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Well, what do I do now?
Hello, this is Cara Laxom. Who is calling?
Who do you think it is, ***? Anyway ...
Now that you're in space, I think you should dress in an appropriate outfit.
Explore the spaceship to find the closet. Bye.
Well, well. I have nothing better to do, I guess.
Sexy. But what now? Why is the spaceship stopping?
Well, well. Then I go out, I guess.
Cara, come back at once!
Ok, ok, moody ***.
Welcome to the planet Njednjetzi, Cara.
During your journey you will stop at a number of planets to do some assignments for me.
This is your first stop of god-knows-how-many.
Your mission is to prove that aliens exist, and I also want you to steal ideas from them about energy efficiency.
Everyone knows that aliens are much farther advanced in technology.
For them, we are just as retarded as you are for everyone else.
Dare not fail, I'll call your husband in a flash.
Yeah, yeah. There is only one problem in her theory: There are no aliens! So I guess I'm screwed.
Uh, nevermind. Excuse me!
This seems to be harder than I thought. Hey, wait! I won't harm you!
Oh, now you stop. Why do you run away from me?
And by the way, you don't happen to have any technology secrets to share, do you?
I'm sorry but I don't understand you. Don't you speak Swedish?
I guess that means you want me to follow you.
Oh, magnificent place. Samsir you said it was called, right?
Sure. Not that I get anything.
Just hope you said I was welcome and not that I'll be your dinner.
I guess they don't like each other that much.
This was cool! I'll try it.
Oops, I guess I'm not allowed to.
Weirdos ...
They seem to be a little weird on this planet.
Well, well. Now I ought to do my assignment. However that should be done.
The only kind person here went up and I'm not allowed to go there.
Oh, cool glasses!
Help, what's happening to me?
Ow, my head! Strangely, I feel different.
And there is one more teleporter. And now, no one sees me!
Wow, complicated stuff.
Be careful with them. They are our generators that supply the entire planet with energy.
Wow, you do speak Swedish!
No, it's you who are speaking our language. I guess you have used our education glasses. How nice that you found them.
Wow, you are really clever here.
What's your name? My name is Cara. And what about the strange queen or whatever she is?
My name is Obi-Wanda. Queen Dara Vaderia forces the entire planet's inhabitants to become slaves and clean her castle Samsir here.
It's so dirty here, that the inhabitants must breathe into a machine to get chlorine gas.
Do you breathe chlorine instead of oxygen? Good thing I have a space suit.
I think we should remedy the situation before I leave with one of your education glasses.
Why do you need them?
Oh, here are people!
Who is this, Obi-Wanda?
Hey, you want some chlorine gas, stranger?
Eh, no thanks.
But I figured, since you seem so unhappy here, you might as well go with me to the earth. We have plenty of chlorine there too.
It sounds very nice, stranger. We'll come with you.
Alright, then! Follow me everyone!
Could you then be so sweet and help me get the spaceship back to earth?
Yes, of course. It will be fun to see your planet.
Welcome to the spaceship. Well, shall we go?
Oh, what's happening?
Ugh, what happened? Where's everyone?
Zdenka! What have you done to the aliens?
Your stupid ***! You can not expect that I let you carry with you a bunch of aliens back to Earth!
Furthermore, you have not finished your assignment yet! Don't try to sneak!
For that you should have no more chances, I'll immediately bring you to the alternate Zdenka so that you finally can retrieve the rest of my heirlooms!
*Sighs* I am totally sick of this.
Seems that I have arrived now.
Cara, you are now in the alternate universe. You know what to do.
And this time you don't try anything, then I'll crush your marriage.
Yeah, I get it. The only question is whether the alternative Zdenka is as careless with her heirlooms as the standard.
Let's do this.
The second Zdenka seems anyway quite sloppy.
This must surely be the rest of the inheritance. Then I'll take it! Mission accomplished.
What a nice evening to admire my beloved heirlooms.
Damn, it's gone!
Cara, wake up immediately! My heritage has been stolen again. It must be my alter ego who has stolen it back.
We have only one set, so it's your job to retrieve it.
*Sighs* She will never be pleased.
Haha! I can not believe she bought it.
Who sacrifices life to avoid being branded a ***?
She looks after all slutty already, so it would not have made any difference.
What are you doing here, your damn intelligence freed intruder? Get off my property!
Sob, I apologize. I just came back to apologize Cara. Whatever there is to apologize for, but anyway...
Do you have any idea where she might be?
She's probably sitting somewhere and feeling sorry for herself, what do I know?
Oh please, I have no place to go!
I intended to stay with Cara until her husband's business trip was over, but then we fought.
I live as far away as California, so I have nowhere else to go.
Could I stay here just a few nights?
Ehh, what the hell. Come in. I would anyway need someone to do the dirty work in the house.
Yes, absolutely! Anything, as long as I get to sleep inside!
Ahh, now it will be good with some Icelandic dried fish crisps!
But it's so strange! How can she just disappear like that in the middle of the night?
You tell me. But another thing I find strange, is that little boys like you are still up at this time. Go to bed at once!
Okay. Not that I find my way around here, but I guess the house keeper is in charge.
What was that?!
There you are, Zdenka! Where have you been? Do you know what really happened last night? Everything was bright!
You're too young to understand.
Hey! I'm not that small!
Yes you are. Everywhere, if you get what I mean?
But I'm leaving. Clean the toilet in the meantime!
Uh yes, but... Where is the toilet?
Let's celebrate! So nice to finally be free from Cara!
I made sure the time machine cannot return to the same time as it left, but earliest in two weeks!
Ohh, a little more to the left, please.
Nananananananana, Cara, is simply, a stupid, ***, who can go, to hell. Nananananananana.
I am home!
Where have you been?
Just took care of some important matters, why? Have you cleaned the toilet?
Uh, you see, I don't know where the toilet is! I thought you didn't have one!
And you did not even have the sense to water the plants either! It amazes me that Cara even wanted to see the sight of you!
Follow me and I'll show you the toilet.
So it's an outhouse?
Here it is. It has not been cleaned for weeks, so you may hope that you don't easily get sick.
What! Is the toilet outside just like that? Oh, what disgusting!
Yes? It is environmentally friendly and cheap. You do not waste money on a bathroom and the poo lands in a box.
So if someone annoys you, just take the box and give the person a big surprise!
How disgusting!
Stop whining, your wimp, and go ahead and clean instead! Take a deep breath!
Then it was time for my daily route to ancient times. Let's see what Cara has been up to.
Handy are they, the hidden cameras. But wait! She will duel today!
It will surely be entertaining to watch, especially when she sees me!
There are quite a few videos to store. Feels like this laptop was a good investment.
What do I see! Is the stupid *** trying to smuggle a bunch of Cubs / alien freaks?
Then we spray a little gas and we let our dear Dara Vaderia make short work of them.
Cara has loyalty problems. This deserves to be punished, and now I have nothing to lose.
Now I'm done. Now I'm *** not in debt of the old lady any more. Hey, what's this?
Stephen, my dear nephew. It is with a heavy heart I tell you that your wife Cara have partied in bed with another man.
This was not easy for me to tell, but I'm really sorry.
Zdenka!
Speak of the devil.
Cara, is it true what I have heard? That you have had fun in bed with another man? Been unfaithful to me?
Stephen, I'm so sorry! But it meant nothing, I promise!
It doesn't matter. Auf Wiedersehen. Ungrateful ***!
Zdenka, your fake liar!
It was for my nephew's own good! You can not expect that I let my own flesh and blood live in a fake marriage!
Forget it! I'll go back in time and prevent that I ever had sex with Rick so that none of this would have happened!
No, Cara! Stop! You don't understand! There will be a time paradox! You can't imagine the consequences of this!
Boring! Damn dull it is to sit here and rot! What am I supposed to do?
Oh I know! I call Rick over for a little bedfun!
Hey Rick! Would you like to come over to come? Fun! Then I'll see you soon. Bye!
Wow, that was fast!
Cara! I am your future self and I just want to say: Do not have sex with Rick!
Zdenka will see you and then she'll send you away in a time machine so that ...
Oh no! Do you think she saw us, Rick?
Yes, she surely did. What a dirty lobster to chick!
But help! What if she tells my husband when he comes home from his business trip!
I will not let that happen! Come on, Zdenka!
All my valuables and heirlooms have been stolen and I would like to have them back.
If you succeed with that, I won't tell about your friend with benefits.
So, how will I ever succeed to do that?
All of my heirlooms have been lost, so you must retrieve them from my ancestors.
No, are you crazy?!
And dare not return until you've found it all! Farewell to you!
No, no!
Stop the *** music, it ruins the atmosphere!