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The story of China starts with Peking Man He lived in Beijing he was a real caveman
Me caveman. Ug! Life just fine.
Until I came along. Cro-Magnon?
Good bye. (Clubs Peking Man)
My people evolved near the Yellow River Where we made lotsa silk from the lowly caterpillar
And started 3 dynasties, Hsia, Shang and Zhou And then a cat came along his name was Lao
Tzu I taught a school of thought which I called
"the Tao" I wanna learn the Tao, can you please tell
me how? There's nothing to learn. It's the way of
"no way" Which way?
Wu Wei! No way!
Yes way! Next all of China learned to obey
The proper ways of acting when "Confucious Say."
Levels of authority, morality, sincerity Are taught to the masses and passed to posterity
The Tao, I Ching, and Confucious, la Were bases of philosophy in old China.
Say, did you fellows forget about me? You come later on.
Oops. Sorry. With the Qin/Han dynasty peace came to all
What about the huns? Arg!
Let's build a great wall! That kept out the huns, and things were real
mellow A silk road, paper money, and this old fellow
Hey guys, I'm back. It's Buddha.
That's me! I come from India with a new philosophy!
The next dynasties were Tang and Song Things were invented like porcelain
Yay! The printing press
Yay! And gunpowder too.
Narrator: It came in with a ***. Owch!
And just in time too. We rulers were compelled to build the great
wall longer Cause the Mongols from the North, they were
getting stronger Our leader was Kublai, grandson of Ghenghis
We Mongols went to war And the war went agin' us.
They took over China Our Dynasty wasYuan
And the Chinese people they shouted KAHN!!
Hey, what's the problem? Marco Polo liked us plenty
I stayed seventeen years, wrote a book, stole spaghetti
We kicked out all that Mongolian beef Ow!
The Ming Dynasty was quite a relief The best one of all, it was orderly too
'til some new rulers came Manchu!
Bless you! Now we were kinda shy, we closed China's door
But we British kicked it open with the *** War.
Say what? That's drugs! That's right. Got a problem?
We're gonna kick you out with the Boxer Rebellion. Fat chance. *** ***. Our weapons are strong.
by the way, *** you, we're taking Hong Kong The next 100 years got a little crazier
China became known as the "weak man of Asia" We had a world war, the dynasties did end
we saw the last emperor, and the rise of Sun Yat Sen
To make a modern nation was my mission number one
But communism came And me! I'm Mao Tse Tung.
My little red book led China's evolution Collectives, 5 year plans and the Cultural
Revolution Bai hua qi fang, bai jia zheng ming (Revolutionary
Opera break in Rap) The people really like me.
No we don't. Yes we do.
Well, I guess you are divided so I must bid adieu (Mao Tse Tung dies)
The death of Mao Tse Tung meant a change in China's vision
I'm Deng Xiaopeng, father of commu-capitalism I modernized China, increased its industrial
might. And Tiannamen Square?
Huh? Human Rights!
China got stronger, took back Hong Kong and Macau
Gimme. Produced great athletes.
Who's that tall guy? Yao.
But for economy number three, an easy time it ain't
We put taikonauts in space, but on toys we put lead paint
We own half America's debt, our need for oil is growing
Where all this will lead, there's just no way of knowing
Napoleon once called China a giant not awake Let the giant stay asleep else the world's
a-gonna shake