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Hello Friends - Good day!
Part-4 Sheps Recovery Just Before and Moving in to My New Home
I would just like to back a little bit again, as I like to do :)
Excuses me!
Well I started to get better in the spring of 2008.
Well in October they were stopped from doing the severe lucid dreams to me!
But about that time in October of 2008!
I was just sat in my chair, this chair, which has been done up!
In the hostel, in my room
and I had my computer on the arms of the chair, on a piece of board, a laptop.
And I was just doing stuff on that, building websites I guess!
And I was talking to spirit, which spirit orbs are with me all the time!
And I was talking to them on and off
and just jokingly, I turned round to them and said! "I CAN'T WALK ON WATER YOU KNOW!"
and it was just jokingly
and I looked back at the laptop, which was on this board on my lap!
and I looked down and there was a Flash banner in the left hand top corner that flashed up!
and it caught my eye
and I looked at it and it said!
and I have to thing about this because I have short term memory loss.
It said! "KEEP AN OPEN MIND" on the first top line
and then underneath it said! "ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE"
So I knew Father God had helped that Ad to come up at that exact movement on that Flash Banner!
So I just laughed!
You know because I knew it was Father God!
It was so in my face and obvious that it was!
So, it was Father God's sense of humour,
which he has a good one as well!
So it was funny! :)
So that went on like that.
Now we will go on another month or so!
To the end of November 2008.
Now I had been in the hostel for, however many years, twelve or so years!
and since I had been in there,
I did not really have a lot to do with my time until I got a computer!
But I used to smoke really heavily!
and before I started doing that I was smoking about twenty a day.
But then when I was in the hostel, it went up to thirty five a day!
and I had no ill affects from that.
A bit short breathed occasionally I suppose,
if I was walking too fast or running or something!
Not that I run too often :S
But, all of a sudden the end of November!
I got this chronic what I thought was smokers cough!
and I was coughing my lungs up,
I mean literally coughing them up!
I mean it was terrible!
and I though maybe I had the beginnings of emphysema
and I was forced to cut down!
and I cut down to 15 and still coughing like mad
and I cut down to ten and still coughing like mad.
In a few days this was
and then I ended up, I was on four a day
and I was still coughing, but not as badly!
and then it got better.
But every time it started getting a bit better.
It did not get completely better at all!
I started smoking more.
I could not give up! I was an addicted smoker!
So, I sort of went up the ten for a coupe of days and the cough would come back!
and I started going down again for a few days, then back up again!
I did not get much over ten or twelve a day!
Now this went on and on and on for the next few years
and is still happened today, not so severely at the moment, for a reason!
But it was these spirit in my light doing it!
But it was these spirit in my light doing it!
They were giving me, what felt like smokers cough!
and it was chronic what they were doing to me!
and this equipment can do anything to you!
Anything! Anything you can imagine, it can do to you!
They just imagine into it, what to do to me!
Into this artificial intelligence!
and it can do it exactly, duplicate anything, inside your body!
and they were making my lungs tight, really tight!
and they were making my throat tickly and they were making me cough!
You know it was really bad and that went on.
And in November of 2009!
I went for an operation, I will talk about that a bit later, on my toe.
But when I come out, they started tourchiering my toe all the time!
and they stopped tourchiering my shoulder which they had been tourchiering!
Like I got repetitive strain injury once and they kept doing that!
But also they stopped tourchiering my chest!
They were concentrating touching my toe!
and the smoker cough disappeared completely for three weeks while they were tourchiering my toe!
and then they went back to doing that again!
So I knew it was them for sure then!
But up until them I was not absolutely sure it was them!
Pretty much knew it probably was.
Anyway!
We will go back to, from the last video,
I said I had a big change in my mind!
I had realised there was a focal point, a hub in my subconscious!
and all my thoughts were collecting in this
and many of them were very touchiered!
and it was the voice on my subconscious, so to speak!
It was the channel though which, the subconscious mind,
this hub in the subconscious, communicate to you!
and I said! Its the philosopher and the artist and the inspirational talker
and this part of the subconscious!
And it was driven insane!
I mean out of its mind, twisted out of its mind!
Like most of my subconscious!
But a lot of it I had helped a little bit,
to help it get over some of its traumas
and I had many demons of my own subconscious mind, that were touchiered!
So anyway!
It asked me for help and I decided to help it!
and I started going out into my subconscious a bit more to help it!
Now that was a week before I moved in here.
Now the week I moved in here, I felt very insecure!
and it did not feel like a home to me.
I mean the place was bear, but it was a lovely flat. (Apartment)
But it did not feel like home and I still felt very insecure.
But I knew it was a knew start for me!
and I went to the church the week after I had been in here to healing
and the healer I had was actually able to hear spirit, a clairvoyant
and she said! I can here spirit going, "Hoo ra! Hoo ra! Hooray!!!"
That I had moved in here :)
So they were really pleased for me :)
and I thought, the hostel to me was a sanctuary,
but it was a place I went out of my head!
It was an insane asylum for me as well
and I hoped for a new start here!
and I had been in here about a week!
and believe it or not!
Everyday for all those years, from 1996 until I moved in here!
Every single day, I was having mental breakdowns!
I was suicidal every single day!
I was barely able to survive!
and I was like a pressure cooker mentally!
and I exploded for two hours, everyday normally!
and sometimes several hours!
Just raving out of my head in insanity, talking to spirit!
PLEASE HELP ME, PLEASE HELP ME! DO SOMETHING, DO SOMTHING! I CAN'T TAKE THIS!!!
Whatever it was, I was telling them all of my problems!
Now Su Ling my spirit wife,
stood by my side!
And she was there and there were other's that were there!
But she was there most of all!
And over those years it tool its toll on her also!
and she become quite unwell mentally.
Because of all the pressure I was trying to put onto her,
because she was the only person I trusted!
And I turned to her for helping me!
Please help me, please help me!
Do something! Get spirit to help me in some way!
But you know, it did effect her badly!
and she did suffer greatly as a consequence!
And other's come to help her, to take the load off.
But Su Ling is so devoutly loyal and conscientious!
and such a loving soul that she would not leave me :`(
and I told her at times,
please go out when I am like this, don't stay with me!
You know! Suffering loves company!
and I cannot help my mental condition, that it talks to you!
Please go and protect yourself!
and of course being as loyal as she is, she did not
and it did take its toll on her
and I was very sorry about that
But when you are mentally ill, you cannot help yourself!
So I did my Best!
But you know, as I say after a week of being in here, something changed!
Because a week before I moved in here,
I made my peace with this part of my subconscious and decided to help it!
and after a week of being in here,
I was going out of my mind everyday for the first week still,
raving to spirit!
but after a week, it stopped!!!
and I mean I do talk to spirit about my problems still, all the time now.
But after that, the pressure cooker, did not explode anymore in my mind.
I stopped raving everyday!
and instead of being insane!
and I was insane up until that point!
I was now just highly deranged, highly demented, highly insecure, many things!
But no longer insane!
So that's the change!
and you know Father God knew the right time for me to move in here!
and he helped that to happen through,
the housing trust that I was with, going to the council meetings!
and Mind the mental health charity helping me!
Father knew my destiny!
I knew it was part of my destiny to move in here
and I trusted in Father God
and he helped me to find the right place!
So! You know that was my destiny re-beginning!
and it was a big step forward not going out of your mind everyday!
Because it done my head in, you know completely listening!
Because it was my subconscious mind, taking control or my conscious mind!
and just raving its mentalities!
So and I could not control it,
I sort of pushed to one side consciously!
and you know!
It took me sometimes a couple of hours to get control back or sometimes several hours!
So it was bad! Very bad!!!
Anyway!
I will make another video on the next stage of what happened next.
So I thank you for listening!
Have a good day! Bless You!
Love and Light Shep!
Website Links and Other Links Below this Video in the Description
Bye Bye!