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Darren: I was trying to record this conversation with Eloy but there was a cussword and I already
used 2 cusswords in the video and it was my first 2 ever so. Yeah we're talking about
people who stay in relationships and just are wacked in their head.
Eloy: Aww man uh lemme try this again without the F word. Um people, simply, in my opinion
invest too much, you know, and they invest too much too quickly; that's the problem.
They go out on one decent date and all of a sudden they're going steady. Maybe the second
date, they're in love. The third date, if they have *** intercourse, they wanna get
married. And then they wonder why they have so many ruined relationships. You're not giving
it a chance to actually blossom. Your not giving it a chance to get to know each other
or figuring out whether you two are meant to be. You got these guys crying over their
girlfriends "Oh she's so loyal, I love her, she's beautiful, she's perfect." It's only
been 2 months! You know nothing about her aside from the fact that she looks great when
she goes out with you.
Darren: And that's worth something though.
Eloy: It's worth something but it has nothing to do with who she really is, and her personality,
and that's why so many people get heart broken there like flipping out and crying and cant
get there work done. I mean I know so many guys. There was this one guy, his girlfriend
was playing him. He had known her 7 months tops; they started dating 6 months ago. See
that. One month knowing someone, and they're dating. Now she's playing him, I should know,
because she's talking to me about it. She's trying to play him with me. I'm telling you
look man your girlfriend isn't exactly perfect and he's like in denial; "It's impossible!
She's perfect!
Darren: It kind of takes me to the song for today, Eloy.
Eloy: You have a song for today?
Darren: Well, today's topic we're talking about weird relationships and I recently encountered
a phenomenon that I'm having a hard time getting my head wrapped around and I thought I'd enlighten
people into what it's called. It's called emotional blackmail. Have you heard of this
before?
Eloy: Uhhhh. I'm aware of the concept, yes.
Darren: Well I've heard of it, yeah, I wasn't really too aware of it but its basically when
somebody uses cohersion, uses some type of method to squeeze ya a little bit if you don't,
you know...Here let's start the song and teach ya a little. "They may threaten to make things
difficult for you. They constantly make you feel uncomfortable too." Ok I don't know where
that weird voice came from.
Eloy: Uhhhh huh well that was Darren's ... performance of emotional blackmail...blackmailing not
to listen to him.
Darren: So I don't think today was a good music day BUT. Well...hmmm...yeah...I guess,
Google the term emotional blackmail. I wasn't really prepared for a song about that topic.
I'm not an expert at it. What I AM an expert at is um...well web design and SEO through
Regillo.
Eloy: That would be Regillo, small business solution at regillo.com. R-E-G-I-L-L-O-S.com.
Darren: That's where you'll find it and um well this wasn't supposed to really be a video
about regillo but we're talking about people with...(gets cut off by Eloy)
Eloy: NO, it was a shameless plug, we'll deal with it.
Darren: Yeah it was a plug. So back to relationships and emotional blackmail. So, here's what emotional
blackmail is. It's where, like, in a relationship where there is children they may be used as
a pawn like "hey if you don't do this you wont see your kids" or maybe even sexuality
like "hey if you don't do it this way I'm not gonna sleep with you...If this happens
or you destroy me" or "your not the man I thought you were" or "your not the woman I
thought you were," you know, this or that. It's just, that kind of...uhhhhhhhhh (disgusted).
It.. uuhhhhhh (more disgusted).
Eloy: What you're saying is that emotional blackmail, I would honestly say, listening
to that, that to an extent, it's part of a relationship because your gonna express your
emotions and people are gonna feel bad knowing they hurt you, but emotional blackmail is
when you use it to the extreme; where your using your..the...the fact that someone else
cares about you as leverage to get something that you shouldn't have, you know, obtaining
something you have no right to get by threatening them with their emotions, you know? You have
no right to these things that your saying, you know, "if you don't give this to me, if
you don't do this for me" you know, "you're letting me down, you're hurting me, I'm not
gonna be with you, I'm not gonna give you my love anymore, at which point you become
somewhat of a prisoner in the relationship where you know you shouldn't be there, the
person's bad for you, but they kind of force you to feel hurt every time you consider leaving
them.
Darren: That's exactly it, their shouldn't be threats or any kind of perceived...and
it doesn't have to even be threats, I mean, let's be real, in any relationship the non
verbal appliers too where you get that look from your significant other when you do something
and its like (gives the look and laughs) that crazy look that is like, alright well wait
a second what did I do, hey. Relax, relax, relax.
Eloy: Yeah I mean I believe a relationship should be organic that people need to stop
trying to force them and just see where they go. That's what I was talking about earlier
with people going out, 1 or 2 dates and they're all like "I'm in love!" It's like no, stop
talking about love at first sight and then having sex and believing you should be married.
Can't you guys enjoy each other's company and just see where it goes? I mean, if you
two decide, just simply, because it's the best solution, stop dating others and move
in, and then you move in, but don't do it because you feel like you're supposed to because
it's been 6 months and you've been dating and now the next step is moving in, and the
next step is engagement, and the next step is marriage. That forced conception of relationships
is probably why we have such a hard time finding someone we can enjoy.
Darren: There's too many set roles, you're right, that's like the whole "you know what,
we've been out 2 times we gotta do this"
Eloy: Everything should just happen organically between the 2 people involved. That way you'll
have a healthy, and you'll be happy. You'll relieve yourself from a lot of stress from
the preconceptions of what you should be doing, where its at; you'll no longer be measuring
it by what you've been taught a relationship should be, you know? Like, you know, you'll
tell you're friend "oh we've dated, we went out twice" and he hasn't done this already?
Well, it's none of her business. It's your relationship. It's you two people and let
you guys connect as it comes naturally. I think that is the closest thing to true natural
love. If you're forcing it generically and trying to make it a fairy tale book how natural
is that?
Darren: Its not, its, that's the problem, too, in relationships where it becomes a problem
is where people change, and you cant change in a relationship. People out there of YouTube
if you're actually watching this far into this video, well thank you. I didn't know
that you were paying attention. Anyway, you can't really do that. If you change for somebody
then eventually your not going to like yourself and neither will they and there going to go
and get out of the relationship and find somebody who was like you before you changed.
Eloy: I mean, but you'd have to remember, uh keep in mind that there's a difference
between you know simple compromise like "fine, I'll sleep on the left side of the bed", and
changing yourself. That doesn't mean you should be completely stubborn.
Darren: Nooooo.
Eloy: If your wife tells you hey can you change this cause you know its kind of hurting me,
you're like "screw off! I am who I am. You get the right side of the bed. Screw you."
Darren: Well there's change and there's compromise. Compromise is good. Hey you know what I like
this concept here and I don't know if people would ever watch our video but I think they
would watch this if it were a TV channel.
Eloy: If there were a TV channel we were like cheesily sitting around Oprah.
Darren: Yeah, I have chairs. I have a sofa and everything. I even have...yeah. Could
you get a video camera?
Eloy: Ummm, you know what we should do, is make like a flash video.
Darren: Ok.
Eloy: To umm, to uhhh,
Darren: Thanks for moving into the level of complication that were not gonna complete
it. Alright go ahead.
Eloy: Well no we can make this flash video something that, oh are we still recording?
Darren: We're still recording.
Eloy: Oh hello people out there.
Darren: Yeah we gotta, its YouTube and I do a v-log every day and I was gonna try to make
this my v-log but I usually do a song so, here it was about here, here I'm gonna go
on it's the emotional blackmail song. I can't believe you're being so selfish. This just
isn't like you. You're only thinking of yourself. You never think about my feelings. I really
thought you were different from other people I been with I guess I was wrong. That's the
stupidest thing I ever heard. Everyone knows you're supposed to be this way or that way.
How can you be that way. You're being kind of an idiot. And, man my voice is so awesome.
Eloy: You have a beautiful voice.
Darren: Thank You.
Eloy: You sound like a young Celine Dion.
Darren: Yeah I know it's beautiful.
Eloy: Emotional Blackmail. There you go. You see? Cant you just make it nice, like a Barney
song like "once in a while you're blackmailed and you know, its" ok whatever.
Darren: What??
Eloy: Its like a kids song so people could sing it while they are cutting their vegetables
"You wont blackmail me, you won't blackmail me.
Darren: Emotional blackmail it's no fun, its no good, be yourself, TADA! How's that?
Eloy: There you go! Little jazz hands at the end.
Darren: Alright enough for the V-log, lets make a real like video one of these days.
About our business by the end of today maybe.
Eloy: Maybe, Maybe. This is a fine video, I enjoy expressing myself and anyone who(cuts
off).
Darren: So yeah that was the interesting, I had to bail on that Ruby call. Were recording
video and every click you make is like noticeable.
Eloy: Really? That's not a click that's the ambiance. That's the sound and atmospheric,
volumous music.
Darren: Ok well.
Eloy: It's the new Japanese pop. Yeahhhh. I'm feelin it. So what were we talking about?
Darren: Well were talking about our schedule for tomorrow and for some reason we also decided
this became a webcam video because dude I don't have time to blog, I got a date tonight,
and don't say who its with because this is on YouTube here and I'm trying to keep some
sense of, you know....respect....for my...
Eloy: Definitely Definitely. No I'm looking forward to a call tomorrow, whatever topic
comes up, lets discuss it, lets discuss it and lets make it a regular thing. People might
enjoy getting, listening to our video/podcast. I think it should be a video/podcast? So people
could just get the audio? You know?
Darren: That's correct Eloy. I think we wanna be able to provide our awesomeness on mutli
mediums.
Eloy: Yep yep yep. I enjoy one podcast myself.
Darren: Eventually Ill hold things up and people will sponsor us. "Todays call brought
to you by Stainless Steel Appliance cleaner. Nothin but the best for my stainless appliances."
Eloy: That Ruby girl she's interesting.
Darren: She's interesting. She's a bundle of fire man. She's ready to rock and she is
taking the social media dating scene by storm, Eloy. Do you know that she is known as the
Carey Bradshaw of social media?
Eloy: Really?
Darren: She is.
Eloy: That's awesome. She's also very pretty. I hope she doesn't see this video cuz she
is HOT. Great we are recording.
Darren: Were recording and she is hot and I don't think she'd be offended by that I
mean that's uh...were guys, we have eyes. Guys with eyes, you know we see things but,
but to the girl who I'm going out with tonight, you're who I'm thinking about and I'm not
gonna use the word girl repeatedly and sound like some boy band but you're hot, you're
awesome, I am really into you and, oh wait I'm talking to Eloy, this is creepy. Um.
Eloy: Stop it! Stop gazing into my eyes.
Darren: But it's so romantic when...
Eloy: I know that's the problem.
Darren: Oh man, this videos gonna go viral and its gonna be like the one that makes the
news and they're like "we've had a couple of weird dorks that are creative and they're
smart and they have a passion for awful video.
Eloy: No.
Darren: No, no. I hope not.
Eloy: This is, we, we do the worst recordings ever.
Darren: They're pretty awful but I have to combine the V-log because time wise, seriously,
awesome chick so I'm gonna make sure that I tell her, like, not to watch YouTube and
keep her busy while I'm heading over there so she's not watching this video. Oh god now
the videos too close. Hello. I don't wanna get all mushy on this video, something about
tomorrow. So tomorrow, Eloy, what is our plan exactly? I understand were gonna have a video
made with Rick Ramirez and Michelle was coming over to talk about internet marketing, is
this true?
Eloy: If you're asking me, yeah, uh, potentially.
Darren: I look forward to this video, I don't know why the cameras like moving around and
stuff but uh, just trying to...
Eloy: I referred to us like having a regular video, I mean podcast thing where people can
tune in, listen to us, discuss our business, what we do, how we do it, and you know, not
just our business. Every once in a while just throw in a little bit of fun. A little bit
of grace. A little bit of magic. A little pizazz? Jazz hands? Yeah. That stuff.
Darren: Is this still on video, so you can see me or what's up?
Eloy: I can't see you.
Darren: Oh well what's the point, then? So V-log for April 22, 2010. This is Darren Williger
and Eloy Claudio. Here's the plan. Going forward were going to start doing You Stream where
its live and interactive and not just a video of us randomly talking about stuff, but a
video of us randomly talking about stuff with a purpose.
Eloy: If I haven't been formally introduced my name is Eloy Claudio.
Darren: Eloy Claudio. I'm gonna take a sign and show people your web address.
Eloy: I don't know what I do. I'm like a jack of all trades.
Darren: His name is Eloy Claudio. Yes. It's kind of like C L Audio.
Darren: Its nothing like C L Audio.
Eloy: EloyClaudio.com. EloyClaudio.com will take you to my B B and R page ratings to see
some of the stuff I work on.
Darren: He makes really awesome art and if you wanna hire him, you gotta go through,
Regillo. That's R-E-G-I-L-L-O. Because, he's awesome. And he makes our artwork, and my
cameras jumping around. So, Eloy is in New York and he is in charge of art direction.
He will take your new media campaign and make it look a hell of a lot more like you need
How you package it. Its how you communicate visually. Because no matter how good your
Darren: This is very correct. So in addition to a comprehensive social media campaign coupled
only available to the largest of corporations. Oh I know, I've been working with the largest
Eloy: The new old media marketing firm.
where I'm in my kitchen talking, walking around talking with Eloy but were talking about your
but now, now I profit with it and you will too. I made $80 million for Dell in 3 years.
Eloy: That's what you just called it, ok.
know, shadow hand illusions? You heard of that new website, Eloy? It, what is it called?
oh what is it again? Its hand shadow illusions, right? Like hand, shadow, illusions, like
She's awesome. She is awesome. Eloy is she awesome?
Darren: I liked it. It's a take.