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PREVIOUSLY...
I NEED TO REPORT A CRIME.
IS THERE ANYONE IN PARTICULAR YOU'D LIKE ME TO ARREST,
OR SHOULD I JUST ROUND UP THE SONS
OF THE MOST IMPORTANT FAMILIES IN TOWN?
YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS? A BUG.
I FOUND IT IN THAT HOUSEPLANT. YOU KNOW WHO DELIVERED IT?
YOUR SON.
50 GRAND. NOT BAD.
MONEY FOR NOTHING.
IT MIGHT NOT BE AS EASY AS YOU THINK.
DUNCAN KANE? I THINK I'LL BE ABLE TO TRACK HIM DOWN.
I LOVED LILLY, AND LILLY LOVED GUYS.
IT'S OKAY. NOW I DON'T HAVE TO FEEL GUILTY ANYMORE.
GUILTY ABOUT WHAT?
WHAT ARE WE DOING?
WHO GAVE YOU THE ROHYPNOL THE NIGHT OF SHELLY POMROY'S PARTY?
IT WAS LOGAN ECHOLLS.
LO SUELTO. SíGAME.
HEY! HEY! iCHIVATO, DéJALES, áNDALE!
LáRGATE.
BUENOS DíAS.
I KNOW.
OF ALL THE COUNTRIES UNDER MILITARY DICTATORSHIP
IN ALL THE WORLD.
SO, DID THEY GIVE YOU THE JET TO TAKE ME BACK HOME,
OR AM I SUPPOSED TO CLICK MY HEELS?
IT'S A HELL OF JOB YOU DID WITH THE FAKE PASSPORT.
DO YOU THINK I KILLED LILLY?
I DON'T KNOW WHO KILLED YOUR SISTER, DUNCAN.
I ONLY KNOW IT WASN'T ABEL KOONTZ.
I KNOW IT WASN'T ME.
RANDY JUST FINISHED SHAPING IT FOR ME.
A DOUBLE-CONCAVE BOTTOM
WITH THE SWEETEST LITTLE ROCKER THROUGH THE TAIL.
OOH, AND YOU DINGED IT YOUR FIRST TIME OUT?
WHAT?!
I'M SO NOT LAUGHING.
THIS IS MY CHILD.
OKAY, DUDE. THE THOUGHT OF YOU BREEDING...
[ SIGHS ]
MAZEL TOV.
HEY, VERONICA.
HEY, WILL YOU STOP FOR TWO SECONDS?
SEE, WHEN THEY RUN AWAY LIKE THAT,
IT'S KIND OF A HINT THEY'RE NOT INTERESTED.
YOU DO NOT WANT TO START WITH ME TODAY, PACO.
ARE YOU SURE? IT WAS IN MY DAY PLANNER UNDER "GOALS."
HOW IS THIS YOUR BUSINESS?
I'M JUST LOOKING OUT FOR VERONICA, SO IF YOU THINK
YOU'RE GONNA LAY A HAND ON HER THE WAY YOU DID LILLY --
DON'T YOU EVEN SAY HER NAME.
[ CHUCKLES ]
ACTUALLY, SHE KIND OF LIKED IT WHEN I SAID HER NAME.
YOU THINK SHE HAD ANY REAL INTEREST IN YOU?
YOU'RE A PORK RIND.
YOU'RE WHAT PEOPLE GRAB WHEN THEY'RE ***
AND THEY JUST WANT GARBAGE.
WHAT MAKES IT WORSE -- THINKING SHE HAD FEELINGS FOR ME
OR THAT SHE WAS USING ME FOR SEX?
YOU STAY AWAY FROM VERONICA.
I'M NOT THE ONE SHE'S RUNNING AWAY FROM.
GENTLEMEN.
THANKS.
[ BACKUP BARKING ]
WHAT IS IT, BUDDY?
HEY. WHAT IS IT?
I'M NOT LEAVING.
IT'S KIND OF A BAD TIME.
OKAY.
SO, I SHOULD COME BACK WHEN -- NEVER?
WILL THAT WORK FOR YOU?
WHAT DID I DO, VERONICA?
CAN YOU JUST TELL ME SO THAT I CAN APOLOGIZE OR EXPLAIN?
EXPLAIN -- OKAY.
EXPLAIN TO ME WHY YOU WERE THE ONE WITH GHB
THE NIGHT OF SHELLY POMROY'S PARTY,
WHEN SOMEONE DRUGGED AND *** ME.
EXPLANATION? APOLOGY?
YOU WERE ***?
OKAY, DON'T. SERIOUSLY.
WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?
YOU TELL ME.
WAIT A SEC-- WAIT A SECOND. YOU THINK --
I WAS TOLD THAT YOU WERE THE ONE WITH THE DRUGS.
I GOT LIQUID "X" WHEN I WAS IN TIJUANA WITH LUKE AND SEAN.
WE WERE JUST GONNA HAVE SOME FUN.
FUN LIKE SEX-WITH-UNCONSCIOUS-PEOPLE FUN?
FUN LIKE GO-TO-A-RAVE FUN.
OH, OKAY. YOU'VE CONVINCED ME. BYGONES.
WHAT CAN I DO?
WHAT CAN I DO TO MAKE IT BETTER?
I'M GONNA FIND OUT WHO DID THIS TO ME,
AND I'M GONNA MAKE THEM PAY, EVEN IF IT WAS YOU.
SORRY.
I HAVE TO GO THROW UP NOW.
♪ A LONG TIME AGO, WE USED TO BE FRIENDS ♪
♪ BUT I HAVEN'T THOUGHT OF YOU LATELY AT ALL ♪
♪ COME ON, NOW, SUGAR ♪
♪ BRING IT ON, BRING IT ON, YEAH ♪
♪ JUST REMEMBER ME WHEN ♪
♪ WE USED TO BE FRIENDS A LONG TIME AGO ♪
♪ WE USED TO BE FRIENDS ♪
Veronica: AS A RULE, PEOPLE THAT HATE YOU AREN'T THAT HELPFUL.
THERE WERE ABOUT 100 PEOPLE AT SHELLY'S PARTY.
98 OF THEM WOULD WALK OVER MY CORPSE FOR FREE GUM.
MY 09er RESOURCES ARE LIMITED,
BUT I DO HAVE A FEW PEOPLE I CAN COUNT ON.
OH, CAN WE SKIP ENGLISH TODAY?
I HAVE SOME SORT OF HEMINGWAY-RELATED NARCOLEPSY.
YOU START TALKING ABOUT "THE SUN ALSO RISES,"
AND I FALL ASLEEP.
DON'T BLAME PAPA. BLAME MRS. MURPHY'S MONOTONE.
[ CHUCKLES ]
YOU WERE AT SHELLY POMROY'S END-OF-THE-YEAR PARTY, RIGHT?
UH, YEAH.
YEAH, FOR A LITTLE WHILE.
DID YOU SEE ME THERE?
WHY?
I JUST WANNA KNOW.
MY MEMORY'S A LITTLE FUZZY ABOUT THAT NIGHT.
MAYBE THAT'S A GOOD THING.
SO YOU DID SEE ME?
FOR LIKE A SECOND.
I WAS WITH COLE, AND WE WERE JUST LEAVING.
I DIDN'T EVEN SAY GOODBYE TO SHELLY.
YOU TALK TO HER 50 TIMES A DAY. COME ON.
[ CHEERING ]
UNLESS YOU WANNA STICK AROUND FOR SOME BODY SHOTS.
[ CHEERING CONTINUES ]
SOMEONE SHOULD HELP HER.
I'M NOT ENDING THE NIGHT WITH VERONICA MARS PUKING IN MY CAR.
WE CAN'T LEAVE HER LIKE THAT.
[ CHEERING CONTINUES ]
LOOK. SOMEONE'S GOT HER.
Logan: WAIT, DUDE. YOU CAN'T BE THE CAVALRY AND THE MARTYR, MAN.
PICK A SIDE.
YOU DON'T KNOW WHO HELPED ME?
NO.
SO, THAT'S YOUR BIG
"HIGH SCHOOL ALCOHOL-RELATED EMBARRASSING MOMENT."
EVERYONE'S GOT ONE, RIGHT?
YOU GOT TO LET IT GO.
YOU'LL MAKE YOURSELF CRAZY.
WATCH YOUR STEP, SIR.
MR. MARS.
WELL DONE.
THANKS.
WELL DONE.
MAYBE YOUR DAUGHTER HAS A FUTURE IN TRAVEL PLANNING.
AND IF SHE GETS A DISCOUNT AND I TRAVEL THE WORLD,
I'LL BE SURE TO SEND YOU A POSTCARD.
YOU CAN HANG IT IN YOUR CELL.
KEITH, THANK YOU.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE WOULD HAVE DONE.
I'M HAPPY EVERYTHING WORKED OUT.
I KNOW YOU'RE ANXIOUS TO GET HOME,
SO JUST STOP BY THE OFFICE WHEN IT'S CONVENIENT.
WE'LL FINISH UP.
FINISH UP?
I'M REFERRING TO THE REWARD.
YOU MIGHT WANT TO SPEAK TO YOUR DAUGHTER ABOUT THAT.
VERONICA AND I HAD AN ARRANGEMENT.
YOU JUST MET HER END OF THE BARGAIN.
YOU HAVE NO IDEA
WHAT THE PAST FEW WEEKS HAVE BEEN LIKE.
AND NEXT TIME YOU RUN AWAY, TAKE YOUR MEDICATION WITH YOU.
♪ WE CAN ONLY HOPE ♪
♪ FOR THE PEACE THAT IT MAY BRING ♪
EMPTY STOMACH.
REMEMBER WHEN I SAVED YOU FROM DRUG DEALERS
AND I SAID I MAY CALL UPON YOU FOR A FAVOR SOMEDAY?
[ Chuckling ] YOU DIDN'T SAY THAT.
IT WAS IMPLIED.
[ Chuckling ] OKAY.
WHAT CAN I DO YOU FOR?
NICE.
I HEARD YOU WENT TO T.J. WITH SEAN AND LOGAN
AND SCORED SOME GHB.
WOW, THAT WAS LIKE A -- THAT WAS LIKE A YEAR AGO.
I DON'T HAVE ANY NOW.
I WAS GONNA SPIKE YOUR JUICE BOX AND HAVE MY WAY WITH YOU.
WHAT DID YOU DO WITH IT?
NOTHING.
HONESTLY, I-I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING. I GAVE IT AWAY.
WHO'D YOU GIVE IT TO?
UM...
*** CASABLANCAS.
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS, LOUD MUSIC PLAYING ]
LOOK AT THAT.
BEAVER'S GETTING ALL THE LOVE,
AND ***'S FLAPPING OUT IN THE BREEZE.
PLEASE. YOU HAVE THE HOTTEST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
MUCH LIKE FAKE *** -- GREAT TO LOOK AT,
BUT THEY DON'T DO AS MUCH AS YOU'D LIKE THEM TO.
WAIT TILL YOU GET A COUPLE DRINKS IN HER.
SHE'S ON FRICKIN' ATKINS.
DID YOU GUYS GET SOME STUFF IN T.J.?
I'M SAVING IT FOR A SPECIAL OCCASION.
AND THIS ISN'T IT.
[ CHUCKLES ]
WHO INVITED VERONICA MARS? HMM?
WHY DO YOU LET THIS STUFF GET TO YOU?
LOOK AT YOU. YOU'RE ALL TENSE.
CAN YOU NOT BE ALL OVER ME FOR FIVE SECONDS?
[ LAUGHTER ]
ALL RIGHT.
SO *** DRUGGED MADISON?
WELL, HE -- HE ASKED FOR TWO DOSES.
SO I JUST FIGURED HE WAS GONNA TAKE ONE
AND ASK HER TO TAKE THE OTHER ONE,
BUT I'M PRETTY SURE SHE DIDN'T.
HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?
YOU'RE NOT GONNA LIKE THIS PART.
STUPID STRINGY-HAIRED WHITE TRASH!
Luke: AS I UNDERSTAND IT,
GHB IS SUPPOSED TO MAKE YOU NICER.
WHY WOULD MADISON DO THAT?
I-I DON'T KNOW.
'CAUSE SHE'S A HORRIBLE HUMAN BEING?
YOU CAN KEEP ASKING, BUT YOU'RE NOT THE FAIREST.
TRUST ME.
WELL, I CAN TELL YOU WHO THE PASTIEST IS.
WHAT'S THE DEAL -- CAN'T BUY BRONZER WITH FOOD STAMPS?
YOU WROTE "***" ON MY CAR LAST YEAR AT SHELLY'S PARTY.
WHY?
BECAUSE "***" HAD TOO MANY LETTERS.
I HAVE NEVER DONE ANYTHING TO YOU --
UP TILL NOW.
WHATEVER, VERONICA.
OH, LIKE WHAT?
HOW ABOUT MAKING OUT WITH MY BOYFRIEND
IN FRONT OF AN ENTIRE PARTY?
I GUESS I SHOULDN'T TAKE THAT PERSONALLY, THOUGH, HUH?
YOU PRETTY MUCH MADE OUT WITH EVERYONE.
I DON'T BELIEVE YOU.
ARE YOU KIDDING?
WHAT'S UP, ***? HOW'S IT GOING?
♪ ANYBODY ELSE ♪
♪ WHEN I THINK ABOUT YOU, I TOUCH MYSELF ♪
YOU HAVE THE BEST HAIR.
YOU LIKE THAT, HUH?
♪ OH, NO, OH, NO, OH, NO ♪
COME ON, THAT'S NOT COOL.
YOU THINK THAT'S COOL, THOUGH, DON'T YOU, CASE?
I MADE OUT WITH *** AND CASEY?
PLEASE. YOU MADE OUT WITH THE GARAGE DOOR.
AND DON'T EVEN START WITH THE "I WAS SO WASTED."
I WASN'T DRUNK. I WAS DRUGGED. SOMEONE PUT GHB IN MY DRINK.
[ SCOFFS ] YEAH.
SHE COULD HAVE GOTTEN ME FIRED, KEITH!
HOW IS THAT NOT A BIG DEAL TO YOU?
I DIDN'T SAY IT WASN'T.
SHE PUT A LISTENING DEVICE IN A PLANT,
HAD MY SON DELIVER IT TO MY PLACE OF BUSINESS.
SHE HAS HER REASONS.
HER REASONS? SHE'S 17.
SHE'S NOT YOUR AVERAGE 17-YEAR-OLD.
WELL, HOW CAN SHE BE WHEN YOU TREAT HER LIKE SHE'S 40?
MRS. FENNEL, I'M SO SORRY, BUT CLARENCE WIEDMAN KNEW --
JUST LET ME EXPLAIN.
JUST GIVE US A MINUTE.
IF I CAN JUST EXPLAIN --
GO TO YOUR ROOM NOW!
FINE.
BUT HE BUGGED ME FIRST.
[ DOOR CLOSES ]
HE BUGGED HER FIRST?
[ MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS ]
[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]
[ MUSIC STOPS ]
[ DOOR OPENS ]
[ DOOR CLOSES ]
DUNCAN'S OKAY. HE'S BACK HOME.
HIS PARENTS ARE GONNA KEEP HIM HOME A COUPLE DAYS,
LET HIM REST.
I'M SO SORRY, DAD.
STOP. IT'S OKAY.
IT'S MY FAULT.
I'M THE ONE WHO GAVE WALLACE A BUGGED PLANT.
VERONICA, DID YOU MAKE SOME KIND OF DEAL WITH CELESTE KANE
THAT I DON'T KNOW ABOUT?
I TOLD HER I'D LOOK FOR DUNCAN IF SHE RELEASED WEEVIL.
SHE SAID SHE WOULDN'T PAY THE REWARD.
SHE SAID THAT WE'RE EVEN NOW.
IT'S RIDICULOUS. OF COURSE THEY'LL PAY.
SHE'S JUST ENJOYING THE MOMENT.
SHE'S A WITCH.
VERONICA, WHAT IF YOU STARTED LOOKING FOR ANOTHER JOB?
SELLING CLOTHES OR SOMETHING?
WHAT?
I JUST CAN'T HELP THINK THAT YOUR LIFE WOULD BE BETTER
IF YOU WEREN'T WORKING FOR ME.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
YOU'RE THE BEST FATHER IN THE WORLD.
I MEAN, COME ON. LOOK AT ME.
I'M HEALTHY, HAPPY...
GOOD GRADES, ALL MY OWN TEETH.
FANCY SHOES.
I NEVER WOULD HAVE GOTTEN THROUGH THIS PAST YEAR
IF IT WASN'T FOR YOU.
IF IT WASN'T FOR ME, YOU WOULDN'T HAVE TO.
[ DOOR OPENS ]
HEY, STRANGER.
WHAT'S UP, VERONICA?
KIND OF AN AWKWARD QUESTION --
DO YOU REMEMBER SHELLY'S END-OF-THE-YEAR PARTY?
I KNOW IT WAS A WHILE AGO.
NOT REALLY.
LOOK, I GOTTA GET SOME STUFF DONE BEFORE CLASS.
I WAS JUST WONDERING HOW YOU'VE BEEN, YOU KNOW,
WITHOUT YOUR GRANDMOTHER.
I'VE BEEN GOOD.
I GOT MY PRIORITIES IN CHECK.
NO MORE THROWING MY FAMILY'S MONEY AT STRANGERS
SO I CAN EAT S'MORES AND LISTEN TO BAD FOLK MUSIC.
WHAT'S THE AWKWARD QUESTION?
DID I HIT ON YOU AT SHELLY'S PARTY?
NO.
DID IT GET UGLY AT SHELLY'S?
OH, YEAH.
[ LOUD MUSIC PLAYS ]
♪ I DON'T WANT ANYBODY ELSE ♪
♪ WHEN I THINK ABOUT YOU, I TOUCH MYSELF ♪
YOU LIKE GRABBING HAIR, HUH?
IT'S NICE, HUH?
AREN'T YOU GONNA SEE UNCLE CASEY?
OH, NO, THANKS.
I LIKE MINE TO BE ABLE TO STAND ON THEIR OWN POWER.
WELL, I'M GONNA GO DRINK SOME BLEACH NOW.
JUST A THOUGHT -- IF YOU DON'T REMEMBER MUCH ABOUT THAT PARTY,
MAYBE YOU SHOULD LEAVE IT THAT WAY.
CAN I GUESS THAT MEANS YOU SAW SOMETHING ELSE?
I HAVE TO GO HOME.
YOU ARE HOME.
THERE'S YOUR POOL, YOUR HOT TUB, AND YOUR BIG MANSION.
AND HERE'S THE HOT FOREIGN-EXCHANGE STUDENT
THAT'S BEEN LIVING WITH YOUR FAMILY.
NOW, I KNOW YOU'VE HAD YOUR EYE ON HIM.
AND THAT'S OKAY. IT'S PERFECTLY NATURAL.
Casey: SOME OF THE GUYS THOUGHT IT WOULD BE COOL
TO SEE YOU MAKE OUT WITH SHELLY.
THEY WERE FEEDING ME SHOTS?
I GUESS THEY WERE AFRAID YOU WERE SOBERING UP.
UGH.
THIS IS WHY I NEED TO KEEP MY WALKIE-TALKIES IN MY CAR.
MUCK.
REALLY? THE DIRT?
SEE, I FIND I HARDLY NEED WALKIE-TALKIES AT SCHOOL AT ALL.
BUT THAT'S ME.
WALLACE, I'M SO SORRY I HAD YOU BUG KANE SOFTWARE.
I HONESTLY THOUGHT NO ONE WOULD FIND OUT.
AND IF I KNEW YOUR MOM WAS GONNA GET IN TROUBLE --
STOP. I'M NOT STUPID.
I KNEW I WASN'T JUST DELIVERING A PLANT.
I COULD'VE SAID NO.
YOU KNOW, I DO THESE THINGS FOR YOU,
AND I NEVER ASK YOU WHY.
I KNOW.
YOU KNOW WHY?
BECAUSE I KNOW YOU WOULD NEVER TELL ME.
I'D DO THE SAME FOR YOU.
LOGAN ECHOLLS USED ONE OF THE ABSENT SLIPS I TOOK FOR YOU.
YOU CHECKED THE ABSENT SLIPS?
YOU -- I DO FAVORS FOR.
MY FRIENDS -- I PUT MY BUTT ON THE LINE FOR.
THAT GUY DOESN'T EVEN KNOW MY NAME.
YOU WANT TO TELL ME WHY I'M HELPING HIM OUT?
YOU'RE NOT.
YOU SURE ABOUT THAT?
I NEEDED HIM FOR SOMETHING WITH HIS MOTHER'S CASE.
IT WAS JUST LOOSE ENDS AND STUFF.
THAT'S IT.
THANKS.
NOW THAT I HAVE ALL THE DETAILS, I DON'T FEEL LIKE SUCH A CHUMP.
WHAT?
I'M JUST THINKING OF ALL THE WAYS I CAN DESTROY YOU.
WELL, YOU SITTING THERE GRINNING IS KIND OF TORTUROUS.
SO, SHELLY POMROY AND I WERE THINKING
OF GETTING TOGETHER LATER FOR A LITTLE GIRL-ON-GIRL.
YOU WANT TO COME WITH?
WOW.
YOU KNOW, WHEN YOU'RE ABOUT TO SOIL YOURSELF,
YOU GET A LITTLE TWITCH RIGHT IN YOUR EYE.
I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
SURE YOU DO.
UNLESS YOU WANT ME TO TELL ONE OF MY FAVORITE LOCAL DEPUTIES
THAT YOU WERE THE ONE WITH GHB THE NIGHT OF SHELLY'S PARTY...
I KNOW YOU WERE FEEDING ME DRINKS.
I WASN'T FEEDING YOU DRINKS. IT WAS ***.
HE'S THE ONE THAT YOU SHOULD BE TALKING TO.
[ To tune of "Here Comes the Bride" ] ♪ DUM DUM DUM-DUM ♪
***...
WHAT?
YOU'RE GONNA HURT HER OR SOMETHING, MAN.
OH, I'D HURT HER.
YOU -- SHE MIGHT NOT EVEN NOTICE.
THIS IS SO NOT EVEN FUNNY.
WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
THIS IS YOU TRYING TO GET ME TO DO SOMETHING STUPID
SO YOU CAN LAUGH AT ME.
SHE'S ACTUALLY KIND OF HOT. AT LEAST SHE'S QUIET.
PERFECTLY CUTE PIECE OF ***. READY AND WILLING.
SHE'S NOT MOVING, ***. SHE'S UNCONSCIOUS.
IT'S PROBABLY THE BEST YOU'RE GONNA DO, BRO.
YOU'RE NOT REAL BIG WITH THE SOBER CHICKS.
FINE. JUST GO, ALL RIGHT?
THAT'S MY BOY.
MAKE SURE YOU SUIT UP.
YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE SHE'S BEEN.
YOUR ISSUE'S WITH *** AND BEAVER, NOT ME.
THEY WERE HORRIBLE TO YOU.
WELL, I'M JUST SORRY YOU HAD TO WITNESS IT.
THAT MUST HAVE BEEN AWFUL FOR YOU.
[ ENGINE IDLING ]
HIYA, ***.
HOW'S IT GOING?
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?
UM, TRYING TO GET YOUR ATTENTION.
[ ENGINE REVS ]
GOT A COUPLE QUESTIONS FOR YOU.
YOU'RE FRICKIN' NUTS. YOU KNOW THAT?
INSULTING ME RIGHT NOW SEEMS LIKE A GOOD PLAN HOW?
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
ANSWERS -- AND QUICKLY.
DID YOU GIVE ME GHB THE NIGHT OF SHELLY'S PARTY?
NO. I'M NOT EVEN THE ONE WHO HAD IT.
[ ENGINE REVS ]
I GOT SOME, BUT I DIDN'T GIVE ANY TO YOU.
I SWEAR ON MY LIFE.
SEE, WHEN YOU SAY THAT, IT MAKES ME HOPE YOU'RE LYING.
I KNOW YOU BROUGHT ME INTO THE GUEST BEDROOM FOR BEAVER.
MORE LIKE I FOUND YOU IN THE GUEST BEDROOM.
DON'T GO. YOU SAID YOU WERE GONNA STAY HERE WITH ME.
YEAH, I'M HERE. I'M STAYING.
WHY DON'T YOU COME BACK HERE.
IT'S AN AWFULLY BIG BED.
ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!
HOW ABOUT REALITY, ***?
WHAT? I'M JUST TELLING YOU WHAT I SAW.
I DIDN'T DRUG YOU.
DON'T GO BLAMING ME BECAUSE YOU GOT ALL WASTED AND SLUTTY.
NO!
NO!
BEAVER.
DAMN. YOU DON'T LOOK HAPPY TO SEE ME.
HOW'S IT GOING, VERONICA?
REALLY WELL.
I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE DREAM I HAD
WHERE I WAS LOCKED ALL ALONE IN A BEDROOM WITH YOU
WAS REALITY.
CARE TO SHARE SOME DETAILS, LOVER?
NOTHING HAPPENED.
ACTUALLY, SOMETHING DID HAPPEN.
AND I MIGHT NOT REMEMBER THE DETAILS,
BUT I SURE AS HELL REMEMBER THE MORNING AFTER.
LOOK, I SWEAR TO GOD I DIDN'T TOUCH YOU VERONICA.
OKAY? I MEAN, *** -- HE WAS --
HE WAS ALL ON ME, TOO, AND THERE WAS THIS GIRL --
THIS FRESHMAN -- HER NAME'S CINDY,
AND SHE'S KIND OF...
WELL, SHE'S EASY, YOU KNOW?
AND ME AND HER -- WE WERE SUPPOSED TO...
I DON'T KNOW. *** -- HE SET SOMETHING UP, OKAY?
AND THEN SHE WAS ALL OVER LOGAN, AND SHE LEFT EARLY WITH HIM.
YEAH, IT SUCKS TO BE YOU. AND...?
AND THEN *** BROUGHT ME TO THE GUEST ROOM WITH YOU.
I JUST WANTED HIM TO LEAVE ME ALONE.
YOU NEED ME TO GET YOU STARTED?
YEAH, I CAN DRAW YOU A DIAGRAM.
NO, THAT'S COOL. JUST GO, ALL RIGHT? I-I GOT IT.
THAT'S MY BOY.
HEY, MAKE SURE YOU SUIT UP.
YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE SHE'S BEEN.
VERONICA, YOU OKAY?
[ VOMITS ]
THAT WAS MY BIG NIGHT.
I'M SUPPOSED TO LOSE MY VIRGINITY.
INSTEAD, I HURL ON CARRIE BISHOP'S SHOES.
NOTHING HAPPENED.
REALLY, I-I SWEAR ON MY LIFE
THAT THE LAST TIME THAT I SAW YOU,
YOU WERE PASSED OUT ON THAT BED.
WELL, HEY...
THANKS FOR LEAVING ME THERE.
Veronica: THE WHOLE RITUAL-CLEANING THING
IS TEXTBOOK FOR A REASON.
FOR A COUPLE OF MINUTES, YOU'RE IN CONTROL
AND EVERYTHING'S THE WAY IT SHOULD BE --
AT LEAST ON THE SURFACE.
YOU SEE ANOTHER SPECIAL ON DUST MITES?
THEY'RE DISGUSTING, THEY'RE EVERYWHERE,
AND THEY MUST BE DESTROYED.
DO I HAVE MESSAGES, OR DID YOU BOIL THEM?
JUST A FAX.
THAT PACKAGE YOU'VE BEEN WAITING FOR IS IN VEGAS.
IS IT A WHITE BENGAL TIGER?
[ CHUCKLES ]
IT WAS THE ENTERTAINMENT LAWYER
I'VE BEEN TRACKING FOR THE PAST YEAR.
MY SOURCE IN VEGAS SPOTTED HIM.
I'M GONNA HAVE TO LEAVE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.
MAYBE YOU WANT TO STAY WITH A FRIEND OR SOMETHING.
AND MISS AN OPPORTUNITY TO HAVE THE APARTMENT TO MYSELF
SO I CAN RAID THE LIQUOR CABINET AND WATCH SKINEMAX?
NO. WAIT. I'M A GIRL.
I'M GONNA DO MY HOMEWORK, SECURE ALL THE LOCKS,
BRUSH, FLOSS,
AND CRAWL INTO BED WITH AN OVERLY PROTECTIVE PIT BULL.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT ME.
AH!
[ French accent ] ESPECIALLY FOR YOU TONIGHT
I AM MAKING WHAT WILL BE KNOWN FROM NOW ON
AS "AARON'S EXTRA SPECIAL CRAB CAKES."
HA HA!
I'M SURE I'LL THOROUGHLY ENJOY THEM --
RIGHT UP UNTIL MY ESOPHAGUS CLOSES UP
AND CUTS OFF MY AIR SUPPLY
AND I SHUFFLE OFF THIS MORTAL COIL.
PERHAPS MY LAST WORDS WILL BE "GREAT CRAB, PAPA."
I'M ALLERGIC TO SHELLFISH.
[ SIGHS ] OF COURSE. I FORGOT.
YOU DIDN'T FORGET.
YOU NEVER KNEW.
I DID. I-I JUST GOT YOU CONFUSED WITH TRINA.
I'M THE ONE ALLERGIC TO SHELLFISH.
TRINA'S THE ONE ALLERGIC TO WORK.
YOU KNOW...
SOMEHOW YOU GOT IT IN YOUR HEAD
THAT I DON'T KNOW A THING ABOUT YOU.
WELL, I GOT NEWS FOR YOU -- I'M YOUR FATHER.
I RAISED YOU. I KNOW PLENTY.
WELL, THEN, ROUND 1 OF "HOW WELL DO YOU KNOW YOUR SON?"
WHEN IS MY BIRTHDAY?
[ SCOFFS ]
FEBRUARY.
WOW. WELL, YOU GOT A VOWEL RIGHT.
YOU KNOW, I HAVE BEEN PRETTY TOLERANT
OF YOUR WISE-*** REMARKS, BUT YOU ARE PUSHING IT.
D-DOES IT MATTER...
THAT I'M TRYING?
DOES THAT COUNT FOR ANYTHING AT ALL?
YEAH. AND YOU'RE ACCUMULATING POINTS.
YOU'VE ALMOST WON THE WET VAC.
I'M COMMITTED TO THIS FAMILY, LOGAN.
I'M COMMITTED TO YOU.
YOU'LL SEE THAT.
WELL...
YOU'VE GOT LIMITED TIME, 'CAUSE LET'S FACE IT --
MY 18th BIRTHDAY --
WHENEVER THAT IS -- [ CLICKS TONGUE ]
MOM'S INHERITANCE COMES THROUGH AND IT'S BON VOYAGEY.
WHAT CAN I GET FOR YOU?
I'LL HAVE A HOT CHOCOLATE, CRèME BRûLéE,
AND SOME ANSWERS IF YOU CAN GIVE ME ABOUT TWO MINUTES.
I'M KIND OF IN THE WEEDS.
HERE'S THE THING. DO YOU REMEMBER SHELLY'S PARTY?
YEAH.
I DON'T.
AT LEAST NOT BETWEEN PASSING OUT IN THE BACKYARD
AND WAKING UP THE NEXT MORNING IN THE GUEST ROOM.
I THINK YOU PROBABLY SAW ME.
I SAW YOU.
OH, GOD.
SHUT THE DOOR NEXT TIME.
[ DOORBELL RINGS ]
WELCOME BACK.
SO, CARRIE BISHOP SAID THAT YOU AND I WERE IN BED TOGETHER
THE NIGHT OF SHELLY POMROY'S PARTY LAST YEAR.
CARE TO ELABORATE?
WHAT?
W-WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
I WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED.
DO YOU KNOW HOW WASTED I WAS?
I BARELY EVEN REMEMBER IT. THE WHOLE NIGHT'S A BLUR.
THAT'S KIND OF A THING WITH YOU, HUH?
CARRIE SAID SHE WALKED INTO THE GUEST BEDROOM,
AND YOU WERE NAKED AND ON TOP OF ME.
I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS.
YOU WERE THE ONE THAT *** ME!
I *** YOU?
SO, I'M A MURDERER AND A *** NOW?
[ CRYING ]
WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WHY ARE YOU ACTING LIKE THIS?
WHY ARE YOU ACTING LIKE YOU WEREN'T THERE?
WHAT?!
YOU WERE THERE, TOO.
I-I THOUGHT WE HAD SOME UNSPOKEN RULE,
LIKE WE'RE NEVER GONNA TALK ABOUT IT.
BUT NOW I *** YOU?!
MMM.
YOU'RE HERE.
HI, BABY.
I MISS YOU.
YOU DON'T REMEMBER.
IT'S KIND OF A BAD FEELING, HUH?
THEN WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME THERE?!
IF IT WAS SO TENDER AND LOVING,
WHY DID I WAKE UP BY MYSELF SEARCHING FOR MY UNDERWEAR?!
BECAUSE I HAD TO GET OUT OF THERE!
YOU HAD TO?
YES. I WOKE UP. I-I SAW YOU THERE.
I REALIZED WHAT I DID.
WHAT DID YOU REALIZE WAS SO BAD? WHAT DID YOU DO?!
I SLEPT WITH YOU!
BUT IT WAS CONSENSUAL, RIGHT?!
YES!
THEN WHAT ABOUT THAT IS SO WRONG?!
BECAUSE YOU'RE MY SISTER! AND I KNEW IT!
EVEN AFTER MY MOTHER TOLD ME,
I TRIED TO CUT YOU OUT OF MY LIFE!
I LOVED YOU! I TRIED NOT TO!
I TRIED NOT TO, BUT IT WON'T GO AWAY!
[ CRYING ]
[ DOOR OPENS, CLOSES ]
I WAS ABOUT TO CALL THE POLICE ON YOU, STALKER.
THIS IS SO NOT AN "I TOLD YOU SO,"
BUT DO YOU SEE WHY I KIND OF KEEP THINGS TO MYSELF?
[ SIGHS ]
I THINK I CAN GO HOME NOW.
MAYBE YOU SHOULD JUST STAY HERE.
NO, I FEEL BETTER.
OF COURSE, YOU FEEL WORSE.
I DON'T CARE ABOUT ME.
I JUST WISH I COULD DO SOMETHING...
OR SAY SOMETHING.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO SAY ANYTHING.
THAT'S KIND OF THE GOOD PART.
YOU SAY I NEVER TELL YOU ANYTHING WHEN I ASK FOR FAVORS?
YEAH.
YOU SO DON'T NEED TO WORRY ABOUT THAT RIGHT NOW.
I'M NOT WORRIED. [ SNIFFLES ]
HERE'S EVERYTHING THERE IS TO KNOW.
DON'T TELL ME WALLACE STILL HAS YOU CUTTING HIS CRUSTS OFF.
HOW ARE YOU, VERONICA?
SORRY.
I'M REALLY HOPING YOU WON'T HOLD MY DAD RESPONSIBLE
FOR MY BONEHEADEDNESS.
HE'S THE BEST GUY EVER. YOU SEE THAT, RIGHT?
YOU GUYS ARE REALLY GOOD TOGETHER.
I KNOW.
YOU MAKE HIM SO HAPPY.
I'M AFRAID I DIDN'T MAKE HIM TOO HAPPY
BEFORE HE LEFT FOR VEGAS.
I THINK I MIGHT HAVE RUINED THINGS.
TRUST ME. I KNOW HOW HE FEELS ABOUT YOU.
HE'S NOT GOING ANYWHERE.
[ Dial tone ]
Woman: Hello? Who am I talking to?
HI. IS THIS CHEYENNE?
You know it, baby.
I'D LIKE TO SET UP AN -- AN APPOINTMENT.
I'M SO SORRY.
I KNOW NOW IT WASN'T YOU, AND I'M SORRY I ACCUSED YOU.
THAT'S FINE. ARE YOU OKAY?
IT'S NOT FINE. I'M REALLY SORRY.
VERONICA...
ALL I CARE ABOUT IS YOU.
OKAY?
DID YOU FIND SOMETHING OUT?
YEAH.
DO YOU WANT TO TELL ME ABOUT IT?
I MEAN, YOU -- YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL ME.
I'M JUST HERE FOR WHATEVER YOU NEED, OKAY?
I WAS DRUGGED, BUT I WASN'T...
I KNOW.
I WAS WITH DUNCAN.
APPARENTLY...WE ENDED UP IN THE GUEST ROOM TOGETHER.
AND HE WAS WASTED, AND I WAS...OUT OF IT.
AND I GUESS OUR FEELINGS AND NATURE...
I'M SORRY.
I'M JUST GLAD YOU'RE HERE.
WELL, HELLO TO YOU.
COME IN. COME IN, PLEASE.
[ EXHALES DEEPLY ]
CAN I GET YOU ANYTHING TO DRINK?
ARE YOU HUNGRY OR ANYTHING?
I THINK NOT HAVING TO BUY ME DINNER FIRST
IS KIND OF THE POINT.
WHY DON'T YOU COME SIT OVER HERE WITH ME...
AND RELAX, OKAY?
WELL, MAYBE WE CAN GO SIT OUT ON THE BALCONY.
YOU'RE STILL GONNA BE MARRIED ON THE BALCONY.
NOW...
I WANT YOU TO TELL ME EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT --
THAT ONE THING YOU CAN NEVER GET THE LITTLE WOMAN TO DO.
THEN WE'LL START THERE.
ACTUALLY...
I'D LIKE TO START BY TALKING ABOUT ABEL KOONTZ.
MISS COLLINS, MY NAME IS KEITH MARS.
I'M A PRIVATE INVESTIGATOR FROM CALIFORNIA.
I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU FOR A YEAR.
I KNOW YOU WERE WITH ABEL KOONTZ
AT THE TIME HE SUPPOSEDLY MURDERED LILLY KANE.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
I THINK YOU DO.
THERE'S A PHONE RECORD, CHEYENNE.
ABEL CALLED THE SAME NUMBER AT THE SAME TIME EVERY WEEK.
IT WAS A STANDING APPOINTMENT.
AND BY THE TIME I TRACED THAT NUMBER BACK TO YOU,
YOU'D MOVED ON TO SEATTLE, SAN FRANCISCO, ASPEN.
AND I BET I KNOW WHY.
I PACKED UP MY WHOLE LIFE TO GET AWAY FROM THIS,
AND YOU HAVE TO COME FIND ME?
AN INNOCENT MAN'S LIFE IS AT STAKE.
HE CONFESSED! FOR WHATEVER REASON!
IF I COME FORWARD,
I'LL BE THE MOST FAMOUS WORKING GIRL ON THE PLANET.
I HAVE A 5-YEAR-OLD SON WHO THINKS I'M A STEWARDESS.
A GIRL WAS MURDERED.
DON'T YOU THINK THE PERSON WHO KILLED HER
SHOULD BE THE ONE IN JAIL?
DAD THINKS HE'S A GOURMET -- HUMOR HIM.
AH, SO HE'S GONNA MAKE US EAT TO CANDLELIGHT TONIGHT.
[ SIGHS ]
OKAY. SHOWTIME.
SURPRISE!
WOW.
[ MURMURING ]
SO, IS THIS PARTY NINE MONTHS EARLY OR THREE MONTHS LATE?
I GOT A LOT OF LOST YEARS I GOTTA MAKE UP FOR.
THIS IS MY WAY OF GETTING STARTED.
THAT'S A GOOD CALL.
DUDE, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?
PLEASE TELL ME THIS IS SOME NEW REALITY SHOW
CALLED "MY ***."
GOODBYE, ***.
WHAT?
GET OUT OF MY HOUSE.
YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH VERONICA, YOU LEAVE.
ACTUALLY, YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH VERONICA,
YOU'RE PRETTY MUCH DEAD TO ME.
SO JUST, LIKE, EVAPORATE OR SOMETHING. I DON'T KNOW.
THAT'S KIND OF A GENERAL INVITATION.
IF YOU DON'T LIKE MY GIRLFRIEND, THEN...
JUST START HEADING TOWARD THE RECTANGLE WITH THE ***.
ARE YOU OKAY?
[ SIGHS ]
LOOK, DUNCAN, LISTEN, I WANT TO --
[ SIGHS ]
SO...
ARE YOU, LIKE, DATING LOGAN NOW?
YES, MADISON.
DO YOU THINK HIS DAD'S GONNA DO ANOTHER MOVIE SOON, OR WHAT?
HE'S WAY TOO CUTE TO BECOME A HAS-BEEN.
YOU WANT ONE?
THEY SAID IT WAS SUGAR-FREE, BUT I DON'T KNOW.
YOU DON'T WANT TO DRINK THAT.
WHY?
I'M BETTING MADISON GAVE YOU A TRIP TO THE DENTIST.
IT'S HER THING.
SHE DOES IT TO PEOPLE SHE DOESN'T LIKE.
SHE SPITS IN A COCKTAIL
AND CALLS IT A "TRIP TO THE DENTIST,"
BECAUSE WE'RE IN EIGHTH GRADE.
OW! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
DID YOU GIVE ME A TRIP TO THE DENTIST
THE NIGHT OF SHELLY'S PARTY?
WHAT? HELLO.
I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
DID YOU SPIT IN YOUR DRINK AND GIVE IT TO ME AT SHELLY'S?
LIKE I WAS THE ONLY PERSON'S SPIT
YOU HAD IN YOUR MOUTH THAT NIGHT?
[ LOUD MUSIC PLAYING ]
REGULAR SODA?
WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST FILL THE CUP WITH LARD?
YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU DID TO ME.
OH, MY GOD. I SPIT IN YOUR DRINK.
YOU ARE, LIKE, SO SCARRED FOR LIFE.
AAAAAAAAAAH!
DUNCAN!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! STOP THAT!
THIS IS ABOUT VERONICA, ISN'T IT?!
YOU'RE STILL IN LOVE WITH HER, RIGHT?
ANSWER ME!
[ SCREAMING ]
THANKS FOR COMING, GUYS. I HOPE YOU GOT SOMETHING TO EAT.
SEE, WHY CAN'T IT JUST BE LIKE THIS?
WHY DO THERE HAVE TO BE
ALL THOSE OTHER PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
YOU'RE TOO SHORT.
I NEED TO LEVEL THE PLAYING FIELD.
IS THIS WHERE YOU TAKE ALL YOUR CONQUESTS?
[ CHUCKLES ] NOPE. ONLY THE SHORT ONES.
HEY, I HAVE TO TELL YOU SOMETHING.
WE'RE PAST THE CONFESSIONAL PORTION OF THIS PROGRAM.
WE'RE ON TO FULL MAKE-OUT.
VERONICA, STOP. I GOTTA --
I HAVE TO TELL YOU SOMETHING ABOUT SHELLY'S PARTY.
YEAH!
WHOO-HOO!
GO FOR IT.
WHOO!
I KNOW ABOUT THE SALT LICK.
I'M GONNA CHOOSE TO THINK OF IT
AS ONE OF THOSE NOT-REAL THINGS.
THERE'S MORE.
Duncan: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!
SHE CAN BARELY SIT UP, YOU FREAKS!
WAIT, DUDE. YOU CAN'T BE THE CAVALRY AND THE MARTYR, MAN.
PICK A SIDE.
LEAVE HER ALONE.
♪ YOU'RE BACK ON YOUR OWN ♪
HEY, I'M SORRY, DUDE.
YOU KNOW, MAN, YOU'RE TOTALLY RIGHT.
IT'S NO WAY TO HAVE FUN.
CHEERS.
I JUST WANTED DUNCAN TO HAVE SOME FUN.
YOU KNOW, HE BARELY EVEN SMILED SINCE LILLY...
YOU DIDN'T KNOW WHAT WOULD HAPPEN.
I'M THE ONE WHO'S RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU.
AND I CAN'T TAKE THAT I HURT YOU LIKE THAT.
I CAN'T TAKE THAT I HURT YOU
WHEN ALL I WANT TO DO IS PROTECT YOU.
I WANT YOU TO TRUST ME.
I DO.
OKAY.
[ SIGHS ] I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU,
BUT I COULD USE A REFRESHMENT ABOUT NOW.
HMM.
YOU LEARNED THAT FROM LILLY.
NO, LILLY LEARNED THAT FROM ME.
IT'S ALMOST ENDEARING
THAT I NEED A KEY TO THE LIQUOR CABINET, DON'T YOU THINK?
WOW. SUAVE, HUH?
[ SIGHS ]
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
TWO MINUTES?
OKAY.
YOU OKAY?
THANKS FOR COMING TO GET ME.
[ ENGINE TURNS OVER ]
HONEY, I'M HOME.
Lianne: SO AM I, HONEY. SO AM I.
-- Captions by VITAC -- www.vitac.com