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Well, batton down the hatches, because we’re about to hit some rough waters. I don’t
know if the consistently positive news headlines about pot are being spoonfed to us by the
illuminati, Anonymous, freemasons, or those creepy Crossfit people, but it seems Colorado
is devolving into a terrifying, terrifying Utopia.
If we’re to believe the hype, allegedly Colorado’s legal marijuana market has taken
the expectations of voters, lit them on fire, and smoke them into oblivion. It’s always
been said that if you legalize marijuana, and you tax the crap out of it, you could
get a lot of money while reducing crimes. But now Governor John Hickenlooper has released
a budget proposal that shows the first official estimate on how much Colorado is making from
the dojha. Next fiscal year, it’s expected that taxes
from pot will produce about $98 million, as opposed to the $70 million voters thought
they’d get when they approved the devil’s herb not long ago.
If you do the math, that’s mmmore.
So how does it work? Well, one buys marijuana without the fear of arrest, and on top of
the price comes a 12.9% tax, unless it’s medicinal, which bumps the tax down to 2.9%.
Now, over in Washington, they’re expecting to get, like, $190 million over the next several
years. So how are they gonna spend this money in
Colorado? They’re gonna try to keep youts (youths…) that’s what I said, yoots, from
using pot, as well as other substance abuse prevention programs. A good portion will also
go toward public health, which I’m assuming means reminding people to still go to work
and, like, contribute to society. Hickenlooper stated, “We view our top priority as creating
an environment where negative impacts on children from marijuana legalization are avoided completely.”
Oh so kids shouldn’t use pot? Pfft…. I love how child discrimination is just okay,
you know? It’s like… children are people too, if you blur your eyes like this.
So guys… you know what to do. Talk about it and crap.