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NICK: There's a sink closet.
I thought this was a closet; it's a sink.
...with a mirror, and a...what the ***?
...and a light switch.
Oh, and a weird...oh, how does...
It's like...oh god.
They look like... [phone rings]
Aw, ***!
They have these weird handles for the--
OH!--***, I thought it was coming the other way.
There's a sink closet.
I was making fun of these things.
CHRISTOPHER: For a second, it looked like piping.
NICK: I know, it...I didn't know what that was.
CHRISTOPHER: Is this a, is this a closet situation here?
NICK: Oh, I'm like, "This is the door".
CHRISTOPHER: "Oh, so what's out here?"
NICK: It's another sink!
What's the view like? Ooh...
Ooh, wow! Oh, ***! We can see right down on that...fair thing that's happening.
That's two mentions of "balls" in not very much time.
That's awesome. What is that?
CHRISTOPHER: I'm guessing this is the minibar of sorts, but I don't understand the physics of it.
NICK: Oh, there's a...ooh...
CHRISTOPHER: It says to break the tab, but there's no tab. Like, do I force?
NICK: Oh god, Chris, no!
And look at this weird piece of furniture. There's a TV.
...and then a TV.
Oh, there's a dog.
[loud ***]
[laughter]
CHRISTOPHER: The window opens, but only a little bit.
NICK: "Oh, there's a dog! WH-PSSH!"
Oh, ***, I turned it off.
Why are they in the shower?
Oh, I thought there were two of them.
CHRISTOPHER: No!
NICK: This cold air is blowing up in my business over here.
I thought it was 680 degrees.
No book of facts?
CHRISTOPHER: I can't find it.
NICK: What the *** is with this hotel?
You know, this I've never understood.
If a lamp is bringing in enough wattage to have outlets attached to it...
Chris, do you dare?!
CHRISTOPHER: I'm trying to figure this out.
NICK: How are there ads in a book?
CHRISTOPHER: How does this piece go back on?
He's just taking *** off of the TV.
Oh, god!
I'm going to steal all this ***.
[SNEEZE!]
That's my favourite sprinkler ever.
CHRISTOPHER: "All-day"..."10 to 11"
NICK: That's a very thin description of "all-day"
Chris!
Here's room service, and I took a shower, and whoo!
We just finished eating food!
There's always just utter chaos after a meal is done.
That guy's still got a big-*** line.
That guy riiiiiiiight there.
Whatever he's selling is a hot, hot item.
What? CHRISTOPHER: Big Nick's Pizza Joint?
NICK: That's what I want you to call me from now on. That whole thing.
"Big Nick's Pizza Joint"
Oh, how did this happen?
Oh, Jesus, I'm a *** retard. It's a mirror.
I'm like, "Oh, the camera got reversed, because I'm looking at myself."
I got to give a thumbs-in-the-middle to a thumbs-down to that shampoo.
Ironing shirts! At nine in the morning!
What was that? We came up with a good title for my sketch comedy show last night. What was it?
"Nick Says '***' in a Subway Stop"
That is one...wet event.
Oh, you're in silhouette.
(imitates cocking and firing a gun)
Shoot that iron gun. My spoon is too big!
"Must not have had his iron today"
Whoa!
CHRISTOPHER: Everybody loves these sounds
NICK: [imitates ironing board screeching]
Breakfast!
CHRISTOPHER: Um, care for any final chips here? NICK: No, thanks.
CHRISTOPHER: Twizzlers?
CHRISTOPHER: Groo-vay! Groo-vay!
NICK: "Groove A", that's like a preset on a keyboard.
"Kevin S. Pinchin-***", that's why your law firm hasn't taken off.