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My name is Ruth Wood.
I am the minister at Calvary United Church in Kingston, Ontario
and I have been there for eight years now.
The last two years
had been a journey for both myself and the congregation in ways that have
been exciting but also challenging.
I'm transgender.
For me that means that I was born with a male body
but have a decidedly female sense of inner spirit
In May of 2010,
I found that I could no longer continue to hide who I was
from my family from my friends
especially from my parishoners.
So i came out.
I told them that I was transgender and that I would be changing the way that I
looked at so that I would be
presenting the
person that I felt I truly was.
Obviously it was quite relieved when most of my parishoners
told me that they cared
more about who I was as a person inside
and when I looked like
on the outside.
We soon found that was easier said than done
I started to make changes in what I thought was a
horribly slow pace
and yet for some of my parishoners it was too fast.
But, we kept the lines of communication open and
step-by-step we'd learn to deal with the change.
Today
our relationship is that good solid one
and we worry about more mundane things like how we'll pay the bills
If coming out was the beginning of the journey for my congregation,
it was not the beginning
of my journey.
As a minister I spend a great deal of time in theological reflection not
just in when looking at the readings or preparing Sunday worship but
also
in all of the events going on in the world around me and certainly
those events that are in my personal life.
So it's no surprise that I soon found myself
thinking
of my my gender, my gender identity and this disconnect between it
and my body
in a theological way.
And I knew i had to do that
I had to be able to
speak
faithfully to my parishoners when I told them.
And so I was soon asking questions like
where is God in all of this?
What does God think of my gender
and my gender identity?
How can I stand up in front of my congregation
and tell them faithfully
that I believe
God does not care
that I am transgender.
Looking at the Scriptures for
a direct answer
obviously didn't work it would be like going to the Bible looking for
thoughts on how God feels about airplanes.
But as I searched for more indirect guidance I came to Psalm 139
which begins with the words
"O Lord, you have searched me and known me,
you know when I sit down and when I rise up.
You discern my thoughts from a faraway.
You search at my path
and my lying down
and are acquainted with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue
all Lord you know it
completely."
Now, those words gave me a great comfort
they help me remember at that
God really does know me
that we have this wonderful intimate relationship with God.
But it was really the
versws thirteen and fourteen of this Psalm that spoke so eloquently to me.
"For it with You who formed my inward parts
You knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise You for I am fearfully and wonderfully made
wonderful are your works
that I know
very well."
Those verses
are what reminded me that I'm a part of God's
great diverse Creation.
A diversity that includes not just human beings but
everything around us.
And not only a part of the Creation but as part of that Creation loved by God.
Wonderful as that realization was , it raised another question.
If I'm a part of God's Creation and God
loves me just the way I am
how could I even think,
how could I even dare think
about having surgery to change my body?
As I thought about it
I remembered those opening lines
That God knows me completely. God knows the pain that this disconnect causes me.
And I am certain
that God does not want me to continue to suffer that pain
if I don't have to.
And so
I am sure
that God has no problem with me being transgender
and that God will love me every bit as much
after my surgery.
So I was able to faithfully say to my congregation,
" Yes indeed
I believe that God
is perfectly fine
with my gender identity."
I hope that this insight into my journey and into my theological perspective
will help you
in your discernment today.
And I hope that you will
welcome
transgender people as simply another group
that are a part
of God's beautiful
diverse Creation.