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"She had this smile on her face that was like very welcoming to me. Um, um, when I first
held her, that was a feeling of like, 'Gosh, I'm not, I'm not going to let this go
"My daughter, um her name is Ashen? And um she was born on Halloween in 2007. She's brilliant.
Beautiful, talented. (pause) She saved my life; what can I say!"
SOUNDS OF BUS IN BACKGROUND (Ashen) "It's in the egg!" (Eli) "Inside the
egg? Must be a tiny toy ice cream huh...Wow!!" (Ashen) "You can even take the parts off,
see!" "I don't think um family unity is a priority
in this country. You look at where is money being cut these days, it's being cut from
food stamps, it's being cut from social programs, it's being cut from social security, it's
being cut from welfare programs, aid programs those all disproportionately affect families
particularly lower income families, particularly minority lower income families and that's
what hurts the most I think." (Bianca) "I think we should just quit the
um. th volleyball game and go to the ....game." (Joey) "And go to the.... House."
"So I remember when we were getting ready to bring her home, and they were talking about
who the father was on the paper work, and she didn't list any, and so it was unknown,
and I was sitting at this interview with her just as her friend, and um, and that part
was tough you know, because here I am, and she's gonna be trying to collect benefits
for my daughter, and were not going to mention me.
And so the title's change, as well you know. Mom becomes head of household; and so um,
those words actually hurt. When you're sitting there doing the paperwork and it says 'head
of household' and mom puts her name on there, and you're just like, wow, I'm just like a
ghost, but I'm here.
And we left it at that; not even considering that we'd have a CPS case open. And that this
might be an important document for anybody that's involved in my daughter's life."
People in desperate situations will do desperate things. So to the degree that our public policy
and law making continues to keep people in desperate situations. Guess what! They will
do things that those of us who aren't in those that aren't in that desperate situation would
think to be improper or desperate themselves." "It's almost a counter-measure of a family
being able to make it, and it's a poverty, counter, counter-measure, when I look at it.
You know, you wouldn't do it, if you didn't have to do it."
"A number of fathers in the U.S. deny paternity when their child is born in order to prevent
housing & food insecurity for their families. "The full national impact of this practice
has not yet been studied." (car sounds) "My daughter was taken by CPS
entered into the system and that's when it hurt the most 'cause um I went there to pick
up my daughter and the emergency worker said "You know, Mr. Cordero, we can't reunify you
with your, with your daughter immediately because one, you're not on the birth certificate.
I just remember my heart just dropping into my stomach. 'Cause I was just going back to
when she was born and when I should have signed it.
So I was like. 'Well, there's no reason for me to even be here then.' And she goes 'Wait
a minute, you're the father; and so you have rights.'"
"Um, I think my blood went from here, to at least like right here. And um I was able to
listen to her. And after she told me I had rights she said, I can't reunify you but I
can set up visits right away. And um I needed that visit because I needed to let Bianca
know that I'm gonna, I'm coming through, I don't care what it takes. She was only two
at the time (laughs) but I needed to tell her that."
"Fathers really have all the rights that mothers have. Fathers have the rights to visit their
children if their not living with them. Fathers have the right to be involved in their children's
educational life, their medical life. They have the right to make decision as much as
mothers do. I don't know if fathers understand this."
"Our daughter was born healthy, um 6 ½ lbs. You know we were going to be discharged um
the social worker said you know I have to I have to make a report to CPS. I really thought
that we would be ok because um we had a safe place to live, a family transitional housing
unit run by Catholic Community Charities. You know we weren't able to take our daughter
home. They detained, they detained.
But that is the single most painful event of my life having to, to leave the hospital
and having to leave my daughter there at the hospital."
""We were, we were coming up against pretty quickly, we were, originally when our daughter
was detained and now she's living with relatives. She wasn't in our care so technically we were
not eligible for the transitional housing program. So they were saying unless you can
get 51% of custody. Unless you can get your daughter staying with you 51% of the time
you are not going to be able to continue to live here, any longer, and um it was coming
down to the point we were going to lose that housing and that was going to make it more
difficult for us to be able to, where were we to unify with our daughter if we were homeless."
(Unrecognizeable sounds of talking between Eli & Ashen with restaurant sounds in background.)
"We were, we were doing everything that we were supposed to be doing. We were in treatment,
we were in therapy, we were in couples therapy, um visiting with our daughter, you know, the
visits were going well. We were in dependency drug court, going regularly to our status
hearings, but still the argument was being made that um we should lose this housing."
(Ashen talking to her dad on the sidewalk as they wait for the bus. Unclear.)
" The judge ruled in favor of Eli, setting a precedent that would allow him to get the
housing he needed to reunify with his daughter." (Sounds of Eli & Ashen in background.)
"So, as I'm reunifying with my daughter, just this stuff is comin' at me and I'm just totally
blessed, you know. Homeless Prenatal Program is starting a Fatherhood Group, a fatherhood
group that they asked me to be a part of. Street sounds.
Joey is speaking to someone in the group (Barry). "I think one day you're going to come into
the group and let us know that she is her in the childcare. That's how I feel. That's
how I feel." "I FELT REALLY, REALLY PASSIONATE ABOUT IT
AT THIS POINT, like I'd already started to do a little bit. And I felt like,OK this is
something I want to do. This is something I THINK I COULD DO. Something I could help
people the way that I was helped. SO, I started volunteering at, at Homeless Prenatal Program
at September 2011 and so since then I've been co-facilitating the Fatherhood Group with
Joey Cordero. My position became um full time in August of 2012.
(Father) "Do I go by the court paper? Or just.." (Eli) "Yeah, well, it seems like there's a
document that says that this is the way the visits are supposed to happen and if they're
not happening that way. I mean." "The Fatherhood Group at Homeless Prenatal
Program is um a lot of dads that have CPS cases. We don't exclude dads that don't have
CPS cases, but a lot of it is just helping them navigate through the first process. Because
it's so traumatic for somebody in the beginning. And we see a lot of different things you know,
so the insight that comes from me and Eli is um, is really important."
(Joey talking to Barry) "I feel your frustration but at the same time I just want to encourage
you to just clean on that side; don't give up, stay clean."
"I was kind of scared of raising a child cause I didn't have the resources; And this place,
Homeless Prenatal has help me out a lot on how to be a father, father group. They showed
me and connected with networks of housing and daycare; all that kind of stuff. So I've
been working towards that; how to learn to get all that kind of stuff."
"My name is Barry my child is 5 years old. I'm checking in, I'm going to see her tomorrow.
"My daughter is staying with my sister right now. And um we been fighting the CPS for at
least, since 2010.
"Lets do the best work in the beginning so that in the end we don't uproot this child
from this community and place them and get them adopted somewhere"
"So I don't know how to lay it down." (He is talking about braiding daughter's hair)
"So it takes a minute to really be doing that.....I got me a few friends." (He motions his hand
to describe braiding motion.)...."
(Joey) "Okay, so now read the whole thing again." (Bianca) "Penny is the main character."
(Piano music in background.) "I had a difficult time. And I didn't realize
it was difficult until my lawyer goes, 'Wow, you know, this is, a big deal! We don't usually
see people reunify with their kids, let alone dads.'"
(Piano music in background.)
"If a little boy can see a man, a father who can show him the way men ought to act as opposed
to the way men sometimes act as far as drugs are concerned or domestic violence is concerned;
then that's all the better. And if that man has a little girl that little girl is going
to know this is the way she should be treated by men when she grows up. "
(Sounds of Eli talking to Ashen)
(Piano music in background) "Yeah, I mean I want fathers to know how important they
are to their kids. I want fathers to know that they are appreciated for what they are
doing. (Piano music in background.)
(Eli) "Now you have the medal on." (Ashen) "You win? Tell me all about it! (Eli) "Tell
you all about it? Well I was at an awards ceremony today where they gave me this medal. See where it says 'Champion in Recovery?'" (Ashen nods Yes) (Eli) "So, recovery means
See where it says 'Champion in Recovery?'" (Ashen nods Yes) (Eli) "So, recovery means when you get better. That's what I was given it for because I'm getting a lot better."
(Ashen) "Better at what?" (Eli) "Everything!" (Ashen) "Me too, huh." (Eli) "Yeah? You are!"
(Ashen says it though it is not very easy to hear) "Comprehension." (Eli) "Comprehension?"
You are getting better at comprehension. Just the fact that you can say 'comprehension'
is proof of that."