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So, I do believe in God.
As far as the "why" goes, I think it's a little bit more of a difficult question to ask why someone believes in God,
as much as what is the type of God in which they believe, because people have so many different conceptions of what God is.
So, I think it's one thing to ask does this entity exist as something called God vs. how does this entity God interact in my life at all.
And I think that's really the bigger question to ask people, because people have so many different concepts of God,
ranging from God set the world in motion and then just took a step back, to God is actively involved in every little detail that goes on in the world.
So, it's less an issue of does God exist, as much as what type of God exists, which is somewhat of a strange question in its own right.
So, I would even redefine that further as, if God does exist, how do we relate to God and what is our relationship to God just on a day-to-day basis.
I've read William James' "The Varieties of Religious Experience," so, you know, he describes it as a certain emotional feeling that people have - a sense of connectedness.
There have been times when I felt that. I don't recall any time where I distinctly felt an absence of God. And largely, for me, it has to depend a lot more on what is it that I'm expecting of God -
whether or not you think God is itself a part of every step of our lives, whether or not God is overseeing, whether or not God even cares.
One of the reasons why I guess I don't view things in just this "Is God here? Is God not here?" is because I have ...
in my studies, I've found that there are two very essential components to Judaism that are mutually exclusive.
Those are divine providence, best described as what is God's role in the world, vs. free will. Both of them are crucial in Judaism.
Even just going through the Talmud alone you're going to find mutually contradictory statements. Some might quote one or two lines. The Talmud is really big.
You'll find very significant theological statements just in a span of a couple of words that people might magnify and say this is what Judaism believes.
But the truth is if you try to find God's presence, whether you're feeling it or you're not feeling it, that is often less of whether or not God is there as much as your perception, or how much you want to read into something.
If you find that God is present, it could very well be just an emotional reaction that you're having.
If you're feeling the absence, it doesn't necessarily mean God isn't there, as much as how is it that you're seeing in a certain source ... in a certain situation. I'm sorry.
Regarding the free will question, you might think that something is bashert, this certain X, Y, or Z came from God.
It's quite possible, but it's also equally likely that an event occurred for a whole bunch of other reasons.
Similarly, people will often seek God and might have trouble finding God when going through a difficult time.
Maybe they will hold God responsible for a particular tragedy, which is on one hand certainly within the Jewish theology.
But you could also easily say that God didn't necessarily have a direct involvement in a particular tragedy as much as gave us human beings the freedom to set something in motion,
and whatever happened is just a consequence of what it is that people had the freedom to do.