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[Johann Vento: Christian, USA]
I don’t think I’ve encountered a situation where I’ve been unable to forgive personally.
Well, in the Christian tradition there’s really a mandate to forgive.
It’s very--very clear from the preaching of Jesus and from the example of Jesus,
and so we’re taught from early on that Jesus forgave and preached forgiveness
and the prayer that Christians say every day, the Lord’s prayer, basically says I’ll forgive other people
or I’ll be forgiven by God to the extent that I forgive other people.
So it’s talked about a lot, and I think the example of Jesus and the preaching of Jesus
were things in my own religious upbringing that emphasized the importance of forgiveness.
The first example that pops into my mind of forgiveness leading to reconciliation or forgiveness
being part of the process of reconciliation--I mean--the famous example of Pope John Paul II
and his would-be assassin and his visiting him in prison and forgiving him
and that actually being something that transformed his own life.
I mean, I’m sure it transformed both of their lives, but the man who shot him as well.
So I mean, that’s a very dramatic and public example that I think happens in ordinary ways all the time.
I’ve thought about forgiveness a lot and written about it in terms of the problem of violence against women.
Some of my own work has been in that area, and I think when we talk about forgiveness
and there are actually some excellent studies of the New Testament that point this out as well,
power relationships come into play.
So Pope John Paul II was the Roman pontiff and, you know,
this was—the man who shot him was someone with certainly not as much power.
So sometimes I think down the power relationship it can be easier to forgive
without apology or it can be easier to forgive sooner,
but when you’re talking about a situation of ongoing victimization
say in a marriage or in a situation of *** violence where the power dynamic is very different,
I think it’s not wise to forgive soon and before justice
or any possibility of restitution or at least establishment of safety.
So I think there are ways in which we can say forgiveness shouldn’t come too soon.
Forgiveness has been something, it’s sort of preached as a first step.
Forgive and forget or forgive and you will help this person
overcome his actions if by your forgiveness and by your goodness.
You know, lots of wives were beaten over many years on that advice,
and I’m not sure that helped either party come to forgiveness.
So that’s why I’m much more attracted to models that emphasize accountability of the perpetrator
and some sense of trying to establish justice.
I don’t think there can be reconciliation without forgiveness.
I think there might be forgiveness without reconciliation in certain circumstances but not the other way around.