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Sam entered a rather fancy reception area. Why didn't his company have a place like this?
he thought, as he snuck sneakily up the stairs. He caught two guards with their pants down.
If only he had something throwy and explodey... and then he realised he did!
It went beautifully, as the nade landed right next to the- WHAT THE HELL? What do they put
in these grenades? Talcum powder? Since these *** bombs were about as effective
as tossing an empty beverage can, he lobbed them without mercy at the two guards, hoping
to confuse them into submission. It worked. The first guard collapsed from
boredom and the other went into a day-dream, questioning why his life. Yes, he didn't manage
to finish his question as Sam fired proper bullets at him!
Sam came across a bloke who he swore he had seen about 10 times before. Only this one
was hurt! Remember the guy in the burning building from
like, YEARS ago? Well, this is the developer's solution to transporting somebody.
Yup, they 'die' and Sam has to carry them somewhere. They simply aren't capable of walking
there on their own! Sam forgave them for this and did as he was told... but little did he
know, he wasn't alone. This bit's for suspense, just letting you
know. This hacker had been faking death and sprung
to life as Sam lowered him onto the bed. Slacker. Sam was about to interrupt the slacking hacker's
game of Minecraft but SUDDENLY... Not a good time to get caught, but at least
health wasn't a problem! This medikit surplus could easily be remedied,
given bad guys' bullets' attraction for Sam's soft, supple and marginally wrinkly flesh.
Nope, he didn't want to be disturbed, so Sam carried on.
A bit off-topic, but has anybody noticed this is the 13th episode of Sam's adventures? If
Sam was superstitious, he'd expect something bad to happen soon!
That PC's never going to get fixed now. But never fear. Sam loves the Red Screen of Death.
This bit's boring... so here, have some funny voices.
In short, Ivan could burn in hell for all the agency cared. They only wanted to use
him, just like everybody else! Sam felt pity for poor old Ivan the not so terrible.
Ha, as if you've missed something! Miss THIS!
The bad guys fell and Sam proceeded to his favourite sort of place, followed by another
of his favourite places. ...and then back to his first favourite sort
of place, which also seemed to be Ivan's. But probably not at this very second.
Well... this is awkward. Sam put a stop to this!
Aha! Ivan must have been important- he had his
own face and everything! Though Sam didn't appear to be too interested in that part of
him. At least our dear Sam is honest.
In all honesty, Sam got bored, skipped this bit and went for the elevator.
Time for some funny sounding voices again. Sam came out at some kind of construction
site, filled with bad guys. They immediately spotted him and a huge battle broke out.
This continued for a while. The enemies kept coming, and Sam kept shooting. Who would win
in the end?! Uh... it turned out that they would. Sam reloaded
the level... but something wasn't quite right. The place had become infested with zombies!
Sam led the way against the attack, followed by some agency people who turned up to give
Sam a hand, since there were so many bad guys up there.
They came from everywhere, but Sam's elite aim kept them safe as they battled towards
the helicopter. It was all going so well... until Sam encountered
a tank! He ran, but his team-mates didn't do so well.
Nooooo! Sam cried, as the helicopter flew off. He was alive, but had lost a good friend
in the process. If only he had acted sooner. In the next episode, the agency gives him
some sexy new clothes and a sexy new team-mate... but nothing will fill the hole left in Sam's
heart.