonna sign that paper,
man, you should throw a little
grass right in the middle,
roll it up,
sign the joint, man.
That's gonna tell 'em somethin'.
That's what I'll do.
Yeah. ***.
They're all a bunch
of ***, but you
gotta think about it.
We've had a lot
of good times here, Pink.
Yeah, come on, Pink.
I can't believe this.
You act like you're
so oppressed.
Man, you guys are
kings of the school; you
get away with whatever you want.
What are you ***' about?
Well, look,
all I'm sayin' is...
that if I ever start
referring to these as
the best years of my life,
remind me
to kill myself.
Well, all I'm sayin' is...
I just wanna look back
and say...
that I did it the best I could
while I was stuck in this place,
had as much fun as I could
when I was stuck in this place,
played as hard as I could
when I was stuck in this place,
dogged as many chicks as I could
when I was stuck in this place.
Yeah, right,
Mr. Premature ***.
Ooh!
Oh, that's great.
That's good.
That's good.
That the cops?
- What the hell...
- Hey! All of you!
Get over here!
Now!
Hey, man,
ditch that pot.
Is it illegal to be
on the football field?
I got some more.
All right,
just be good, okay?
Come on, Slater.
What'd we do?
You got any Visine?
Man, I can't
believe this.
If it ain't
old Richard Wrath.
How ya doin', ***?
Well, well, well.
Couple of
football players.
Wonder what Coach is
gonna think of all this.
Line up.
Wooderson?
Slavey?
Reliving old glories
on the football field?
Get through there.
You shouldn't still be mad
'cause I got all-district
and you didn't.
What?
Floyd!
Dawson! Get your
scrawny butts over here!
Mornin', Coach.
So what the hell's
goin' on?
- Why am I gettin' wake up
calls from the cops?
- Oh, that was nothin'.
They just left.
False alarm, Coach.
Come here, Randy.
Come here.
- You been out with
those losers all night?
- Hey, Coach Conrad.
Remember me?
Second-period gym class?
That's the kind of people
I was tellin' you about.
Trouble like this means
nothing to that bunch
of clowns.
You're the one
with something to lose.
Coach, you don't even know them.
How can you even pretend
to talk that way, huh?
Okay, Randy.
I shouldn't do this, but I'm
willing to wipe the slate
clean and forget about this.
I want you to get your
priorities straightened out,
quick hangin' out
with hoodlums and sign your
commitment to your team.
Have you done that yet?
I'm still thinkin'
about it.
No one's paying you
to think about it!
Just do it!
You know, Coach?
I gotta get goin'.
Me and my loser friends,
you know, we gotta go get
Aerosmith tickets.
Top priority
of the summer.
Oh. Coach, uh...
I forgot.
I might play ball.
But I will never
sign that.
Let's rock and roll.
All right, man.
Livin'.
***! I'm gettin'
my third wind.
Let's get on the road.
Let's go.
You gonna come, man?
Shotgun!
All right, man,
talk to you later then.
Yeah.
You guys not goin'?
Pink, can I
use your keys?
It's time to boogie
on outta here.
Hey.
So that's that, huh?
All right.
Slater. Aaah!
I never
get shotgun.
Aah! Oh, hi, Mom.
Hmm. Okay, Mitchell.
This is your one
get-outta-jail-free card.
So I hoped
you enjoyed it.
No.
Your sister told me
everything, so I've decided
to make this deal with you.
I'm... Well, I'm
gonna be open-minded
about it this time,
but... next time you
come in at sunrise,
we've got problems.
And, uh, who is this older girl
who gave you a ride?
Oh, she's just like...
Have you been drinking?
No.
Are you drunk?