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Onion News Network
Building on the success of their Genius bars today,
Apple stores across the country, unveiled the Friend bar,
where obsessive apple users can come to discuss Mac products at length.
Onion News Network tech trends reporter Jeff Tate, has more.
Thanks Andrea, Apple users looking for someone to talk at,
about the newest twitter iPhone app,
or why Safari's an infinitely better browser than Firefox,
can now simply make an appointment, at Apple's new 'Friend Bar'.
Free to anyone with an Apple care warranty, the Friend Bar is staffed
by Apple employees specially trained to carry out lengthy conversations,
about even the most arcane apple related topics.
Unlike your girlfriend or your coworkers, we're not going to get tired
of discussing the wireless networking capabilities of the operating system.
We're here and we're ready to listen.
The friend bar is already a success with some Apple fans scheduling
appointments up to four hours at length.
It drives me so nuts that Firefox is disabling the plug-in for the main RC3.
Genius bars across the country are reporting shorter wait times
as customers who just want to impress Apple employees with their ironic desktop image,
or their impeccably organized iTunes library,
are redirected to the Friend Bar, and the discussions don't have to be limited
to Apple products.
Friend Bar employees are trained to discuss a range of topics,
Apple customers are interested in, from finding a good Neapolitan pizza,
to talking to girls you aren't already in an improv. group with.
I think what our customers appreciate is the fact that
they've got a multinational consumer corporation that they can relate to.
The Friend Bar, is not the only good news for Apple fans.
The 24 hour friend line connects users to call centers overseas,
where they can talk about Apple, even after store hours.
That's just using GarageBand, and I like to use iMovie if I'm just making a slideshow
or something, but... -Oh yes!
I'll use Final Cut Express for anything that's more elaborate.
Of course, sir!
... like just yesterday I uploaded some flip footage of these kids skateboarding, and...
That is very interesting!
The company also announced that next year it will roll out the iStore,
A miniature version of an Apple store which customers can set up in their own homes.
It's going to be about six thousand dollars for the hardware,
and then there's a month of salary for your personal Apple employee.
Then of course, anything you buy from the store.
For Tech trends, I'm Jeff Tate.
Thank you Jeff.
Moving on, in a diplomatic show of good will,
China will be sending two Tibetan monks to the national zoo in Washington.
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Still ahead this hour...
Red Lobster opens factory outlet.