Tip:
Highlight text to annotate it
X
When a robot takes his job
Robot P. Coltrane.
Rosco drowns his sorrows.
Leave the bottle.
Bo.
And the Dukes are hogtied.
Wait.
You can‘t do that. Ooh.
I like these.
Frankly, Scarlett I don‘t give a..
Trust me.
[guitar music]
[Waylon Jennings singing "Good Ol' boys"]
♪ Just the Good Ol' Boys ♪
♪ Never meaning no harm ♪
♪ Beats all you never saw ♪
♪ Been in trouble with the law ♪
♪ Since the day they was born ♪
♪ Straightenin' the curves ♪
♪ Flattenin' the hills ♪
♪ Someday the mountain might get ‘em ♪
♪ But the law never will ♪
♪ Making their way ♪
♪ The only way they know how ♪
♪ That‘s just a little bit more ♪
♪ Than the law will allow ♪
♪ Just the Good Ol' Boys ♪
♪ Wouldn‘t change if they could ♪
♪ Fighting the system ♪
♪ Like a true modern day Robin Hood ♪♪
(Luke and Bo) Yee-haw.
(The Balladeer) Most ordinary days in Hazzard
would be pretty extraordinary anywhere else.
And this one ain‘t no different.
It commenced when Bo, Luke and Daisy
were heading for Hazzard for store bought groceries.
And some trouble was heading the same way
in the person of Rance and Marv.
Rance, riding shotgun worked for a big electronics firm
in Atlanta until yesterday.
Relax, Marv.
We stole the merchandise and nobody saw us.
It went just like I planned.
I know, Rance. I know.
I‘ll just feel a lot better
when we get up here to this abandoned shed. That‘s all.
We‘re gonna be rich, Marv. Rich.
With what we got in the back of this truck
we‘re gonna be in fat city.
[horn blaring]
That guy‘s getting awful close.
[horn blaring]
Bo.
Y‘all alright?
- Yeah, no thanks to you. - ‘No thanks to us?‘
We wasn‘t the ones trying to pass somebody on a turn.
Keep your hands off that. That‘s private property.
Shoot, I was only trying to help you out.
Yeah, well, in that case
why don‘t you help us out by letting us move along.
We got important business in New Orleans.
New Orleans? You headed in the wrong direction
Thanks for the advice. We know where we‘re going.
You never gonna get there, driving the way you do.
‘That‘s our business, isn‘t it‘'
I wanna talk to you about that..
Bo, come on.
- He can‘t talk to her that way. - That‘s right, he‘s rude.
[engine revving]
Did that rube get a look in the back?
No, but we gotta get to the cabin.
Okay, give me the map.
Okay. If we turn left here at Jimson Lane cutoff
that‘ll take us right to the cabin.
What do you suppose they had in that truck?
- They didn‘t want us to see? - I don‘t know, but, uh
Frankly, Scarlett, I don‘t give a damn.
[instrumental music]
Now don‘t get your ear under there, Flash.
‘You‘ll mash your little velvet ear.‘
I‘ll pop this old hubcap.
Almost scuffed you there.
‘Oh, good grief.‘
Those pesky, Dukes.
Hey, Rosco.
- Hi. - Need some help?
No. Are you kidding? Of course I need help.
I got a flat tire here, and it‘s all yours fault.
Wait a minute, how‘d we to do that?
He‘s getting to it.
Well, it‘s very simple.
Made me wear it down to a nub chasing you three, that‘s how.
How can we argue with reasoning like that.
- Let‘s go boys. - I‘ll get the spare.
Hey, Rosco, give me that thing before you hurt yourself.
That‘s them, that run us off the road.
Never mind that. He‘s doing at least 65 miles an hour.
And I haven‘t got my ticket quota yet.
Okay, I‘m gonna commandeer your vehicle.
We‘re in hot pursuit! Get, Flash.
Think the company will pay the ransom to get that thing back?
They got millions invested in that thing back there.
They‘ll pay.
It isn‘t just the money with you, is it?
That‘s for sure.
I was the chief engineer‘s assistant for nine years.
The day they finish that thing they fired me.
And he got all the credit.
[instrumental music]
Those hicks are following us again. Get on it.
If you lose that truck.
I‘m gonna get you for-for not speeding.
[music continues]
Hold on.
Yee-haw!
This time they got the law with ‘em.
Alright, there.
Shame, shame, everybody knows your name.
Now, you two are going into town with me.
- What for, officer? - Are you kidding, fella?
I mean, you were speeding. Alright, you, Duke boys.
Call Cooter and get him to get his truck out here.
- And tow my vehicle in there-- - Now, listen, officer--
Listen. No, you listen.
Get in that vehicle before I get you for resisting arrest.
That‘s a no-no. Good. Get in there. Go on, go on.
Oh, I tell you, police work‘s my life. I love hot pursuit.
But you guys were flying and Flash, she loves hot pursuit.
What a beautiful day in Hazzard County.
I‘ll tell you, that‘s a good day for making money.
Any way you can.
Oh, Rosco P. Coltrane don‘t mess with him here in Hazzard.
Especially a stranger. You are strangers here.
Okay, we‘ll just park it right here.
- Rosco? What happened? - I got ‘em, I got ‘em.
Oh, listen. I got two hot ones. Two speeders.
I caught ‘em just flying.
Oh, you did? Ha ha ha.
I sure hope they was going the limit.
Oh, yeah.
- Alright, alright. - Still want top dollar on ‘em.
- Ha-ha. - Alright. Get on down there.
I want you to meet the commissioner here.
This is Commissioner Hogg.
Well, thank you very much, Sheriff Coltrane.
I‘m J.D. Hogg, county commissioner around here.
That‘s him.
According to correct investigatory procedures
it‘s my duty to find out why y‘all was racing through
our fair county lickety-split, the way you was.
Why don‘t you just open the back door of that there truck
‘we‘ll find out, what‘s so important.‘
Yeah, that‘s my sentiments exactly.
Get it open, there.
Let‘s see what you got there.
Yeah.
Well, not much, I‘d say.
No.
(Boss) ‘Look, it‘s gotta be..‘
- I‘ll be hornswoggled. - At least.
Bobby Joe..
...this is Commissioner Hogg and Sheriff Coltrane.
Oh. Ha ha ha.
I know what a hog is. What is a Coltrane?
Good day, gentlemen.
The feeling‘s the same on this end.
What is, eh..?
(Boss) ‘Look, now. Look. Look.‘
I mean, he talks, now he walks.
Well...I ain‘t too sure about that.
I tell you, that is something. He really is something.
May I?
Oh, you may.
Oh, look at that.
(Boss) Ain‘t he something, Rosco?
My, oh, my. Look what he done
He can‘t fool me, he ain‘t no he.
- What? - That‘s a robot.
I can see by his beady red eyes
flipping back and forth like that.
The Coltrane is quick.
It has a perfect grasp of the obvious.
- You can say that again. - Well, I appreciate that.
Oh, it‘s a robot you had in the back of your truck.
- Name of Bobby Joe. - Yes, sir, Mr. Hogg.
You listen. I‘ll knock you..
You see, Bobby Joe‘s the reason we were in such a hurry.
He‘s my, uh... he‘s my invention.
He‘s one of the world‘s first voice activated
self circuit motivated models.
- He is? - Yeah.
My partner and I are our way to Atlanta, to sell him.
You were. Well..
Tell me, what else can this Bobby Joe robot do?
Oh, anything a human being can do, only better.
Are you kidding?
Name one thing that pile of scrap metal can do.
That a highly-trained, professional, lethal lawman
like Rosco P. Coltrane can do.
I could, I‘m warning you.
See, l give you a last warning.
I‘m serious now.
Thought you‘d give up.
Oh.
The Coltrane is fun to play with.
And to think that he tried to arrest
you two fine gentlemen.
Well, listen, it wasn‘t my fault.
It was the, Dukes. They made me do it.
(Rance) ‘They been causing us grief, since we entered this county.‘
Maybe I can settle accounts with you.
While at the same time, you prove to me how versatile
your, Bobby Joe robot really is.
What‘s Boss doing with those two men, that Rosco arrested?
Dispensing a little shade tree justice, I hope.
Yeah.
Let‘s take a look.
[Bobby Joe beeping]
Pedestrians, halt.
You are in violation of Hazzard Penal Code, Section 1-7
loitering and impeding vehicular traffic.
Humans must not interfere with machines. That‘s a no-no.
Move along, have a nice day. Nice day. Nice day.
I give up, Boss, what‘s this about?
It‘s all about your $20 fine for all your violations.
‘But since I‘m feeling charitable‘
I‘ll make it a package deal and charge 10 for all of you.
- Yeah. - Now, would you please.
Cough it up before I change my mind.
I ain‘t money.
- I got it. - ‘Daisy, pay the guy, will ya‘'
Who belongs to this thing, anyhow?
It belongs to these two fine gentlemen who built him.
‘They was on their way to Atlanta‘
when fickle finger fate brought ‘em
to the *** of our fair community, which is me.
I will accept the fine.
[Bobby Joe beeping]
Precisely $10 in authentic U.S. currency.
Each serial number is legitimate.
[Bobby Joe beeping]
Oh, I‘ll take it.
And thank you very much, Bobby Joe.
N-now, would you please.
Gentlemen, would you just follow me into my office?
I‘m gonna make you an offer for the robot, you can‘t refuse.
Mr. Inventor, you tell me how we‘re gonna get out of this one.
- Maybe we don‘t want to. - What?
We sell Bobby Joe to Hogg, and then we steal him back
and ransom him to the company just like we planned.
Hey..
- Kind of a double whammy. - Yeah, come on.
It‘s kind of cute.
Come on, Daisy. That talking hunk of tin, just cost us $10.
- Cost you? - Yeah, well.
I don‘t like them two guys
any better than the first time we met ‘em.
Me neither, told us they‘re going to New Orleans
they tell Boss Hogg Atlanta. That don‘t make no sense.
Hey, tell me something.
Why would they be selling that robot which is so valuable.
To Boss instead of a company or to the government or something?
We got a lot of questions.
I‘ll bet this truck‘s got some of the answers.
22, 23, 24, 25,000 Simoleons.
Ha ha ha.
- Like we just agreed. - Can I see--
And you gentlemen will get the other 25,000
when you show me how to work, all them dials and switches.
So that I can make him do just like you.
Yes, sir.
- Mr. Hogg. - What?
Them, Duke boys are stepping on our toes again.
Tell me, what are they doing? Oh, look at them.
Uh-uh. They got their nerve, jumping around the truck.
Rosco, get out there, and arrest them, Dukes
for breaking and entering, tampering and anything else.
- You can think of. - I‘m gone.
Mr. Hogg, think he can handle it?
Well, if he can‘t, I‘m sure Bobby Joe can.
- No problem. - Yeah.
I didn‘t know inventors used guns when they invented.
Put it down. Learn something every day.
Alright, you, Dukes.
Come out of there with your hands up.
- Now we‘ve had it. - Come on out.
I know you‘re in there. I can hear you in there.
One, two..
Wait. Wait.
See you later, Rosco.
Stop them, Dukes.
- Well, come on. - It ain't moving.
[beeping] Escape does not interface with existing law procedure.
Lord, take a look at this.
Rear left tire out of alignment.
Alright, this is treason.
Alright, you Dukes, get out of the vehicle.
That‘s what I call law enforcement!
Please do not touch metal.
Hogg hands are greasy from breakfast chitterlings.
Oh. Excuse me.
Alright, then, Enos.
Hustle these Dukes to the hoosegow.
Wait just a pea-picking minute, I can handle this.
You? You can‘t handle breathing the air around ya.
No, I got more important things in store for you. Come on.
And boys, you come too and bring my robot.
Better you than that old bucket of bolts.
Well, it‘s not your fault. You‘re just following orders.
Better give Uncle Jesse, a call.
- We‘re gonna need bail money. - Sure thing, Luke.
(The Balladeer) Jesse had just enough money to bail Daisy, Bo and Luke out.
But the way things were fixin' to turn out
the Dukes would‘ve been better off staying in jail or in bed.
(Boss) ‘You call yourself a highly trained‘
‘professional lawman, huh?‘
- ‘All I can say..‘ - ‘All I can say is‘
‘I‘ve had to deal with your gross inefficiency‘
‘for the last time. Brother-in-law or no.‘
‘From now on, consider yourself a civilian.‘
(Rosco) ‘A civilian?‘
Yeah, I got myself a new sheriff.
- Oh, a new sheriff? - Uh-huh.
A sheriff who don‘t need no vacation pay
no sick pay, no per diem, no fringes, no pension
- No perks! - No 50 percent of 50 percent?
He don‘t need that neither.
Enos ain‘t the man for the job. He‘s an idiot.
(Boss) ‘For once you‘re right. Mm-hm.‘
On account of, I hereby am taking this here sheriff‘s badge
off you and pinning it on the new sheriff
of Hazzard County, Bobby Joe Robot.
Our circuits are simulated. We are now a Coltrane.
Robot P. Coltrane reporting, sir.
Robot P. Coltrane, that‘s good.
But, Boss, he ain‘t got a heart.
The robot ain‘t got a heart, Rosco ain‘t much on brains
and things are looking bad in Hazzard.
Boss, we couldn‘t help but overhear.
I think you‘re being a hasty in letting Rosco go. Ain‘t ya?
A little hasty? Oh-oh, do tell.
Listen, I thought you, Dukes would be jumping for joy
to see Rosco out of office.
Well, Boss, now Rosco‘s got his faults.
But shoot, you can‘t replace him with
‘some reject from a science fiction movie.‘
J.D., you‘re running true to form
penny wise and a whole bunch of money foolish.
That‘s right, Jesse.
Oh, you see, I‘d like to know what happens
when that Federal Reserve truck comes in Monday morning.
‘I‘d like to see what that tin can does‘
‘to protect that $300,000 in your bank, Boss.‘
Oh, holy hen. I plumb forgot about the money.
Oh, Boss, uh... Bobby Joe can take care of that.
(Marv) ‘Yeah, he‘s programmed for bank security.‘
Now, now, I want you, Dukes and the ex-sheriff
to vacate the premises.
Alright, fat boy.
You can‘t fire me, ‘cause I‘m gonna quit.
Oh, well, well. Alright-alright.
I accept your resignation.
On account of, it saves me the cost of severance pay.
- And I accept your gun too. - Well, wait a minute.
On account of that‘s county property.
Well, wait-wait-wait..
I sure am sorry about this, sheriff.
I want you to know I ain‘t gonna let that robot call me dipstick.
I appreciate that, Enos. Now, just..
(Boss) ‘My oh, my, you sure look nice.‘
- Enos, they pay their fine? - Yes, sir, they did.
- Well, then clear ‘em out. - Yes, sir.
- Glad to be gone. - Thanks a lot, Boss.
- Mr. Hogg? - Yeah?
Since Bobby Joe‘s gonna guard your money
I think we ought give him, a look at the bank?
Of course, the sooner the better.
Alright, follow me. We‘ll go out the back. Come on.
Marv, that $300,000 is as good as ours.
Come on, come on, what‘s keeping ya? Come on.
Come on, Flash. No, darling, no.
We...we can‘t go in hot pursuit no more.
Your daddy‘s been replaced by a bucket of bolts.
It‘s just..
It‘s just you and me, velvet ears.
All I‘ve got is you and my youth.
Poor old Rosco. Being replaced by a hunk of metal.
That robot‘s gonna mean nothing but trouble.
Boss running around with that kind of manpower
ain‘t gonna be good for us.
We just gotta convince Boss that those two jerks
aren‘t what they claim to be.
We need a lot of good evidence. We don‘t know where to start.
Maybe we do.
I found a map of Hazzard, in their glove compartment
with an X marked on Jimson Lane cutoff by Route 7.
What would they mark up a map of Hazzard for?
One way to find out.
While you boys are doing that
I think Rosco would like to talk to somebody about now.
Daisy and me will try to catch up with him.
(The Balladeer) After Boss showed the bank layout
to his two new best friends
Rance showed Boss how to operate the robot.
Being Saturday, the bank was closed to the public.
Now, did you tell me that this here, red switch
well, that‘s, uh, to make him voice-activated?
(Rance) ‘That‘s correct, sir.‘
I‘m gonna try that now.
The Hogg has a nice touch with the controls.
Bobby Joe, light my cigar.
Smoking is bad for your health.
But your slightest wish is my command.
I like that, my wish.
Mr. Hogg, your hat‘s on fire
- I‘m on fire! Do something! - The surgeon general is right.
Oh-oh.
Oh.
My, oh, my. With a robot like this
I can get rid of my whole fire department.
- Uh, Mr. Hogg. - Yeah, yeah.
Considering the fact that Bobby Joe‘s
gonna be guarding your $300,000.
I think it‘d be a good,
if he had the combination and the key to your vault?
- Oh, no. - Just for emergencies.
Never-never-never. On account of it
If I did that and somebody got a hold of this here
control box, they could get Bobby Joe to steal all my money.
Oh, of course, you‘re right.
So only you knows the combination?
Oh, naturally.
Only you have a key to the vault?
My ex-sheriff has a duplicate key, in case I lost mine.
But, then again, without the combination
that key wouldn‘t do him nor nobody else no good.
Uh, I wonder, Mr. Hogg.
If we could leave this in your vault for safekeeping?
- Ain‘t that the money I give? - Yes, sir.
- You want it in the vault? - Yeah.
Well, it‘d be my pleasure.
Well, that‘s mighty nice of you.
Here. I‘ll get the key.
And then..
I wonder if you gentlemen wouldn‘t mind..
Oh-oh-oh. No, sir.
Not at all. We‘ve something to do.
- Got something to do. - See you later.
- See you later. - ‘Bye, have a good time.‘
‘Let‘s see now, that‘s, uh, 11 to the right‘
27 to the left. Yeah.
(Boss) ‘And 14.‘
We‘ve got to get the key from that sheriff
and we are gonna be $300,000 richer.
Wait a minute, how we gonna do that?
By playing onto the fact that he just got fired.
And giving him a chance to become a hero.
[dramatic music]
Marv. I put this map in the glove box.
- What‘s it doing out here? - I don‘t know.
The Dukes.
- If they find our hideout-- - Hey, we can‘t let that happen.
- No matter what. - Well, what about the sheriff?
He can wait. The Dukes can‘t.
[engine revving]
[dramatic music]
Here‘s the spot where that X was on Daisy‘s map.
Nothing out here but weeds.
And Deak Clancy‘s hunting shack.
I‘m surprised you forgot about it.
Why, there..
They‘ve been nobody out here for years.
Except you and Lucy Mae last summer.
(Bo) Hey, look at that. Fresh tire tracks.
Somebody‘s sure as heck using it now.
Doesn‘t look like anybody‘s around.
- Take a look inside. - Alright.
At least now we know where they‘re holed up.
They sure ain‘t just passing through town.
[tires screeching]
- Find anything? - Uh-uh.
- You? - Yeah.
As a matter of fact, look at this.
It‘s addressed to the president of Atlanta Robotics.
Huh.
- Ain‘t sealed. - Ain‘t stamped.
Holy smoke.
"This is a ransom note
demanding $200,000 for the return of the robot
or the robot will be destroyed."
You can read. Alright.
That qualifies as evidence, don‘t it?
Sounds like it to me.
[instrumental music]
[engine revving]
Rance, coming at us.
[tires screeching]
Well, we got company.
Gotta make sure they don‘t stay back there too long. Hang on.
[music continues]
Well, maybe they didn‘t find the cabin.
Hazzard County‘s their turf. They found it, alright.
We can assume they found the ransom note.
- Where are them fellas now? - Right behind us.
That guy didn‘t look like he‘d drive like that.
[tires screeching]
I bet he can‘t follow us through Artie‘s Auto Yard, though.
Uh-oh. Our shortcut‘s been cut short.
Gee, hang on.
- What are you looking at? - Uh, Bo.
(Rance) ‘Gotta go around.‘
- Great. Better take a look. - Yeah.
Doesn‘t seem to have done any damage or nothing.
No, put that back on. We‘ll get the heck on out of here.
[dramatic music]
Hang on, Luke, I‘m on my way.
Hold on, guys hold it.
I expect you fellas found the ransom note.
Dang right we did, Rance, old buddy
Next time you see this, it‘s gonna be Exhibit A.
I don‘t think so.
Well, now.
Since you two do-gooders lead such a clean life
I don‘t expect you‘ll need time for praying.
(The Balladeer) Now, hold on.
These computer boys are getting carried away.
[dramatic music]
Hold it, Marv. I got a better idea.
There you go, let‘s talk about it.
Rance, let me just finish ‘em.
Just wait a second, now, Marv, uh..
I like Rance‘s idea a whole lot better
whatever it is.
Think we‘ll tie ‘em up.
Take them back to the cabin with both vehicles.
Voice-activated button.
Now, then, Bobby Joe.
Firmly affix this napkin around my neck.
- Affix napkin firmly. - There.
Oh, wait a minute. That, no-no-no. That‘s too..
- Too what? - Tight.
Ugh. Oh.
I‘d rather do it myself. Communication failure.
You said "firmly," which means to securely fasten.
- Yeah, I know, I know. - Chow time, huh?
(Bobby Joe) ‘Greetings, former Coltrane.‘
Hogg, may I have the Coltrane to play with?
Out of my way, you pile of pot metal.
You tinker toy.
Boss, I‘ve just been thinking it over, and I
I thought you might wanna rehire me as your sheriff, you know?
Instead of this oversized, humongous erector set, you know?
If you‘ve got anything to say to me well, I‘m listening.
Yeah, well, I got nothing to say to you..
...on account of you‘re still ex-sheriff.
Now, just run along and let me eat in peace.
Oh, I haven‘t eaten myself.
You know, one of these looks good.
I mean, I like these.
I hope you come down with a bad case of rust. You..
Oh, Bobby Joe, between you, me and this control box
I‘m going to make Hazzard County
my own personal golden goose.
(Rance) ‘What do you suppose Hogg would do‘
if we told him, the Duke boys were planning to rob the bank.
(Marv) He‘d send the sheriff to pick ‘em up.
Meaning the only law to protect all that money is Bobby Joe.
(Bo) ‘Great.‘
Gonna add bank robbing to your list of crimes?
We‘re not gonna take a fall for robbing any banks.
We sure as heck ain‘t.
I think he‘s talking about Rosco, dummy.
Very good.
We got lots to do. See you later, boy scouts.
Rosco ain‘t exactly on my Christmas list
but we gotta get out afore they do all that.
You better save your breath for struggling and not for talking.
They tie a good knot.
(Daisy) Lost Sheep, this is Bo Peep looking for ya. Come on in.
- Try it again. - Alright.
Lost Sheep, this is Bo Peep and the Shepherd looking for ya.
Now come on in.
Uncle Jesse, it ain‘t like Bo and Luke
not to check in with us when they promised.
That CB of theirs has been acting up.
(Jesse) 'It wouldn‘t hurt if we go look for ‘em.‘
Well, we ain‘t getting nowhere fast.
I know it.
- Hey? - Huh?
- Got me an idea. - How‘s it feel?
Cute.
If I can get a hold of that piece of glass..
Here, hunker down a little bit.
Alright.
Maybe we can cut these ropes free.
Watch yourself.
(Bo) ‘There. I got it.‘
‘If I just work it over this way‘
‘Oh, man.‘
If it were my money in that vault
I‘d wanna see those Duke boys behind bars.
Mm. Yes, so would I.
Alright, alright.
Um, uh, Gussie, give me the county jail.
Enos, this is J.D. Hogg calling.
Listen, wake up and pay attention.
I want you to find Bo and Luke
bring ‘em back, lock ‘em up and throw away the key.
Possum on a gum bush, Mr. Hogg. We only got one set of keys.
That was only a figure of speech, ninny.
But what have they done?
It ain‘t what they done, it‘s what they‘re planning to do.
Which is rob my bank. Listen, if you don‘t find ‘em
I‘m gonna replace you with another robot.
A stupid one.
[dial tone]
Yes, sir, Mr. Hogg.
Well, that ought to do it, huh?
Well, not quite, Mr. Hogg.
That doesn‘t, uh, conclude..
...the complete financial part of our transaction.
- About that $25,000 I owe ya. - Yes.
‘I haven‘t got that here. I keep it with my private funds.‘
Have to go over to my office at the Boar‘s Nest to get it.
No-no-no, I just can‘t leave the bank unprotected.
With them Dukes on the loose.
Mr. Hogg, you‘ve got Bobby Joe here.
Of course I do.
I know, I‘ll make him voice activated.
Little red button there. That‘s right.
Bobby Joe.
See that no one gets near the vault till I return.
Shouting unnecessary.
[Hogg chuckling]
I‘ll just check it out now.
- Bobby Joe, release Mr. Hogg. - Hogg said no one near vault.
- I meant no one else. - Poor communication.
[Hogg grunts]
You think you can shimmy up this pipe a little bit with me?
There‘s an old joint that don‘t look like
it could take...a whole lot of stress.
Come on.
[both grunting]
- Got her? - Yeah.
Come on, start pulling at it.
(Both) One, two..
(The Balladeer) And while Bo and Luke was looking to free themselves
Jesse and Daisy was still looking for them.
Back at the Boar‘s Nest
Rosco was drowning his sorrows in buttermilk.
I want some more.
And that stuff will kill ya.
Leave the bottle.
Rosco‘s a goner for sure.
Oh, it ain‘t gonna help.
Here it is, gentlemen.
My very own Boar‘s Nest. I‘ll go get your money.
I‘ll be right back.
- Sheriff? - Oh. What?
Oh. Sheesh.
You know, Marv and I are sure sorry
to be the cause of you to lose your job.
- Yeah. - We‘d like to make up for it.
You want to make up for it then you can get rid of that junk.
With those beady red eyes that go zipping back and forth.
Sheriff, you know that we can‘t do that.
I‘ll tell you what we can do.
What?
Might be able to get you your job back.
Are you kidding? Huh?
How-how would you do that?
Well, I overheard the Dukes talking about robbing the bank.
- Yeah. - The Dukes? Robbing a bank?
See? Shame-shame on them. I knew that, see.
- Yes, he said it. He said it. - There you go.
What if we could arrange for you to catch them red-handed
while they was robbing the bank.
- Oh, that would be marvelous. - Hey.
I bet not only would Mr. Hogg give you your job back
but probably a nice raise to boot.
Oh, he would. He‘d give me my job back and..
Well, he wouldn‘t give me a raise.
But he would give me the job.
How are you gonna.. How is he..
How are we gonna arrange that?
Why don‘t we just buy you a drink and we‘ll talk about it.
No, It‘s on me. Bartender.
Set up the boys. Mm, there you go.
Would you rather have this on the rocks?
- No, no. - No, no.
(Both) One, two, three..
Alright, bend her down a little further.
Get these ropes off.
Come on. There we go.
Nice.
You gotta use..
- You alright? - Yeah, I think so.
Let‘s get out of here.
All we gotta do now is CB Boss and tell him what we found out.
Boss, it‘s-- Ah, terrific.
Compliments, Marv and Rance.
Well, we still got wheels. Let‘s use ‘em.
[engine revving]
I‘ll meet you there in 15 minutes..
...just like you told me.
I‘ll tell you something
Old velvet ears is gonna really be proud of her daddy.
It‘s a dog, it‘s a..
Alright, gentlemen, here‘s your money
25,000 Simoleons. Counted it all. That‘s what took so long.
Now, here‘s the bill of sale. All you gotta do is sign it.
Yeah, right down there on the dotted line. Yeah.
And Bobby Joe Robot will be mine.
- All yours. - Yeah.
I better get back to the bank before them Duke boys come--
- No, wait. - Mr. Hogg.
What?
If you were the Dukes, and you saw you in the bank.
- What‘d you do? - Yeah.
If I had any sense, I‘d hightail it.
Of course, by that time I, being me
would have them, being them, under arrest.
Mr. Hogg, you can‘t arrest a man for thinking about robbery.
No, you gotta catch him in the act.
Yes, of course.
Why don‘t you go in there and wait by your telephone
and Marv and I‘ll go stake out the bank.
When the Dukes come to rob it Bobby Joe will apprehend ‘em.
We‘ll call you to come over and make everything legal.
Oh, yeah well, that‘s a good idea.
Alright listen-listen here, you gotta take this
that‘s the key to the front door of the bank.
- Thank you, sir. - Oh, thank you.
You know, you two gentlemen
you sure are awful good to me, for strangers.
Well, that‘s how strangers get to be friends.
- Alright, I‘ll be waiting. - Okay, sir.
- I‘ll be waiting. - We‘ll call you.
[instrumental music]
[tires screeching]
[siren wailing]
Uh-oh. Bad news. Picked up Enos.
Bo, Luke, Mr. Hogg wants me to bring y‘all in.
(Luke) ‘That means that Marv and Rance got to Boss‘
and Boss got to Enos.
Yeah, which means if we stop for Enos he's gonna arrest us.
Which means we ain‘t stopping.
[siren wailing]
Bo, Luke, I‘m asking y‘all again to please stop.
(Enos) ‘I‘m sure everything‘s gonna be alright‘
‘once you talk to Mr. Hogg.‘
Well, at least Bo and Luke are all safe.
Yeah, but why is Enos chasing them?
We better get to town.
[music continues]
[siren wailing]
- Is Enos still hanging in? - Yeah, dang it all.
We ought to lose him by the top of the hill.
(Luke) ‘There‘s no way around that truck.‘
Maybe if you was to catch it right at the top.
Give it a shot.
- Now or never. - Hang on.
(The Balladeer) Now Friends, when a Duke says "hang on"
you better pucker hard. You‘re fixin' to fly.
- How did we do that? - I don‘t know.
Just don‘t do it again, alright?
(Bo) ‘Let‘s go to bank.‘
I sure hope Mr. Hogg didn‘t mean what he said about the robot.
Meanwhile, Sheriff Coltrane was following
the plan laid out for him by Rance and Marv.
Where are the Dukes? You told me they‘d be here.
They‘ll be here any minute, sheriff.
Matter of fact, Rance
I think we‘ve time for rehearsal, don‘t we?
- Yeah. - A rehearsal? Oh.
A rehearsal, I love show biz.
This‘d be the biggest moment of your life.
Big.
- Wanna get it right, don‘t you? - I wanna get it right.
- Alright. - What do I do?
Why don‘t you squat down under that desk.
Wait, you want me to hunker down underneath that desk?
- Yeah. - Well, why not?
- Gotta suffer for your art. - All the way underneath.
(Bobby Joe) ‘Be careful of your head.‘
- Oh. - ‘Good work.‘
Marv and I will pretend like we‘re the Duke boys.
We‘re gonna sneak over to the safe like this, see.
Wait a minute. Wait a minute, here.
Now, listen, while you‘re pussyfooting around here
what happens to this bucket of bolts? What‘s he doing?
We‘ll get to that later, sheriff.
Now, Bobby Joe, what is the combination?
[beeping]
Eleven right, 27 left
14 right.
Now, sheriff, hand me your key.
Well, listen, uh, how did this bucket of bolts
learn the combination of that safe?
Oh, now, Rosco. Boss gave the combination to the robot.
(Rosco) ‘He did?‘
When you arrest them, he‘ll think the robot was in on it.
- You can take ‘em all to jail. - Oh, I get to take ‘em..
Listen, I‘m.. Oh, the key.
There it is, that‘ll unlock it.
It‘s just..
The Dukes. The bad guys.
Oh..
- Give us a little help. - There you go.
- Thank you, sheriff. - Well, you just wait.
Oh, yeah.
(Bobby Joe) The Coltrane is apparently very smart.
I wouldn‘t have done that.
- Okay. - Stay on the lookout.
Oh yeah, I‘m watching you, see? I‘m sneaky too, see. Oh, yeah.
- Sneaking. - You‘re sneaky.
But I‘m watching all the time.
And then I holler, "Freeze! I‘ve got ya."
This is the best part. I cuff you and stuff you.
- Not yet, sheriff. No. - Eh? Not yet?
- Make a small adjustment. - Oh, good grief.
(Rosco) ‘Oh, what‘s that?‘
Okay, get ready, Bobby Joe.
- ‘What‘s this button here? Oh‘' - ‘Nothing.‘
Sorry.
Now, sheriff, you come get us.
Alright.
Goody, I have a Coltrane to play with.
Oh. Alright, easy, listen
I don‘t wanna play this game no more.
Listen, call him off.
Very funny. Oh, that ain‘t funny no more.
Hands off. Oh, he‘s serious. Listen, call him off now.
Let‘s go.
By the time Hogg figures out we'll be out of the country.
Wait, what about the robot?
Forget the robot, we‘ve got twice what he‘s worth to us.
Wait a minute, don‘t go wait. Freeze.
(The Balladeer) Bo and Luke was nearing town
but they had no way of knowing they were too late.
And when Boss didn‘t get the phone call
that he was expecting
he decided to see what was happening at his bank.
I sure don‘t know why they didn‘t.
I just can‘t wait all night, that‘s for sure.
Listen, we can be friends, but this is ridiculous.
Oh, wait a minute. The vault‘s open, my money.
[Hogg weeping]
My money‘s all gone! My money‘s all gone!
- It ain‘t my fault. - Rosco, you..
If you tell me where your accomplices, the Dukes
took all my money before Bobby Joe captured you
I might find it in my heart to see to it
you don‘t get more than 20 years for robbing my bank.
I can‘t get it, I didn‘t take it.
You know, this time tomorrow
we‘re gonna be sitting high on the hog in South America.
Hey, Marv, slow down.
We don‘t want any law stopping us.
[tires screeching]
- Boss? - Rosco?
(Boss) ‘Oh, no, look-look-look.‘
‘The thieves, returning to the scene of the crime.‘
Them guys who sold you the robot stole it from Atlanta Robotics.
- They stole it. - Right, we got a ransom note.‘
If you don‘t believe us, ask Rosco. He‘s been snookered too.
For once these Dukes are telling the truth.
We can stand here and talk or me and Bo can get after your money.
- Yeah. - Oh, no.
Then go-go-go.
- Boss? - Rosco, Rosco.
Why didn‘t you tell this in the first place?
Well, I tried to, Boss.
Your flapping little mouth was flapping so fast
that your flapping little ears couldn‘t hear.
Listen, get-get him off of me.
Alright, I‘ll try, I‘ll try.
I‘ll try.
- He‘s strong. - I can‘t move him at all.
I‘m sure he‘s not.
Listen, I need the control box.
They took the control box.
- Oh, no, no. - Listen.
Alright, I‘ll use voice activation.
Oh, good.
Bobby Joe, I order you to let him go.
I‘m set in limited function to guard the bank
and play with the Coltrane.
- He‘s not listening. - Alright, I‘ll get him.
I‘ll get him out if it‘s the last thing I do.
- Oh, it‘s giving. - It‘s giving.
‘And to respond to fire.‘
You can‘t do that.
Oh. You can. Alright, now you‘ve made me mad.
Bo they ain‘t heading back to Atlanta, go that way.
[tires screeching]
(The Balladeer) Meanwhile, Jesse, Daisy and Enos rode into town
and were trying to help Boss free poor Rosco.
(Boss) ‘Everybody pull on the count of three.‘
- Here we go. - Right.
(All) One, two, three.
(Bobby) ‘This is fun. Everyone wants to play with the Coltrane.‘
J.D., this just ain‘t gonna get it.
- You can say that again. - Have you got a screwdriver?
Screwdriver? Yeah, must be one in the drawer.
Yeah, here‘s one.
You know, there‘s gotta be some circuitry in that thing.
- Yeah. - And if there is.
- Yeah? - And we can get at it.
- Maybe we could short it out. - Yeah, good idea.
(Bobby Joe) Caution, repairs should be made only by qualified technicians.
Hey, wouldn‘t some water help to the job, Uncle Jesse?
- Get some water, that‘ll do it. - That‘s the way.
Push in there.
- There is the circuit. - It is.
There she is. Alright, everybody get back.
- Get back. - Yes, yes.
- Yeah. - Alright, let her go, Daisy.
Mayday. Mayday. Mayday. Mayday.
Mayday.
Boy, he‘s headed for that big junkyard in the sky.
- Yeah, he‘s gone. - Alright, now you.
You go. Go on, go after my money.
I‘m not going unless I go as sheriff of Hazzard County.
Yeah, well, if you go get my money
you‘ll come back as sheriff of Hazzard County.
- Oh. - So go.
Come on, come on, come on.
Oh. Enos, come on, you dipstick.
Go with me.
I just love it when he calls me that.
Alright, you go. That‘s right, the two of you. Go on.
Well, J.D., you got everybody into a really fine mess.
I hope you learned your lesson.
[instrumental music]
I bet we‘d close the gap if we cross Hazzard River
there up at, uh, Iron Mountain.
I thought they was blasting up there.
No-no, that ain‘t till the 13th.
[music continues]
Didn‘t that sign say "blasting up ahead?"
Would you..
Come on, they always put them signs up early.
They‘re not blasting till the 13th.
Today‘s the 12th, trust me.
Bo, today‘s the 13th.
(The Balladeer) Bo‘s lucky day.
[tires screeching]
[music continues]
It‘s the Dukes. How did they get here?
Never mind that, we gotta lose 'em.
(Rance) ‘I think I know how.‘
The driver must have gone in for help. Good.
[explosion]
(The Balladeer) You know, that computer feller is plumb dangerous.
Hang on. Cut ‘em off.
Cut 'em off.
[tires screeching]
(Rosco) ‘Slam on the brakes. There they are.‘
See there. Aha.
Alright, unhand those prisoners, you Dukes.
Alright, Enos, cuff ‘em and stuff ‘em.
Yes, sir.
Good thing we got here when we did.
Otherwise, those guys‘d probably beat you guys to a pulp.
Oh, thanks a lot, Rosco, for all your help.
Yeah, It‘s alright. Enos, get ‘em on to the car.
Rosco, ain‘t you forgetting something?
Oh, yes. It‘s Enos‘ fault.
- Rosco. - What?
Oh, give me that money.
Oh, shame on you. It‘s Enos‘ fault.
If brains was dynamite old Rosco couldn‘t blow his nose.
(The Balladeer) First order of business was turning over
Rance and Marv to the state police.
Alright, Rosco, believe you me you‘re a lucky man.
And finally, true to his word
Boss rehired Rosco as the sheriff
making everything in Hazzard County normal.
(Bobby Joe) ‘After being in Hazzard, normal is a relative term.‘
[theme music]
[music continues]