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[ NO SOUND ]
[ BEEP ]
[ RADIO CHATTER ]
>> CRAZY HORSE 1-1, ROGER.
TRAFFIC IS...
[ BEEP ]
[ HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYS ]
[ CRASHING ]
[ STATIC CRACKLES ]
>> Abel X-ray, Abel X-ray.
Long Knives.
6-5.
>> Able 5, over.
>> Able, this is Long Knife
aircraft doing the medevac.
Do you want this guy to go to
Speicher, over?
>> Long Knife pilot, this is
Pursuit 1-6.
Would you rather be
geographically, you know, one
side or another, or do you want
us to go up high and let you
have the low altitude?
>> If altitude works for us,
Convict, we'll just take this.
That's fine with us.
>> Oh. Sorry, Convict. Roger.
We'll, uh, go up a couple
hundred feet and hold that
altitude.
>> All right, Pursuit.
>> THOUSANDS OF AMERICAN
SOLDIERS RETURN FROM AFGHANISTAN
AND IRAQ WITH WHAT'S BEING
CALLED THE SIGNATURE WOUND OF
THOSE WARS.
>> BRAIN TRAUMA IS OFTEN CALLED
THE SIGNATURE INJURY OF THE WAR
IN IRAQ.
>> THE ARMY ESTIMATES UP TO 20%
OF SOLDIERS SERVING IN IRAQ AND
AFGHANISTAN GET TBI.
>> THE SIGNATURE INJURY OF THIS
WAR -- TRAUMATIC BRAIN INJURY.
>> 300,000 WHO SUFFER FROM
POSTTRAUMATIC STRESS.
320,000 WITH TRAUMATIC BRAIN
INJURY.
>> THE IDEA TO DO A FILM REALLY
CAME TO ME WHILE I WAS STILL IN
IRAQ.
IT WAS 2007, AND AT THAT POINT,
IMPROVISED EXPLOSIVE DEVICES HAD
REALLY BECOME THE SIGNATURE
WEAPON OF INSURGENTS, AND GUYS
IN MY BATTALION WERE BEING
EXPOSED TO BLASTS ON A DAILY
BASIS.
AND FOR THE MORE CATASTROPHIC
EVENTS, YOU KNOW, WE WOULD
EVACUATE THE SOLDIER
IMMEDIATELY, 'CAUSE THEIR
INJURIES WERE LIFE-THREATENING.
BUT MOST OF THE TIME, A GUY
WOULD GET BLOWN UP AND WALK AWAY
WITH JUST A CONCUSSION.
AND IT BECAME ONE OF THOSE
THINGS WHERE, BECAUSE YOU
WEREN'T BLEEDING, GUYS DIDN'T
REALLY TEND TO TAKE IT AS
SERIOUSLY.
AND THIS WENT ON FOR SEVERAL
MONTHS, AND WE BEGAN TO REALLY
NOTICE PROBLEMS WITH CERTAIN
GUYS, YOU KNOW, WITH THINGS LIKE
MEMORY AND CONCENTRATION, AND
ESPECIALLY BEHAVIORAL PROBLEMS.
AND THEN OUT OF NOWHERE, THE
ARMY CAME OUT WITH THIS HUGE
SCREENING AWARENESS CAMPAIGN,
LOOKING FOR CONCUSSIONS, BUT AT
THAT POINT, THEY WERE CALLING
THEM TRAUMATIC BRAIN INJURIES
INSTEAD OR "TBI," WHICH WAS
REALLY A NEW KIND OF ACRONYM TO
A LOT OF US.
[ MACHINE-GUN FIRE ]
[ GUNSHOTS ]
[ MACHINE-GUN FIRE ]
>> AAH!
[ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING ]
[ SIREN WAILS ]
>> WHEN WE RETURNED TO THE
STATES, THERE WERE A LOT OF
RUMORS GOING AROUND ABOUT WHAT
HAD HAPPENED TO THE GUYS THAT
WE'D EVACUATED.
AND AT THAT POINT, I BEGIN TO
MEET UP WITH SOME OF THESE GUYS
AND COULD DEFINITELY TELL THAT
THEY WERE STILL AFFECTED BY
THEIR INJURIES.
AND IT WAS SCARY BECAUSE I KNEW
WHO THEY WERE, YOU KNOW, BEFORE
ALL THIS HAPPENED, AND THEY
DEFINITELY WEREN'T THEMSELVES.
AND AT THAT POINT, BOTH THE
MILITARY AND THE MEDIA WERE
CALLING TRAUMATIC BRAIN INJURY
THE SIGNATURE INJURY OF THE WAR.
BUT NO ONE WAS REALLY TALKING
ABOUT MAYBE WHAT THE LONG-TERM
EFFECTS WERE OR IF THESE GUYS
WERE GONNA GET BETTER.
SO, I WAS GETTING OUT OF THE
ARMY AND JUST FELT COMPELLED TO
UNDERSTAND MORE ABOUT WHAT
HAPPENS.
I MEAN, THAT COULD HAVE EASILY
BEEN ME.
SO, I ASKED THE ARMY PERMISSION
TO FILM AT THEIR FLAGSHIP
HOSPITAL, THE BROOKE ARMY
MEDICAL CENTER IN SAN ANTONIO,
AND THE ARMY AGREED.
SO, I MOVED DOWN TO TEXAS AND
EVENTUALLY MET UP WITH THESE
FOUR SOLDIERS WHO WERE JUST
EVACUATED FROM COMBAT.
>> [ SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY ]
>> WHERE ARE YOU COMING FROM,
SIR?
>> IRAQ.
>> IRAQ.
THANK YOU, SIR.
>> DID YOU STRIKE YOUR HEAD?
>> I DON'T THINK SO.
>> OKAY.
WERE YOU DAZED OR CONFUSED?
>> LIKE I SAID, I DIDN'T FEEL
LIKE I WAS SCATTERBRAINED WHEN
IT IMMEDIATELY HAPPENED.
>> UH-HUH.
>> I STARTED NOTICING IT AFTER.
>> OKAY.
>> IF YOU WOULD HAVE ASKED ME
IMMEDIATELY AFTER IF I WAS OKAY,
I WOULD HAVE TOLD YOU I'M FINE.
>> OKAY.
HOW ARE YOU SLEEPING?
>> I WAKE UP QUITE A BIT.
>> YOU WAKE UP QUITE A BIT.
SO, NOT RESTFUL SLEEP, YOU WOULD
SAY?
>> NO.
AND THE BLAST WAS ACTUALLY
QUIETER...
>> GREAT.
>> ...THAN THE OTHER ONES.
>> I'M GONNA SAY A SERIES OF
WORDS, AND I WANT YOU TO REPEAT
THEM AFTER ME, OKAY?
PAPER, CANDLE, SUGAR, SANDWICH,
WAGON.
>> PAPER, CANDLE...
SANDWICH, WAGON?
>> PAPER, CANDLE, SUGAR,
SANDWICH, WAGON.
>> PAPER, CANDLE...
SANDWICH, SUGAR...
WAGON.
>> OKAY.
DO YOU KNOW THE MONTHS OF THE
YEAR?
>> YEAH, I'VE HAD TROUBLE WITH
THIS ONE.
>> OKAY.
YOU KNOW WHAT'S COMING NEXT.
CAN YOU SAY THEM FOR ME IN
REVERSE ORDER?
>> UM...
DECEMBER.
NOVEMBER.
[ CLOCK TICKING ]
>> OKAY. THAT'S ALL RIGHT.
YOU REALLY HAVE TO HAVE TWO
THINGS TO HAVE A MILD TRAUMATIC
BRAIN INJURY.
YOU HAVE TO HAVE AN EVENT.
IN YOUR CASE, YOUR EVENT WAS A
BLAST.
AND THE SECOND THING IS AN
ALTERATION OF CONSCIOUSNESS OF
SOME KIND.
DAZED, CONFUSED, YOUR BELL WAS
RUNG, STUNNED -- THERE'S A LOT
OF DIFFERENT DEFINITIONS.
I THINK YOU USED THE WORD "RUNG"
OR MAYBE I DID...
>> MM-HMM.
>> ...TO EXPRESS HOW YOU FELT
AFTER THE BLAST.
THAT VERY SMALL, BRIEF TIME
QUALIFIES YOU.
CONGRATULATIONS.
YOU HAVE A MILD BRAIN INJURY.
BUT A MILD BRAIN INJURY IS
ANOTHER WORD FOR CONCUSSION.
AND, UNFORTUNATELY, I DON'T HAVE
THAT MIRACLE PILL THAT I CAN
SAY, "TAKE THIS AND IT'LL MAKE
EVERYTHING BETTER," 'CAUSE IF WE
HAD ONE, I WOULD BE TAKING IT.
>> [ CHUCKLES ]
>> THEY DON'T EXIST, BUT WE DO
HAVE STRATEGIES AND THINGS THAT
YOU CAN DO TO HELP COMPENSATE
AND TO HELP YOUR MEMORY UNTIL
YOUR BODY IMPROVES.
>> DOES YOUR WIFE HAVE ANY
COMPLAINTS ABOUT YOU?
>> ALWAYS.
>> OH, WELL, THAT'S REALLY NOT A
FAIR QUESTION TO ASK.
>> UH...
NO.
I DON'T THINK SO.
>> OKAY. ANY DIZZINESS?
>> A LITTLE BIT.
>> HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU TOLD
THE SAME STORY?
>> I'VE LOST COUNT.
[ CHUCKLES ]
I WOULD SAY PROBABLY AT LEAST --
AT LEAST 10 TO 15 TIMES.
BUT...
[ HELICOPTER BLADES WHIRRING ]
[ MONITOR BEEPING ]
[ INSTRUMENT WHIRRING ]
>> SO, WE JUST MADE AN INCISION
OVER TOP OF THE PREEXISTING
LACERATION FROM WHEN THE PIECE
OF SHRAPNEL WENT INTO HIS
CHEEK.
WAS ABLE TO REMOVE THAT AND WENT
TO THE MOUTH AND MADE AN
INCISION INSIDE THE MOUTH.
PIECE OF SHRAPNEL THAT HAD
ENTERED IT THROUGH HIS CHIN,
THROUGH THE MENTALIS MUSCLE, AND
PUT A PRETTY BIG DENT IN THE
BONE.
>> I FEEL LIKE I JUST WOKE UP.
>> YOU DID JUST WAKE UP.
>> I DON'T EVEN...KNOW WHAT'S
GOING ON.
[ CHUCKLES ]
WOKE UP IN A HOSPITAL, AND
SOMEONE WAS LIKE, "HEY, WHAT'S
UP?
IT'S OVER."
WHAT?
>> SO, YOU THINK YOU WERE
CONFUSED FOR A MINUTE OR SO?
>> I WAS CONFUSED UNTIL ANOTHER
RPG HIT THE TRUCK AND I KNEW
EXACTLY WHERE I WAS.
>> OKAY.
>> SO...
>> WHAT ABOUT AFTER YOU HIT YOUR
HEAD ON THE STEERING WHEEL?
DID YOU STOP THE VEHICLE?
DID YOU -- THE VEHICLE KEPT
ROLLING?
>> ONE PENETRATOR HAD EXPLODED
IN THE ENGINE.
ONE EXPLODED UNDER MY SEAT.
ONE EXPLODED IN FRONT OF MY
LEGS.
I HAD SEVERAL ON MY DOOR,
A MORTAR ON THE TURRET,
AND THEN TWO IN THE BACK THAT
PUNCHED THROUGH AND EXPLODED
INSIDE.
>> OKAY.
[ KEYBOARD CLACKING ]
>> I THINK MAYBE WHAT A LOT OF
CIVILIANS DON'T REALIZE IS THAT
THEY HEAR RYAN'S STORY AND THAT
HIS VEHICLE WAS TOTALLY
DESTROYED, YET HE WALKED AWAY,
YOU KNOW, WITH ALL HIS LIMBS
INTACT.
I MEAN, THAT IS REALLY THE NORM
NOW IN AFGHANISTAN AND IRAQ.
AND IT'S BECAUSE OF THE
IMPROVEMENTS WE'VE MADE IN OUR
ARMOR.
I MEAN, I REMEMBER ON MY FIRST
TOUR IN RAMADI IN 2004, I MEAN,
RIDING AROUND THE CITY IN
CANVAS-DOORED HUMVEES AND NOT
REALLY THINKING ANYTHING OF IT.
AND WHEN I WENT BACK TO IRAQ IN
2007, I MEAN, YOU COULDN'T ROLL
OUT OF THE GATE IN ANYTHING LESS
THAN AN UP-ARMORED VEHICLE.
AND THE ARMOR IS AMAZING.
I MEAN, WE HAD TRUCKS THAT WERE
LITERALLY BLOWN UP IN THE AIR
AND BROKEN IN HALF, AND ALL THE
GUYS WOULD WALK AWAY FINE, OR I
GUESS WHAT WE THOUGHT WAS FINE
AT THE TIME.
SO, THE ARMOR'S DEFINITELY WHAT
HAS IMPROVED AND WHAT IS SAVING
LIVES.
BUT, YOU KNOW, WE IMPROVE OUR
ARMOR, AND THE NEXT DAY, THE
INSURGENTS COME OUT WITH A
BIGGER AND A BETTER BOMB.
[ NO SOUND ]
[ ORCHESTRAL MUSIC ]
[ RADIO CHATTER ]
>> OKAY, WE'RE VERY, VERY GOOD
AT STOPPING THE FRAGMENTS FROM
HITTING SOLDIERS OR SLOWING THEM
DOWN OR GUARDING AS BEST WE CAN,
BUT YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT
THE EXPLOSIVE BLAST, THE
CONCUSSIVE BLAST, THE SHOCK WAVE
THAT HITS THE VEHICLE AND GOES
THROUGH THE VEHICLE.
>> WHEN YOU WAKE UP AFTER A
CONCUSSION IN A COMBAT
SITUATION, IT'S VERY DIFFERENT.
BECAUSE YOUR, YOU KNOW,
INSTINCTS TAKE OVER.
IT'S NOT WAKING UP ON A SPORTING
EVENT FIELD, WHERE YOU WAKE UP,
YOU STAND UP, AND EVERYONE CLAPS
FOR YOU.
IT'S, UH, IT'S VERY DIFFERENT.
>> I DO THIS WHOLE REPEAT THING
IN MY HEAD, LIKE, WHEN I GOT TO
REMEMBER SOMETHING.
I DEFINITELY -- I DON'T WANT --
I DON'T HAVE A PEN OR SOMETHING
TO WRITE IT DOWN.
I DO THAT WHOLE, LIKE, YOU KNOW,
REPEAT IT, LIKE FIVE OR SIX
TIMES IN MY HEAD.
LET'S SAY I GOT TO GO PICK UP
SOME MEDICATION.
I'LL BE LIKE, "GO PICK UP
MEDICATION.
GO GET THE MEDICATION.
GO GET THE MEDICATION.
GET THE MEDICATION."
>> AND THAT HELPS.
WHAT JOB ARE YOU GONNA TRY TO
GET INTO WHEN YOU GET OUT?
>> GET OUT OF WHERE?
>> THE MILITARY.
>> I'M NOT GETTING OUT THE
MILITARY.
[ CHUCKLES ]
>> TONIGHT WE TAKE YOU TO A
PASSAGE IN EASTERN AFGHANISTAN
THAT HAS BECOME AN AL-QAEDA AND
TALIBAN STRONGHOLD.
IT'S A TEMPORARY HOME TO
BRAVO COMPANY, 126th INFANTRY.
>> THE 150 SOLDIERS OF
VIPER COMPANY CALL IT
THE VALLEY OF DEATH.
IN JUST THREE MONTHS, SIX OF
VIPER'S SOLDIERS HAVE BEEN
KILLED HERE, 18 INJURED.
[ MACHINE-GUN FIRE ]
[ INDISTINCT SHOUTING ]
>> KEEP LOW! KEEP *** LOW!
[ MACHINE-GUN FIRE ]
>> GO!
COME ON, COME ON, COME ON!
[ MACHINE-GUN FIRE ]
[ EXPLOSION ]
>> I JUST WALK THIS WAY.
I THINK IT'S SHORTER.
BUT, ANYWAYS, LIKE, I FIRST GOT
OUT OF THE HOSPITAL, LIKE, I HAD
SO MUCH OTHER STUFF, LIKE,
PHYSICALLY WRONG WITH ME THAT
PEOPLE DIDN'T REALLY NOTICE THE
WHOLE MEMORY DEAL.
MY BUDDY, YOUNG, HE HAD TO TELL
ME ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED TO ME,
LIKE, A BUNCH OF TIMES.
LIKE, HE KEPT HAVING TO TELL ME.
AND I KEPT THINKING IN MY
MIND -- I DON'T KNOW WHY I KEPT
GOING BACK IN MIND, THAT, LIKE,
I DROVE -- I DROVE OFF THE SIDE
OF A MOUNTAIN OR SOMETHING.
THAT'S WHAT I KEPT THINKING.
I THINK I HAD DROVE OFF THE SIDE
OF A MOUNTAIN, YOU KNOW, LIKE...
I DON'T KNOW.
IT WAS JUST WEIRD.
I COULDN'T REMEMBER.
>> THE LAST THING THAT I CAN
REMEMBER, SERGEANT *** HAD
TURNED TO LOOK AT ME, AND I
THINK HE WAS GONNA SAY SOMETHING
ELSE ABOUT HOLLINS ALMOST
RUNNING OFF THE ROAD.
AND...THAT'S THE LAST --
LAST THING I REMEMBER BEFORE
SERGEANT TRUDELL WAS DOWN, HAD
AHOLD OF MY JACKET, TRYING TO
RIP EVERYTHING OFF OF ME.
[ EXPLOSION, CRASHING ]
[ RADIO CHATTER ]
>> IT WAS BASICALLY JUST
COMPLETE CARNAGE.
I'VE -- I'VE DONE A TOUR IN IRAQ
PREVIOUS BEFORE THAT, AND I'VE
SEEN WHAT IEDs DO TO VEHICLES,
AND THIS WAS SOMETHING I'VE
NEVER, EVER, EVER SEEN BEFORE.
I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING -- AN
EXPLOSION DO THIS TO A HUMVEE.
>> THE WHOLE RIGHT SIDE OF THE
TRUCK WAS GONE.
THE ROOF WAS GONE.
TRUNK LID GOT BLOWN OFF.
THE WHOLE FRONT OF THE TRUCK WAS
GONE.
>> AND IT BLEW UP RIGHT UNDER
THE TCC WHERE SERGEANT *** WAS
SITTING.
HE WAS KILLED INSTANTLY.
HE WAS BLOWN TO PIECES ALL OVER
THE SIDE OF THE MOUNTAIN.
GONZALES -- HE WAS A GUNNER --
WAS LAUNCHED FROM HIS TURRET AND
BASICALLY THE LOWER EXTREMITIES
OF HIS BODY WERE NEVER FOUND.
>> Able 5, Range 6, medevac bird
just lifted off.
En route to Speicher.
>> HOLLINS WAS BLOWN ALL THE WAY
DOWN INTO THE DRAW, WHICH WAS
PROBABLY ABOUT 30 FEET STRAIGHT
DOWN.
THE FORCE OF THE BLAST,
BASICALLY, ALL IT DID WAS MADE
HIS BODY OPEN UP A 300-POUND
ARMORED DOOR AND LAUNCHED HIM
STRAIGHT DOWNHILL UNTIL HE HIT
THE GROUND.
>> WHEN I CAME UP ON HOLLINS, HE
WAS ON HIS KNEES.
HIS K-POT WAS STILL ON, HAD ALL
OF HIS ARMOR ON.
HE JUST -- IT WAS LIKE SOMETHING
OUT OF A BAD WAR MOVIE.
HE WAS JUST KIND OF SITTING
THERE IN A COMPLETE DAZE.
>> THERE'S NOT REALLY MUCH
DIFFERENCE IN HIM.
HE SEEMS A LITTLE BIT MORE
DEPRESSED THAN HE USED TO BE,
BUT THAT'S KIND OF WHAT GOES
ALONG WITH BEING DEPLOYED AND
WHAT WE'VE BEEN THROUGH.
>> SERGEANT *** WAS MY SQUAD
LEADER.
HE BECAME LIKE A SECOND FATHER.
MY FATHER PASSED IN JANUARY LAST
YEAR, AND HE HELPED ME GET OVER
THAT A LOT.
HE HELPED ME WITH A LOT OF
THINGS, AND HE WAS -- HE WAS
ALWAYS THERE.
HIM AND HIS WIFE.
I COULD REALLY DEPEND ON HIM FOR
A LOT, LIKE...
LIKE WHEN -- 'CAUSE IT WAS MY
FIRST DEPLOYMENT.
I DIDN'T KNOW A LOT OF STUFF.
I STILL DON'T KNOW A LOT OF
STUFF, AND HE TAUGHT ME A LOT OF
THINGS ABOUT JUST REGULAR ARMY
STUFF AND REGULAR LIFE STUFF.
LIKE, SOME DAYS I STILL CATCH
MYSELF JUST THINKING ABOUT HIM
AND GETTING, LIKE, REAL, REAL
SAD.
IT'S A...
LIKE, LONG ROAD, BUT IT'S COOL.
GETTING ON DOWN THE ROAD.
[ CHUCKLES ]
>> ONE OF THE BIGGEST PROBLEMS
MY BATTALION FACED WHILE WE WERE
DEPLOYED WAS ACTUALLY GETTING
GUYS TO ADMIT THAT THEY WERE
HAVING PROBLEMS AFTER A BLAST OR
AFTER HAVING A CONCUSSION.
I MEAN, YOU KNOW, WE HAD A LOT
OF GUYS IN OUR UNIT THAT
ACTUALLY BRAGGED ABOUT
MEMORIZING THE CONCUSSION TEST
SO THEY COULD AVOID BEING
EVACUATED.
AND I THINK THERE'S DEFINITELY A
TOUGH-GUY SYNDROME IN THE
MILITARY, AND GUYS DON'T WANT TO
BE SENT HOME FOR INVISIBLE
INJURIES.
BUT, YOU KNOW, I ALSO THINK THAT
JUST THE GUILT THAT COMES WITH
LEAVING YOUR BUDDIES BEHIND, I
THINK THAT GUILT IS WORSE THAN
THE IMMEDIATE SYMPTOMS OF A
CONCUSSION.
PLUS, YOU HAVE PILLS PRESCRIBED
FOR HEADACHE, FOR SLEEPLESSNESS,
FOR STRESS, THAT CAN KEEP
EVERYTHING SUBDUED.
SO, YOU GET BLOWN UP, YOU TAKE A
COUPLE DAYS OFF, AND THEN YOU'RE
BACK ON THE MISSION.
>> [ SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY ]
THE GUY I'M GONNA HAND THE
CAMERA TO...
>> ...DECIDED IT WOULD BE A HARD
THING TO DESCRIBE THE
DESTRUCTION OF THIS PLACE.
SO WE WILL NOW SHOW YOU WHAT
FALLUJAH LOOKS LIKE.
>> ARE YOU RECORDING RIGHT NOW?
>> YEAH.
>> OH, COOL.
[ GUNSHOTS ]
>> HEY!
[ MACHINE-GUN FIRE ]
>> IT WAS HIT BEHIND US.
>> HEY!
I'M COMING AROUND THE CORNER!
>> RIGHT THERE.
>> YOU GOT TO MOVE.
>> FIRE IN THE HOLE!
>> FIRE IN THE HOLE!
>> COME ON, COME ON!
>> IT'S GOT TO BE UP HERE.
[ MACHINE-GUN FIRE ]
>> HEY, WE GOT TO GET AROUND TO
EVERYBODY ELSE.
WE CAN'T SIT RIGHT HERE.
>> [ SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY ]
[ SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE ]
>> 653, go ahead.
>> They're waiting on
confirmation that we have no
friendly units east of the palm
grove.
[ GUNFIRE ]
>> YOU KNOW, ONE OF THE HARDEST
THINGS WITH THAT -- I JUST
DIDN'T SLEEP.
THEY GAVE US AMBIEN.
THEY GAVE US EVERYTHING, YOU
KNOW, TO TRY TO MAKE US SLEEP,
AND WE WENT ON WITH THE MISSION,
BUT WHEN WE GOT BACK, I SORT OF
FELT, "WELL, IT'LL BLOW OVER,
YOU KNOW?"
AND I TRIED TO GO TO THE
AIRBORNE REFRESHER COURSE.
AND WE WERE STANDING OUT THERE,
AND THEY CALLED -- THEY, LIKE,
CALLED OUT FIVE NAMES AND ONE OF
THEM WAS MINE.
AND WE WENT UP THERE, AND THEY
WERE LIKE, "YOU ALL KNOW YOU'RE
NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE.
YOU, YOU KNOW, YOU NEED TO BE
GOING THROUGH THE PROCESSING AND
GOING OUT AND GOING TO MED HOLD
INSTEAD OF TRYING TO, YOU KNOW,
GO TO JUMP MASTER SCHOOL."
I DON'T THINK I REALLY
UNDERSTOOD THAT IT WAS GOING TO
BE SOMETHING THAT STAYED WITH ME
FOR SO LONG.
I THOUGHT IT WAS GONNA BE, "HEY,
I GOT TWO WEEKS OF HEADACHES."
BUT, YOU KNOW, I WENT...
LIKE A YEAR WHERE I DIDN'T
SLEEP.
MAYBE, YOU KNOW, TWO, THREE
HOURS AT A TIME MAYBE, YOU KNOW?
AND THAT WAS WITH THE HELP OF
AMBIEN.
>> AND YOU HAVE A LITTLE BIT OF
INFLAMMATION AROUND WHAT WE CALL
THE ETHMOIDS.
THESE ARE THE ETHMOIDS.
>> OKAY, YEAH, IT WAS JUST THE
ONE UNDER THE -- WHICH WOULD
HAVE BEEN, LIKE, RIGHT IN THERE?
IS THAT WHERE IT WAS?
>> IT'S GONNA BE RIGHT UP HERE.
>> OH, OKAY. OKAY.
>> YEAH. SO...
BUT OTHERWISE, YOUR ETHMOID ARE
FINE, SO, I THINK THESE ARE JUST
SMALL ABNORMALITIES.
I DON'T THINK THEY SHOULD CAUSE
TOO MUCH QUALITY-OF-LIFE ISSUES.
I THINK IF YOU'RE BREATHING
OKAY, YOU'RE NOT HAVING A LOT OF
SINUS PRESSURE, AND MOST OF THE
TIME, PEOPLE COMPLAIN OF, YOU
KNOW, EYE PAIN OR RIGHT BETWEEN
THE EYES.
BUT...
>> NOW, HAVE YOU LOOKED AT YOUR
HEADACHE MEDICATIONS?
>> HE WANTED TO TRY A LITTLE
SOMETHING ELSE.
>> THE PROPRANOLOL.
>> DID YOU PICK IT UP FROM THE
PHARMACY?
>> I DID.
>> AND YOU'VE BEEN TAKING IT?
>> I HAVE.
>> OKAY, AND HOW IS THAT
WORKING?
>> IT SEEMS TO BE FINE.
HE SAID IT'S GOING TO TAKE
PROBABLY ABOUT A MONTH.
>> OKAY. GOAL?
>> A MEDICAL GOAL?
>> MM-HMM.
>> I WOULD LIKE TO GET RID OF
THESE HEADACHES AND GET THIS
NECK SO I CAN TURN MY HEAD TO
CHANGE LANES.
>> THE SYMPTOMS CAN VARY GREATLY
FROM SOLDIER TO SOLDIER, BUT
MOST OF THESE GUYS ARE REPORTING
A COMBINATION OF SEVERE
HEADACHES, CHRONIC PAIN, AND
SLEEPLESSNESS.
THERE'S ALSO JUST AN OVERALL
DAZED FEELING THAT THEY'RE ALL
HAVING, SO THEY'RE HAVING
PROBLEMS WITH MEMORY,
CONCENTRATION, SPEECH, AND
LANGUAGE.
AND I THINK WHAT'S REALLY
FRUSTRATING TO A LOT OF THESE
GUYS IS THAT YOU CAN HAVE ALL
THESE PROBLEMS, BUT THERE'S NO
REAL WAY TO PINPOINT WHY YOU'RE
HAVING THEM, SO DOCTORS WILL
GIVE YOU AN MRI, LOOKING FOR
DAMAGE, BUT IT ALMOST ALWAYS
COMES BACK NEGATIVE.
THEY CAN'T REALLY SEE WHY YOU'RE
HAVING ANY PROBLEMS.
AND THE MORE I TALKED WITH
DOCTORS AT THE HOSPITAL, THE
MORE I LEARNED ABOUT THE DOZENS
OF STUDIES THAT WERE UNDER WAY
THERE AT BAMC AND AT OTHER
MILITARY HOSPITALS THAT WERE
TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT THE
EXACT MECHANISM OF INJURY IS AND
WHY ARE GUYS HAVING PROBLEMS,
BUT, UNFORTUNATELY, THERE'S NOT
REALLY A CONSENSUS AMONGST
MILITARY OR CIVILIAN DOCTORS ON
WHAT IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING AND
WHY GUYS ARE HAVING CERTAIN
SYMPTOMS AND WHAT THE LONG-TERM
EFFECTS MIGHT EVEN BE.
20,000 MORE U.S. TROOPS ARE
ON THEIR WAY TO AFGHANISTAN IN
THE NEXT FEW MONTHS.
>> [ SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY ]
>> CAN I HAVE MY HEAD UP A
LITTLE BIT?
OR DOES IT HAVE TO LIE FLAT LIKE
THAT?
>> RATHER THAN THERE BEING
ACTUAL STRUCTURAL DAMAGE OR
DISRUPTION, WE THINK IT BECOMES
DYSFUNCTIONAL.
[ MACHINE WHIRRING ]
IT'S LIKE THE -- THE PAPERS
HAVE ALL BEEN THROWN UP IN THE
ROOM RATHER THAN THEY'VE BEEN
RIPPED UP AND SHREDDED.
>> TORREY, ARE YOU OKAY?
>> Yes, sir.
>> OKAY, I'M GONNA START THE
FIRST ONE.
>> WE REALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT WE
CAN DO TO HELP THESE INDIVIDUALS
RECOVER, GET BETTER.
WE DO KNOW WHAT WE CAN DO TO
HELP THEM COPE WITH AND
COMPENSATE FOR THESE
DIFFICULTIES.
>> YOU'RE GONNA GO TO THE RIGHT
OVER HERE.
AND THEN WE'LL GO RIGHT.
I'M A SPEECH PATHOLOGIST, AND
ONE OF THE THINGS THAT WE LOOK
AT AND YOU'RE GONNA BE TESTED ON
TODAY IS YOUR COGNITIVE
COMMUNICATIVE ABILITY.
WELL, THOSE ARE JUST FANCY WORDS
TO REALLY LOOK AT HOW THE
BRAIN'S FUNCTIONING.
TAKE A LOOK AT THAT RIGHT THERE
AND JUST COPY IT ONTO THERE.
SO, THE NEXT THING WE'LL DO IS
I'M GONNA SHOW YOU SOME
PICTURES.
JUST TELL ME WHAT THE PICTURE
IS.
FOR EXAMPLE, THIS IS A...
>> CHAIR.
PENCIL.
PAIR OF PLIERS.
TRUMPET.
UH...
CLOTHESPIN.
>> THERE YOU GO.
>> THIS THING -- THESE TESTS
HAVE REALLY BEEN FRUSTRATING ME
BECAUSE I KNOW, BEFORE THIS, I
WOULD HAVE ACED THEM.
I MEAN, THAT'S PART OF MY JOB,
IS, YOU KNOW, ATTENTION TO
DETAILS.
THAT ONE -- THE DRAWING ONE, FOR
SURE.
THERE'S NO REASON I SHOULD HAVE
MISSED THAT.
I CATCH MYSELF LISTENING AND
JUST, LIKE, ZONING OUT, GOING
INTO MY OWN LITTLE --
LITTLE PLACE.
AND IT'S NOT A PLACE.
IT'S JUST --
[ ELEVATOR BELL DINGS ]
I HAVE TO KEEP CATCHING MYSELF
AND SAYING, "NO, PAY ATTENTION.
PAY ATTENTION. PAY ATTENTION."
>> HUSTLE! OWN IT!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
[ SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY ]
HUSTLE! HUSTLE!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> BEFORE DEPLOYMENT, SOLDIERS
GO THROUGH MONTHS OF TRAINING,
AND, YOU KNOW, THEY'RE REALLY AT
THEIR PEAK MENTAL AND PHYSICAL
CONDITION.
SO, WHEN YOU HAVE A BRAIN INJURY
AND YOU COME BACK AND THE MOST
SIMPLE TASKS SEEM INCREDIBLY
DIFFICULT, AND THAT IS REALLY
HARD FOR A LOT OF THESE GUYS TO
DEAL WITH.
AND I THINK, ALSO, WHETHER
SOLDIERS WANT TO ADMIT IT OR
NOT, THEY'RE ALSO DEALING WITH
SOME DEGREE OF POSTTRAUMATIC
STRESS.
I MEAN, THIS IS A COMBAT INJURY,
SO EVEN BEFORE YOU'RE BLOWN UP,
YOU'RE EXPERIENCING MONTHS OF
PROLONGED VIOLENCE AND SLEEP
DEPRAVATION AND STRESS.
AND DOCTORS WERE ACTUALLY
TELLING ME THAT, YOU KNOW,
YOU'RE ACTUALLY BATHING YOUR
BRAIN IN ALL THESE HORMONES AND
ADRENALINE THAT YOU'RE NORMALLY
NOT USED TO.
AND THIS IS ACTUALLY CHANGING
YOUR THINKING PATTERNS.
SO, IT'S CHANGING THE WAY YOU
REACT TO NOISES, TO STIMULUS, TO
SOCIAL SITUATIONS.
AND, SO, I THINK, YOU KNOW,
WHETHER A SOLDIER WANTS TO ADMIT
IT OR NOT, THEY -- YOU KNOW, A
LOT OF THESE GUYS ACTUALLY HAVE
TWO INJURIES.
THEY HAVE, YOU KNOW, THE
CONCUSSION, AND THEY HAVE SOME
LEVEL OF POSTTRAUMATIC STRESS.
>> ALL RIGHT.
TELL ME, WHY'D THEY SEND YOU TO
SEE ME?
>> UH...
PART OF MY, UH, TBI IS I GOT
REALLY BAD PTSD.
>> OH, YEAH?
>> YEAH.
>> WOW.
>> REALLY BAD.
SO, I DON'T SLEEP VERY MUCH.
>> WOW.
>> I AM ALWAYS ON GUARD, AND
IT'S JUST REALLY STARTING TO
WEAR DOWN.
>> AND THEY GAVE YOU SOME
SEROQUEL FOR THE, UH...
>> YES, SIR.
>> FOR TO PUT YOU TO SLEEP?
>> YEAH, TRY TO KEEP ME ASLEEP.
>> ARE THEY DOING ANYTHING FOR
YOUR NIGHTMARES?
>> UM, THAT'S WHAT THEY TOLD ME
THE SEROQUEL WAS FOR --
TO HELP WITH THE NIGHTMARES, AND
THEN I TAKE ZOLOFT AND BUSPAR.
>> MM-HMM.
>> SO...
>> FOR SOME OF THE ANXIETY KINDS
OF THINGS THAT ARE GOING ON WITH
YOU?
>> YEAH.
>> OKAY.
HAS THE SEROQUEL IMPROVED THE
NIGHTMARES?
>> UH, NOT REALLY.
>> HOW DO YOU DO WITH CROWDS?
>> NOT GOOD.
>> NOT GOOD. OKAY.
HOW DO YOU DO WITH CROWDED
ELEVATORS?
>> I ALWAYS GOT TO HAVE MY BACK
TO SOMETHING IF I'M STANDING
THERE.
PEOPLE FLYING BY ME AND ALWAYS
LOOKING ON THE SIDES OF THE
ROADS AND ALWAYS LOOKING AT
PEOPLE'S WINDOWS, COUNTING
PEOPLE, AND, YEAH, LIKE, THERE'S
A LOT OF STUFF THAT I JUST --
I DON'T FEEL NORMAL ANYMORE.
LIKE, I CAN'T DEAL WITH LITTLE
KIDS.
CAN'T EVEN BE AROUND THEM.
>> IT'S CLEAR TO ME THAT YOU'RE
SUFFERING FROM THE EFFECTS OF
WHAT YOU'VE BEEN THROUGH.
OKAY?
MANY GUYS COME BACK, AND THEY'RE
HAVING THE KINDS OF PROBLEMS
THAT YOU DESCRIBE.
THEY DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT
THEM 'CAUSE THEY THINK IT MAKES
THEM SEEM WEAK.
WHAT I'D LIKE TO DO IS GIVE YOU
SOME TOOLS FOR YOU TO USE THAT
YOU HAVE ALL THE TIME, READILY
AVAILABLE TO YOU, OKAY?
TO -- I WON'T SAY TAKE AWAY,
OKAY, SOME OF THE FEELINGS THAT
YOU'RE HAVING, BUT GIVE YOU SOME
CONTROL OVER THEM IN THE SENSE
THAT YOU CAN KIND OF TAMP THEM
DOWN...
>> YEAH.
>> ...WHEN THEY OCCUR.
'CAUSE RIGHT NOW, THE TOOLS THAT
YOU GOT ARE CHEMICAL.
>> YEAH.
>> RIGHT?
YOU GOT THE PILLS THAT WE
PRESCRIBED FOR YOU, RIGHT?
AND FROM TIME TO TIME, YOU
GOT...
>> ***.
>> YOU GOT BACARDí.
>> YEAH.
>> RIGHT?
AND THE OTHER STUFF, AND ALL
THAT STUFF IS PRETTY TEMPORARY.
>> YEAH.
>> ALL RIGHT, NOW, I'VE ASKED
YOU A LOT OF QUESTIONS, TOLD YOU
A LOT OF STUFF.
DO YOU HAVE QUESTIONS OF ME?
>> HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN DOING
THIS?
>> [ LAUGHS ]
[ Laughing ] I WAS LICENSED IN
1981, OKAY?
>> [ LAUGHS ]
>> ALL RIGHT.
SO I'VE BEEN DOING THIS AWHILE.
>> HEY.
>> WE'RE GONNA SEE MY PILL BOX.
VERY GOOD.
>> I'M GONNA PICK THE --
>> TELL ME ABOUT IT.
>> SOMETIMES I THINK ABOUT NOT
SAYING CERTAIN THINGS.
LIKE, WHEN THEY ASK ME, "SO, HOW
LONG DID YOU SLEEP LAST NIGHT,
SEAN?"
SOMETIMES I JUST WANT TO SAY
EIGHT HOURS, YOU KNOW?
EVEN THOUGH I DIDN'T SLEEP EIGHT
HOURS, I WANT TO SAY IT, JUST
TO -- JUST TO MOVE ON THE
PROCESS, JUST TO LEAVE HERE.
THEN I WONDER ABOUT, YOU KNOW,
MAYBE I SHOULD TELL THEM THE
TRUTH SO I COULD, YOU KNOW, SEE
WHAT'S GOING ON, BUT THEN THAT
END UP BACKFIRING ON YOU, 'CAUSE
THEY SAY, "HEY, LET'S GIVE YOU
SOME MORE MEDICATION."
YOU KNOW?
>> ARE YOU HAVING HEADACHES?
>> NO.
>> DIZZINESS?
>> NO.
>> LIGHTHEADEDNESS?
>> NO.
>> ANY FAINTING EPISODES...
>> NOPE.
>> ...SINCE I'VE SEEN YOU?
>> NO.
>> ARE YOU HAVING ANY
NIGHTMARES?
>> NOPE.
[ MOUSE CLICKING ]
>> ANY PROBLEMS AT ALL?
>> NOPE.
PEACHY.
>> THESE THINGS ARE NOT GONNA
KEEP YOU HERE LONGER IF YOU
ALLOW US TO LOOK INTO IT
CLINICALLY AND SAY YOU'RE GOOD
TO GO.
BUT IF YOU KEEP DENYING SYMPTOMS
AND THEN WE FIND THEM
INCIDENTALLY, YES, IT'S GONNA
TAKE EVEN LONGER.
I JUST FEEL LIKE I NEED TO TELL
YOU THAT WE ARE HERE TO GET YOU
BACK TO DUTY, IF THAT'S YOUR
DESIRE, OKAY?
WE'RE NOT HERE TO KEEP YOU FROM
RETURNING TO YOUR UNIT OR TO
KEEP YOU HERE IN THE WTU.
>> IT JUST SEEMS THAT WAY.
THAT'S JUST THE OVERALL DEAL.
>> THAT'S NOT A GOOD PERCEPTION,
BECAUSE WE'RE --
>> THAT IS THE FOCUS OF MOST
APPOINTMENTS.
YOU KNOW?
AND YOU JUST AUTOMATICALLY
ASSUME.
THEY AUTOMATICALLY ASSUME.
"WELL, IED," YOU KNOW?
YOU KNOW?
AND THERE'S MORE THINGS -- I CAN
TELL YOU FROM STEP ONE TO THE
LAST STEP ON HOW TO GET OUT OF
THE ARMY.
THAT'S HOW MANY BRIEFINGS I'VE
BEEN TO.
YOU KNOW HOW MANY BRIEFINGS I'VE
BEEN TO ABOUT HOW TO STAY IN THE
ARMY?
NOT ONE.
NOT ONE.
>> AND EVERYBODY'S...
>> I THINK I COULD LEAVE HERE
RIGHT NOW AND BE FINE.
LIKE, MS. CUMMINGS, SHE'S JUST
TOO -- TOO DOCTOR-ISH FOR ME,
YOU KNOW?
EVERYTHING -- SHE'S, LIKE,
TRYING TO MAKE, LIKE, A PERFECT
PERSON -- YOU KNOW, I WASN'T
PERFECT BEFORE I GOT BLOWN UP.
I'M NOT GONNA BE PERFECT NOW,
YOU KNOW?
>> AND WE WERE GONNA DISCUSS
YOUR SLEEP, AS WELL, DURING THIS
VISIT.
ARE YOU STARTING -- ARE YOU
TAKING THE TRAZODONE AS
PRESCRIBED?
>> WHAT DO YOU MEAN "AS
PRESCRIBED"?
LIKE, AS PRESCRIBED --
>> WHAT IT SAYS ON THE BOTTLE.
>> "AS PRESCRIBED" BEING, LIKE,
TAKE IT AT NIGHT EVERY NIGHT?
OR TAKE IT AT NIGHT...EVERY ONCE
IN AWHILE?
>> THE BOTTLE SAID, "TAKE AT
NIGHT EVERY NIGHT."
SO YOU'RE NOT?
>> NO.
>> ALL RIGHT.
>> BUT THE ONLY REASON I DON'T
IS I JUST -- I'M NOT A BIG FAN
OF A LOT OF MEDICATIONS LIKE
THAT.
SOME GUYS, THEY TAKE ALL THAT
CRAZY MEDICATION, YOU KNOW?
THEY TAKE EVERYTHING THE DOCTOR
GIVE THEM, AND THEY LOOK HIGH
ALL THE TIME.
THEY LOOK LIKE ZOMBIES, YOU
KNOW?
THEY'RE NOT THEM.
THEY'RE NOT THEIRSELVES.
YOU KNOW, I DIDN'T KNOW THEM
BEFORE THEY GOT HURT, YOU KNOW?
I JUST MET THEM HERE, BUT THEY
LOOK -- THEY LOOK LIKE
CRACKHEADS, YOU KNOW?
LIKE, THEY'RE NOT SKINNY OR
ANYTHING LIKE A CRACKHEAD, BUT,
YOU KNOW, LIKE, THAT GLASSY
FACE -- LIKE ZOMBIES, YOU KNOW?
AND -- AND THEN YOU GOT SOME
GUYS WHO JUST, YOU KNOW, ARE
LIKE ME, WHO JUST SAY, "I'M
JUST GONNA DO WHAT I DO, YOU
KNOW?
IF I FEEL LIKE I GOT TO TAKE IT,
I'M GONNA TAKE IT.
IF I DON'T, I'M NOT, YOU KNOW?"
>> YOU TEND TO BE IN A TIPPED
POSITION.
THERE YOU GO.
THAT'S PROBABLY PART OF THE EAR
THING.
HE'S HAVING SOME PROBLEMS
GETTING THE INFORMATION FROM THE
NECK TO THE BRAIN.
IT'S NOT QUITE ACCURATE.
>> THEY BELIEVE THAT BECAUSE THE
NECK'S HOLDING MY HEAD AT A
DIFFERENT ANGLE, IT'S MAKING THE
VESTIBULAR ISSUES WORSE BECAUSE
MY BODY DOESN'T KNOW WHERE MY
HEAD IS EXACTLY.
YEAH, I TOOK A LOT OF PERCOCETS.
YOU KNOW, I DON'T THINK THE PAIN
MEDS DID MUCH FOR IT BECAUSE IT
JUST SORT OF -- I DON'T KNOW --
IT JUST DIDN'T DO ANYTHING.
MADE YOU HIGH AND...
MADE YOU ITCH, BUT THAT WAS
ABOUT IT.
WELL, I'VE GOT THAT ONE HANDOUT
WITH THE --
>> YEAH, THE VESTIBULAR --
>> YOU KNEW THEY WERE COMING
HOME AND YOU'RE OUT THERE ON
THE, YOU KNOW, TARMAC, AND YOU
CAN SEE THE -- YOU KNOW, YOU GET
TO WATCH THE PLANE LAND, AND
THEY WALK OUT AND...
YOU KNOW, THEY MARCH IN, AND
IT'S TERRIBLE BECAUSE THEY HAVE
THEM STANDING IN FRONT OF YOU,
BUT YOU CAN'T GO HUG THEM JUST
YET.
AND THEY KIND OF SAY SOME --
SOME KIND WORDS, AND THEN JUST
LET US GO, AND IT'S JUST, YOU
KNOW, COMPLETE MAYHEM THAT THE
TWO CROWDS JUST COMPLETELY CRUSH
TOGETHER, AND, YOU KNOW, AND
JUST GRAB HIM AND HUG HIM.
AND JUST TO KNOW THAT HE WAS
HOME AND OKAY WAS ABSOLUTELY
INCREDIBLE.
I STARTED TO NOTICE JUST HIS
EASE IN FRUSTRATION, I GUESS,
AND NOT NECESSARILY AT ME, BUT
JUST IN GENERAL, AND WAS
DEFINITELY MUCH MORE EASILY
AGITATED AND FORGETFUL.
AND I WOULD NOTICE THAT, WHEN HE
WOULD LEAVE IN THE MORNING, THAT
HE WOULD LEAVE THE FRONT DOOR,
LIKE, WIDE OPEN.
LIKE, HE WOULD FORGET TO CLOSE
THE DOOR BEHIND HIM WHEN HE
LEFT, AND LEAVING OVENS ON AND
JUST LITTLE, YOU KNOW, LITTLE
THINGS THAT, YOU KNOW, HE'S
STARTING TO BE VERY FORGETFUL.
'CAUSE I JUST -- I DIDN'T KNOW
THAT IT WOULD CAUSE SO MANY
PROBLEMS LATER.
I HAD NO IDEA THAT THIS IS WHAT
IT WOULD TURN INTO, AND...
>> YEAH, I MEAN, SOME OF THE
GUYS, YOU KNOW, REALLY DON'T
UNDERSTAND THAT THEY'RE DONE.
UM, YOU KNOW?
AND, I MEAN, I KNOW GUYS CAN
COME BACK FROM SOME INJURIES,
BUT, YOU KNOW, I HAD A GUY WHO
WAS, YOU KNOW, ALL UPSET, WHO --
THERE'S NO WAY HE COULD DO HIS
JOB OR HARDLY ANYTHING ELSE IN
THE ARMY, AND HE JUST COULDN'T
QUITE UNDERSTAND.
>> CAN YOU LET YOUR ROOMMATE
KNOW THAT I'M HERE?
>> JAMESON.
>> I DON'T KNOW WHAT JAMESON IS.
IS THAT LIQUOR?
>> JAMESON IS IRISH LIQUOR.
>> OKAY.
>> AND HER NAME IS
JENNA JAMESON.
SHE'S A *** STAR.
SO, I GOT 'EM TOGETHER.
>> THERE YOU GO.
I SEE THE CONNECTION.
TELL ME ABOUT YOUR PILL BOX.
HOW DO YOU ARRANGE THEM?
>> I USUALLY ARRANGE THEM ON
MONDAY.
>> SO, HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT TO
TAKE AND WHEN?
>> BECAUSE I KNOW I TAKE THAT.
I TAKE THAT.
[ PILLS RATTLING ]
I DON'T TAKE THAT.
>> STACK YOUR STUFF UP RIGHT
THERE, AND THEN YOU CAN THROW
ALL OF IT AWAY.
YOU WANT TO GO THROUGH SOME MORE
OF THAT?
>> WHAT KIND OF PAIN?
>> LEG PAIN, FOOT PAIN, BACK
PAIN, JOINT PAIN, ARMS, HEAD,
NECK.
JUST A LOT OF PAIN.
>> ARE YOU MORE CONCERNED ABOUT
WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN WITH YOUR
MEMORY AND YOUR ATTENTION, OR
ARE YOU MORE CONCERNED ABOUT
WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN WITH YOUR
PAIN AND YOUR NECK?
>> I KNOW EVERYTHING WILL WORK
OUT.
IT'S JUST A MATTER OF WANTING TO
GET SETTLED IN AND KNOWING
WHAT'S HAPPENING.
BUT AS FAR AS, LIKE, HOW MUCH
LONGER I'M GONNA HAVE TO BE HERE
AWAY FROM MY FAMILY.
>> IT'S LIKE GETTING HIT IN THE
BACK OF THE HEAD WITH A 2x4, BUT
IT JUST STAYS, LIKE A TUNING
FORK.
>> SO, THE PLAN FOR HIM RIGHT
NOW IS ACTUALLY TO PUT SOME
ELECTRODES AROUND THE NERVES,
AND THEY'LL ACTUALLY INSERT SOME
WIRES THAT HAVE THE TIP WHERE
THEY CAN USE SOME ELECTRICAL
STIMULATION.
>> HE SAID IT'S JUST, LIKE, FOUR
STITCHES.
>> THE RESPONSE OF AN AVERAGE
HUMAN BEING TO HORRIFIC
CIRCUMSTANCES -- ONE OF THE
THINGS THAT'S KEEPING THOSE
THINGS GOING, ALL RIGHT, IS THAT
YOU HAVE NO WAY TO COPE WITH
THEM.
I WANT YOU TO STAY NICE AND
RELAXED.
I WANT YOU TO HAVE YOUR BRAIN
TELL THOSE MUSCLES, "RELAX AND
LET GO."
>> ARE YOU BOTH EXCITED ABOUT
THE WEDDING?
>> OH, VERY.
[ LAUGHS ] YEAH.
I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S
ALREADY ALMOST HERE.
>> SO, MY QUESTION FOR YOU IS,
RIGHT HERE, SHOULD WE GET YOU
SOMETHING ELSE IF IT'S HORRIBLE
AND NOT WORKING FOR YOU?
>> NO, I DON'T WANT IT -- I
DON'T WANT A SLEEPING PILL,
PERIOD.
>> GET YOUR BLOOD PRESSURE HERE.
THIS FIRST CHAIR, SIR, RIGHT
HERE.
>> OH, FIRST?
>> RIGHT HERE.
>> THIS IS JUST A TEST,
'CAUSE -- BECAUSE WHAT WE WANT
TO KNOW WITH THIS IS, IS THIS
WORTHWHILE?
DOES THIS GET RID OF YOUR PAIN?
IT MAY, OR IT MAY NOT.
>> LOVE YOU.
[ LAUGHS ]
>> AND I CAN LIE.
I CAN COME HERE AND LIE ALL DAY
LONG.
I CAN SAY, "YEAH, I TAKE THOSE
PILLS," YOU KNOW?
I CAN KEEP UP WITH IT, WHERE I
CAN GO GET THE PRESCRIPTIONS
FILLED --
>> I THINK I'M CATCHING
EVERYTHING.
I THINK I'M MAKING ALL MY
APPOINTMENTS, BUT, GOODNESS
GRACIOUS, IT'S JUST LIKE, "OH,
MY GOSH."
IT'S ALMOST LIKE A -- LIKE AN
OVERWHELMING FEELING, WHICH I
SHOULDN'T HAVE THAT -- I
SHOULDN'T HAVE THAT TYPE OF
FEELING FROM THIS LITTLE BIT OF
STUFF.
>> IT FELT REALLY WEIRD WHEN HE
WAS STICKING IT BACK IN MY HEAD.
I WAS LIKE...
>> [ LAUGHS ]
THAT'S WEIRD.
[ LAUGHS ]
>> MADE AN INCISION, AND THEN
STUCK A CATHETER UP ALONG UNDER
THE SCALP.
AND THEN RAN THE ELECTRODES UP
INTO THE BACK OF IT.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
>> UH-HUH. TAKE IT EASY.
GOOD LUCK WITH IT.
>> I HEAR FROM YOUR CASE MANAGER
THAT YOU STOPPED SOME OF YOUR
MEDICATIONS.
>> YES.
>> WHICH ONES?
>> THE BUSPAR AND THE ZOLOFT.
>> OKAY.
DID YOU SEE YOUR PRIMARY CARE
PROVIDER FIRST BEFORE YOU -- OR
YOU JUST STOPPED?
>> NO, I JUST STOPPED.
THEY WERE MAKING ME FEEL PRETTY
BAD.
I HAVE THE BUSPAR.
[ CLEARS THROAT ]
>> CLEAR.
>> DO I NEED TO GO THROUGH THAT
DOOR?
>> NO, YOU DON'T NEED TO GO --
>> STAY IN THE CORNER.
>> I WOULD STAY IN THE SAME
ROOM.
THAT'S FINE.
...TO LIVE TOGETHER UNDER GOD'S
DIRECTION FOR MARRIAGE.
WILL YOU LOVE HIM, HONOR HIM,
CHERISH HIM, STAY COMMITTED TO
HIM IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH,
AS LONG AS YOU BOTH SHALL LIVE?
IF SO, ANSWER, "I DO, WITH THE
HELP OF GOD."
>> OH, THAT'S BEAUTIFUL.
>> [ LAUGHS ]
>> I LOVE IT.
OKAY, WE GOT ONE LAST ONE.
LET'S SWAP PLACES AND...GO.
[ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS ]
>> AFTER BEING AT THE HOSPITAL
FOR SEVERAL MONTHS, ONE OF THE
THINGS THAT I KEPT HEARING FROM
GUYS IS THAT THEY REALLY FELT
GUILTY ABOUT BEING THERE AND
RECEIVING TREATMENT.
AND THE BROOKE ARMY MEDICAL
CENTER IS THE ARMY'S PREMIER
COMBAT TREATMENT FACILITY, SO,
YOU KNOW, YOU'RE SURROUNDED BY
GUYS WITH SERIOUS PHYSICAL
INJURIES, BURNS, AND
AMPUTATIONS, AND WITH BRAIN
INJURIES AND COMBAT STRESS, I
MEAN, YOU REALLY HAVE NOTHING TO
SHOW FOR YOURSELF, SO I THINK A
LOT OF GUYS REALLY JUST FEEL
GUILTY ABOUT BEING THERE AND
RECEIVING TREATMENT.
I MEAN, EVEN I FELT GUILTY ABOUT
RUNNING AROUND WITH THIS CAMERA,
YOU KNOW, WHILE GUYS WERE, YOU
KNOW, REALLY HAVING A DIFFICULT
TIME ALL AROUND ME.
BUT ONE OF THE THINGS THAT THE
ARMY WAS REALLY GOOD ABOUT WAS
ENCOURAGING GUYS TO GET AWAY
FROM THE HOSPITAL AND TO TAKE IN
SOME RECREATION.
SO, AFTER A COUPLE MONTHS, I
THINK ALL OF US WERE READY TO
GET AWAY FROM THE HOSPITAL AND,
YOU KNOW, GET OUT.
>> OH.
GUYS JUST AREN'T GETTING OUTSIDE
AND DOING THINGS, YOU KNOW, WHAT
THEY DID BEFORE.
AND, GRANTED, YOU KNOW, SOME
GUYS BEFORE DID NOTHING BUT PLAY
XBOX, YOU KNOW, SO...
THAT IS PROBABLY WHAT THEY'RE
GONNA DO AFTER THEY GET HURT.
>> WE'RE IN FRISCO, DALLAS.
HANGING OUT.
EATING FREE FOOD, STAYING AT A
FREE HOTEL.
BEING ROCK STARS FOR A WEEKEND.
RIGHT ON, MAN.
>> PRESENT, HUH!
>> IT'S TOTALLY DIFFERENT
WHEN THAT -- THAT RIFLE AND THAT
HELMET AND THAT, YOU KNOW, THAT
MEMORIAL, THAT LITTLE MEMORIAL
THERE, WHEN IT MEANS SOMETHING,
WHEN YOU KNOW -- WHEN THAT
REPRESENTS -- I JUST DON'T SEE
THAT.
I SEE MY BUDDIES, YOU KNOW?
>> I REALLY LOVED KICKING IN
DOORS AND, YOU KNOW, THAT
ADRENALINE.
YOU KNOW, THAT ADRENALINE,
THERE'S REALLY NOTHING.
I'VE ALWAYS NEEDED IT.
AS A KID, I NEEDED IT AND STILL
NEED IT NOW.
>> S-H-E-L-E-Y.
>> S-H-E-L...
>> E-Y.
>> IT'S JUST -- IT'S GREAT TO BE
OUT HERE AND OUTSIDE, AND, I
MEAN, ONE OF THE COOL THINGS
ABOUT -- YOU KNOW, WE MAY SEE --
WE MAY NOT EVEN SEE A HOG, BUT
WE MAY SEE DEER COME IN AND
FEED, AND IT'S NOT DEER SEASON,
SO WE GET TO JUST ENJOY WATCHING
THEM.
WE MAY SEE TURKEY COME DOWN.
>> DADDY'S GOT THIS.
OH!
>> KIND OF LIKE BASKETBALL.
IT'S KIND OF LIKE -- WHAT'S THE
NAME OF THAT CLOWN?
BOZO THE CLOWNISH.
THE PRODUCER HIMSELF.
>> ARE WE DOING -- CAN WE DO
OVERHEAD?
>> WHATEVER YOU WANT, RIGHT?
>> THERE'S ONLY ONE RULE.
>> YEAH, WELL, YOU CAN.
>> HEY, I'M BLACK, PLAYING THE
BASS.
>> THROW IT BACK TO ME.
>> WHAT ARE YOU PLAYING?
>> I DON'T KNOW HOW TO PLAY THE
BASS.
>> WE GOT TWO DRUM SETS!
ALL RIGHT, WATCH, I'LL DROP IT.
[ GUNSHOT, BIRDS CHIRPING ]
>> MAN, THEY WERE HEADING THE
WRONG WAY.
[ BREATHING HEAVILY ]
>> SO, WHAT WERE YOU SAYING?
>> I'M JUST READY TO GO HOME.
SEE THE FAMILY.
GET AWAY FROM THE ARMY FOR A
LITTLE BIT...
AND, UH, GET AWAY FROM THIS
PLACE FOR A LITTLE BIT.
>> I DO, BY THE VIRTUE OF THE
POWER AND AUTHORITY VESTED IN ME
FOR THE LAWS OF THE STATE OF
MINNESOTA...
>> DAD AND DARLA JUST GOT
MARRIED HERE, IN, UH, BEMIDJI.
THE PAUL BUNYAN THING.
>> GO GET WITH YOUR DAD.
>> [ SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY ]
>> IT IS JULY 4th.
WE'RE, UH, WE'RE AT
SPRING CREEK.
IT'S AN OFF-ROAD PARK IN TEXAS.
WE GOT THE KIDS -- FIVE KIDS.
W>>GOT THE KIDS -- FIVE KIDS.
LEFT LANE IS GAINING EVER SO
SLIGHTLY.
HE'S MAKING UP THE DISTANCE.
>> UH, WHERE ARE WE GOING?
>> WE'RE GONNA GO BACK UP AND
AROUND THIS WAY.
NICE AND EASY.
>> OKAY.
SO, I'VE BEEN UP IN MINNESOTA
FOR ABOUT A WEEK.
>> [ High-pitched voice ] YES,
HE HAS.
>> AND I WILL BE LEAVING ON MY
ROAD TRIP ON FRIDAY.
MY LITTLE SISTER, JEANETTE,
GRADUATED.
>> SO WE'RE GONNA EAT OUR
BALLOONS.
AH-AH-AH-AH-AH!
>> [ High-pitched voice ] AND
NOW WE'RE SUCKING IN SOME
HELIUM.
THIS IS HOW WE SPEND OUR TIME IN
MINNESOTA BECAUSE WE GET SO, SO
BORED.
[ BOTH LAUGH ]
>> I'M GONNA BEAT YOU THERE!
>> A LITTLE SCENERY.
IT'S BEEN A NICE DRIVE
THROUGH -- COMING OUT OF
COLORADO.
BUT NOW WE'RE IN NEW MEXICO,
HEADING TOWARDS ARIZONA.
SO, TODAY OUR TRAVELS TAKE US TO
THE GRAND CANYON.
7,100 FEET.
>> YOU HAVING FUN?
>> YEAH.
>> [ LAUGHS ]
>> SO, NOW YOU HAVE TO BOTH GO
AT THE SAME TIME?
>> WE ARE HAVING A GREAT TIME.
[ LAUGHS ]
>> HELLO, YOUNG MAN.
>> HOW YOU DOING?
>> I'M FINE. HOW YOU DOING?
>> GOOD. GOOD. GOOD TO SEE YOU.
>> DO YOU THINK THAT YOU'VE
IMPROVED?
>> WHY I'M STILL HERE, 'CAUSE
PHYSICALLY I'M NOT READY TO GO
TO A UNIT.
>> MM-HMM.
>> IF I GET SENT TO A UNIT AS AN
NCO...
>> MM-HMM.
>> ...YOU KNOW, IN MY MOS, I'M
GONNA BE USELESS.
AND IT'S GONNA BE DETRIMENTAL TO
MY CAREER.
>> WHY WOULD YOU BE USELESS?
>> PHYSICALLY, I CAN'T DO
ANYTHING.
LIKE, I CAN'T DO P.T. WITH MY
SOLDIERS.
>> WHY CAN'T YOU DO P.T.?
WHAT'S STOP--
>> I'M NOT THERE YET.
>> OKAY.
>> STILL WORKING WITH PHYSICAL
THERAPY, SO...
>> OKAY, FOR WHAT BODY PARTS?
>> [ Chuckling ] A LOT.
MY BACK, MY NECK, MY SHOULDER,
MY CHEST, HIP, KNEES, LEGS.
I MEAN...
>> OKAY.
>> SO...
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]
>> IT'S CALLED A TENS UNIT, AND
I WEAR IT WHEN I WORK OUT,
ESPECIALLY HERE, 'CAUSE IT
SENDS, LIKE, ELECTRICAL PULSES
AND STUFF THROUGH MY BACK, SO IT
KIND OF HELPS TO HELP MY BACK
KEEP LOOSE AND KIND OF DULL OUT
THE PAIN WHILE I'M TRYING TO
WORK OUT.
>> A LOT OF SOLDIERS THAT COME
BACK FROM WAR END UP
EXPERIENCING SLEEP DISTURBANCE,
ANGER, IRRITABILITY,
CONCENTRATION, MEMORY PROBLEMS,
FATIGUE, HEADACHES, AND THOSE
SORTS OF SYMPTOMS.
AND, SO, THE -- THE RESEARCH
THAT WE'VE BEEN LOOKING AT HAS
REALLY BEEN ASKING THE QUESTION,
"HOW BEST DO WE ADDRESS THOSE
POST-WAR HEALTH CONCERNS?
ARE THOSE POST-WAR HEALTH
CONCERNS DUE TO CONCUSSION OR
MILD TBI, OR ARE THEY DUE TO
PTSD?
ARE THEY DUE TO A RANGE OF OTHER
THINGS THAT -- AND WHAT'S THE
BEST APPROACH TO THOSE -- TO
TREATING THOSE TYPES OF
SYMPTOMS?"
>> ALMOST EVERY SOLDIER HAS, IN
THE BACK OF HIS HEAD, THE NOTION
THAT IF HE HAS A BLAST INJURY
LIKE A CONCUSSION THAT WOULD
EXPLAIN ALL OF HIS SYMPTOMS
THAT NOBODY ELSE CAN SEE --
NOBODY ELSE CAN SEE HIS
WOUNDS -- IT MAKES HIM A MORE
HONORABLE SOLDIER.
THAT I SEE OVER AND OVER AND
OVER AGAIN.
>> I FEEL THAT THE ODDS ARE
REALLY STACKED AGAINST DOCTORS
SOMETIMES IN TRYING TO PROPERLY
DIAGNOSE AND TREAT THESE
INJURIES BECAUSE THERE'S SUCH A
STIGMA ABOUT MENTAL HEALTH IN
THE MILITARY.
AND SOLDIERS ARE TRAINED AND
INDOCTRINATED TO BE MENTALLY AND
PHYSICALLY TOUGH, SO IT'S NEARLY
AN IMPOSSIBLE TASK TO TRY TO GET
A SOLDIER TO ADMIT THAT MAYBE
THEY'RE HAVING PSYCHOLOGICAL
PROBLEMS, AS OPPOSED TO PHYSICAL
PROBLEMS, LIKE A CONCUSSION.
AND I THINK ANOTHER ELEMENT TO
THE PROBLEM IS THE WAY THAT
RUMORS AFFECT SOLDIERS' OPINIONS
ABOUT THE INJURY.
SO GUYS WILL HEAR IT IN THE
BARRACKS ABOUT, YOU KNOW, HOW
ANOTHER GUY IS DOING OR WHAT
SYMPTOMS HE MIGHT BE HAVING.
AND THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN,
THEY'RE REALLY WAITING FOR THE
SHOE TO DROP, YOU KNOW,
EXPECTING TO GET WORSE.
>> DID YOU HAVE MOVERS HELP?
>> I HAD FRIENDS HELP AND
PUT MY KIDS TO WORK AND STUFF.
>> THAT'S RIGHT.
YOU SAID YOU HAD THE CHEAP
LABOR.
>> I TALKED TO A BUDDY OF MINE
THAT WAS WITH ME WHEN WE GOT
HIT.
HE WAS RIGHT NEXT TO ME.
HE DIDN'T REMEMBER HE WAS
MARRIED.
SAID THAT, UH, HIS WIFE HAD TO
COME UP AND FILL OUT ALL HIS
PAPERWORK FOR HIM.
HE COULDN'T -- COULDN'T DO ANY
OF HIS PAPERWORK, COULDN'T READ.
UM...
I'M READY FOR MY PHYSICAL
THERAPIST.
>> HOW ARE YOU?
>> GOOD. YOURSELF?
>> GOOD. HOW ARE YOU FEELING?
>> IT FEELS TIGHT THERE.
I FEEL, LIKE, A KNOTTING,
LIKE IT'S KNOTTING UP.
LOOSENING.
>> TWO. DON'T GO DOWN SO HARD.
>> HOW MUCH MORE DO YOU GOT TO
GO?
>> AT LEAST ONE MORE.
>> FOUR MORE. FOUR MORE.
>> HOW DO YOU FEEL?
>> UM, I'M IN PAIN.
NOT EVEN TIRED.
THAT'S THE BAD PART.
I'M NOT TIRED AT ALL.
JUST MY ANKLE'S HURTING.
THAT'S WEIRD.
MY ANKLE NEVER HURTS.
>> COME ON BACK.
BUT YOU HAVE SOME PAIN RIGHT
UP THERE.
>> YEAH, I DON'T KNOW WHY IT'S
STARTING UP AGAIN, YOU KNOW?
IT WAS, LIKE, IT HAD CALMED DOWN
TO, YOU KNOW, A TOLERABLE LEVEL,
BUT IT'S THE STUPIDEST THINGS,
LIKE REACHING INTO THE CLOSET TO
GRAB A SHIRT AND...
>> MM-HMM.
>> YOU KNOW? AND THERE IT IS.
[ LAUGHS ]
>> YEAH.
>> FOR A WHILE, I JUST LIVED ON
PERCOCETS.
THAT WAS THE ONLY WAY TO DO IT.
THAT'S WHY I HATE THAT DRUG, AND
IF THEY TRY TO GIVE IT TO ME
AGAIN AFTER SURGERY, I'M GONNA
BEG FOR SOMETHING ELSE, BUT...
>> LET ME KNOW HOW I'M DOING,
OKAY?
>> I WILL.
>> [ LAUGHS ]
>> I'M A PRETTY GOOD CRITIQUER
OF INJECTIONS.
>> OKAY. OKAY.
>> I'M PROBABLY LEADING THE
LEAGUE.
>> HOW MANY -- YOU SAID YOU WERE
LEADING THE LEAGUE IN
INJECTIONS.
HOW MANY HAVE YOU HAD, DO YOU
THINK, IF YOU COULD ROUND IT UP?
NEED A NUMBER.
>> USUALLY, LET'S SAY, FIVE
INJECTIONS AT A TIME.
PROBABLY 100.
BUT...
>> I'M GONNA TRY TO AVOID
TOUCHING ANY OF THOSE AREAS, BUT
I'M GONNA PUT MY HAND RIGHT
HERE.
>> OKAY.
>> AND WE'VE ALREADY MARKED THE
SPOT.
SO, HERE WE GO.
>> [ EXHALES DEEPLY ]
>> HOW ARE YOU DOING?
>> I'M PRETTY GOOD.
>> OKAY.
>> JUST BREATHING.
>> LET ME KNOW IF YOU GET TOO
UNCOMFORTABLE.
>> OKAY.
>> AM I HITTING THAT SPOT YET?
>> OH, YEAH.
>> OKAY, GOOD.
HITTING IT AGAIN?
>> I DON'T FEEL IT NOW.
>> YOU MIGHT BE JUST TOO NUMB,
BUT LET'S SEE IF WE CAN FIND
ANY...
>> YEAH, I CAN BARELY FEEL YOU
MOVING IT NOW.
I MEAN, IT'S -- IT'S PRETTY
NUMB.
NICE AND NUMB.
>> IT FEELS BETTER? OKAY, GOOD.
>> HOW'S YOUR NECK?
>> COMPLETELY NUMB.
[ LAUGHS ]
I MEAN, COMPLETELY NUMB.
BUT IT FEELS GOOD.
REAL GOOD.
>> [ SINGING IN
FOREIGN LANGUAGE ]
FOREIGN LANGUAGE ]
>> I HEAR THAT EITHER AL-QAEDA
OR THE TALIBAN HAVE PUT OUT A
LITTLE FLICK, A LITTLE MOVIE.
>> YEAH. PROPAGANDA VIDEO.
>> PROPAGANDA MOVIE.
>> YEAH.
>> AND THAT YOU'RE ONE OF THE
STARS.
>> I HAVEN'T SEEN IT. I MEAN...
I WANT TO SEE IT, AND THEN I...
DON'T WANT TO SEE IT.
IF I SEE WHERE THE SPACING
WASN'T RIGHT BETWEEN ME AND THE
HUMVEE IN FRONT OF ME, I'M GONNA
GET ANGRY.
>> AT WHOM?
>> HUH?
>> AT WHOM?
>> AT ME, YOU KNOW?
LIKE...
I PROBABLY COULD HAVE SAVED
GUYS' LIVES, YOU KNOW?
COULD HAVE AVOID US GETTING
BLOWN UP -- LOOK, I DON'T
REMEMBER HOW CLOSE I WAS TO THE
HUMVEE IN FRONT OF ME OR HOW FAR
BACK I WAS FROM THE HUMVEE
BEHIND ME.
I DON'T REMEMBER.
>> [SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
[WHIRRING]
>> [ EXHALES DEEPLY ]
[ SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY ]
I HAVE NO IDEA.
WOW.
GEEZ.
WOW>> [
SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE
]
>> GEE ***.
GOD DANG IT.
THAT'S GOT TO BE GONZO.
HE WAS FARTHER AWAY THAN THE
REST OF US.
I DON'T KNOW.
I COULDN'T TELL ANYTHING WRONG
THAT I DID BESIDES JUST TURN THE
CORNER.
>> YOU TURNED THE CORNER.
>> YEAH. THAT'S ALL I --
>> AND NOTHING WAS BLOWING UP ON
THE CORNER.
THE BLOW-UPS THAT I SAW...
>> YEAH.
>> ...WERE EITHER, AS I RECALL
IT, IN THIS DIRECTION OR THAT
DIRECTION, WITH THE CORNER HERE.
>> YEAH. I'M GLAD I SAW IT.
I MEAN, I'M OKAY.
I'M JUST GLAD I SAW IT.
>> THERE ARE THINGS THAT HURT
YOU.
THIS IS ONE OF THOSE.
THIS ONE --
I WAS MORE WORRIED FOR HIM IN
THAT ROOM.
>> ONE THING I CAN SAY IS I
DON'T EVER WANT TO SEE THAT
PICTURE OF THAT HUMVEE BLOW UP
AGAIN EVER IN MY LIFE.
EVER.
TWO GOOD FRIENDS OF MINE ARE
REALLY, REALLY GONE.
AND IT'S DIFFERENT WHEN SOMEBODY
TELLS YOU THAT YOUR BUDDIES ARE
DEAD, AND IT'S TOTALLY DIFFERENT
WHEN YOU SEE IT, YOU KNOW?
>> SOMETIMES, I THINK THAT IF I
COULDN'T --
IF I COULDN'T ORDER IT, IF IT
ALL CAME AT ME AT ONCE, I WOULD
BE A BASKET CASE.
I DON'T THINK I'D BE ABLE TO
COPE, IF TRUTH BE TOLD.
>> NO PLAYING TODAY.
>> [ LAUGHING ]
>> BUSINESS.
>> YOU EXCITED?
>> YEAH. I'M *** STOKED.
>> AND WE'RE GONNA GO UP, GO
FISH, CATCH SOME
LARGEMOUTH BASS, AND THEN GO SIT
DOWN, AND...SLAY SOME HOGS, OR
"HARVEST" SOME HOGS WOULD BE THE
POLITICALLY CORRECT TERM.
>> GIT-R-DONE, HOGS.
>> [ LAUGHS ]
>> THAT'S AWESOME.
>> YEAH, I --
RYAN'S NEVER USED THESE BAIT
CASTERS, SO THAT'S JUST GONNA
CAUSE UNDUE PAIN.
>> THAT'S WHAT WE USED THE LAST
TIME.
>> AND SO...
>> [ SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY ]
>> ALL RIGHT.
>> THERE WE GO.
>> HAVE YOU USED PLASTIC WORMS
BEFORE?
>> MM-HMM.
>> THERE'S FISH THAT WON'T BITE
IT.
>> IT'S NICE OUT HERE, NICE AND
QUIET.
>> FOR THE LAST TWO WEEKS, I HAD
MY WIFE THROW EVERYTHING THAT WE
ATE INTO THIS BUCKET.
>> [ GASPS, CHUCKLES ]
>> LET'S JUST WAIT TILL ABOUT AN
HOUR BEFORE DARK, AND SEE IF
THEY'RE MOVING ON IT, AND THEN
SET UP A TREE AND --
OR SET UP A CHAIR -- SET UP A
CHAIR AND WAIT.
[ IMITATING HOG CALL ]
[ INSECTS CHIRPING ]
[ GUNSHOT ]
[ HOG SQUEALING ]
[ GUNSHOT ]
[ GUNSHOT ]
>> THAT WAS LIKE --
>> DUDE, I HIT THAT THING
RUNNING UP THAT VALLEY, MAN,
JUST --
>> ALL RIGHT. YOU READY?
>> YEAH.
>> 1, 2, 3.
>> [ SIGHS ]
>> IT'S LIKE A FOUR-HOUR TEST,
AIN'T IT?
>> SIX.
>> SIX?
WOW.
>> IT'LL COME OUT ON THE TEST,
RIGHT?
>> [ CHUCKLES ]
>> I GOT A LOT OF SLEEP LAST
NIGHT.
>> WELL, LISTEN -- HERE'S WHAT
WE'RE GONNA DO TODAY.
WE'RE GOING TO REPEAT SOME OF
THE TESTS THAT YOU TOOK IN
DECEMBER.
>> OKAY.
>> WE'RE ALSO PROBABLY GONNA DO
A COUPLE OF NEW TESTS THAT YOU
PROBABLY COULDN'T HAVE HANDLED
IN DECEMBER OR THAT I DIDN'T
THINK WAS EVEN NECESSARY TO DO,
BECAUSE IT WOULD'VE BEEN TOO
HARD FOR YOU.
>> JUST TRY TO ANSWER AS
HONESTLY AS YOU CAN REGARDING
YOUR BEHAVIOR FOR THE PAST
SIX MONTHS.
>> OKAY.
>> SO, THE PURPOSE OF THIS
EVALUATION OF SEEING
SPECIALIST KRAMER AT THIS POINT
IS, THE SYMPTOMS THAT WE
CONSIDER TO BE MORE TYPICAL OF
TBI SEEM TO BE GOING AWAY.
I ALSO WANT TO MAKE SURE THAT HE
DOESN'T JUST DROP OFF THE FACE
OF THE EARTH -- THAT HE
CONTINUES TO STAY IN THERAPY OR
IN TREATMENT GOING FORWARD.
>> I'M DEFINITELY GONNA HAVE TO
RETAKE IT.
I FEEL LIKE I'M DOING REALLY
BAD.
LIKE, PERSONALLY, I'M DOING
BETTER.
BUT, YOU KNOW, IT'S JUST HARD TO
GET A PAPER TEST TO REFLECT, YOU
KNOW, HOW I FEEL, SO --
AND ME FEELING GOOD IS NOT GONNA
GET ME OUT OF HERE, EITHER.
[ CHUCKLES ]
ME SAYING I'M FEELING BETTER IS
NOT GONNA CONVINCE THEM THAT I
AM, UNFORTUNATELY.
SO...
[ SIGHS ]
>> AND, SO, ALL OF YOUR SCORES,
YOU'RE GONNA SEE, ARE FALLING
SOLIDLY IN THE AVERAGE OR
ABOVE-AVERAGE RANGE.
>> I'M IMPROVING.
AND I DON'T WANT TO SAY IS IT --
AM I LIKELY TO START GOING BACK
DOWN, OR IS THERE A POSSIBILITY
THAT I CAN GO BACK DOWN, IS THE
QUESTION.
>> THE ANSWER IS NO.
THE ANSWER IS YOU SHOULD NOT GO
BACK DOWN.
THERE'S A POSSIBILITY YOUR
EXPERIENCE MAY BE THAT YOU'RE
GOING BACK DOWN, AND IF THAT
ACTUALLY EVER HAPPENED -- AND
IT'S VERY RARE THAT IT DOES --
THEN WE WOULD LOOK AT OTHER
FACTORS THAT WOULD CONTRIBUTE TO
THAT, LIKE HAVE YOU CHANGED
MEDICATIONS?
IS THIS A MEDICATION EFFECT?
ARE YOU BECOMING DEPRESSED OR
HAVING SOME OTHER SYMPTOMS OR
YOUR SLEEP HAS GONE AWAY OR
SOMETHING LIKE THAT?
THE PATTERN IS VERY, VERY
CONSISTENT WITH CONCUSSION THAT
THE SYMPTOMS TEND TO BE
SIGNIFICANT RIGHT EARLY ON AND
THEN, OVER TIME, THE PERSON
STARTS TO GET MUCH, MUCH BETTER.
SO WHAT WE'RE SEEING IS MEMORY
HAS GOTTEN BETTER.
LEARNING HAS GOTTEN BETTER.
YOUR THINKING -- YOUR OVERALL
THINKING SKILLS, IN TERMS OF
HIGHER-LEVEL REASONING -- HAS
GOTTEN BETTER.
AND THE AREAS THAT YOU'RE STILL
HAVING DIFFICULTY WITH ARE SOME
OF THOSE EFFICIENCY -- OF HOW
QUICKLY YOUR BRAIN IS GOING.
THIS IS LACK OF SOCIAL SUPPORT.
THIS IS SAYING THAT RIGHT NOW,
WHAT YOU'RE TELLING ME IS, "I
DON'T HAVE VERY MANY PEOPLE THAT
I CAN TURN TO TO GO OVER STUFF."
SO, YOU HAD SERGEANT ***, IT
SOUNDED LIKE, WHO WAS A PRETTY
IMPORTANT PERSON IN YOUR LIFE.
OBVIOUSLY, YOU HAVE YOUR MOM AND
FAMILY MEMBERS AND STUFF.
BUT THERE'S NOT THAT MANY PEOPLE
YOU CAN KIND OF TURN TO.
>> [ CLEARS THROAT ]
>> ALL RIGHT.
I'M GONNA BE DOING YOUR -- OH,
YOU'RE DOING A NERVE STIMULATOR?
>> MM-HMM.
>> DO YOU HAVE ANY ALLERGIES TO
ANY MEDICATION?
>> NO.
>> I'M REALLY CROSSING MY
FINGERS THAT, YOU KNOW, A
RADIOACTIVE MOSQUITO OR
SOMETHING, LIKE, COMES OVER HERE
FROM NUCLEAR MEDICINE AND GETS
INTO MY NECK AROUND THE LEAD
AND --
>> YOU'LL JUST HAVE SUPER-HUMAN
POWERS?
>> YEAH.
>> [ LAUGHS ]
>> I'M EXPECTING TO FLY BY THE
END OF THE DAY.
>> [ LAUGHS ]
>> TODAY, WE'RE DOING MY
SURGERY -- IMPLANTING SOME LEADS
AND A SPINAL CORD STIMULATOR UP
IN THE NECK AT C1 AND IN THE
BASE OF THE SKULL, AND,
HOPEFULLY, IT'LL TAKE AWAY THE
NERVE -- THE PAIN FROM THE NERVE
DAMAGE.
>> I LOVE YOU.
>> LOVE YOU, TOO.
>> WE'LL TAKE CARE OF HIM.
WE'LL SEE YOU LATER.
>> THANK YOU.
>> YOU'RE WELCOME.
>> [ SIGHS ] OKAY.
>> NOW THE ONLY PROBLEM THAT I'M
REALLY HAVING --
THE ONLY THING THAT I'M HAVING A
PROBLEM WITH NOW IS NIGHTMARES.
>> THE NIGHTMARES ARE THE
RESIDUALS, OKAY, OF COMBAT
EXPERIENCE, OKAY?
TO HELP YOU PROCESS THE
NIGHTMARES, I'M GONNA PROPOSE TO
YOU THAT...
WE RELIVE...
MANY OF THOSE EXPERIENCES, OKAY,
BY YOUR TELLING ME ABOUT THEM.
>> OKAY.
>> OKAY?
NOW, YOU CAN EXPECT TO FEEL
WORSE AFTER TELLING ME ABOUT
THEM.
MEANWHILE, REALITY TV STAR
KELLY BENSIMON, WHO STARS IN
THIS SEASON'S "THE REAL
HOUSEWIVES OF NEW YORK CITY,"
WAS ONLY CHARGED WITH A
THIRD-DEGREE MISDEMEANOR FOR
ALLEGEDLY ASSAULTING HER
FIANCé, NICK STEFANOV.
>> ANOTHER RPG EXPLODED, AND IT
WAS JUST...ONE AFTER THE OTHER.
AND WE'RE JUST KIND OF, LIKE,
SITTING THERE LIKE, "MAN, WE ARE
NOT GONNA MAKE IT OUT OF THIS.
LIKE, THIS IS --
THIS IS BAD."
LIKE, OUR WHOLE TRUCK IS UP IN
FLAMES.
I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE MY SQUAD
IS.
>> HE DID VERY, VERY WELL.
YOU KNOW, HE HAS THREE SMALL
INCISIONS.
THEY'LL BE A LITTLE BIT SORE FOR
A DAY OR TWO, BUT HE'LL GET OVER
THAT PRETTY QUICKLY.
>> GOOD.
>> BUT IT WENT VERY WELL, SO
WE'LL GET THEM TURNED ON FOR
HIM, AND IT WON'T BE BUT A FEW
MINUTES, THEN WE'LL LET YOU COME
IN AND SEE HIM.
>> OKAY. THANK YOU.
>> YOU'RE WELCOME.
>> [ SIGHS, CHUCKLES ]
>> THE TRIGGERMAN FOR THE BOMB
KIND OF GOT FREAKED OUT, AND HE
HAD THE SCHOOL ALL WIRED UP WITH
EXPLOSIVES, 'CAUSE THAT'S WHERE
YOU WALK RIGHT THROUGH.
SO HE FREAKED OUT AND BLEW IT,
WHICH IT DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO
US, 'CAUSE WE'RE ALL IN THE
TRUCKS, AND --
BUT THE SCHOOL WAS FULL, SO...
>> FULL OF CHILDREN?
>> YEAH, SO --
>> OH, MY LORD.
>> WE HAD TO GO, AFTER THE SITE
WAS SECURED, YOU KNOW, DO THE
TRIAGE AND KIND OF SEPARATE
WHICH ONES COULD BE TREATED AND
NOT.
THEN THE MEDICS HAD TO TREAT
THOSE ONES, AND THEN THEY'RE
REAL BIG ON BURYING THEIR
FAMILIES, SO YOU KIND OF GOT TO
GO THROUGH AND PICK UP PIECES
AND GIVE THEM TO FAMILIES TO
BURY, SO...
>> SO YOU HAD TO HANDLE LITTLE
KIDS' BODY PARTS?
>> YEAH. IT WAS BAD.
LIKE, WE'VE PULLED PEOPLE OUT OF
BURNING HUMVEES, AND IT WOULDN'T
HAVE BEEN NOTHING BUT, LIKE,
A -- LOOKS LIKE A --
>> GO AHEAD. THIS'LL HAPPEN.
[ GRUNTS, SIGHS ]
>> OHH.
OHH.
[ BEEPING ]
>> STARTING TO FEEL IT.
>> OKAY.
[ BEEPING CONTINUES ]
DOES THAT FEEL A LITTLE
DIFFERENT?
>> MM-HMM.
>> YOU LIKE THE FIRST ONE BETTER
OR THIS ONE?
>> I DON'T KNOW.
THIS ONE'S KIND OF NICE.
>> OKAY.
>> I DON'T HAVE ANY SUPERPOWERS
RIGHT NOW.
>> [ LAUGHS ]
>> MY BACK JUST --
[ EXHALES SHARPLY ]
MAN, THAT WAS -- THAT WAS PRETTY
PAINFUL.
IT HURTS...REALLY BAD.
SO I'M ACTUALLY GONNA PULL MY
PANTS UP TO MY NIPPLES SO I CAN
TRY TO KEEP THAT --
THE WAISTBAND FROM TOUCHING THE
OTHERS.
>> [ BREATHES SHARPLY ]
YOU WANT TO PUT IT OVER YOUR
HEAD FIRST?
>> NO ONE SAID ANYTHING AT ALL.
YOU JUST GO IN THERE AND JUST
CLEANING BLOOD OFF OF
EVERYTHING.
YOU ASK YOURSELF WHY -- LIKE...
WHY?
I MEAN --
>> WHAT ANSWER DO YOU COME UP
WITH?
>> THERE'S NOT ONE.
WHAT WE KNOW IS GONNA HAPPEN IS
THAT THE MORE YOU REMEMBER IT,
OKAY -- EACH TIME, IT'LL BE
PAINFUL, BUT A LITTLE BIT LESS
THAN THE TIME BEFORE.
ALL RIGHT?
>> OKAY.
>> AND YOU HAVE THE SKILLS IN
RELAXATION NOW AS YOUR BACKUP,
RIGHT?
>> MM-HMM.
[ WIND RUSHING ]
>> ALL RIGHT, SO, DOES THAT
MEAN, LIKE, I WON'T BE ABLE TO
GET DEPLOYED?
>> WELL, HERE'S THE DEAL.
NEUROPSYCHIATRY IS APPROVING YOU
TO HAVE A TRIAL OF DUTY IN A
SIMULATED ENVIRONMENT, OKAY,
PROVIDED THAT YOU HAVE
DEPLOYMENT RESTRICTIONS.
SO, NO, YOU WILL NOT BE
DEPLOYED.
YOU WILL BE JUST TRAINING IN A
SIMULATED ENVIRONMENT, AND
YOU'LL BE FOLLOWING UP MONTHLY.
>> ARE THERE ANY PEOPLE YOU
KNOW, LIKE, GOT THIS PAPER HERE,
THEN BEEN LIKE --
GOT --
WENT BACK LIKE RIGHT AWAY OR,
LIKE --
>> I WOULDN'T SAY RIGHT AWAY.
>> YEAH, IT'S GOOD NEWS.
IT'S PRETTY, PRETTY GOOD NEWS --
LIKE...BEST NEWS I'VE HEARD
SINCE I'VE BEEN HERE.
[ CHUCKLES ]
>> THE PAIN -- THE OCCIPITAL
PAIN -- IT'S PRETTY MUCH GONE,
'CAUSE INSTEAD OF FEELING THE
PAIN, I FEEL, LIKE, A VIBRATION.
[ BEEPING ]
YOU CAN GO THROUGH HERE, AND YOU
HAVE DIFFERENT PROGRAMS THAT RUN
IN DIFFERENT SORTS OF
INTENSITIES AND FREQUENCIES, AND
THEN YOU CAN TURN UP EACH OF
THOSE IN THE MIDST OF THAT,
SO...
BY TURNING IT UP, YOU JUST GO --
[ BEEP, CLICKING ]
YOU KNOW, AND YOU CAN FEEL THE
DIFFERENCE GOING UP IN YOUR
HEAD.
IT'LL JUST ALLOW ME TO KIND OF
DO THINGS WITHOUT HAVING TO
WORRY ABOUT TAKING, LIKE I SAID,
PRESCRIPTION DRUGS OR --
[ BEEPING ]
WHAT'S THE WORD I'M LOOKING FOR?
[ BEEPING CONTINUES ]
THERE'S SO MUCH BEEPING GOING
ON, I CAN'T CONCENTRATE.
UM. [ CLEARS THROAT ]
IT JUST ALLOWS -- LIKE I SAID,
ALLOWS ME TO DO THINGS WITHOUT
TAKING DRUGS.
>> YEAH. LIKE A FISH!
THINGS THAT WOULD AFFECT ME
BEFORE JUST DON'T EVEN --
DON'T EVEN BOTHER ME ANYMORE.
I'M ACTUALLY COMFORTABLE WITH
WHO I AM NOW AND, YOU KNOW, WITH
WHAT'S HAPPENED AND WITH THE
PATH THAT I'M WALKING DOWN RIGHT
NOW FOR MY FUTURE.
I'M REALLY COMFORTABLE, AS --
YOU KNOW, AS BEFORE, I WAS REAL
UNSURE ABOUT SOME STUFF.
AND THE STRESS OF EVERYTHING
MAGNIFIED, YOU KNOW, MY INJURIES
AND WHAT I THOUGHT I WAS GOING
THROUGH, YOU KNOW, TENFOLD.
SO NOW THAT I'M ACTUALLY RELAXED
AND CALM AND CENTERED AND
WHATNOT, YOU KNOW, IT'S --
THINGS DON'T AFFECT ME AS MUCH,
YOU KNOW -- LIKE THE PAIN, YOU
KNOW, HERE AND THERE, IT DOESN'T
AFFECT ME LIKE IT USED TO.
IT DOESN'T --
YOU KNOW, I DON'T LET IT
DICTATE MY LIFE OR WHAT I'M
GONNA DO, SO...
>> ATTENTION TO ORDERS.
CERTIFICATE OF PROMOTION TO ALL
WHO SEE THESE PRESENTS,
GREETING.
TORREY L. KRAMER --
I DO PROMOTE HIM TO SERGEANT IN
THE UNITED STATES ARMY.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> GET YOUR CAMERA.
>> YOU'RE LEAVING? YOU'RE OUT?
>> I'M OUT. GOING.
>> FOR GOOD, FOR GOOD?
>> F>> UH, FOR GOOD, FOR GOOD
HERE.
[ CHUCKLES ]
I'M GONNA CONTINUE MY MEDICAL
CARE.
>> OH, THERE AT HOME.
>> FROM HOME.
>> OH, YOU'RE GONNA BE IN
TRANSITION?
OKAY.
>> OH, YOU'RE GOING HOME!
I'M SO EXCITED!
>> YEAH. ME TOO.
>> GOOD.
>> THREE OF THE KIDS AND
EVERYBODY ELSE, TOO.
>> GOOD. I'M VERY HAPPY.
>> ALL OVER THIS PLACE TODAY.
>> RIGHT ON.
WELL, HAVE A GOOD ONE.
UH...
[ CLICKS TONGUE ]
>> ANY LAST WORDS?
>> I DON'T KNOW.
YOU KNOW, IF YOU WOULDN'T HAVE
SAID THAT, I PROBABLY WOULD'VE
HAD SOME.
[ CHUCKLES ]
>> HERE WE GO.
WHAT MADE HIM DECIDE TO GO
HUNTING THIS MORNING?
>> I'LL JUST FOLLOW THAT SAME
CUT LINE?
>> YEP, AND THERE SHOULD BE A
CUT LINE HERE.
YOU'LL FEEL UP HERE -- THERE'S
HIS HEART.
OKAY.
[ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS ]
WILL YOU HOLD THE PISTOL OVER
YOUR OTHER ARM?
THERE YOU GO.
[ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING ]
I WORKED AS A JOURNALIST, A
WRITER, BEFORE THE ARMY.
IT DOESN'T COME AS EASY, BUT
IT'S GOTTEN BETTER.
YOU KNOW, THE FIRST ARTICLE,
WHEN WE FIRST GOT BACK AT BRAGG,
I WROTE -- TOOK ME FOREVER TO
WRITE.
>> LATER...
>> GOOD TO SEE YOU.
>> ...WHAT I'LL DO IS I'LL JUST
MAIL...
>> STUDENT LEADERSHIP.
>> CENTER.
>> THAT LAST -- ON THIS SIDE,
THE LAST TABLE.
>> DOING GOOD! KEEP IT MOVING!
KEEP IT MOVING!
>> HE'S GOT A CONCUSSION.
>> WAIT, WAIT!
WHO NEEDS WHAT?
>> [ LAUGHS ]
>> WAVE.
>> MY LINE'S GONNA BE SLOWING
UP.
I ENJOY DOING IT. IT'S FUN.
IT'S LIKE A PAINTER, YOU KNOW,
THAT'S FINALLY FINISHED A
PAINTING -- LIKE "WOW, LOOK AT
THAT," YOU KNOW?
IT'S THE SAME THING -- LIKE,
"WOW, LOOK AT THIS LINE MOVING."
EXCUSE ME.
>> YEAH.
YEAH.
OH, NO!
>> REALLY, I HAVEN'T HAD ANY,
UH, ANY PROBLEMS LATELY, YOU
KNOW?
>> NO FLASHES? NO TROUBLES?
>> NO, ESPECIALLY NOW.
I MEAN, I'VE BEEN SO FOCUSED ON
STUDYING FOR THIS PROMOTION
BOARD, I MEAN, EVERYTHING ELSE
HAS JUST SEEMED MEDIOCRE
COMPARED TO IT, SO NOW IT'S --
IT'S GOOD. [ CHUCKLES ]
>> YOU GOT NO NIGHTMARES WHILE
YOU'RE ASLEEP?
>> I'LL HAVE NIGHTMARES, BUT
THEY DON'T WAKE ME UP.
>> [ WHISTLING ]
>> YOU GET EXCITED OR, LIKE,
BUTTERFLIES IN THE STOMACH WHEN
YOU COME OUT HERE?
>> I GET EXCITED.
IT'S -- IT'S FUN.
YOU KNOW, IT'S --
I DON'T NECESSARILY GET NERVOUS,
BUT IT'S LIKE, I WANT TO FLY,
I WANT TO FLY, I WANT TO FLY,
AND THEN WHEN IT'S OVER, I STILL
WANT TO FLY.
>> [ CHUCKLES ]
>> BUT IT'S...
[ ENGINE RUMBLING ]
>> ENTER!
>> HE HAS REALLY GOOD REASONS TO
WANT TO KEEP THIS ALL A MATTER
OF HIS TBI.
HE'S GOT A PROMOTION BOARD, AND
I DON'T THINK ANY SOLDIER WANTS
TO GO BEFORE A BOARD OF NCOs AND
TELL THEM, "WELL, YEAH, I HAVE
THESE SYMPTOMS, BUT THEY'RE JUST
ANXIETY SYMPTOMS."
>> AND WILL YOU PLAN ON STAYING
IN...
>> ...MAJOR.
>> AND IF THE ARMY SAYS, "I
DON'T THINK SO"?
>> GONNA FIGHT IT EVERY STEP OF
THE WAY, BUT IF THE ARMY SAYS
I'M NOT...
>> HE MAY BE HIDING A WEAKNESS,
OR HE MAY ACTUALLY HAVE COME OUT
OF THIS STRONGER.
I DON'T KNOW WHICH ONE.
>> SPECIALIST SOTO, YOU ARE
DISMISSED.
>> [ SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY ]
[ CHUCKLES ]
I APPRECIATE IT.
>> AND YOU DID A REAL
OUTSTANDING JOB.
>> I PASSED!
[ LAUGHS ]
YEP. YEP.
[ LAUGHS ]
WELL, THANKS, DAD.
I'M SO EXCITED.
>> OKAY.
YOU WANT TO -- YEAH, GET COMFY.
THERE YOU GO. GET COMFORTABLE.
SO, THE THEORIES BEHIND THIS IS
WHAT WE CALL A GATE CONTROL
THEORY.
SO YOU PUT THE NEEDLE IN, AND IT
PRODUCES PERIPHERAL REDUCTION OF
PAIN.
YOU START FEELING A LITTLE BIT?
>> NO.
>> NOT YET. OKAY.
TELL ME WHEN YOU START FEELING
IT.
WE DO NOT KNOW --
THE LITERATURE HASN'T SHOWN --
PEOPLE DO SAY THE TRAUMATIC
BRAIN INJURY AND --
WITH THERAPY, YOU KNOW, IT GETS
BETTER AND BETTER EVERY DAY.
AND WE ARE SEEING PATIENTS,
ALSO, THAT THEY ARE GETTING
SLOWLY BETTER.
BUT WILL IT EVER GO AWAY?
WE DON'T KNOW.
HAD A NAP?
>> NO.
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]
>> WE NEED TO GET THAT BOARD
THAT YOU'RE ON --
>> I THINK I KNOW HOW TO DO THIS
ONE.
I THINK THIS ONE RIGHT HERE IS,
LIKE, THE LOOKOUT HOLE.
>> AND THEN WHAT THEY HAVE TO DO
IS TAKE THIS...
>> WELL, FOR WHATEVER REASON, IF
YOU ARE NOT ABLE TO STAY IN OR
RE-CLASS OR WHATEVER, WHAT ARE
YOUR OPTIONS?
WHAT CAN YOU DO?
>> NOW -- WAIT, WHOA, WHOA.
WATCH OUT. HOT FOOD.
>> PLEASE BLESS THIS FOOD TO
NOURISH OUR BODY.
PLEASE BE WITH THOSE FAMILIES
THAT ARE LESS FORTUNATE, AND
THANK YOU FOR THE DAY.
AMEN.
>> ALL RIGHT.
>> AMEN.
>> [ SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY ]
>> BEING ALIVE.
>> [ LAUGHS ]
>> BEING ALIVE.
I'M NOT A BIG FAN OF
THANKSGIVING, BUT I JUST KNOW
THAT -- YOU KNOW, I JUST DO IT.
THERE'S PEOPLE WHO CAN'T DO IT
WHO WOULD LOVE TO.
THINKING ABOUT ANDY'S TABLE, YOU
KNOW, MY BUDDY...AND HIS FAMILY.
THEY GOT THEIR EMPTY CHAIR, AND
I KNOW GOOD AND WELL THEY'RE
FEELING THAT ON DAYS LIKE TODAY,
SO...IT'S A BIG DEAL.
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]
>> IT'S EASY.
>> BUT YOU JUST LEARNED THAT
NOW, SINCE YOU'VE BEEN IN THE
STATES?
>> YEAH, TWO DAYS AGO?
I'VE NEVER TRIED THAT.
[ CHUCKLES ]
THAT'S THE STATES.
>> IT'S ALMOST AS BAD AS
CRANDALL.
>> HE'S TAKING OVER.
>> THIS IS THE TRUE AMATEUR
DOCUMENTEUR.
>> WE'D GET INTO IT SOMETIMES,
AND I'D BE LIKE, "YOU KNOW,
YOU'VE CHANGED.
YOU'RE NOT THE SAME GUY.
YOU'RE -- YOU'RE DIFFERENT.
YOU KNOW, YOU USED TO DO THIS.
YOU USED TO BE THE GUY THAT --"
AND I KNOW HE'S THINKING TO
HIMSELF, "I WANT TO BE THAT.
WHY AM I LIKE THAT?"
BUT HE'S NOT REAL OPEN WITH ME
ABOUT IT.
WE DON'T SIT DOWN AND HAVE LONG
DISCUSSIONS.
I MEAN, IT'S MORE, YOU KNOW,
FIGHTING.
I MEAN, WE DO A LOT OF THAT.
WE DO A LOT OF DISAGREEING AND,
YOU KNOW, OR NOT TALKING.
AND SO, YOU KNOW, IT'S GOT TO
THE POINT WHERE WE'RE SEEING
MARRIAGE COUNSELING.
YOU KNOW, IT'S KIND OF SCARY.
BUT HE DOESN'T -- I DON'T --
SOMETIMES, I DON'T KNOW, YOU
KNOW, LIKE WHAT HE THINKS OR
WHAT HE'S REALLY FEELING.
IF IT WASN'T FOR FLYING AND THE
DOCTORS' APPOINTMENTS, I MEAN,
IT WOULD BE PRETTY BAD.
BUT...HE EVEN TOLD ME, "YEAH,
YOU KNOW, I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M
GOING THROUGH, JOANNA.
YOU JUST GOT TO BE PATIENT.
YOU JUST GOT TO, YOU KNOW,
UNDERSTAND AND BE SUPPORTIVE
AND --" YOU KNOW?
>> TORREY WAS ALLOWED TO RETURN
HOME TO BE WITH HIS FAMILY AND
RECEIVE TREATMENT FROM CIVILIAN
DOCTORS, AND JOSH, SEAN, AND
RYAN WERE STILL AT THE HOSPITAL,
BUT THEY WERE ALL WAITING THE
RESULTS OF MEDICAL EVALUATION
BOARDS THAT WERE GONNA DETERMINE
WHETHER OR NOT THEY GOT TO STAY
IN.
AND SO, AT THAT POINT, I LEFT
THEM AT THE HOSPITAL AND BEGAN
TO ACTUALLY EDIT THE FILM.
I HAD SO MUCH FOOTAGE THAT I
NEEDED TO LOOK AT.
AND AFTER A COUPLE MONTHS, I
WENT BACK TO THE HOSPITAL TO
CATCH BACK UP WITH THEM, BUT I
DIDN'T REALLY KNOW WHAT TO
EXPECT.
[ BIRDS CHIRPING ]
[ DOG BARKS ]
[ DOOR CREAKS ]
[ DOG BARKS ]
>> DO IT FAST.
AAH.
>> THAT'S HOW THEY DID IT.
THEY DID IT IN YOUR MIDDLE SPINE
AGAIN.
>> SLEEP'S THE SAME.
I LAY IN BED FOR 12 HOURS, BUT
I'LL PROBABLY ONLY SLEEP FOUR
HOURS.
SOME SAY IT'S PTSD.
SOME SAY IT'S DEPRESSION.
SOME SAY IT'S, YOU KNOW, JUST,
UH...
UM...
THE PAIN.
I DEFINITELY SEE A CHANGE IN MY
DEMEANOR.
YOU KNOW, I'M NOT AS...
I GUESS THAT...I'M NOT AS
PLEASANT TO BE AROUND SOMETIMES.
>> ALL RIGHT.
>> HOW LONG IS THE FLIGHT?
>> ABOUT NINE HOURS TOTAL.
IT'S THREE HOURS TO L.A., AND
THEN ABOUT SIX HOURS AND SOME TO
HAWAII.
>> [ SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY ]
[ SIGHS ]
OHH. [ GRUNTS ]
AND THESE SOCKS DON'T MATCH...
I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT I WANT TO DO
RIGHT NOW.
I HAVE NO CLUE HOW I'M GONNA
FIGURE OUT WHAT I WANT TO DO
RIGHT NOW, AT ALL, PERIOD.
MAYBE ONE DAY.
>> HAVE LOW-FUNCTIONING AREAS IN
THE MATH APTITUDE, OKAY?
AND THEN WE ALSO LOOKED AT THE
APTITUDE RESULTS THAT YOU HAD,
OKAY?
NOW, PROTECTIVE, WHERE YOU HAD
A HUNDRED PERCENTILE -- THOSE
ARE AREAS -- THOSE ARE ACTUALLY
JOBS WHERE YOU HAVE AN INTEREST
IN WORKING WITH AUTHORITY,
PROTECTING PEOPLE AND PROPERTY,
OKAY?
BECAUSE OF YOUR TBI INJURY, IT'S
GONNA LIMIT YOU TO JOBS IN THAT
AREA, OKAY?
>> I UNDERSTAND THE PROCESS.
I UNDERSTAND HOW IT DOES HELP,
IN A WAY.
BUT, LIKE, THE ONE THING THAT
SHE HAD WAS, "YOU CANNOT --
DON'T APPLY FOR THESE JOBS.
YOU CANNOT, YOU KNOW, 'CAUSE WE
DON'T WANT TO -- WE DON'T WANT
TO GET YOUR CONDITION WORSE THAN
WHAT IT IS."
BUT HOW WOULD THEY KNOW, YOU
KNOW, THAT IT'S GONNA GET --
WHAT'S GONNA GET MY CONDITION
WORSE THAN WHAT IT IS OR NOT,
YOU KNOW?
>> OKAY.
>> I DON'T REALLY UNDERSTAND
THAT, BUT, OKAY.
>> WHAT IS IT YOU DON'T
UNDERSTAND?
>> WHENEVER YOU'RE READING THIS,
DID YOU EVER FIND YOURSELF
ZONING OUT?
>> YES.
>> OKAY.
WHICH, YOU KNOW, I'M ASSUMING
'CAUSE OF THE CONCENTRATION
PROBLEMS, THAT YOU WOULD FIND
YOURSELF ZONING OUT.
WHAT DID YOU DO?
>> I WOULD JUST SNAP BACK AND
GO -- TRY TO GO BACK TO THE LAST
POINT THAT I REMEMBERED READING.
>> OKAY.
>> SOMETIMES, IT WAS -- TOOK ME
A LITTLE BIT LONGER TO REALIZE I
WAS DOING IT THAN -- THAN I WAS.
THE NEXT CHALLENGE FROM WORK IS
I AM EDITING.
THEY WERE LIKE, "HAVE YOU DONE
EDITING?"
I WAS LIKE, "YEAH."
THEY HANDED ME LIKE HALF OF THE
NEXT MAGAZINE.
>> OKAY.
>> THEY WERE LIKE, "WE JUST NEED
YOU TO PROOF AND EDIT."
I WAS LIKE, "OHH."
[ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING ]
>> THE MORE TIME I SPENT WITH MY
[CLEARS THROAT] MY FAMILY AND
STUFF, YOU KNOW, THE MORE THEY
NOTED THAT I WAS DIFFERENT.
IT'S AFFECTED MY MARRIAGE. UM.
MY -- MY MARRIAGE ISN'T DOING
GOOD AT ALL.
WE'RE ACTUALLY WORKING ON
GETTING A DIVORCE.
>> DID I TELL YOU I TOOK A TEST?
>> YEAH.
>> OKAY. WELL, SHE WENT OVER THE
TEST RESULTS WITH ME.
YOU KNOW, THEY DO, ESSENTIALLY,
JUST TO SEE WHAT YOUR INTERESTS
ARE AND WHATNOT.
AND SHE GAVE ME ALL THIS STUFF
TO DO, LIKE...I GOT TO GO ONLINE
AND FILL OUT SOME PAPERWORK.
I GOT TO -- I GUESS I GOT TO
REGISTER MYSELF WITH THE V.A.
I HAVEN'T DONE THAT YET.
I HAVEN'T REALLY DONE NONE OF IT
YET.
LIKE, THEY MAKE IT SEEM SO EASY.
YOU KNOW, "OH, SO, WHAT YOU WANT
TO BE?
YOU KNOW, LET'S FIND OUT
SOMETHING YOU WANT TO BE."
AS IF BEING A SOLDIER IS NOT
WHAT I WANTED TO BE, YOU KNOW?
YOU KNOW, IT'S ROUGH.
IT'S HARD.
IT'S HARD TO DEAL WITH.
THIS IS THE FIRST TIME WHERE
IT'S BEEN JUST KIND OF LIKE
DEPRESSING, YOU KNOW?
JUST, YOU KNOW?
LIKE, SOMEBODY ASKED ME WHY WAS
I ANGRY.
I'M NOT REALLY ANGRY.
I'M MORE DISAPPOINTED, YOU KNOW?
>> MM-HMM.
>> AND IT HAS BEEN A LONG TIME
SINCE I FELT THIS MUCH
DISAPPOINTMENT.
>> WELL, BE SAFE.
I'M GLAD YOU'RE BETTER.
>> I KNOW. ME TOO.
I'LL SEE YOU AGAIN SOON.
>> I LOVE YOU.
CALL ME WHEN YOU GET THERE,
OKAY?
>> I WILL.
>> HAVE YOUR I.D. AND BOARDING
PASSES READY.
>> HI.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> I WENT INTO THE PROCESS OF
MAKING THE FILM REALLY EXPECTING
TO FIND THE WORST POSSIBLE
OUTCOMES, I MEAN, BECAUSE THERE
WERE SO MANY UNKNOWNS ABOUT THE
INJURY.
I REALLY EXPECTED THAT GUYS
WEREN'T GONNA GET ANY BETTER.
AND AFTER BEING THERE FOR SO
LONG, WHAT I LEARNED IS THAT
THERE ARE DEFINITELY GAPS IN
TREATMENT, AND THERE ARE SO MANY
UNKNOWNS, THAT DOCTORS DON'T
ALWAYS HAVE THE RIGHT ANSWERS.
I MEAN, IT IS DEFINITELY A
TRIAL-AND-ERROR PROCESS.
AND UNFORTUNATELY, I THINK
THAT'S REALLY DETERRING A LOT OF
GUYS FROM GETTING THE HELP THAT
THEY NEED.
I MEAN, WE KNOW NOW THAT OVER
HALF OF THOSE WHO ACTUALLY HAVE
THESE SYMPTOMS ARE ACTUALLY
GOING INTO TREATMENT, SO I THINK
IT'S REALLY IMPORTANT FOR
SOLDIERS TO KNOW AND FOR
CIVILIANS TO KNOW, AS WELL, THAT
THIS IS SOMETHING THAT CAN BE
TREATED AND THAT YOU CAN RECOVER
FROM.
BUT IT'S ONLY GONNA HAPPEN IF
YOU'RE WILLING TO COME FORWARD
AND AT LEAST START THE TREATMENT
PROCESS.
AND I THINK, AS A COUNTRY, WE
NEED TO ALSO HOLD OUR GOVERNMENT
TO THEIR PROMISE OF TAKING CARE
OF OUR WOUNDED, AND WE DO THIS
BY CONTINUING TO FUND THE
RESEARCH INTO THESE INJURIES AND
TO CONTINUE TO EXPAND THE
TREATMENT THAT'S AVAILABLE TO
WOUNDED VETERANS, 'CAUSE THIS IS
SOMETHING THAT'S NOT JUST GONNA
END ONCE THESE WARS ARE OVER.
>> THIS IS -- YEAH, THIS IS THE
DINING ROOM THAT WE KIND OF
MADE.
THIS WALL ORIGINALLY JUST CAME
STRAIGHT THROUGH HERE, SO WE
JUST PUSHED THIS WALL BACK A
LITTLE BIT AND HAD IT KIND OF DO
AN ARC, AND WE REALLY, REALLY
LIKE IT, AND IT'S KIND OF MADE A
GOOD AREA FOR US TO EAT.
>> THE ARMY FINISHED UP ITS
MEDICAL REVIEW BOARD, AND, YOU
KNOW, NOW I'M MEDICALLY RETIRED,
AND THAT PROCESS TOOK ABOUT A
YEAR.
>> THIS WAS OUR OLD STORAGE
ROOM, AND NOW IT'S GOING TO BE
THE BABY'S ROOM.
I AM DUE MAY 2nd, SO I AM ABOUT
15 1/2 WEEKS ALONG RIGHT NOW.
AND IN ABOUT FOUR MORE WEEKS,
WE'LL GET TO FIND OUT IF IT'S A
BOY OR A GIRL.
>> YEAH, I'M KIND OF SPLIT DOWN
THE MIDDLE THERE.
AND THEY CORDONED THE ROAD IN
FRONT OF ME.
I JUST SAT IN MY CAR.
THEY JUST CAME BY, STOPPED,
LOOKED AT ME, AND WENT ON.
I WAS LIKE...
>> ...IS THE ONLY THING...
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> I KNOW. TALK IT UP.
>> THAT WAS A SEXTON.
WHO'S NOT FAMILIAR WITH A
COMPASS?
[ SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY ]
SO RIGHT THERE, RIGHT?
>> THIS BOX IS THE AIR FORCE.
[ BIRDS CALLING ]
[ APPLAUSE ]
>> THAT WAS COOL, MAN.
>> WAS THAT FUN?
>> YEAH.
>> WHERE DO YOU -- WHERE DO YOU
WANT TO PUT THIS SO THAT WE
DON'T RUIN IT?
>> MY FOREHEAD.
>> YOU KNOW, LEAVE IT ALL UP TO
ME.
SINK OR SWIM.
>> THAT'S RIGHT.
>> YOU KNOW, I CAME IN FOR ONE
REASON, AND THAT ONE REASON WAS
TO SERVE AND TO GO OVERSEAS.
[ SNIFFLES ]
IF I'M NOT GONNA DO THAT OR BE
ABLE TO DO THAT, THEN I WANT TO
BE OUT AND GET BACK ON WITH MY
LIFE.
I STILL -- I STILL DON'T SLEEP
REAL GOOD.
I STILL -- I STILL AM PRETTY
GROUCHY.
BUT NOT LIKE I WAS BEFORE.
>> IS IT DONE?
PLEASE.
>> HERE. TEST IT.
>> RIGHT THERE.
[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]
>> HELLO?
THERE SHE IS. [ LAUGHS ]
HEY!
>> HI! COME IN!
HOW ARE YOU?!
>> ALL RIGHT.
>> OH! LONG TIME, NO SEE!
COME ON IN. COME ON IN.
THIS IS OUR HOUSE.
>> THIS IS NICE.
THIS IS GREAT.
>> I DON'T WANT TO FREAK YOU
OUT, BUT THAT'S SOME -- THAT'S
NATE'S CREMATION UP THERE.
>> OKAY.
>> SO HE GOT CREMATION?
>> YEAH, YEAH.
>> THERE'S ONE THERE, AND
THERE'S ONE IN HERE.
AFTER YOU GUYS HIT THE IED,
THEY WERE OUT OF CONTROL, AND
THEY FOUND A FEMUR AND A KNEECAP
OR SOMETHING, AND THEY HAD TO
SEND IT BACK.
>> OH, WOW.
>> AND THEN I HAD TO SIGN
PAPERS -- ANYTHING THEY WOULD
FIND AFTERWARDS TO BE CREMATED
AND SENT BACK TO US.
>> IN THE DAY BEFORE WE RODE
OUT, THE MAIL TRUCK CAME IN, AND
THEY JUST DROPPED THE MAIL DOWN,
AND WE HAD TO ROLL OUT.
WE COULDN'T, YOU KNOW, GO GET
OUR MAIL.
WE HAD TO GO.
AND I REMEMBER US JUST BEING,
LIKE, REAL, "OH, CAN'T WAIT TO
GET BACK, CHECK THAT MAIL."
EVERYBODY WAS KIND OF HAPPY,
BECAUSE IT WAS, LIKE, THE MAIL
DAY, YOU KNOW?
I REMEMBER THAT.
>> UH-HUH.
>> AND THAT'S IT.
>> YEAH.
>> I DON'T REMEMBER --
I DON'T REMEMBER AN EXPLOSION.
I DON'T REMEMBER, REALLY, NONE
OF -- YOU KNOW?
LIKE, SOME PEOPLE SAID THEY SEE
A FLASH OF LIGHT AND ALL THAT.
I JUST REMEMBER PAIN.
>> THAT WAS NUMBER ONE.
I'M A TEACHER, SO YOU CAN
TELL -- NUMBER ONE.
NUMBER TWO WAS I NEEDED TO
TOUCH YOU.
[ Voice breaking ] BECAUSE
YOU'RE THE LAST PERSON...
YOU'RE THE LAST PERSON BY HIM,
YOU KNOW?
SO YOU'VE HELPED ME.
YOU'VE HELPED ME.
>> YOU HELPED ME A LOT.
I REALLY, LIKE...
>> THAT I CAN TOUCH YOU.
>> I WAS KIND OF WORRIED, LIKE,
COMING.
I WAS LIKE, "WHAT DO YOU SAY?"
YOU KNOW?
"WHAT DO YOU SAY?"
LIKE, I DON'T WANT US TO BE LIKE
A CLICHé, YOU KNOW, LIKE...
I JUST DON'T, 'CAUSE HE'S WORTH
WAY MORE THAN THAT TO ME THAN A
CLICHé.
AND I APPRECIATE IT.
I'M GLAD I CAME HERE.
>> I'M GLAD YOU DID, TOO.
>> I'M GLAD I MET YOU.
THANK YOU.
>> I WAS...THERE...
I JUST WANTED TO GO THERE AND
TELL HIM MY IDEAS.
LIKE, WE GET OUR IDEAS
SOMEWHERE, TYPE IT UP, THROW IT
IN AN E-MAIL.
>> [ SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY ]
THAT'S HOW I REMEMBER -- VIPER.
>> VIPER.
>> YEAH.
>> THANKS FOR BRINGING ME OUT
HERE.
>> [ Voice breaking ] YOU'RE
WELCOME.
THANKS FOR COMING.
I JUST DON'T WANT YOU TO
CARRY...NATHAN'S DEATH SO HEAVY
IN YOUR HEART.
YOU HAD NO CONTROL OVER IT THAT
DAY.
[ SNIFFLES ]
NO ONE DID.
I'M JUST GLAD THAT YOU GOT TO
WALK A PATH WITH HIM.
>> [ BREATHES DEEPLY ]