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Jay: MAN, THIS WEATHER'S KIND OF WEIRD.
YEAH, IT'S SUNNY, BUT TOTALLY DARK OVER THERE.
[ CRASH! ]
THUNDER AND LIGHTNING!
TEENAGERS!
THE EARTH IS IN DANGER!
YOU HAVE BEEN CHOSEN TO FORM THE ULTIMATE TEAM --
GALAXY FLASH LIGHTNING PATROL!
WHOA! WHO ARE YOU?
I AM COSMOS MEGAHEAD.
RECEIVE THESE RINGS AND TRANSFORM
INTO THE FIVE-COLORED LIGHTNING PATROL!
WHAT IS IT?
ARE YOU LIKE, REALLY JUST A HEAD?
WHAT?
YES.
WHERE'S THE REST OF YOU?
LOOK, THIS ISN'T THE TIME, OKAY?
I'M COSMOS MEGA HEAD.
THERE IS NO REST OF ME.
HOW DO YOU EAT?
THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT!
NOW, HURRY. COMBINE YOUR RINGS AND FORM --
NO. I THINK IT'S A GOOD QUESTION.
HOW DO YOU EAT?
WITH MY MOUTH!
OKAY, BUT THEN HOW DO YOU DIGEST?
AND DO YOU PEE OUT OF YOUR NECK?
NO! I DON'T PEE.
EVER!
IT'S UNFORTUNATE.
I BET YOU SMELL REAL GROSS, THEN.
[ LAUGHTER ]
I SMELL FINE!
NOW, YOU REALLY SHOULD BE COMBINING YOUR POWERS NOW.
I BET WHEN WE PUT THESE RINGS ON,
WE'RE JUST GOING TO BECOME HEADS, LIKE YOU.
[ Laughing ] NO!
NO.
[ Normal voice ] OKAY. FINE. YES.
YOU'RE ALL GOING TO BECOME FLOATING HEADS.
THEN, DUDE, I'M NOT DOING IT!
THE EARTH IS IN DANGER!
Alana: WHERE?
IT'S SUNNY EVERYWHERE,
EXCEPT AROUND YOUR FLOATING HEAD.
YOU GUYS, HONESTLY, I'M SO LONELY.
HOW DID YOU BECOME THAT WAY?
ANOTHER HEAD GAVE ME A RING,
AND THEN HE JUST KIND OF FLOATED AWAY ONE DAY.
PLEASE BECOME HEADS WITH ME.
I CAN'T FIGURE OUT
HOW YOUR BRAIN DOESN'T FALL OUT OF YOUR NECK.
I DON'T KNOW.
IT IS SO BAD WHEN I HAVE AN ITCH.
I COULD SCRATCH YOUR FACE.
REALLY? COULD I COME LIVE IN YOUR GARAGE?
NEVER MIND.
WORTH A SHOT.
OKAY.
I'M GONNA GO GET SOME OTHER KIDS
TO BECOME FLOATING HEADS.
BYE!
BYE!
[ CLEARS THROAT ] [ High-pitched voice ] WOW!
IT'S SO COOL BEING A FLOATING HEAD.
I'M GLAD I LISTENED TO COSMOS MEGAHEAD
AND USED THOSE MAGIC RINGS.
SAY, YOU KIDS WOULDN'T --
NO!
[ Normal voice ] OKAY, FINE!
I AM COSMOS MEGAHEAD!
MEGAHEAD!
♪ HERE THEY COME, Y'ALL, HERE THEY COME ♪
♪ HERE THEY COME, Y'ALL, HERE THEY COME ♪
♪ HERE THEY COME, Y'ALL, HERE THEY COME ♪
♪ MY CREW, MY CREW, MY CREW, MY CREW, MY CREW, MY CREW ♪
♪ MY CREW IS INCREDIBLE ♪
♪ MY CREW, MY CREW, MY CREW, MY CREW, MY CREW, MY CREW ♪
[ Echoing ] ♪ MY CREW IS INCREDIBLE ♪
ALL RIGHT, EVERYONE,
DON'T FORGET NEXT WEEK IS SCIENCE FAIR.
SCIENCE IS FOR NERDS.
NO, IT'S NOT!
SCIENCE IS THE MOST AWESOME THING THERE IS.
BECAUSE WITH SCIENCE,
YOU CAN GET REALLY [Screaming] EXPERIMENTAL!
ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR!
♪ SCIENCE FAIR, SCIENCE FAIR ♪
♪ SEEK NEW KNOWLEDGE IF YOU DARE ♪
♪ SCIENCE FAIR, SCIENCE FAIR ♪
♪ WHAT'S STRONGER -- A TIGER OR BEAR? ♪
♪ FOLLOW ME, EVERYONE, AS I TAKE YOU AWAY ♪
♪ TO A PLACE WHERE VOLCANOS ARE MADE OUT OF CLAY ♪
♪ AT SCIENCE FAIR, LEARN THINGS THAT YOU DIDN'T KNOW ♪
♪ LIKE GET ELECTRICITY FROM POTATOES ♪
♪ CAN YOU TURN YOUR HOMEWORK INTO A GELATINOUS BLOB? ♪
♪ CAN YOU MAKE A BEARD OUT OF CORN ON THE COB? ♪
♪ CAN YOU JUMP SO HIGH THAT YOU TOUCH OUTER SPACE? ♪
♪ CAN YOU BURP INTO A BUCKET AND NOT LEAVE A TRACE? ♪
♪ SCIENCE FAIR, SCIENCE FAIR ♪
♪ SEEK NEW KNOWLEDGE IF YOU DARE ♪
♪ HOW MANY SQUID COULD YOU FIT IN TIMES SQUARE? ♪
♪ SCIENCE FAIR ♪
♪ COULD YOU TRAVEL THROUGH TIME IN A SHOPPING CART? ♪
♪ HOW MANY BURRITOS DO YOU EAT BEFORE YOU FART? ♪
♪ IS MY MOM A ROBOT? ♪
♪ IS MY DOG A GHOST? ♪
♪ WHICH PIZZA DO POLAR BEARS LIKE THE MOST? ♪
♪ SCIENCE FAIR ♪
♪ SCIENCE FAIR ♪
♪ SEEK NEW KNOWLEDGE IF YOU DARE ♪
♪ CAN YOU ROCK A GOAT TO SLEEP IN A ROCKING CHAIR? ♪
♪ SCIENCE, SCIENCE FA-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-IR ♪
♪ SCIENCE [Screaming] FA-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-IR ♪
SCIENCE!
FAIR!!
YEAH! GET PUBLISHED!
[ FARTS ]
[ Muffled ] SCIENCE.
Male announcer: AND NOW...
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATION IN NATIVE LANGUAGE ]
[ BELL JINGLES ]
[ CONVERSATION CONTINUES ]
[ BLOWS ]
HEY, OGISAN, WHAT'S THIS?
HUH?
UH, CONTROLLER. VERY SPECIAL CONTROLLER.
WORKS ON EVERYTHING.
VERY DANGEROUS.
UH, IT'S $20 -- $25.
[ CHUCKLES ] I GOTTA TRY IT.
$25.
HERE. SPECIAL ENVELOPE FOR YOU.
THANK YOU.
YOU'RE WELCOME.
[ CONVERSATION CONTINUES ]
THIS CONTROLLER DOESN'T WORK AT ALL.
[ BUTTONS CLACKING ]
WHOA! KELLY, WHAT DID YOU DO?!
MAN, MOM'S GONNA BE SO MAD WHEN SHE SEES THAT DESK.
ALMOST AS MAD AS I AM.
THIS CONTROLLER DOESN'T DO ANYTHING.
[ BUTTONS CLACK ]
WHAT?
[ BUTTONS CLACK ]
NO WAY!
[ CHUCKLES ]
MY GOSH.
THIS CONTROLLER CONTROLS MY LITTLE SISTER.
OH, MY GOSH.
THIS CONTROLLER CONTROLS MY LITTLE SISTER!
[ BUTTONS CLACKING ]
Yes!
WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?
SORRY. I WASN'T REALLY GOING --
IS THAT YOUR LUNCH?
'CAUSE I'M AWFULLY HUNGRY.
TAKE IT.
OR... WE COULD PAY YOU FOR IT.
IN PUNCHES.
[ ACTION MUSIC PLAYS ]
[ BUTTONS CLACKING ]
DARK GREAT SURGING FIST!
YOU LOSE.
THANK YOU, KELLY.
HUH.
I WONDER WHAT THE BUTTON FOR A HUG IS.
[ BUTTONS CLACK ]
HEY, OGISAN.
THIS CONTROLLER MADE MY SISTER INTO AN INCREDIBLE FIGHTER,
BUT IT ALSO TOOK AWAY HER ABILITY TO HUG.
I TOLD YOU.
VERY DANGEROUS.
SO CAN I RETURN IT?
I JUST WANT MY LITTLE SISTER BACK.
YOU WANT TO MAKE A RETURN?
YEAH.
NO PROBLEM!
BECAUSE AT OGISAN'S MAGICAL GIFT SHOP,
EVERYTHING IS MAGICAL,
INCLUDING OUR MONEY-BACK GUARANTEE!
[ BLOWS ]
SO COME ON DOWN TO OGISAN'S!
IT'S ONLY THREE BLOCKS PAST THE ABANDONED AMUSEMENT PARK.
OGISAN'S.
HEY, THIS ISN'T A FULL REFUND.
WELL, THE ITEM'S NOW ON SALE.
BUT YOUR SIGN SAYS "MONEY BACK GUARANTEE."
[ BLOWS ]
OGISAN'S!
PARDON OUR DUST. [ CHUCKLES ]
AND NOW...
MNH-MNH. MNH-MNH. NO, NO, NO, NO, NO! JEREMY!
DUDE, I AM SO BORED.
ME, TOO.
HOW 'BOUT A GAME OF --
COMPLECATRIX!
♪ EVERYBODY IN THE WORLD LOVES A GAME OF COMPLECATRIX ♪
♪ IT'S HOURS AND HOURS AND HOURS OF FUN ♪
♪ FIRST YOU ROLL THE DICE, DRAW A CARD AND PICK A COLOR ♪
♪ CHOOSE A DIRECTION TO GO -- FORWARD, BACKWARD, OR UP ♪
♪ DROP THE CAGE ON THE CAT -- EVERYONE GETS AN ENORMOUS HAT ♪
♪ COLLECT 200 EUROS TO SEE WHO GOES FIRST ♪
UH-OH! THREE FISH!
♪ IF YOU GET THREE FISH, IT'S TIME TO PLAY THE SUB GAME ♪
♪ WHERE YOU PERFORM A TINY SURGERY ON A MINIATURE MOUSE ♪
♪ NOW IT'S TIME TO FIGURE OUT THE PLAYER ORDER ♪
♪ DRAW A CARD AND HOPE NO ONE GETS THREE FISH AGAIN ♪
♪ WHEN YOU FOLLOW YOUR TURN, SWITCH SEATS TO MAKE IT EASIER ♪
♪ REMEMBER, THAT ORDER REVERSES EVERY FOUR AND A HALF TURNS ♪
[ GASPS ] I ROLLED A GIRAFFE!
♪ A GIRAFFE'S AN ANIMAL ♪
♪ THAT COMES FROM THE SOUTHERN HEMISPHERE ♪
♪ BEGIN YOUR TURN ON THE SOUTHERN-MOST BOARD ♪
♪ PLACE YOUR ARMIES AND TANKS ♪
♪ BUT DON'T FORGET TO TURN THE POPPER STOP ♪
♪ THE BOARD'LL POP UP ♪
♪ AND YOU'LL START THE WHOLE PROCESS AGAIN ♪
♪ EVERYBODY IN THE WORLD LOVES A GAME OF COMPLECATRIX ♪
♪ IT'S HOURS AND HOURS AND HOURS OF FUN ♪
♪ AND HOURS AND HOURS AND HOURS AND HOURS ♪
♪ COMPLECATRIX LASTS HOURS AND HOURS AND YEARS ♪
I'M SHAUNA.
THESE ARE HIDDEN-CAMERA GLASSES.
THIS IS FAKE SNOT.
Both: AND THIS IS...
FREE FOOD! CUPCAKES, MUFFINS, PUMPKIN PIE.
ALL FOR FREE!
THESE ARE -- [ COUGHS ]
THESE ARE DELICIOUS ONES.
OH, OKAY.
HERE. JUST TAKE ONE OF THESE.
NO. DEAR GOD.
WHAT?
[ COUGHS ]
REALLY. COME ON. PLEASE?
[ COUGHS ] SORRY. I HAVE A COLD. HERE YOU GO.
OH, GOODNESS ME.
[ COUGHS ] DO YOU WANT ONE?
YEAH, AND WE HAVE SOME -- ALSO, I HAVE SOME CUPCAKES.
WE HAVE CUPCAKES OVER HERE.
AND WE HAVE SOME RICE KRISPIES. THOSE ARE DELICIOUS.
SOMETIMES, IT JUST DOESN'T --
DOES NOT SLIDE THROUGH SOMETIMES.
ALL RIGHT, PEOPLE.
I HAVE TO RUN TO THE OFFICE FOR A MINUTE.
I WANT ABSOLUTE SILENCE WHILE I'M GONE.
I MEAN IT.
[ TAPPING RHYTHMICALLY ]
[ POUNDING RHYTHMICALLY ]
[ ZIPPER ZIPPING ]
[ PERCUSSION BREAK PLAYS ]
[ PERCUSSION STOPS ]
DUDE, IF YOU WANT TO PARTICIPATE,
MAKE SURE YOU CAN ADD ON TO THE FLOW.
YEAH, MAN. YOU GOT TO GAUGE THE ROOM.
AMATEURS.
[ PERCUSSION BREAK PLAYS ]
[ PERCUSSION STOPS ]
I HEARD NOISE.
PUT THE FLUGELHORN AWAY, YOUNG MAN.
LET ME BE VERY CLEAR -- ABSOLUTE SILENCE.
[ RHYTHMIC TAPPING ]
[ HORN BLARES ]
[ GLASS SHATTERING ]
SHE'S GONNA BE HERE ANY MINUTE!
EVERYONE, HIDE!
SURPRISE!
WHOA! WHAT'S GOING ON?
YOU HAVE CAVITIES THAT NEED FILLING.
SURPRISE!
[ DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS ]
YOU GOT THE GOODS?
GOT ENOUGH SPITBALLS IN HERE
TO SLIME AN ENTIRE CLASSROOM.
EACH OF THESE BABIES
IS HAND-COATED AND ROLLED TO PERFECTION.
THEY'RE THE BEST.
GREAT.
HERE'S 55 CUPCAKES.
AIN'T NOTHING BETTER THAN CUPCAKES.
YOU KNOW, IF PRINCIPAL McGINNER
KNEW WHO WAS BEHIND THIS WHOLE SPITBALL RING --
WHO'S SAYING ANYTHING ABOUT PRINCIPALS?
WAIT A MINUTE.
YOU AIN'T A HALL MONITOR, ARE YOU?
AND WHAT IF I WAS?
THIS A SET-UP?
'CAUSE THAT'S A MISTAKE.
MY BOY JOHN, HERE,
IS THE BEST SPIT-BALLER IN THIS SCHOOL.
WHAT IS THIS, JOHN?
THIS A JOKE?
TURN YOURSELF IN, TONY.
YOU'RE AN UNDERCOVER HALL MONITOR.
I'M YOUR ONLY FRIEND, TONY.
I CAN CUT YOU A DEAL.
PRINCIPAL McGINNER WANTS TO EXPEL YOU.
I CAN TALK HIM DOWN TO DETENTION IF YOU GIVE ME A CHANCE.
I'M NOT GOING TO DETENTION, JOHN!
NOT AGAIN.
IT'S SO BORING IN THERE.
JOHN! NO!
I'M SUCH A NO-GOOD LOSER.
BUT YOU PROTECTED ME. JOHN, WHY?
BECAUSE I REALLY WAS YOUR FRIEND, TONY.
NOW, DO ME A FAVOR.
DON'T LET IT BE FOR NOTHING.
JOHN.
JOHN.
JOHN!!
OH! WHOA. I'M SORRY.
I FELL ASLEEP. [ CHUCKLES ]
I WAS UP ALL NIGHT STUDYING FOR THAT BIOLOGY TEST.
[ CHUCKLES ] THAT TEST. I TOTALLY FORGOT.
I'M NEVER SELLING SPIT BALLS EVER AGAIN.
[ PAPER CRUNCHING, TAPE ZIPPING ]
YEAH!
[ SNIFFS ]
DON'T THROW THAT AWAY, MOM!
I WANT TO MAKE A LEFTOVER LIZZY!
A LEFTOVER LIZZY?
Female announcer: LEFTOVER LIZZY
IS THE FUN NEW WAY TO PLAY WITH YOUR FOOD!
OLD FOOD!
EACH LEFTOVER LIZZY COMES WITH A VARIETY OF FUN DOLL PARTS
TO MAKE YOUR OWN DOLL!
SHE'S SO PRETTY!
AND HER SOUL IS MADE OF MEAT!
ALL THE GIRLS LOVE LEFTOVER LIZZY!
I MADE A PEAR PRINCESS LIZZY!
I MADE A BREAD BEAUTY-PAGEANT LIZZY!
WITH LEFTOVER LIZZY, YOU CAN MAKE A PRETTY DOLL
OUT OF ANY ROTTEN FOOD!
WHY NOT MAKE A...
[ CHUCKLES ]
OUR LEFTOVER LIZZYS SMELL BAD!
LET'S GIVE THEM A BATH!
YEAH!
LET'S GET OUR LEFTOVER LIZZYS CLEANED UP FOR THE BALL!
BUT WHO WILL THEY GO WITH?
HOW ABOUT DOGGY BAG DOUG?
YAY!
LEFTOVER LIZZY! BECAUSE PLAYING NEVER GOES BAD!
CONGRATS AGAIN TO BECCA FOR WINNING "MOST SPIRITED."
THANKS FOR VOTING FOR ME, GUYS.
OKAY, AND THE NEXT CLASS AWARD IS "THE CLASS CLOWN."
AND THE WINNER IS...
FREDDIE.
CLASS CLOWN!
SWEET!
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ HONK! ]
[ SHOES SQUEAKING ]
GO HURRY UP, OKAY?!"
THE GAME SHOW FOR KIDS WITH A SHORT ATTENTION SPAN.
NOW HERE'S YOUR HOST,
THE FASTEST-TALKING GIRL AT HER SCHOOL,
LINDSAY WILSON!
HEY, YOU GUYS! I GET BORED EASY, SO JUST HURRY UP, OKAY?
LET'S MEET TODAY'S CONTESTANTS -- ALLISON, LUCAS AND HIM.
YOU GUYS ARE BORING. LET'S PLAY.
ALLISON, PICK A CATEGORY FROM THE BOARD,
BUT HURRY, OKAY?
UM, IT'S KIND OF HARD TO READ.
[ BUZZER ]
SORRY, I'M BORED. BALL PIT!
WHAT?
[ SCREAMS ]
HELLO?
OH, MY GOSH.
THIS IS CRAZY. NO WAY.
SORRY, I GOT BORED, SO I WAS TEXTING MY FRIEND CARRIE.
LUCAS, PICK A CATEGORY, BUT HURRY UP, OKAY?
OKAY, UH, MUSIC PLEASE.
WHAT SONG IS THIS?
[ MUSIC PLAYS, STOPS ABRUPTLY ]
STOP. I'M BORED. WHAT SONG IS THAT?
YOU BARELY PLAYED ANY OF IT.
WRONG! HERE COMES FOAM BAT GUY!
WHO? OW! OW! STOP! HELP! OW!
OW!
BALL PIT TIME. BYE!
[ SCREAMS ]
SHH.
THERE'S A SHARK IN HERE.
[ BOTH SCREAMING ]
SO, ARE YOU GUYS OFFICIALLY IN A FIGHT?
HEY, I HAVE TO GO HOST THIS GAME SHOW. BRB.
SORRY, I WAS TOTES BORED, SO I CALLED MY FRIEND CARRIE.
[ BELL DINGS ]
SPEED ROUND!
WHAT?
HE WANTS THE CHALLENGE RING. WHAT'S TODAY'S CHALLENGE?
[ APPLAUSE ]
NO. NO, I'M NOT --
NO. STOP IT. GO AWAY.
NO. YEAH, I DON'T NEED THIS.
STO-- NO, DON'T UN-COVER IT!
I'M NOT GONNA FIGHT THAT LION.
GOOD. I'M BORED OF THAT LION.
RETURN OF FOAM BAT GUY!
NO. STOP IT. BACK UP.
BACK UP.
THANKS FOR TUNING IN!
BLAH BLAH BLAH, WHATEVER.
I'M BORED OF SAYING GOODBYE TO YOU.
OOPS, SORRY.
WAIT, NO. WAIT!
[ LION ROARS ]
Male announcer: AND NOW...
AND...
[ COUGHING ]
[ COUGHS, SPITS ]
FREE FOOD! CUPCAKES! MUFFINS!
[ COUGHS ] COMPLETELY FREE. DELICIOUS.
OH, NO. I JUST HAVE -- IT'S JUST A LITTLE ALLERGY.
DELICIOUS.
[ COUGHS ] I'M SORRY. HAVE A --
OH, NO! IT'S DELICIOUS.
MY GRANDMA MAKES IT.
FREE TREAT! DO YOU WANT SOME FREE TREATS?
WOULD YOU LIKE A RICE KRISPIE?
[ COUGHS, GROANS ]
OH, I'M SO SORRY.
HERE. TRY THAT ONE.
TELL US HOW YOU LIKE IT.
DO YOU WEAR SHORTS? DO YOU USE SPOONS?
WELL, COME ON DOWN TO SHORTS AND SPOONS WAREHOUSE.
Male announcer: SHORTS AND SPOONS!
HERE AT SHORTS AND SPOONS WAREHOUSE,
WE HAVE EVERY TYPE OF SHORTS.
SHORTS!
SHORTS!
EVEN...LEDERHOSEN!
SHORTS.
WE ALSO HAVE EVERY TYPE OF SPOON.
SPOONS!
SPOONS!
EVEN WOODEN...
SPOONS!
WE EVEN HAVE SHORTS WITH SPOONS ON THEM!
NO FORKS! FORKS.
Male announcer: SHORTS AND SPOONS WAREHOUSE --
WE DON'T SELL PANTS OR FORKS.
NO PANTS! NO FORKS!
WE ONLY SELL SHORTS AND SPOONS.
AND YOU MUST BUY ONE OF EACH.
SHORTS!
SPOONS!
Male announcer: SHORTS AND SPOONS NOT SOLD SEPARATELY.
WE DON'T SELL PANTS. PANTS. PANTS!
SO IF YOU'RE TAKING A POT OF CHILI TO THE BEACH...SHORTS!
OR SOME BANANA PUDDING TO THE PARK...SPOONS!
COME ON DOWN TO SHORTS AND SPOONS WAREHOUSE.
Male announcer: BUT IF YOU'RE BRINGING GREEN-BEAN CASSEROLE
TO A JOB INTERVIEW,
THEN DON'T COME TO SHORTS AND SPOONS WAREHOUSE
BECAUSE...
BECAUSE WE DON'T SELL PANTS! NO PANTS!
OR FORKS!
NO FORKS! SPOONS! SPOONS! SPOONS!
SHORTS AND SPOONS WAREHOUSE.
RIGHT NEXT TO SHOVEL AND *** PACK DEPOT.
SPOONS!