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(Zak Inside) What do you want?
(Curley) Uh! Television tuner service.
(Zak inside) We don't service television tuners anymore.
(Curley) I mean I need to see Fat Zak about a cell-phone adjustment.
(Zak inside) Yeah. Who sent you?
(Curley) Al Sharko.
[chains rattle]
Are you Maurice?
(Curley) Nobody calls me Maurice but my mother.
The name's Curley. Are you going to let me in?
[locks rattle]
Al called and said you'd be coming.
Let me see that thing you've brought me.
Al said you could make it smaller.
So this is Tesla's Tooth.
You know what it does?
Read people's thoughts or something.
Does it work?
(Curley thinking) It'd better. For ten thousand bucks
I'll be popping that greasy old car-booster in the top of the head.
It was working when I picked it up.
Oh yeah, it's working.
So, you can make it smaller?
I don't know. How much smaller.
The tooth thing's got to fit in my mouth.
Why would you want something like that in your mouth?
That's a secret.
Oh no, no, no. We don't do secrets here.
You tell me why you want me to do this,
or I can't help you.
Ok. I need it for a hold-em tournament in Vegas.
Oh!
I've heard some things about this gadget.
It was supposed to be in the Henry Kissinger
estate auction but it vanished.
Rumor has it that Stumpy Nixon had something to do with its disappearance.
It all starts
with this.
Hey! Careful with that.
This old metal tooth is the brainwave receiver.
It works like the detector in a shortwave radio.
But you see, Nicola Tesla
wasn't wanting to build a brainwave receiver at all.
He made this thing back when he was a student
to help him concentrate his own thoughts better.
When he realized the gadget was picking up other peoples thoughts,
he abandoned the whole idea as a failure.
Whatever!
I just want to find out who's bluffing in that Vegas game.
With this thing I can make a killing.
Really clean up.
But only if you can hide it in my mouth.
[breath bomb] Ugh!
Have you been chewing on something from an open grave?
You saying there's something wrong with my breath?
I'm saying your breath could kill a buzzard in an outhouse.
Don't be a wise guy!
Can you do the job or not?
Yeah! I can do it.
It's really not much different from what I do with cell-phones.
In your case tuning is very critical.
Set to the wrong frequency
something like this could really screw up your head.
So, what's it going to cost?
Hmm!
A cool eight thousand. You're going to want to get a dentist
to ah, take a tooth out of there to make room for it.
That's kind of pricey. I already paid ten thousand for this rig.
Besides, I don't have time for a dentist.
You're going to have to pull the tooth right here.
You can't be serious. I'm no dentist.
I may have to charge another two thousand for pulling teeth.
You're robbing me.
You might be able to find somebody else to do it for cheaper.
I don't have time.
Just pull the tooth.
Drink this!
All of it!
Stand up.
Hold this.
Open.
Now, when you're ready,
drop that coil down to the floor.
And this'll pull my tooth?
[fart] Your tooth will follow that coil down to the center of the earth.
Gravity is irresistible.
Oweoff!
Don't worry.
Bleeding always stops.
Felt like it snatched a chunk out of my brain.
Oh, don't worry.
You've got to have a brain first.
What!
Huh!
You got any ice?
No ice!
Ice machine's busted.
Drink machine doesn't want to work either.
The sodas always come out boiling hot.
Where's you get those Vanilla Cream Cookies?
Aren't those illegal?
Black market. What's it to you?
They outlawed snacks like those
to protect fat people like you from yourselves.
I don't need Food Nazis to protect me from myself.
When they find out about those Vanilla Cream Cookies
they'll put you on the train to the Fat-Farm.
Keep you there until they work you down to a healthy weight.
Here!
Plug this electric molar into that empty hole in your head.
(Zac speaks Chinese) "The Browncoats should've won that war."
All I hear is some crazy foreign language.
It sounds like Korean or Chinese!
Give it back, give it back. I think I know what it is.
Chinese transistor!
They've poisoned the discrete component market
with that substandard junk.
You're sucking down a supersized smoothie too!
Don't pay any attention to what's going on in my mouth.
You know, with all that contraband food that's in here
I might want to mention it to the food Nazis.
You might want to consider giving me a price-break on this little job.
After all I practically pulled my own tooth.
You're not paying for the gravity pal.
You're paying for somebody who knows how to use it.
Here! Try it now.
[sinister music]
Who, who are you?
(Ghost) I'm the Ghost of Rufus Bass.
I was murdered in here.
Now I never leave.
Don't mess with me!
I don't believe in ghosts.
Mess with me and I'll shoot you in the top of the head.
Kill you graveyard dead.
I'm a ghost, you welter-brain.
You can't kill me. I'm already dead.
I'm, I'm not afraid of some ghost.
Why don't you put that pea-shooter away before you shoot yourself.
What happened to your hand?
Yeah! My pal sawed it off. That's how he killed me.
Kind of left me short-handed.
That isn't funny.
Look Curley, quit being such a jerk.
Greed will take you places you don't want to go.
Curley! Curley!
Give me the tooth back.
It needs another adjustment.
I was seeing a ghost.
Oh yeah? Probably that knuckle-head
that died getting
getting his hand cut off by his friend.
That's what the ghost said.
Put that pea-shooter away before you shoot yourself.
Ghost said that too.
One more adjustment.
Hmm! I used to have one of those little robots when I was a kid.
Leave it alone.
Come on Curley. Put that back.
That's a very rare and valuable collectible.
I used to bury mine alive.
It's not that kind of toy.
Playing with a little kid's toy.
A grown man like you. You ought to be ashamed of yourself.
What are you?
Some kind of retard or something?
Come on Curley.
Worried about your little robot?
Afraid the big, bad hit-man's
going to harm your little friend?
I am!
I am worried that you're going to tear up my property. Yes!
Come on! Come on!
Don't be a jerk.
Yeah, you ought to be worried Fat Zak.
You know you could've given me a break on that tooth job
considering I practically pulled the thing myself.
But no!
You said I owe you ten kay
just so you can twiddle around with your teeny weeny tools.
Come on! I, I can give you a little break.
Heh heh. I'll show you a little break.
[robot's arm crunches]
Agh!
Now whatcha got to say Fatso?
You know you might want to fix up that tooth for free.
You know, like out of the goodness of your heart.
Alright! Alright! I can do that.You win.
The job's free.
I thought you'd see it my way.
I'll just hold onto your little friend here
until I'm satisfied with your workmanship.
Just don't break him anymore.
Now that we see eye to eye,
let's get that tooth fixed
and you can get your robot back safe and sound.
Minus the arm.
[weird radio noise]
Ok Curley. Try it now.
[weird radio noise]
You still here Curley?
Yes!
Do you know who I am?
You're Fat Zak.
From now on Curley
you are to call me Mister Zak.
Now repeat after me,
I'm the idiot who broke Mister Zak's robot.
I'm the idiot who broke Mister Zak's robot.
Very good Curley.
Now hand me back my robot and tell me you're sorry for breaking it.
I'm sorry for breaking your robot Mr. Zak.
Now Curley, give me ten thousand dollars for the tooth job
and another ten thousand for breaking my robot.
Alright fine give me that.
Alright Curley, take these Vanilla Cream Cookies
and walk over to Room one-fifteen and wait there.
Got that?
Yes Mister Zak. I'll wait at room one fifteen.
Very good Curley.
Some men wearing black shirts will come to pick you up.
When you see them,
there's something I want you to tell them.
Would you little boys like some cookies?
(Loud Nazi) Such a degenerate pervert!
What are you doing with all these Vanilla Cream Cookies anyways?
(Mean Nazi) Yeah! You old reprobate!
Now, hand over those contraband cookies.
Right now!
We're putting you on the express train to the Fat Farm.
They'll work you down to a healthy weight.
I love this job!
Yeah! And just think.
We're protecting people from themselves too.