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Dear self, Hey, buddy! It's me, Peter!
So, let's talk about you. You've been officially out of the Navy for a month now, and you've
done a ***-up job at re-acclimating to civilian life. You've been sleeping in like a champion,
the obligatory facial hair has become well-established, and you keep finding yourself sweeping your
hair out of your face. Bravo Zulu, shipmate.
But all is not well in Paradise. I couldn't help but notice that over the past month or
so, you've been getting a little more tired, a little more anxious, a little more restless.
Hell, you're putting on weight again that you just celebrated getting rid of this January.
But don't freak out!
In case you forgot, let me remind you that you just made one of the biggest transitions
-- in. your. life. Military life did some good things for you -- you found stability
and learned the value of finding and following a routine that you just didn't have before.
And it was great, because you were always held accountable! This worked for you because
you don't like letting others down. (plus, let's face it -- it's easy to stay accountable
when not following a routine means you end up prison. Ah, the joys of an effective incentive.)
But now it's just you. You won't be considered "UA" if you don't show up to school; the feds
won't send out the dogs to try and track you down if your teacher doesn't hear from you
in two hours. Sure, you might be missed -- but it'll be an afterthought, or a mark in a book
somehwere. Yes, if you really wanted to, you could hop on a plane today and fly to another
country, and nobody would even bat an eyelash.
In short: you're an adult, and you do what you want.
This is going to take some adjusting to, I know. So I'm here to help. Let's think about
what you can do to get back into the groove of things -- because you have a lot of really
good ideas, and big goals and dreams, but all of this newfound freedom can be a little
overwhelming.
Remember when you were at DLI, studying chinese for 12 hours a day? Remember what you did
to stay sane? You'd get up at 530am, you'd get ready for your day and have a good breakfast.
You'd get to class early to cram for the vocab quizzes, and then 7 hours hours later you'd
get out of class. You'd go to the gym for an hour to an hour and a half each day and
just burn energy. And then you'd start your evening study routine -- and it felt great.
By the time you went to bed, you were physically and mentally exhausted, and you would sleep
the best seven and a half hours of your life, every night, waking up the next morning feeling
like a million bucks.
You can do all of this again, Just make it happen.
Ah, but therein lies the trouble -- "make it happen." I can tell you to make it happen
over and over again -- you tell yourself that all the time -- and yet, it doesn't. I don't
know how you're gonna make this work, but i know you can. You've done it before, and
you can do it again.
So. How are we gonna do this? Well, to start, maybe cleaning house a little bit would not
be a bad thing. The sink needs emptying, and the beer bottles and frozen pizza boxes could
use disposing of. And your living room? Well. All those Amazon boxes need breaking down
and depositing into the trash receptacle. Because, you know, it never hurts to not live
in squalor -- and it's a lot easier to keep things clean when that's the default.
Next. Force yourself to actually get up early. Maybe not 530 -- let's not be abusive, after
all -- but 630 would do just fine. Put your alarm clock in the living room so that you
have to get up in the morning just to shut it off. Hell, wrap it in your workout clothes
the night before! You know that that alarm clock app you have on your phone that won't
let you turn it off until you've done some math problems? Time to bring it back.
Next, gym first thing in the morning, before breakfast, or coffee, or anything. There is
nothing on the internet that you absolutely have to do before 8am -- not if you actually
start doing your homework the night before like you should be. You don't have a bad diet;
you're just gaining weight because your metabolism's dropping. And that's because you're not as
active as you could be.
Once you're done in the gym, go home, take a shower, and start doing Khan Academy again.
I know you haven't touched it in a few weeks, and I know you're disappointed in yourself
about that -- so do something about it.
And then, once all this stuff that you NEED to do is done, do your thing on the internet
for a bit. Then, skip the bus and walk to school. Walk home. Do homework. Sure, don't
forget to eat and have some fun, but do what you need to do first, and save fun for after
you've done what you need to do.
Remember, the whole point of all of this is that you need to establish yourself a routine.
And now that you're more or less retired -- at least for the next year or so -- you need
to do these things for yourself above all -- not anyone else, but you. Really, that's
who you should have been this for the entire time. I know it's not going to be easy, but
it's necessary. The Navy gave you all the tools and all the experience to know what
works for you, so, let's make this happen.
You can do it.
I believe in you.
Much love, Peter