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(Walking Alongside)
CORRINNE OLIVER: Kia ora. Ko Corrinne Oliver tōku ingoa.
Like Minds, Like Mine coordinator here at Supporting Families Wairarapa.
I have a team of 11 presenters, and we go out into the community
and we present workshops around stigma and discrimination,
hearing voices that are distressing.
We have a weekly radio show,
and all the presenters that get to participate in that
at whatever level they're comfortable with.
It's on a Monday, from 10 to 11.
And so we interview anybody that's in the community,
it can be people who have been part of the recovery for our presenters, it might be their whānau members,
it could be people in the community that are happy to talk about their lived experience with mental illness.
We've had people that have stopped me in the street and talked to me about the show,
and that they've tuned in and found it really helpful.
We've also had people ring up the radio station and say,
"It's great," you know, "Keep it up."
And we had awards last year, and our show got an award.
This year we're entering a national radio competition.
And that's with the interview that Daniel did with John Kirwan,
and that we recorded when he came and did the book launch.
In fact John Kirwan, at the end, said to Daniel,
"How long have you been a journalist for?"
And Daniel said, "Just today!" [laughs]
And so he was really like, "Wow."
It was a fabulous interview, and so I think that was probably a pretty surreal moment for Daniel.
DANIEL READ: The first time I did the show was about October 2009.
I'd just started on the other side of the controls,
and I'd just interviewed another person,
and then I sat behind here, with Corrinne, I think it was, she was doing the show,
and I just sort of watched and wrote notes.
I think the first time I really did it by myself,
Corrinne went out for just a second, I thought it was just supposed to be a second,
and a song was playing in the meantime, but she came in later,
so I was forced with no option but to just go on by myself.
And it was probably the best way to do it, I think.
Now, I've been able to... I'll do a show myself about once a month.
It's quite weird doing the radio, because I actually have Tourette's Syndrome.
And when I... when the radio's on, especially when it's live and that, I think,
"I hope I don't have a tic."
Tics are just sort of a thing that I do, I might suddenly just start moving around
or making random noises or something. Quite weird, happening...
Tourette's Syndrome and then just being able to go on there, onto live radio,
it seems like the last sort of person you'd want.
CORRINNE: Often people don't ask people about their experience
because of the fear, you know, "Am I going to say the wrong thing?"
And I always say to people, "Ask. Ask away."
You know, it's better that you ask than sit there and don't ask.
So you know, absolutely, anything's a go, we'll talk about it with you.
If you go and visit somebody who is unwell and they don't answer the door,
don't let that be a barrier, don't let that put you off to going back again.
And whether you pop a card in the post, because people... it's really nice to get mail.
Nice mail that's not a bill. Pop a card in the post to them.
And certainly, that's what I did for my whānau down in Christchurch after the earthquake.
For myself, when I was suffering from depression,
my father was one of the main key support people.
I was in Adelaide at the time, and he actually lent me the money to come back.
I was in a... not a very good relationship,
and it was my marriage, and wanted to come back home,
and my mother made the comment, you know, "You made your bed, you lie in it."
Well that didn't help me at all.
Whereas my father, they're divorced by the way, but my father was the one that was supportive.
I didn't know who to talk to about it.
I think that was the thing, you know, who do I tell about what's happening for me?
And there was also that fear of having the children taken off you cause you weren't well.
Having key people that stay involved is really important.
Sometimes people can become over-protective of the person who's unwell.
Because they're worried about what might happen for them out in the community,
so they become... can become over-protective
and not let their loved one actually go out and do things for themselves.
Part and parcel of the journey is if you can walk alongside of somebody,
not in front of them or behind them but alongside of them,
and be supportive, then that makes a huge difference.
We know that caregivers of somebody who's unwell, and this goes right across the board,
any caregiver, can burn themselves out.
Like they forget to look after themselves, they're busy looking after their loved one,
and they actually, you know, forget to actually do that stuff to keep themselves well.
And so it's compassion fatigue. And also counsellors and people that work in the area,
of any supporting agencies, can often become fatigued from it.
And so it's about looking after yourselves, as well, as the caregiver.
And recognising that it's really important that you look after yourself,
first and foremost, before you can actually look after somebody else.
And certainly, that's what we do with the Like Minds team as well
is that work on looking after ourselves and keeping ourselves well,
walking the talk, I suppose, so that when we go out
and present, we're also presenting our best foot forward.
Treat your loved one or your friend
the same way that you did before you found out that they had a mental illness.
When my friend discovered that she had breast cancer,
I went to the Cancer Society here and got some books,
read up about it, and tried to find out for myself information
rather than ask her all the time.
I wanted to know how I could support, and what was happening for her.
So as well as asking, I also read up.
So become informed, come into places like Supporting Families,
get some brochures, get some pamphlets, read some other people's stories,
you know, come along to the Like Minds, Like Mine workshops.
Hear some of the presenters share their stories.
Don't be afraid to ask questions. When people say to you,
"What would you like to know?" Ask those questions.
And I think that's how you'll change your perception because you'll become informed.
And people that become informed have that power to make those decisions.