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My iPhone is completely frozen. What can I do other than chuck it out a window in frustration?
If it is a particular app that isn't working, force it to close via the app's preview. If
the whole phone is frozen, hit the sleep-wake button and turn it off.
That's like hitting control - alt - delete on a Windows machine. If in doubt, reboot,
is like their first suggestions.
Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. If the restart doesn't work, you could reset
it.
If I do a reset, whether via a remote wipe or recovery mode, I lose all my data.
That's only if you do a restore, which is almost the final solution. That's why you
should backup your data often.
What if resetting it doesn't work.
If resetting doesn't work immediately, charge it all the way. Try to turn it on, and if
it is still locked, do the reset again.
Rebooting a device a couple times in the hope that it works makes me feel like I bought
a Windows phone.
Your final option is connecting the iPhone to your computer and connecting it to iTunes.
Then restore the device.
What if the restore via the computer doesn't work?
You could manually force it to go to recovery mode and then try to restore it.
And if that won't work, I have an overpriced paper weight.
If that doesn't work, go to the Apple store.
To buy a new phone.
Well, hopefully their in store tech support could try to fix it first.
It shouldn't take a genius to fix a frozen phone.
Apple's tech support in the store are called its Genius bar.
They aren't geniuses. They designed a headquarters that is a mutated cross between a UFO and
a mushroom.