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October 26, 2011 What's your problem?
By Rollo Tomassi
"Good decisions come from experience, and experience comes from bad decisions."
One of the major hurdles I had to really come to terms with when I decided to start getting
involved with the new male paradigm was why I was so passionate about it in the first
place. Ever since I began contributing at SoSuave and the manosphere in general, I've
always tried to make a point of not emphasizing my past *** and relational experiences
to base more global ideas upon. Women's default position is to do just this; personalize the
instance to come to a universal conclusion. Not only is it the pinacle of solipsism to
think your experience should define the frame for everyone else, but it myopically ignores
that exception usually prove a rule.
That was my basis for not wanting to relate too much of my own experiences. People can
draw too easy a conclusion from the conditions that molded your point of view. This is actually
one of the easiest ways to read a woman because their experiential sense of self-importance
tends to define their reality. I wanted a more pragmatic approach, and this all came
at a time for me when I decided to add a second major to my university studies -- behavioral
psychology with an emphasis on personality studies. Game, or what would become Game,
influenced this decision for me. I wanted to know how the TV worked instead of that
it just worked when I turned on the power.
All that said, I was still left with the question, why the *** do you even give a *** whether
guys unplug? I unplugged without the support of an internet community of Men comparing
experiences, why even bother? I have had what most Men would consider a very good marriage
for over 15 years now. I have a whip-smart daughter, I make good money, I'm successful
at what I do, I'm well travelled, why is it so *** important to make my voice heard?
It's when I'm forced to answer questions like this that I have no choice but to apply my
own personal experiences to the equation. I'm loathe to do so because it's far too easy
for critics to mold them into some purpose that serves their perspective -- he's bitter,
he got burned, this is his catharsis, he's vindictive, etc. However, it's necessary to
present these experiences as observations for a better understanding. I wont pretend
to be unbiased, no one is, but I do take the pains to be as self-analytical as I can in
what I offer.
So you want to know what my problem is?
My problem is living in a world teeming with young men who've become so conditioned to
believing that anything remotely masculine is to be ridiculed, vilified and subdued until
they have no concept of what it truly entails much less pass off even the possibility that
it could be something positive and attractive.
My problem is when a personal, AFC friend swallows a bullet because he literally "can't
live without" the girlfriend who left him.
My problem is watching a pastor's pretty wife leave him and 4 children so she can pursue
her hypergamy after 18 years of marriage because he pedestalized her and deprecated himself
every day of their marriage.
My problem is when a 65 y.o. life-long chump cries in my lap about how he's been consistently
blackmailed with his wife's intimacy for the past 20 years of their marriage and wont man-up
for fear of losing her.
My problem is talking a close friend out of killing the wife he married too young at 19
and the man she just cheated on him with in the parking lot of the motel he's spent all
night tracking her down to find with their 3 children crying in the backseat of their
minivan at 4am.
My problem is civilly sitting down to Thanksgiving dinner with a hyper-religious sister-in-law
and the new millionaire husband she married just 8 months after her former AFC husband
of 20 years hung himself from a tree when she decided "he wasn't the ONE" for her. My
problem is staring at the brand new *** and Porsche she bought herself with the money
from the home he built for her that he busted his *** for just 3 months after he was in
the ground. My problem is emphatically teaching my 22 y.o. nephew how not to be the AFC his
father was, while tactfully pointing out the hypergamy of his vulgarly opportunistic mother.
My problem is watching my father, though decaying from alzheimers, still playing out the Savior
Schema in an effort to get laid that he's thought should work for his entire life at
68 y.o. My problem is watching him feebley default to a behavior that obsessively motivated
him to succeed until he was forced into early retirement at 53 and his 2nd wife left him
promptly after that.
My problem is consoling a good friend who's fathered 3 daughters with 2 wives and is being
emotionally manipulated by his 3rd (another single mommie BTW), who's become so despondent
that he dreads going home from work to deal with his personal situation and wait's with
anticipation for the weekend to be over.
My problem is counseling a guy who thought the best way to separate himself from "other
guys" was to be 'chivalrous' and date a single mommy with 3 children from 2 different fathers,
only to knock her up for a fourth kid and marry her because "it was the right thing
to do."
My problem is dealing with a 17 y.o. girl who'd just witnessed her new boyfriend being
stabbed 30+ times by her ex boyfriend because he believed "she was his soulmate" and "would
rather live in jail without her than see her with that guy."
My problem is trying to explain to 'Modern Women' that -- after 15 years of marriage,
my wife could still model swimwear and confidently respects my judgement and decisions as a Man
-- I didn't achieve this by being a domineering, 1950′s caveman-chauvinist who's crushed
her spirit, but that it is an understanding and adherence to living a positively masculine
role.
And my biggest problem is seeing 14 y.o. AFC symps all ready to sacrifice themselves wholesale
to this pitiful, mass-media fueled, pop-culture endorsed, idealized and feminized notion of
romantic/soulmate mythology, all because some other AFCs trapped in the same quicksand they
are, are affirming and co-enabling each other to further their own sinking and spred this
disease to other AFCs. It's infectious, and complacency, like misery, loves company. My
fear is that I'm only one Man, and I can't possibly be enough to kick these guys in the
*** like their AFC fathers were unable or unwilling to do.
This is why I bother. It really is a matter of life or death sometimes. Understanding
Game, for lack of a better term, how and why it functions, is literally a survival skill.
Think about the importance of the decisions we make based on uninquisitive, flimsy and
misdirected presumption we have been conditioned to believe about love, gender, sex, relationships,
etc. Think about the life impact that these decisions have not only on ourselves, but
our families, the children that result from them, and every other domino that falls as
a repercussion. We rarely stop to think about how our immediate decisions impact people
we may not even know at the time we make them. What we do in life, literally, echoes or ripples
into eternity. That's not to go all fortune cookie on you, but it is my reasoning behind
my desire to educate, to study, to tear down and build back up what most would ask, "why
October 27th, 2011 at 8:25 am I'm one of the people that asks why bother.
guys. Other than ego stroking, a motivation I have for sharing what I've learned is that
I wonder about my nephews (and my niece, as well) in this messed-up world. Especially
September 17th, 2012 at 1:53 am Good example of male thinking: your friends'
Danger & Play Donalgraeme
I am officially sick of pop music / top 40 artist versions of Christmas songs. 6 days
Rollo Tomassi @RationalMale 18 Dec @JenniferLawre15 http://tinyurl.com/mgyddjx Pixie Cut? Check.
many (Beta) men mistake masculine confidence for arrogance. They've been conditioned since
I still get no love? Maybe that's a good thing. Rollo Tomassi @RationalMale 12 Dec About
explain why guys need to drop the video games & *** & man up when girls need more influence
@tuthmos hey I know that pic http://therationalmale.com/2013/09/10/the-male-experience/ ... Rollo Tomassi @RationalMale 3 Dec The Desire
Tomassi @RationalMale 28 Nov Heheh,. http://www.funnymemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/Funny-memes-real-men-have-curves.jpg ... Rollo Tomassi @RationalMale 27 Nov Women
comments @ReturnOfKings Rollo Tomassi @RationalMale 26 Nov Just in time for the Black Friday gift
24 Nov Finally finished Tomassi's book. Yes, it's very good. Rollo Tomassi @RationalMale
22 Nov @rooshv In about a week the cubelings will be hungry again: http://www.returnofkings.com/21659/i-got-suspended-from-twitter-after-receiving-death-threats#comment-1134891313 ...
Us What Imperfect, Un-Photoshopped Bodies Look Like http://huff.to/1bQr0rU via @HuffPostStyle
Seacrest Men Withd...: http://youtu.be/FW4q5mcMP_8 via @youtube View media Rollo Tomassi @RationalMale
approved request for sections of the book to be translated into Portuguese for growing
like women do RT: Then why do you always screech if the thermostat is set 2 degrees colder?
Rollo Tomassi @RationalMale 13 Nov Heheh,..http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ij69NeNgdB8 ... the comments are pretty good too View media
Black @LasherDeviance 6 Nov @RationalMale Rollo, I picked up the book last month. Just
5 Nov More corroboration http://tinyurl.com/mmumwgk of the Pheromonal Beta theory http://tinyurl.com/mzfl9zt
via @HuffPost50 Well, look whats blowing up my numbers this morning,.. View summary Rollo
Seville @michael_seville 29 Oct Unsurprisingly, @RationalMale's book is great (I'm only at
24 Oct Q: "How long does it take for an average man to become good at Game?" A: "Average men
22 Oct Women love an Alpha: http://nbcnews.to/1bbWDcZ Insanity Plea: http://tinyurl.com/mpyzhrm
thanks, already saw it at SSM's blog Rollo Tomassi @RationalMale 18 Oct How women
a sequential structure onto his ideas via book format really helps bring out the message.
primary use is to shame men's natural arousal/attraction cues being based on physicality." http://tinyurl.com/l47hj6e
of fat shaming http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/fitspo Rollo Tomassi @RationalMale 9 Oct Used
http://tinyurl.com/lh8qy2d Rollo Tomassi @RationalMale 8 Oct FIX YOUR MAN FAST http://gator3007.hostgator.com/~fearless/sambotta.net/the-rational-male-amazon-com-top-30-by-rollo-tomassi/ ...
4 Oct MORE TROUBLE FOR AMERICA'S MOST PROMINENT MALE FEMINIST: Pasadena College Asks Hugo
Tomassi @RationalMale 2 Oct @manosphereradio I think you meant "tome" heheh. I can make
1 Oct @rooshv thanks Roosh Rollo Tomassi @RationalMale 1 Oct @rooshv insufficient data, head shots
Game goes bad: http://gawker.com/guy-breaks-up-with-girl-by-text-girl-publicly-shames-g-1389989148 ... View photo Rollo Tomassi Rivelino @alpharivelino
this be a lesson to you ladies, don't chop off your long hair: http://coed.com/2013/09/18/eiza-gonzalez-sexiest-pics/#photo=1 ...
Tomassi @RationalMale 18 Sep 'On the brink': Many working moms falling apart, author says
View summary Rollo Tomassi @RationalMale 11 Sep "Red Pill Women" bloggers are what
- cheap crowdsourced design = amateurish logo Rollo Tomassi @RationalMale 6 Sep Women
I intimidate men" the classics never die do they? Rollo Tomassi @RationalMale 4 Sep
cover, but I just finished last spell check edits. Rollo Tomassi @RationalMale 30 Aug
opinion challenging her own Rollo Tomassi @RationalMale 26 Aug Women have boyfriends
fat acceptance Tues, fats kill us Thurs. View summary Rollo Tomassi @RationalMale 15
@RationalMale 13 Aug Compare & contrast: http://tinyurl.com/lcq724x comments with
blogs for women. We incubate them, other people cash in on them. Rollo Tomassi @RationalMale
Rollo Tomassi @RationalMale 7 Aug This is why the manosphere cannot allow women to
6 Aug No I don't dance ballet. Yes, I *** up on legs day. Yes, *** you it hurts like
I'm catching up Rollo Tomassi @RationalMale 6 Aug @LorenzoBaccala sure Rollo Tomassi @RationalMale
make a powerful ally Rollo Tomassi heartiste @heartiste 2 Aug Hugo Schwyzer has gone
2 Aug Rollo, why did u pull last nights post? Lets just say Nick Krauser was right. Thanks
Danger! Hugo Schwyzer, the ultimate male feminist, gets caught following in Anthony ***'s
feminists? http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2013/07/26/did-commenter-kate-meet-her-fiance-at-chateau-heartiste/#comment-461671 ... View photo Rollo Tomassi @RationalMale
Jul Matt King is the Hillsboro Baptist Church of the manosphere. Only the signs say, God
right? http://www.nbcnews.com/health/too-fat-rescue-more-heavy-patients-denied-air-ambulances-6C10485763 ... via @nbcnewshealth View summary Rollo Tomassi
and it failed. http://www.slate.com/articles/double_x/doublex/2013/06/what_do_women_want_sex_according_to_daniel_bergner_s_new_book_on_female.html ... View summary Rollo Tomassi @RationalMale
via @NBCNewsBusiness View summary Rollo Tomassi @RationalMale 27 May @rooshv yes Rollo
Rollo Tomassi @RationalMale 17 Apr I think I believe Roosh about Iceland now: Anti-***
than I: http://www.rooshv.com/the-most-insidious-method-of-control-never-devised ... Rollo Tomassi @RationalMale 2 Apr It's
Mainstream, but it just gets twisted to serve the FI: http://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/1b2kgu/my_experience_on_bbc_news_today/ ...
Rollo Tomassi @RationalMale 19 Mar Imagine the outrage for reversing the sexes:http://www.today.com/travel/cougar-cruises-find-cubs-love-sea-1C8897922 ...
as much as Aunt Giggles would have anyone believe that both men and women want to be
But, excuse me we were talking about Ryan Seacrest. Whatever the reason, Ryan Seacrest
want to be married -- "want's" got nothing to do with it. A desire to be married and
got nothing to do with it.