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"My mother made it!"
And I have one of those mothers you know
that no matter what you want
she has the ingredients at home
You say: " Mom, I want to stop at Mc Donald's!"
She goes: "I've got hamburger meat at home"
"But I want Mc Donald's hamburgers"
"I make you a hamburger better than McDonald's"
"Better than Mc Donald's?"
"That's right, when we get home you can help mama make it"
You say "***, better than Mcdonalds?"
You mother says "Go get me that big black frying pan
from under the stove"
and you hand the big black frying pan
and she said
why you're in there
I want you to go to the refrigerator and
get me chopped meat
and while youre in there
...get me a green pepper and an onion"
And you say "Ain't no green peppers in McDonald's"
I'm not making McDonalds, I'm making mama's burger
I need green pepper and onion
and while you're in there, get me an egg or two"
"What are the eggs for?"
"I want a hamburger, you're making egg mcmuffins!"
"I'm not making no egg mcmuffin,
I don't even know what a damn egg mcmuffin is"
"Just gimme the egg and *** your mouth"
And she takes the egg and green pepper
and chop the pepper in big chunks,
not even dice it, big chunks of green pepper
and onion and mix and egg
and put paprika in it and make a big meat ball
and put it in the middle of the frying pan
And at McDonalds the meat is this thin
and your mother's *** is this big or fatter
green peppers hanging out of it, and a big split in the middle
and grease popping out of it,
and you look at it while it愀 popping
and you go looking at the grease in the pan
and you think to yourself
"that don't look like no mcdonalds"
your mother goes like
"Go to the refrigerator
and get me the bread out of the bread box"
and go and look inside the bread box and you go:
"Mom, we don't have no hamburger buns"
"all we have is wonder bread"
"That's what I said:
get the bread out of the bread box!"
You're gonna put it on a square wonder bread?
"Goddamnit, bread is bread,
youd better bring it before i a slap your mouth"
"You dont know how much that bread cost
and give me some *** about wonder bread...
"this is wonderbread, a hamburger is a hamburger
as you make it!"
"and out it in the middle of square wonderbread"
At Mcdonalds they use buns, the meat covers all bread,
at your mother the meat is in the middle of the bread
with grease running through the middle,
making the bread stick to the plate
Now the green peppers hanging out of this
big meat ball under bread
and you try to put some catchup on it
and the mess with the grease
turn the break into pink dough
then you grad and fingerprint it
and get big pink fingerprints on the dough
and youre look at it and
trying to make it look like Mcdonalds
so you rip the edges off around
to make it look round
and you have green peppers and
grease running down your hand
And you mother says "Now go outside and play"
And the other kids got Mc Donalds!
Theyre outside and say "we扉e got McDonalds"
"Hamburgers... Mcdonalds!!!"
"I've got Mc Donalds!"
And you stay there with this big house burger
and the kids go
"hey, where did you get that big welfare green peper burger?"
And you cry...
"My mother made it!"