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Uh, yeah, can I get a round of some dinosaur meat and a gallon of mead
Dinosaur meat? We don't have no more.
How about a salad? It's organic!
Oh, god. No thanks.
We got some rat stew if ya like!
You know what? That's fine.
I think I'll pass.
You want dinosaur meat? My unpaid sex-slave sells them for cheap at the market square.
Unpaid sex-slave? You mean your wife?
He calls it wife! Oh, this is bad....
Wait... what?
What in tarnation? Did that man just say wife? We don't have to call 'em wives!
'Round here we call 'em unpaid sex-slaves!
What is your major malfunction you retard?
We are in the olden days, women here are considered property, ya heard?
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be no retard.
I think I should be going.
Too late for that now. We don't like your kind around here. Preaching about equality of genders.
We're sending your lifeless corpse to the castle guards! On guard!
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Take it easy now! I've said some wrong things in the past but you've got to admit
this is just a bit ridiculous. I mean, you guys unreasonably refer to wives as unpaid sex-slaves...
That's just sort of....
Ridiculous? Unreasonable? I'll show you ridiculous and unreasonable you ungrateful scalliwag!
Oh... you know what let's just talk....
Look! There's a bird over there, you guys, there's a bird over there! Hey! Ow! Oh my god.
Alright! I'm so sorry! I'm sorry! Let me run inside here!
Oh crap! It's a dead end.
Ow! My face!
You know what?
Your *** is grass! Time to go!
Take that! And especially you!
Okay. Time to get out of here.
Aw great, the town's guards.
"I went to the doctor and guess what he told me, guess what he told me"
"He said girl you better try to have fun no matter what you do! Well he's a fool..."
"'Cause nothing compares"
"Nothing compares to you."
Oh no! Oh no... I blacked out!
Aw crap! I'm getting into so much trouble for this!
"Shine bright like a diamond"
Finally, some dinosaur meat!
Whoooop!
Ten
Nine
Eight
Seven
Six
Five
Four
Three
Two
One!
Howdy doody, stranger. What would you like to drink? Anything I can get for you?
Sure, I'd just like a black coffee, please.
A black coffee?! We don't have anything like that! Here we call it a coffee with no milk and a latte!
What? Sure, I'll just get that then.
You know what here, son? We don't serve your kind around here!
... What kind is that?
Alright, I'll just leave then, I guess.
The door is that way! Now go on, git!
Alright. Geez, lady.
Gosh.
I needed some coffee before school today too.
What a jerk.
Oh well.
It's not like...
not like...
Well, it's not like anyone was inside here anyway.
Time to go!
Whoa! Hey...
Hey now, wait a second. Who are you guys? Why are there so many of you?
Look what we have here boys! Hehehe.
Yeah! It's a Mexican!
Look. We heard you was a racist for ordering some black coffee!
Whoa! Black coffee? Wait. What does that mean -- how does that mean I'm a racist?
We know you're a racist! We knows ones when we sees ones.
Come on, boys! Let's show him a thing or two!
Let's...
Get him boys!
Aw, great. Not again.
"Near"
"Far"
"Wherever you are..."
"I believe that the heart does go on...."
"Omigod, omigod, omigod, I'm out of here! Screw you guys! See you!
So you see, class.
If Lindsey Lohan, gets out of jail on this approximate time
during this approximate hour
and if Kim Kardashian gets re-married and divorced here at this moment and at this
particular time, once this train leaves from Philadelphia and arrives in Los Angeles at five
How many oranges do I have in my hand?
Anyone know? Can you tell me? Anybody?
You can raise your hand.
Don't all raise your hand at the same time.
Mr. Bigglesworth, can you just write that on the blackboard, please?
The blackboard?! What are you talking about? This is not a blackboard! It's a chalkboard, right class?
You know what we do to racists?
Get him, class!
Omigod! Oh, no! Why do you guys all have weapons?
Why's everyone have guns in this... omigod!
Okay, stop! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!
I'm sorry. What do I do?
Here we go. I found this baby here!
Let's go!
"She wears high heels"
"I wear sneakers"
"She's cheer captain"
"And I'm on the bleachers"
"Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find"
"That what you're looking for has been here the whole time"
"If you could see that I'm the one who understands you"
"Been here all along. So, why can't you see - you belong with me"
"Standing by and waiting at your backdoor"
"All this time how could you not know, baby -"
"You belong with me"
"You belong with me"
"Oh, I remember you were driving to my house..."
Geezus. Why does this just keep happening to me? Well, I guess school's over.
"I am the hammer"
"I'll bring it down"
"So vile"
"I am the jury"
"I blast"
"I am the hangman"
"I strike"
"The despicable"
Nice. The post office. Maybe my Jane Austen books have come in finally.
I think I'll go check.
Happy Holidays, citizen.
Yeah. Merry Christmas!
Happy Holidays, citizen.
Okay. Yeah. Whatever.
Look! There's a ***!
Look, I say! There's a ***!
What did you just say?
I said there's a ***!
Right there! There's a *** in your armor right there!
Oh. This?
Yeah, I've been getting shot at quite a bit these days.
Give that to me and we'll have it fixed in no time!
Well, here your books are! And a Happy Holidays to you too!
Oh. Hey. So glad to see that there are still nice people around.
Merry Christmas!
What? What did you just say?
Did you just say Merry Christmas?
Yeah! I said Merry Christmas! What a joyous time of the season!
Listen here, kid. It's Happy Holidays. I'll have none of the Christ-merry going on around here!
Understand?
Say it one more time, and I'll make sure you'll be eating through a feeding tube for the rest of your life!
Geez. Yeah. I'm sorry. I got it. I won't say Merry Chris-
There you gone done it again! Cletus, let's take this poor sucker out o' the tool shed!
Oh. Oh no. Wait, don't. I just came here to pick up my Jane Austen books.
Well you're going to have more than Jane Austen to worry about after today!
Get him, Cletus!
I gotta get outta here!
"Aerials"
"In the sky"
"When you lose small mind you free your life"
"Shine bright like a diamond"
"Find light in the beautiful sea"
"I choose to be happy"
"You and I"
"You and I"
Life is harsh.
And it's a struggle.
In fact, all we do in life is struggle...
To stay alive... or at least feel like we are.
Wouldn't the process of trying to appease over-sensitive jackasses
by hiding facts with alternative words
be the same as telling a small child that babies are delivered by storks?
I mean, wouldn't you say it'd be more offensive? And insulting?
To treat adults as if they were still children?
Oh well.
In time, the truth eventually surfaces. If one searches hard enough for it.
If forced to choose between lies or the truth
I'd say most would prefer the truth no matter how harsh.
Political correctness attempts to veil false layers of decency over taboo topics
Further removing us from the actual truth.
I don't think one should run from the truth.
Are you... even listening to me?