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OH Herro. Today I want to talk about backhanded compliments. I overheard one in the airport
the other day. This girl was talking about her friend and her friends new boyfriend and
she goes, "I just like can't believe he's so comfortable settling like that you know?"
I didn't mean to be eavesdropping but you just couldn't ignore that one.
Anyway it got me thinking about the most mean spirited backhanded compliments you can ever
come up with. Because when you get right down to it, it's sort of a forehanded insult isn't
it? And i'm not talking about something said with good intentions that just comes out wrong.
"Hey you look really nice today." "Scuse me? What are you saying I didn't look good yesterday?"
"Oh when is the baby due?" "Who's? I'm not pregnant." "Gun to my head? sure I'd marry
you." "Thanks?" And I'm not talking about comments that maybe
have good intentions but are kind of inappropriate. "I like a girl with meat on her bones." "You
look like a real smart person." "You know you have a real symmetrical face." Or just
flat out odd compliments. "Well you're not racist at all, are you?" "You're an awfully
thoughtful lover." "Hey you're tall." Sidebar you're tall is not a compliment it's a ***
observation it's like saying you're alive. Anyway. "You got a real nice rack for a guy."
"I would lick your knee pitt." "Damn you got nice elbows."
And obviously if it's a family member they got carte blanche they can say whatever the
*** they want. Like the other day my grandma says, "oh Max you're so handsome, but you'll
go home and shave right?" or how every time i see my mom she asks me if I'm gaining weight.
'You look a little healthy, you know?" Both of those things actually happened but I'm
fine it's not a big deal. Oh my god. No I'm talking about the comments where it's
like clearly some *** jerk face wants to be snarky and say something that they think
will go right over your head but they're so *** clever that they can just insult you
to your face. Something like, "I can see how someone like
you would think that." "I wish I had the courage to wear something like that." "You're not
as dumb as you look." "It's so refreshing to meet someone like you." "You know you drive
really well for a woman." "You know you look really cute in this light." "That dress is
so cute for someone your size." I'm from Boston I'm not from the South I don't understand
when you guys say "Bless your heart," and you really mean "*** YOU." Or if you're like
"Bless his heart," and you really mean "He's a *** idiot." Like that's some snarky
***. Here's the thing, if you're using backhanded compliments on people and you're doing it
on purpose to be like a snarky jerk off, you're never as smart as you think you're being.
The person you're complimenting, they're going to get it. So you're not really saying ha
ha I'm a slick ***. It's more like you're saying "ha ha I'm an ***." Like
I thought we graduated from middle school or at least I did.
Here's an idea, why don't you say something nice? Or shut the *** up. Like if you're
really the kind of person that needs to rip somebody to feel better about yourself, then
Bless Your Heart. And everybody loves getting a compliment but
in this day and age like everybody thinks that everybody else is being a backhanded
***. So in the spirit of Easter and April Fool's day, why don't we all try something
crazy. Today, why don't you try to compliment someone genuinely. You know with no ***
agenda, just to see how it feels. Spoiler it's going to feel good. So here are some
examples of general compliments, they don't have a double meaning, they're not mean to
be assholey, it's just a compliment nothing more nothing less. "Hey, nice face." "You
know you got great posture?" "You're decent at math." "You order a great takeout dinner."
"Nice ***" "It would probably take two terminators to kill you." "That's a nice sweatshirt dude
you look like a ninja." "You know you don't argue like a prick." "I've always admired
your taste in backpacks." "You smell pretty good, well better than me." "Three Six Nine,
damn you're fine move so you can sock it to me one more time." I mean think about it,
what's the worst that could happen? You make someone's day? You turn into that nice guy
that everybody likes? Bummer right? Howdy y'all I'm in Arizona right now I'm hanging
with my family for Easter and for my grandma's 91st birthday so happy birthday Oma. If you
like the video please subscribe if you don't like the video please subscribe. My name is
Max No Sleeves and I will see you next Tuesday.