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Jesus, watching that made me almost puke. Brett Loudermilk everybody.
The sultan of swords, with an oesophagus of steel. Speaking of puking, do you guys like
magic?
Hey! Magic man? You're up.
Yep. Have a good show, Bonnie.
You too.
Wish me luck.
Go get 'em.
The One, The Only...ah, The Magician.
Now I'm going to read someone's mind. You Sir, in the front row...have we ever met before?
No. Never.
Think of a number between one and one thousand? What is the number you are thinking of?
487
Ladies and Gentleman...487!
(Applause)
Thank you
Hey magic man...can you 'really' do magic?
(singing)
Do you really think if I could do magic I'd be spending Sunday afternoon's
Making *** dog balloons, for your *** kids?
Do you really think if I could do magic I'd be running round all over town
Doing gigs dressed as a clown or in a rented tux, for thirty bucks?
I'll be on TV, have my own show, crack celebrity But for now I'll serve your food, wait tables
while you're being rude. Hey guys! I've got a magic show at eight!?
Yes sir, of course I'll clear your plates
Do you really think if I could do magic And I had these powers deep inside
To change the world just my mind!...I'd unlink some rings and have to float with strings?
Do you really think if I could do magic I would make a red ball disappear, then reappear
then disappear... Then reappear and disappear
Do you really think if I, if I could do magic I'd be practicing so *** hard
To make a stupid playing card change from black to red? No I'd have friends instead
The truth is, all my cards are marked, if the cards were normal I'd be ***
My skills are not that great, if you knew the tricks you'd would hate me
She's floating with some cables I've no powers I'm not able
To fly or to read minds and that's a fact...and the guy who's mind I read was part of the
act
Do you really think if I could do magic I'd be cleaning bird *** from the stage,
Out of my sleeves, jacket and cage? (You do the math)
Do you really think if I could do magic Would do tricks so you'd like me more
Does that make me a magic ***? I guess it does. Was it the 6 of clubs?
Yes it was!
I wish I had real powers, not have to rehearse for hours.
If I knew what you were thinking, I wouldn't be here alone drinking. You'll come to this
conclusion, you'll see it is no illusion: that reading minds, magic tricks and escapes
Are just a hoax, a fraud, a cheat and it's all fake
'Cause if I really could do magic, I mean if I really could do magic... I mean not a
rabbit-hat trick, No strings, magnets or elastics.
If I really could do magic it would rock! Cause I could give myself more hair...and
a bigger ***!!!