Tip:
Highlight text to annotate it
X
- PREVIOUSLY ON
THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY...
- IF YOU HAVE ANYBODY THAT'S DRIVING WITH YOU
AND IS A NUISANCE IN THE BACK SEAT,
TELL 'EM TO GET OUT.
- EVEN IF SHE'S TOPLESS.
- RICH WANTS TO BE THAT COOL DAD
'CAUSE THE MOM IS ALWAYS RESPONSIBLE FOR EVERYTHING.
- NICHOLAS WAS DIAGNOSED WITH AUTISM.
HE STOPPED SAYING, "I LOVE YOU."
- I LOVE YOU. - OH, MY GOD!
- YOUR HUSBAND'S BEEN WORKING ON THAT.
- AFTER WHAT JACQUELINE DID TO ME,
MY BROTHER'S HANGING OUT WITH JACQUELINE.
- LET'S GET REAL HERE. - I AM REAL.
- PUSH JACQUELINE OUT OF THE EQUATION.
- NO.
- 'CAUSE SHE'S GOT NOTHING TO DO WITH IT.
TERESA DOESN'T WANT TO SHARE HIM,
AND THAT'S THE PROBLEM.
- BELIEVE ME, I WANT TO TRY TO MAKE IT WORK FOR THE KIDS,
BUT THE KIDS ARE NOT STUPID.
THEY KNOW IT'S KINDA FAKE.
YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I TRY WITH ZIO JOE.
- MA, IT'S NOT ZIO JOE.
- LISTEN TO ME.
YOU DON'T WANT THAT MAN TO DIE AND NOT SEE HIS KIDS TOGETHER.
- NONNO IS GETTING A PACEMAKER.
GOD FORBID HIS HEART STOPS BEATING--
- HE DIES.
[upbeat music]
- LOVE ME OR HATE ME... [chuckles]
I ALWAYS SPEAK THE TRUTH.
- SEXY LIFE, LOYAL WIFE.
TAKE A PAGE FROM MY BOOK.
- HATERS ARE GONNA HATE.
[screams]
BUT I JUST LOVE, LOVE, LOVE.
- I'VE FACED MY SHARE OF CHALLENGES,
BUT I'M TOUGHER THAN I LOOK.
- IF YOU CAN'T TAKE THE HEAT,
GET OUT OF MY KITCHEN.
♪ ♪
- THAT'S HOW YOU WORK OUT. COME ON. CHEST PRESS.
THAT'S IT. DON'T LET YOUR ARMS FALL ALL THE WAY BACK.
- MY *** ARE GONNA POP OUT.
- YOU GOTTA WARM IT UP, T.
DON'T *** YOUR BUTT UP. KEEP EVERYTHING TIGHT.
- OH, TIGHT, I--
- KETTLEBELL SWINGS.
SQUEEZE THOSE BUTT CHEEKS.
YOUR *** IS LOOKING GOOD.
- TOUCH IT. - TOUCH YOUR ***?
- WHAT ARE WE DOING NEXT? - BALL THROWS. YOUR FAVORITE.
SO WHAT DO YOU GOT GOING ON?
- GIA'S PARTY. - SHE EXCITED?
- YEAH.
- SHE HAVE A LOT OF KIDS COMING?
- SHE INVITED, LIKE, 65. - ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
- YEAH.
GIA'S TURNING 12.
AND THIS IS THE FIRST CO-ED BIRTHDAY PARTY
THAT SHE'S HAVING.
BUT I DON'T WANT HER TALKING TO BOYS.
WHEN SHE GETS OLD ENOUGH, I'M GONNA TAKE HER TO THE DOCTOR
AND IF SHE'S NOT A ***, I'M DISOWNING HER.
- IS YOUR BROTHER COMING?
- I DON'T KNOW.
I MEAN, I SENT AN INVITATION TO THEIR HOUSE.
- THAT WAS A NICE GESTURE.
- AFTER MEETING WITH CAROLINE,
I AM FEELING CAUTIOUSLY OPTIMISTIC.
I'M SURE THE OLD JOEY'S IN THERE SOMEWHERE.
AND, YOU KNOW,
I LOVE PEOPLE TO PROVE ME WRONG.
- WELL, I THINK GIA WILL BE HAPPY TO SEE HIM THERE.
- SHE WILL BE HAPPY. - SHE REALLY LOVES HIM.
- ARE YOU READY TO DO SOME WORK? - ALL RIGHT, WHAT DO WE GOT?
- YEAH, YOU TAKE THE HEAVY ONE. COME ON.
- I GOT THIS BIG--AH!
- [chuckles] - [grunts]
- NICK, YOU GETTING A BED?
- HE IS, HE'S VERY EXCITED ABOUT IT,
ALTHOUGH HE'S NOT SHOWING IT.
THROUGH MY AUTISM RESEARCH, I FOUND THAT
THE HYPERBARIC OXYGEN CHAMBER
COULD POSSIBLY HELP CHILDREN ON THE SPECTRUM.
NOT EVERY TREATMENT IS GONNA WORK,
BUT IT COULD WORK, SO YOU GOTTA TRY IT.
EVEN MICHAEL JACKSON HAD ONE.
- IS HE GONNA SLEEP IN THAT EVERY NIGHT, YOU THINK?
- HE WON'T SLEEP IN THERE, BUT HE'LL GO IN THERE,
LIKE, AN HOUR IN THE MORNING, THEN GIVE IT A FOUR-HOUR BREAK,
THEN ANOTHER HOUR.
- SO HE'LL--HE'LL NAP IN THERE? - YEAH.
- FEEL A LITTLE CLAUSTROPHOBIC IN THERE, RIGHT?
- NO, IT'S ACTUALLY NOT.
- AND YOU ZIPPER IT SHUT? - YOU GOTTA ZIPPER YOURSELF IN.
- AND HOW 'BOUT IF HE WANTS TO GET OUT?
- WELL, NO, SOMEBODY GOES IN THERE WITH HIM.
- SO FAR, THERE HAS BEEN NO HEALTH ISSUES WITH OUR CHILDREN.
THANK GOD FOR THAT.
AS A MAN, AS A HUSBAND, AS A FATHER,
THIS BREAKS MY HEART, MAKES ME REALIZE
THAT MY SITUATION WITH TERESA IS NONSENSE.
YOU KNOW, GOD BLESS THIS WOMAN,
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
PRETTY COOL. LOOK AT THIS THING, HUH?
[oxygen hissing] - HE'S LAUGHING.
- AMAZING. AMAZING.
JACQUELINE HAS A VERY LONG ROAD AHEAD OF HER WITH NICHOLAS.
THE FACT THAT SHE IS WILLING TO TRY ANY MEANS OF THERAPY
IS VERY BRAVE OF HER.
SHE DOES IT WITH A SMILE. IT'S AMAZING.
ALL RIGHT, DO WE WANT TO LEAVE NICK IN HERE?
MAYBE HE'LL FALL ASLEEP IN HERE AND WE'LL JUST--
HE'S HAPPY. - YEAH?
YOU WANNA STAY IN HERE WITH HIM?
THAT WAY I CAN TAKE EVERYBODY DOWN AND--
- THAT'S FINE.
- HE'S LOVING IT. HE'S LOVING IT.
- I'M SO HAPPY HE LIKES IT.
- WASN'T IT GOOD? - HOW EXCITING IS THAT?
- UM, LET'S HAVE OUR CONVERSATION.
I WANTED TO TELL YOU I MET WITH TERESA.
I THINK SHE CLEARLY EXPECTS
AN APOLOGY FROM YOU.
- [laughs]
SHE OWES ME AN APOLOGY.
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? I DON'T WANT ONE.
I DON'T--IT DOESN'T MATTER.
[chuckles] I FORGIVE YOU, BUT I REALLY HATE YOU.
IT'S LIKE YOU CAN'T TALK TO HER, SO IT'S--THERE'S NO POINT.
SO IT'S LIKE SHE SHOULDN'T HAVE ANY QUESTIONS FOR ME,
SHE SHOULDN'T FEEL THE NEED TO TALK TO ME,
SHE SHOULD HAVE MOVED ON.
- WHEN IT COMES TO TERESA,
IN ONE RESPECT JACQUELINE'S GOOD,
AND IN ONE RESPECT, IT'S A DIVORCE.
I DON'T THINK EITHER OF THEM CAN LOOK AT EACH OTHER
AND NOT HAVE ANY REGRETS.
I HAVE TO TALK TO JOE GORGA.
- IT'S A SHAME THAT HE CAN'T COMMUNICATE WITH HIS OWN SISTER,
AND SHE CAN'T COMMUNICATE WITH HIM.
THERE ALWAYS HAS TO BE A MEDIATOR BETWEEN THEM
BECAUSE WHEN THERE'S NOT,
THERE'S, LIKE, AN EXPLOSION. - YEAH.
- TERESA ALWAYS SAYS SHE DOESN'T LIKE
PEOPLE INTERFERING IN HER FAMILY BUSINESS.
BUT SHE CALLS US TO INTERFERE IN HER FAMILY BUSINESS.
MAKE UP YOUR [bleep] MIND.
- I JUST NEED TO FILL HIM IN. WE'LL SEE.
- YEAH.
IT'S UNFORTUNATE.
- CAN I HAVE A SMALL STRAWBERRY CHEESECAKE?
- HERE YOU GO. HAVE A NICE NIGHT, GUYS.
- THANK YOU. YOU TOO.
- IT'S BEEN, LIKE, A LONG TIME SINCE I ACTUALLY
JUST TOOK YOU BY YOURSELF OUT, RIGHT?
- MM-HMM.
- YOU'RE TOO COOL FOR ME NOW.
YOU SHOULD SPEND A LITTLE MORE TIME WITH YOUR FAMILY
AND NOT SO MUCH WITH YOUR FRIENDS
AND, UH, FORGETTING ABOUT YOUR SISTERS AND, UM--
- I DON'T.
- YEAH, YOU DO.
- MILANIA SAYS THE STUPIDEST THINGS.
- SHE'S YOUR LITTLE SISTER, THOUGH.
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO PROTECT HER.
- SHE SAID SOMETHING ABOUT MY BODY.
- WHAT DID SHE SAY ABOUT YOUR BODY?
- THAT I GOT A HAIRY GRILL.
- YOU GOT A HAIRY GRILL? - SHH.
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU GOT, LIKE, HAIRY TEETH?
- OH, GOD.
- OH. SO...
WELL, WHATEVER. IT'S PART OF PUBERTY.
HOW ARE BOYS TOWARDS YOU?
DO THEY TRY TO ASK YOU OUT?
- YEAH. - THEY DO?
- YEAH.
- REALLY? - PEOPLE DATE IN OUR GRADE.
- NO KISSING INVOLVED.
NOT UNTIL YOU'RE 21.
YOU BETTER NOT KISS ANYBODY. IT'S DISGUSTING.
- OH, MY GOD. [laughing] WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?
- BOYS ARE GONNA BE ASKING FOR DIFFERENT THINGS,
AND, UH, YOU KNOW, MAYBE WANTING TO KISS AND THIS AND THAT,
AND YOU DON'T GIVE BOYS ANYTHING THEY WANT.
- STOP. YOU'RE SO EMBARRASSING.
- WITH HER BIRTHDAY PARTY COMING UP,
I TOLD JOE I WANT HIM TO TALK TO HER ABOUT BOYS.
THE ITALIAN WAY IS NOT THE BIRDS AND THE BEES.
BUT SHE WALKED IN ON ME AND JOE!
THANK GOD WE'D JUST GOT DONE.
- I'M JUST TELLING YOU BECAUSE YOU'RE GETTING OLDER
AND I NEED TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT THESE THINGS.
YOU KNOW, BOYS AND SMOKING AND ALL THIS OTHER STUFF,
BECAUSE IT'S ALL PART OF GROWING UP.
- I'M NOT GONNA SMOKE CIGARETTES.
AFTER WHAT NONNO IS GOING THROUGH,
I'M NEVER GONNA SMOKE.
- YOU DON'T NEED TO. IT'S BAD FOR YOU.
AND IT'LL STUNT YOUR GROWTH.
- I'M SHORT ENOUGH. - YOU'RE A MIDGET?
- WELL, YOU'RE A MIDGET, SO I WOULDN'T BE TALKING.
- [laughs]
- YOU GUYS WANT SOMETHING TO DRINK?
YOU WANT A COFFEE OR A WINE?
- NO, I'M FINE FOR NOW.
I WAS TELLING JACQUELINE BEFORE,
I MET WITH YOUR SISTER THE OTHER DAY.
- APPARENTLY I AM THE CAUSE OF THE DEMISE OF YOUR FAMILY.
[laughs]
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
- [laughs]
- SHE STILL HARBORS A LOT OF RESENTMENT,
AND I TRIED TO REASON WITH HER,
AND THERE WERE SOME POINTS
THAT I JUST COULD NOT GET THROUGH TO HER.
JACQUELINE BEING ONE, KATHY BEING ANOTHER.
THE ONLY PLACE THAT I MANAGED TO BREAK THROUGH
WAS YOU.
SHE SAID IT POINT BLANK, "I WANT TO MAKE PEACE WITH MY BROTHER."
HER EYES WAS TEARING UP.
I ASKED HER IF SHE HAD THE OPPORTUNITY
TO SIT AND TALK TO YOU, WOULD SHE?
AND HER RESPONSE WAS, "WELL, YEAH."
TERESA SAID, "SAY YOU'RE SORRY, ALL WILL BE FORGIVEN."
I DECIDED I HAVE A BETTER CHANCE OF CONVINCING JOE
IF I DON'T TELL HIM THAT.
I CHOSE TO LIE.
[dog barks]
EVEN THE DOGS AGREE WITH ME.
- JOE, YOU COULD PROBABLY HAVE A CONVERSATION
WITH YOUR FATHER AT SOME POINT AND SAY,
"LOOK, I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW
MAN TO MAN, I'M TRYING TO MAKE THIS WORK."
- SO--SO, WHAT?
- THIS IS ABOUT YOU FOR YOUR FATHER.
I DON'T WANT--CHRIS, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TRYING TO TELL HIM?
GOD FORBID SOMETHING HAPPENS TO YOUR FATHER,
AT LEAST YOU COULD SAY, "I DID EVERYTHING I KNEW HOW TO DO."
IT'S UP TO YOU WHAT YOU'RE GONNA DO WITH IT.
I DON'T WANT YOU TO HAVE REGRETS.
- COMING UP NEXT...
- THE REALITY IS
ONE OF THESE TIMES HE'S NOT GONNA COME OUT OF IT.
YOU KNOW?
- IT'S SO SLIPPERY OUT HERE TODAY.
- THIS LITTLE, FINE MIST.
I HATE THIS TIME OF THE YEAR.
- WHERE THE HELL'S MY CAR?
[engine revs]
- LET'S TAKE THIS *** OUT, MAN.
YOU PULL UP IN THIS CAR,
GIRLS WILL BE, LIKE, SWARMING ALL OVER YOU.
[both laugh]
THEY'LL BE LIKE, "JOSEPH! OH, MY GOD, JOEY!"
JOSEPH TOLD ME HE'D DRIVEN WITH HIS MOM,
BUT SHE JUST, LIKE, TAKES HIM AROUND THE NEIGHBORHOOD.
I'M LIKE, YOU WANNA BE ABLE TO CUT AND WEAVE, YOU KNOW?
FERRARI'S WHERE IT'S AT. I WANNA BE THE FUN AUNT.
I'M NOT A MOTHER. I'M THE AUNT.
GAS, GAS, GAS.
[horn honks]
OKAY, THERE'S SO MUCH [bleep] TRAFFIC HERE TODAY.
- THIS IS GONNA BE A ***.
- NO, IT'S NOT. JUST PULL OUT INTO THE INTERSECTION A LITTLE.
[horn honks]
- GO AHEAD, YOU'RE NOT GONNA GET CLIPPED.
THEY'RE [bleep] GONNA WAIT.
GAS, GAS, GAS.
[horn honks] EASY, EASY.
OKAY, GAS.
WATCH. WATCH THE CURB.
[horn honks] - WHOA.
- THAT WAS GOOD. [laughs]
DON'T WORRY.
- GO CALL JOSEPH AND VICTORIA. FIND OUT WHAT'S GOING ON.
- JOSEPH!
- I HOPE TO GOD HE DIDN'T TAKE MY CAR OUT.
- WATCH, WATCH, WATCH.
OH! [bleep] SLOW DOWN!
- [bleep] IDIOT. - WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING.
***.
JUST BE CAREFUL SO YOU DON'T RIP UP DADDY'S CAR.
- IF HE'S OUT FOR A JOYRIDE, I'M GONNA [bleep] WRING HIS NECK.
- YOU DID REALLY GOOD, MAN. - YEAH.
- SOMEBODY'S PULLING UP.
- OH, [bleep]. OH, [bleep]. - OH, [bleep].
- LOOK AT THIS SON OF A GUN.
- [laughs] LOOK AT THEM! THEY'RE PISSED!
- THEY'RE LAUGHING.
- LOCK THE DOOR, LOCK THE DOOR, LOCK THE DOOR.
- WHAT THE HELL'S WRONG WITH YOU?
- YOU GUYS SERIOUSLY MAD? - OPEN THE DOOR.
- GET YOUR *** OUT OF THAT CAR. - JUST CHILL OUT.
- ALL RIGHT! ALL RIGHT! ALL RIGHT!
- GET OUT NOW. GET OUT. WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING?
- I'M NOT LAUGHING. - HE'S NERVOUS.
- YOU ARE. YOU GOT A SMUG FACE ON.
- DON'T YELL AT HIM THEN. YELL AT ME.
- IT'S FREEZING RAIN OUT THERE. - IT'S A LITTLE MIST.
I DIDN'T THINK YOU GUYS WERE GONNA BE THIS PISSED OFF.
I REALLY DIDN'T.
- LISTEN, YOU DEAL WITH HER. I DEAL WITH HIM.
- COME ON, KATH.
- SO WHAT DO YOU THINK? YOU LIKE THAT CAR?
DID YOU DRIVE IT WELL? - YEAH, I DID DRIVE IT WELL.
- YOU DID? - YEAH.
- I THOUGHT WE WOULD BE BACK,
AND THEN TELL YOU WE TOOK THE CAR.
I WASN'T GONNA NOT TELL YOU.
- LOOK AT FRIGGIN' MOMMY. LOOK AT HER.
IT'S LIKE, "CALM DOWN."
- THEY WERE, LIKE, ALL SMILES AND GIDDY,
LIKE, WHAT THEY JUST DID, "OOH, JOYRIDE."
AND I'M A LITTLE PISSED.
DON'T LAUGH IT OFF WHEN I'M TRYING TO PROVE A POINT.
I'M TIRED OF PLAYING BAD COP.
- YOU'RE GETTING UPTIGHT FOR NOTHING!
- I JUST WAS WORRIED. - YOU FREAKIN' OVERREACT!
- NO. I WAS WORRIED. - LIKE, "OH, WHERE ARE YOU?
THE DOORS ARE OPEN! SOMEBODY'S GONNA STEAL!"
WHAT ARE THEY GONNA TAKE? THE HOUSE?
- OH, OKAY, YEAH.
- YOU KNOW WHAT YOU REMIND ME OF RIGHT NOW?
WHEN WE WERE KIDS, AND I USED TO BE LIKE, "I'M DOING THIS."
AND YOU'RE LIKE, "I'M TELLING MOMMY."
- KATHY'S SITTING THERE OVERDOING IT.
ALL RIGHT, ALREADY. YOU'RE NOT THE [bleep] GESTAPO.
CAN I SAY THAT, "GESTAPO"?
COME ON THERE, CROCODILE DUNDEE. LET'S GO WITH THAT HAT.
[laughter]
- LET'S GO, LET'S GO, LET'S GO, LET'S GO, LET'S GO, LET'S GO.
- TRE, RELAX.
- LIKE WHOEVER'S SICK, HE CATCHES IT ONE, TWO, THREE.
- YOU GOT TO MAKE HIM A PLASTIC BUBBLE
AND JUST KEEP HIM IN THERE.
FEED HIM HIS WINE, EVERYTHING THROUGH THE PLASTIC BUBBLE.
[phone rings]
- IT'S MY MOM.
HI, MA. WHAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT?
I GOT A PHONE CALL FROM MY MOM AT 3:00 IN THE MORNING
SAYING THAT MY DAD ENDED UP GOING TO THE HOSPITAL AGAIN.
HE HAD PNEUMONIA.
AS SOON AS MY DAD IS IN THE HOSPITAL, I DROP EVERYTHING.
EVERYTHING ELSE DOESN'T MATTER. IT'S JUST MY DAD.
YOU CALLED THE AMBULANCE?
AND THEN, WHAT, YOU CALLED JOEY?
HE WAS SICK TOO. OH.
- [coughs]
[groans]
OH, I'M DYING.
- COVER YOUR MOUTH.
- I HAD SOME SOUP. IT CAME RIGHT OUT OF MY ***.
- UGH! GOD! SPARE ME THE DETAILS.
WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO LAY DOWN?
- OH! I HATE BEING SICK.
YOU KNOW, MY FATHER'S IN THE HOSPITAL,
AND HE'S GOING THROUGH PNEUMONIA.
HIS HEART IS WEAK. HE'S IN BAD SHAPE.
HE'S GOT SO MUCH WATER IN HIS LUNGS. TUBES DOWN HIS THROAT.
- MAKE SURE YOU DON'T GO TO THE HOSPITAL WITH THIS.
GOD FORBID HE CATCHES IT.
I THINK I'LL GO WITH ANTONIA BECAUSE YOU CAN'T GO.
- LIKE, I HATE THEM GETTING OLDER.
- THE REALITY IS ONE OF THESE TIMES
HE'S NOT GONNA COME OUT OF IT, YOU KNOW.
- DON'T SAY THAT. - WELL, IT'S THE TRUTH.
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO? - NOW YOU'RE MAKING ME CRY.
- THAT'S LIFE, BABE.
- I HATE TO EVEN THINK ABOUT THIS,
BUT WHEN MY PARENTS ARE NOT HERE ANYMORE,
THE MOST IMPORTANT RELATIONSHIP
THAT IS GONNA BE IN MY LIFE IS GONNA BE MY BROTHER.
THAT'S WHY WE NEED TO MEND THINGS AND FIGURE OUT
WHAT THE PROBLEM IS
AND BE A FAMILY AGAIN.
- TRE, RELAX.
- COME ON. I WANT TO SEE MY DADDY.
HURRY UP. I WANNA GO.
- WHEN HE'S IN THE HOSPITAL LIKE THIS AND WE'RE NOT ALL TOGETHER
GOING TO SEE HIM, THAT PISSES ME OFF 'CAUSE I CARE.
THAT BOTHERS ME EVEN MORE.
SHE IS OKAY WITH IT.
YOU KNOW, I WAS WITH CAROLINE THE OTHER DAY, RIGHT?
'CAUSE I SAID, "IF YOU CAN GO OVER, TALK TO TERESA."
- WAIT, CAROLINE AND TERESA DON'T EVEN LIKE EACH OTHER.
IT'S KIND OF WEIRD THAT CAROLINE IS HAVING
A PERSONAL CONVERSATION WITH MY HUSBAND.
WHY ISN'T SHE CALLING ME?
CAROLINE, JUST BACK OFF AND LET US HANDLE THIS.
I JUST WANT TO GET TO A POINT
WHERE WE CAN ALL BE CIVIL, TO BE HONEST WITH YOU.
IF WE CAN JUST BE IN THE SAME ROOM,
BE AT EACH OTHER'S BIRTHDAYS.
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
LIKE, I GOT AN INVITE TO GIA'S BIRTHDAY PARTY.
LIKE, THAT'S, YOU KNOW, A STARTING POINT.
BE CIVIL.
- I DON'T WANT TO BE THERE.
I'M SORRY. I DON'T.
- AND WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY
WHEN YOUR SISTER SAYS, "WHERE'S MY BROTHER?"
- I'M SICK.
- I MEAN, IT'S YOUR NIECE. AND IT'S--
- I'M NOT READY RIGHT NOW FOR MY SISTER.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AROUND JOE GIUDICE.
YOU UNDERSTAND?
AFTER THE CONVERSATION WITH CAROLINE,
I THOUGHT I COULD BE A BIGGER MAN, BUT IT'S NOT EASY.
I WANT TO HURT HER 'CAUSE I'M HURTING SO MUCH INSIDE.
- SO YOU'RE NOT GONNA COME WITH ME
TO THE BIRTHDAY PARTY, ARE YOU?
- NOPE. I FEEL LIKE THROWING UP NOW.
OH, MY--
- YOU HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM?
- UGH. YEAH.
I'M GETTING HOT FLASHES.
- COMING UP NEXT...
- IS IT A HAPPY PIG? - NO.
- WHAT'S HIS NAME?
- I LITERALLY HAD CHINESE FIVE MINUTES AGO.
- THAT'S FOUR, THREE...
TWO...ONE MORE.
STAY TIGHT.
- YOU WANT TO WORK OUT, LET'S WORK OUT.
- YEAH, IF WE START DANCING, I'M OFF.
- AND TRIPLE IT.
- [groans] - THREE, TWO, ONE.
- I WANT SOMEONE TO KICK YOUR ***.
- I ACTUALLY THOUGHT KATHY WAS GOING TO THROW UP,
BUT THIS IS ONE OF THE EASIER CLASSES THAT I TAKE.
HONESTLY, IT IS.
- MELISSA.
IT'S BEEN REALLY HARD TO FIT IN GYM TIME.
AND I WISH THAT I WAS ONE OF THOSE GIRLS
THAT COULD EAT WHATEVER I WANT, NOT GO TO THE GYM,
AND BE SO FABULOUS.
NO. THOSE GIRLS, THEY'RE LYING.
- CAN I HAVE CARAMEL BANANA?
LOW CALORIE. YEAH.
- JUST WATER FOR NOW.
I'M GONNA TASTE HERS AND SEE WHAT I THINK.
SO WHAT'S BEEN GOING ON? HOW'S JOEY?
- JOE IS VERY SICK RIGHT NOW. - HE IS?
- YEAH, HE HAS, LIKE, 103 FEVER LAST NIGHT.
AND THEN MY MOTHER-IN-LAW HAD CALLED HIM THAT MY FATHER-IN-LAW
WAS IN THE HOSPITAL AT 3:00 IN THE MORNING.
IT'S PNEUMONIA AGAIN.
SO WE DON'T WANT TO GO NEAR THE HOSPITAL RIGHT NOW.
BECAUSE WHEN YOU'RE EVEN A LITTLE SICK,
YOU DON'T WANT TO GO NEAR HIM.
AND MY THROAT'S BEEN KILLING ME. IT, LIKE, COMES AND GOES.
- MELISSA SAYS THAT SHE'S SICK,
BUT I'M NOT BUYING WHATEVER SHE'S SELLING.
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE SWEATY AND UGLY,
ESPECIALLY AFTER WORKING OUT.
- I'M LIKE A MESS.
- CAPPUCCINO.
- I'LL HAVE COFFEE WITH CREAM.
MY DAD'S IN THE HOSPITAL.
- UGH.
- YEAH, I WAS THERE LAST NIGHT UNTIL 12:30.
HE WOKE UP A LITTLE BIT, AND HE WAS LIKE,
"YEAH, I GUESS IT WASN'T MY TIME YET."
AND I'M LIKE, "BABA--" I'M LIKE--
- YOU BETTER TELL HIM YOU NEED HIM AROUND.
- MY DAD IS IN ICU. AND CAROLINE KEEPS SAYING,
"GOD FORBID SOMETHING HAPPENS TO YOUR DAD.
"WOULDN'T YOU WANT YOUR DAD
TO SEE YOU AND YOUR BROTHER GET ALONG?"
OF COURSE.
IF MY BROTHER COMES TO GIA'S PARTY,
THAT WOULD MAKE ME SO HAPPY.
AND NOT JUST BECAUSE OF MY DAD.
LIKE, I WANT IT TO BE REAL OR NOTHING.
AFTER THIS, I'M GONNA GO TO THE HOSPITAL TO SEE HIM.
- WELL, YOU GONNA GO WORK OUT? - I WORKED OUT ALREADY.
- GOOD GIRL.
- I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO JACQUELINE. I HAVE NO IDEA.
- SHE'S ALWAYS FLAKING OUT. WHAT THE HELL?
- AH! WHERE'S YOUR WORKOUT GEAR, GIRLFRIEND?
- WHEN I WAS DRIVING HERE, I ALMOST GOT HIT BY A CAR,
I HAD NO IDEA WHERE I WAS GOING.
I STARTED HAVING, LIKE, A PANIC ATTACK.
[chuckles] AND I'M LIKE, "I CAN DO THIS. I CAN DO THIS."
[laughs] I WAS, LIKE, SUCH A BABY.
- ARE YOU SERIOUS?
- I DON'T DRIVE ON HIGHWAYS WHEN I DON'T KNOW WHERE I'M GOING.
I FREAK OUT. AND WORKING OUT IN A GYM IS NOT MY THING.
I DON'T LIKE BEING ON DISPLAY WHEN I'M SQUEEZING MY ***.
- JACQUELINE IS KIND OF ODD.
SHE'S DEVELOPING A LOT OF DISORDERS.
SHE HAS DRIVING DISORDER.
SHE HAS "I DON'T LIKE TO WORK OUT IN PUBLIC" DISORDER.
JACQUELINE!
YOU'RE A JERSEY GIRL. TOUGHEN UP.
OH, MY GOD!
- WHAT?
- [scoffs] WHATEVER.
- TERESA LIKES LINDA 'CAUSE LINDA
SPEAKS UP ON HER BEHALF A LOT.
- SO I BROUGHT LINDA WITH ME.
- HI, HOW ARE YOU?
- I JUST CAME UP WITH IT.
- I CHOOSE NOT TO BE ANYONE'S SOLDIER.
BUT I KNOW A RECRUIT WHEN I SEE ONE.
- "BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH."
[phone rings]
- IT'S LINDA. HELLO?
OH, MY GOD.
KATHY, MELISSA, AND JACQUELINE ARE AT MY GYM.
- GET OUT OF HERE.
[both laugh]
- WHAT ABOUT KATHY'S FAT ***?
HOW DID IT EVEN GET THROUGH THE DOOR?
UNBELIEVABLE.
- MY GYM HAS TO BE AT LEAST
45 MINUTES AWAY FROM JACQUELINE'S HOUSE.
IF YOU WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH ME,
WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO POSSIBLY SEE ME?
AND WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO COME TO MY GYM?
JACQUELINE DEFINITELY HAS MOTIVES.
EVERYONE DOESN'T KNOW THE REAL JACQUELINE,
WHICH IS KIND OF SCARY.
I'LL CALL YOU WHEN I'M DONE HERE.
- SOMETHING'S WEIRD. - YEAH.
YOU KNOW, MY DAD'S BEEN IN THE HOSPITAL SINCE WHEN?
SATURDAY MORNING.
YEAH, AND I ASKED MY DAD IF MELISSA WENT, AND SHE DIDN'T GO.
OF COURSE MELISSA'S AT THE GYM AND NOT AT THE HOSPITAL.
SHE'S NEVER HAD THAT LOVE AND AFFECTION FOR MY PARENTS.
BUT AROUND OTHER PEOPLE, SHE ACTS LIKE SHE CARES.
YOU KNOW, IT'S-- I DON'T KNOW,
I WANT TO SAY A BETTER WORD THAN BULL[bleep].
- TERESA, SHE CAN'T JUST GO SEE YOUR FATHER FOR FIVE MINUTES?
COME ON. I MEAN, THAT'S TERRIBLE.
- YOU BROUGHT ME FROM MY BELOVED APARTMENT TO GET THINGS?
- THERE'S A COUPLE OF THINGS I WANT TO TAKE OUT.
I WANT TO TAKE THE GOOD CHINA.
THERE'S A COUPLE LAMPS THAT ARE HEAVY.
- OH, OH.
OH, NO!
THIS IS A PIG. FRAN, IS IT A HAPPY PIG?
- NO. BE NICE AND QUIET.
- THIS HOUSE HAS CHANGED A LOT.
- FRANNIE WAS NAMED APPROPRIATELY
BECAUSE IT'S LIKE ST. FRANCIS
WHO IS THE PATRON SAINT OF ANIMALS.
AND SHE HAS COME INTO THIS HOUSE WITH BABY SQUIRRELS
IN A SHOEBOX, BUTTERFLIES, SNAKES, PIT BULLS.
BUT THE ANIMALS ONLY HAVE
A CERTAIN AMOUNT OF TIME THAT THEY COULD STAY.
THE SQUIRREL WAS IN HERE FOR JUST ABOUT AN HOUR OR TWO
'CAUSE I FEEL LIKE SQUIRRELS CAN, LIKE,
JUMP ON YOUR NECK AND KILL YOU.
WHAT'S HIS NAME?
- PEOPLE SHOULD THINK A BIT LIKE, "OH, MY GOD."
- I LITERALLY HAD CHINESE FIVE MINUTES AGO.
- MAYBE YOU'LL THINK NEXT TIME. - NO, NO.
IN FACT, I KIND OF WANT IT MORE NOW.
MY AUNT FRAN HAS ALWAYS BEEN A HUGE ANIMAL LOVER,
BUT SHE'S SLOWLY TURNING THE HOUSE INTO A PETTING ZOO.
THE FACT THAT I'M NOT SURPRISED
IS THE SCARIEST PART ABOUT ALL THIS.
- WHERE DID THE PIG COME FROM?
- I'M PIG-SITTING.
- WHERE'S IT GONNA SLEEP?
- HE HAS A NICE, LITTLE CRATE WITH BLANKETS.
- WHICH IS GOING IN THE GARAGE? - AND I'LL SLEEP WITH HIM.
- IN THE GARAGE? - IN THE GARAGE?
- YEAH.
- WELL, HOW AM I GONNA HIDE THIS FROM AL?
- JUST DON'T TELL HIM.
- MAYBE I WILL STAY IN HOBOKEN FOR A FEW NIGHTS,
AND HE WON'T EVEN SEE THE PIG.
LOOK AT ME. LISTEN.
I'M YOUR LANDLORD, YOU KNOW. BE NICE TO ME.
KNOW WHAT IT MEANS?
BACON.
- THAT'S NOT NICE.
- WE GOT TO GET SOME STUFF.
- ALL RIGHT, MOO SHU. WELCOME.
THE LAMPS ARE RIGHT THERE.
I'M JUST GONNA GRAB A COUPLE THINGS OF CHINA.
- YOU HAVE A PIG IN YOUR FRONT YARD.
- I CAN'T GET MAD AT HER.
SHE SEES THESE ANIMALS THAT NEED HELP,
AND I FEEL LIKE IT GOES BACK TO WHEN SHE NEEDED HELP.
- AT THE SAME TIME, YOU HAVE A PIG IN YOUR FRONT YARD.
COUNTLESS DOGS IN THE GUEST ROOM.
[laughs] AND I HAVEN'T BEEN IN THE BASEMENT
BECAUSE I HEARD A WEIRD HISSING.
- THERE WAS A 9-FOOT PYTHON IN THE GARAGE AT ONE POINT.
HOBOKEN IS HAPPINESS. IT'S LIKE, AHH.
THERE'S NO DOG PEE ON THE FLOOR.
BUT I LOVE MY SISTER FRAN.
SHE WORKS AS A VET TECH, GETS PAID BY THE HOUR.
SHE CAN'T AFFORD TO GO. I'M TORN, AND IT'S SAD.
- DARN, THESE ARE HEAVY.
I'M ONLY GONNA TAKE ONE AT A TIME.
- HERE WE GO, HOBOKEN.
AND DADDY DOES NOT HAVE TO KNOW THE PIG WAS EVEN HERE.
- 'CAUSE THAT WILL BE ON A ROTISSERIE NEXT WEEK.
- MOO SHU, GOD FORBID.
- LET'S GO, GIRLS.
IT'S GIA'S BIRTHDAY! YOU GUYS EXCITED?
- HI, GIRLS. HELLO.
- DO YOU WANT BANGS?
- NO. NO. NO.
- MOMMY!
- WHERE DO YOU WANT YOUR PART? - I LIKE IT IN THE MIDDLE.
- NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. - WHY?
- BECAUSE, 'AUSE, 'AUSE, 'AUSE, 'AUSE, 'AUSE.
- IT LOOKS PRETTY IN THE MIDDLE.
- NOPE. SORRY.
- WHY? IT LOOKS BETTER.
- MY DECISION! SO ZIP IT AND BE QUIET!
- NOT NICE.
- NOW, HOW MANY OF YOUR FRIENDS ARE GOING TONIGHT?
OH, WOW, AWESOME.
- GIA, HAVE YOU HEARD FROM ZIO JOE?
- YEAH.
- WHAT'D HE SAY?
IS HE COMING TONIGHT?
- HE HAS PNEUMONIA.
- ARE YOU UPSET THAT HE'S NOT COMING?
- MOM, PLEASE.
NO.
- HE IS YOUR GODFATHER. YOU KNOW THAT?
- PLEASE, MOM! STOP!
LIKE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!
- I'M GONNA GO BACK TO MY THREE-YEAR-OLD.
- GO AHEAD. - OH, DO YOU LOVE YOUR HAIR?
OH, LOOK AT HER. SHE LOVES IT!
LOOK IT. SEE, THIS IS THE AGE I LOVE.
AND THEY DON'T ANSWER ME BACK.
- YEAH. - AND THEY'RE SO GOOD.
- SHE'S THE BEST.
- I HATE WHEN SHE ASKS ME ABOUT MY UNCLE AND AUNT.
LIKE, I DON'T CARE RIGHT NOW.
LIKE, WE DON'T TALK TO THEM, SO WHAT'S THE POINT?
- I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
WHY CAN'T HE COME TO HER BIRTHDAY PARTY?
I MEAN, I'M SURE HE FEELS BETTER.
I FEEL LIKE HE WANTED TO AVOID SEEING ME AND MY HUSBAND.
YOU KNOW, HE JUST DIDN'T WANT TO COME.
- ALL RIGHT. - SHE GOT THIS FOR HER BIRTHDAY.
- OH, FROM WHO?
- HER FRIEND. HER BFFL. - HER BFFL?
- MOM, WILL YOU STOP? - YEAH. [laughs]
DO YOU KNOW WHAT A BFFL IS?
- IT'S A BEST FRIEND!
HOLY MOLY!
- IS CHRISTOPHER GIA'S BFF OR HER BOYFRIEND?
- MA, CAN YOU, LIKE, STOP IT?
LIKE, I'M NOT KIDDING.
- COME ON, GINO, LET ME FIX YOUR HAIR AND THEN YOU'LL BE DONE.
- DON'T SAY THAT.
YOU WANT ME TO PUT A HOT PEPPER IN YOUR MOUTH?
- YOU BETTER BE A GOOD BOY AT THE PARTY. OKAY?
YOU STAY BY MOMMY.
AND I WANT TO KNOW WHERE YOU ARE THE WHOLE TIME. OKAY?
OH! - [laughs]
- YOU GUYS CAN GO DOWNSTAIRS WHILE I FINISH GETTING DRESSED.
OKAY?
- OH, MY GOD! - HOW DO YOU FEEL?
UGH.
- YOU LOOK GOOD. - THANK YOU.
I WISH YOU WOULD COME WITH ME.
- NAH, I CAN'T DO IT.
- I MEAN, BESIDES THE FACT THAT YOU HAVE 103 FEVER,
I DON'T REALLY THINK YOU WANTED TO GO ANYWAY.
- I'M TELLING YOU NOW, DON'T TAKE NO [bleep] TONIGHT.
IF THAT KIM D. IS THERE OR ANYTHING,
YOU SPIT RIGHT IN HER FACE.
- KIM D. DOESN'T HAVE KIDS. WHY WOULD SHE BE THERE ANYWAY?
- SHE'S HER SIDEKICK. SHE'LL BE THERE.
IF SOMEBODY GIVES YOU SOME LIP, YOU GIVE HER LIP BACK.
- I'M NOT GIVING ANYBODY LIP AT A BIRTHDAY PARTY.
I NEVER KNOW WHAT'S GONNA COME AT ME.
I DON'T KNOW IF I'M GONNA GET A WARM, BUBBLY,
NICE SISTER-IN-LAW OR IF I'M GONNA GET HER ARMY.
IT'S LIKE, "BACK OFF ME, ***." DAMN!
- SHE'LL BE THERE. IT'S LIKE MOE AND LARRY.
JUST MISSING CURLY.
- COMING UP NEXT...
- MY DAD SAID, "MELISSA DIDN'T EVEN CALL ME
TO SEE HOW I WAS DOING."
- I WENT WITH ANTONIA. - NO, YOU DIDN'T.
WHY IS SHE LYING? MAYBE HER GHOST WAS THERE.
- OH, MY GOD. MILANIA, YOU LOOK DIVA-LICIOUS.
- YOU'RE GETTING MY NAILS DONE, MOMMY!
- SIT. LET ME FINISH.
- LET HER FINISH. LET HER FINISH.
- SHE'S GIVING ME ANXIETY JUST SITTING IN THE CHAIR.
- OH, MY GOD! WEIRDO!
- [squeals] - ALL RIGHT, SMILE PRETTY.
THAT'S NOT A PRETTY FACE.
- MILANIA.
- WE CAN'T JUST TAKE A PICTURE OF YOU?
- HURRY UP! COME ON!
- BOTH YOU. MILANIA, COME ON.
- NO! BYE!
- NO, NO, NO! WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!
- HEY, YOU. I GOT TO TALK TO YOU.
- MY MOM IS INTRODUCING HERSELF TO EVERYBODY. OH, LORD!
- [laughs]
- WHERE'S GIA? - SHE'S RIGHT THERE.
- OH. HI, GIA. IS THIS YOUR BFFL?
I LOVE HIM.
ALL RIGHT. I'M JUST SAYING HI.
- HEY, CHRIS, YOU GOT A CRUSH ON MY DAUGHTER?
YOU DO? NO, NO, NO, NO. WAIT, WAIT. CHRIS.
- ALL RIGHT. WHAT? YOU DON'T WANT ME TO GET IN?
GIA'S AN AMAZING DAUGHTER.
AND I WANT TO BE HER BFFL. BEST FRIENDS FOR LIFE.
- MOMMY, WHERE'S ANTONIA?
- I'M SURE SHE'S COMING. - COME ON!
- IT'S KIND OF, LIKE, SO FUNNY
THAT WE'RE NOT, LIKE, DRIVING THERE WITH THEM, RIGHT?
- YEAH, IT IS, BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?
JUST BECAUSE IT'S NOT THE RIGHT TIME FOR US TO GO,
IT DOESN'T STOP THEM FROM GOING.
VICTORIA AND JOSEPH ARE HEADED OUT
TO SEE MY UNCLE AT THE HOSPITAL.
YOU KNOW, EARLIER I WAS A LITTLE UPSET WITH JOSEPH
THAT HE TOOK THE CAR OUT, BUT NOW IS NOT THE TIME.
MY UNCLE IS MORE IMPORTANT.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO, YOU KNOW.
THE LAST TIME I WENT-- I SAW HIM WAS THAT TIME I WENT
TO VISIT HIM AFTER TERESA AND I HAD THAT ARGUMENT.
I WENT TO SPEAK TO YOUR DAD AND YOUR MOM.
- OH, MY GOD!
- AND YOUR DAD WALKED OUT! HE'S A COWARD!
I WANTED TO TRY AND CLEAR THE AIR A LITTLE BIT.
AND HE DIDN'T WANT TO HEAR IT.
IN THE PAST, I ALWAYS WENT TO GO SEE MY UNCLE
WHEN HE WAS IN THE HOSPITAL.
BUT RIGHT NOW I FEEL LIKE
THE WHOLE COWARD COMMENT-- IT WAS OUT OF LINE.
I'VE APOLOGIZED FOR IT. WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES.
I KNOW WHAT'S IN MY HEART.
AND DEEP DOWN HE KNOWS WHAT'S IN MY HEART.
- WELL, KATH, I TELL YOU JUST GO VISIT HIM.
FIVE MINUTES. BOOM.
YOU SAY, "I JUST WANTED TO MAKE SURE THAT YOU WERE FINE,
AND TELL YOU I WAS THINKING ABOUT YOU. I LOVE YOU."
WOULD YOU RATHER SEE SOMEONE WHILE THEY'RE ALIVE?
BECAUSE, GOD FORBID, SOMETHING EVER HAPPENS TO YOUR UNCLE,
YOU KNOW, WE'RE GONNA GO TO THE FRICKIN' WAKE AND THINK--
- STOP. YOU'RE--JUST STOP. JUST STOP.
- YOU'RE VERY ANGRY THESE DAYS.
- I JUST DON'T WANT TO HEAR THAT, RICHARD.
- FOR KATHY, IT'S MUCH EASIER
TO BE PLEASANT AND POLITE.
SHE'S MUCH TOO PASSIVE RIGHT NOW.
BUT IF I WAS IN HER SHOES,
I WOULD GO VISIT HIM AT THE HOSPITAL.
AND TELL TERESA, "[bleep] YOU. ME AND YOUR FATHER, WE'RE FINE.
NOW WHAT DO YOU GOT TO HANG ON?"
I DON'T THINK IT'S A BAD IDEA.
- I'LL SEE.
- ♪ PARTY IN THE CLUB UNTIL THE SUN COMES UP ♪
[phone rings]
- HI. WHAT ARE YOU DOING? - OH, NOTHING.
- ♪ THE DJ'S ON FIRE AND HE'S PLAYING MY SONG ♪
- OH, SORRY. LET ME TURN THIS VOLUME DOWN.
[song stops]
YEAH, THAT'S MY NAVI. [chuckles]
I'M GOING TO GIA'S BIRTHDAY PARTY.
- I DON'T REALLY KNOW THAT I'M REALLY FRIENDLY
WITH ANYONE WHO'S GONNA BE THERE, YOU KNOW.
YEAH, OF COURSE.
IT WAS AWKWARD AT THE PLAY DATE,
SO WHY WOULDN'T THIS BE AWKWARD, YOU KNOW?
- TERESA'S DAUGHTER'S BIRTHDAY PARTY.
SERIOUSLY?
THAT IS, LIKE, THE LAST THING
THAT I WOULD WANT TO GO TO. NO WAY.
- THANK YOU. I'LL TALK TO YOU LATER. ENJOY YOUR NIGHT.
OKAY, BYE.
- GIA, WE'RE GONNA GO IN THE ADULT ROOM.
- ALL RIGHT.
- WE'RE GONNA GIVE YOU GUYS SOME FREE TIME.
- ALL RIGHT. - ALL RIGHT?
- ALL RIGHT, BYE.
- AH, SO NICE. HI.
- HOW ARE YOU? - I'M SO GOOD.
- WAIT, ANTONIA, COME HERE, BABY.
- GUESS WHO.
- [screams]
- WHERE'S GIA?
OH, THERE SHE IS.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY. - THANK YOU.
- JOEY, SAY, "HI, GIA." - I WANT A BIG HUG.
- SAY, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY."
HE'S, LIKE, FRIENDLY.
GIVE GIA KISSES. GIVE HER KISSES.
- HI, KIM. - HOW ARE YOU?
YOU LOOK GORGE FROM HEAD TO TOE.
- THANK YOU. - POSH. THE WAY I LIKE IT, BABY.
- THANK YOU. [laughs] - BEAUTIFUL. BEAUTIFUL.
HOW'S YOUR DAD?
- I THINK MY DAD'S GETTING OUT TOMORROW.
- FANTASTIC. - YES.
- THAT'S GREAT.
- HAS MELISSA GONE TO SEE HIM SINCE?
- WOW.
- IT UPSET ME BECAUSE AS A DAUGHTER-IN-LAW,
SHE SHOULD HAVE BEEN THERE THE NEXT DAY.
AND HE WAS IN ICU TO TOP IT ALL OFF.
I MEAN, MAYBE MELISSA DOESN'T KNOW WHAT THAT STANDS FOR.
INTENSIVE CARE UNIT.
- SHE DOESN'T GO ALL WEEK.
SHE PROBABLY HEARD THAT HE'S BEEN ASKING ABOUT HER.
NOW SHE GOES IN.
- EXCUSE ME. THANKS.
OKAY. OKAY, NO.
- HI, MELISSA. HOW ARE YOU?
- HI. OH, HI. HOW ARE YOU?
- THINGS ARE GOOD. - GOOD. GOOD TO SEE YOU.
- YEAH, YEAH.
- I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA NEED A DRINK,
EVEN IF IT'S FABULICIOUS, FABULINI, FABULOUS.
- ARE YOU HERE ALONE OR IS JOE WITH YOU?
- JOE GOT RUSHED TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM TWO NIGHTS AGO.
HE HAD A 104 FEVER. - OH, MY--
- HIS WHOLE BODY-- HE TURNED WHITE.
- WAS IT IN THE SAME HOSPITAL THAT HIS FATHER WAS IN?
- YES.
- DID YOU GET TO SEE YOUR FATHER-IN-LAW?
DID YOU GET TO SEE HIM THIS WEEK WHEN HE WAS IN THERE?
- YEAH. YEAH. - YOU DID?
- YEAH, I WENT TO GO VISIT HIM. YEP, I DID.
- TERESA AND I HAD BREAKFAST THE OTHER DAY
WHEN YOU GUYS WERE AT THE GYM.
I HEARD THAT YOU WENT TO THE GYM.
- OH, OKAY. - YOU KNOW, PEOPLE WERE, LIKE,
SAYING, "WELL, WHY ARE THEY AT THE GYM WHEN HE'S--"
- PEOPLE TALK ABOUT WHEN I GO TO THE GYM?
THIS IS MY GYM THAT I GO TO.
THERE'S NO HIDDEN AGENDA HERE, OTHER THAN I GO TO A CLASS
THAT I THOUGHT WOULD BE GOOD
FOR JACQUELINE AND KATHY TO TRY.
SO WHOEVER DOESN'T LIKE IT CAN GO SCRATCH.
I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.
- LISTEN TO ME. IT'S NO BIG DEAL.
YOU WENT TO SEE YOUR FATHER-IN-LAW AT THE HOSPITAL?
- YEAH, OF COURSE. I WENT THE DAY AFTER HE WENT IN.
- PEOPLE WERE SAYING THAT YOU'RE AT THE GYM.
YOU AND JACQUELINE, YOU WERE THERE, AND KATHY.
AND I'M NOT ACCUSING YOU OF ANYTHING.
IT WAS JUST WEIRD THAT YOU GUYS WERE THERE
AT THE SAME TIME TERESA USUALLY GOES.
AND I'M JUST SAYING DEFEND YOURSELF. YOU'RE THERE--
- ARE YOU DRUNK, GIRLFRIEND?
- NO, NO, NO. NOT YET. NOT YET.
- WHAT THE HECK? - NOT YET.
- I DON'T WANT TO HEAR
THAT I DON'T VISIT MY FATHER-IN-LAW IN THE HOSPITAL.
FIRST OF ALL, IT'S NOBODY'S BUSINESS,
NOT EVEN TERESA'S BUSINESS WHAT I DO WITH MY FATHER-IN-LAW.
IT'S BETWEEN ME AND MY HUSBAND.
WHEN I WANT TO VISIT HIM, HOW I WANT TO VISIT HIM,
WHAT TIME I WANT TO VISIT HIM.
IT'S DISGUSTING THAT PEOPLE WOULD EVEN SAY THAT.
I MEAN, THAT'S JUST CRAZY. LISTEN, I DON'T HAVE A DAD.
HE'S MY DAD NOW.
- I KNOW. - DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT? SO...
- I KNOW. - OF COURSE I'M VISITING HIM.
- I OVERHEAR MELISSA TELLING KIM
THAT SHE WENT TO THE HOSPITAL THE NEXT DAY.
WHY IS SHE LYING?
HOW DID YOU GO THE NEXT DAY WHEN MY MOTHER AND I WERE THERE?
MAYBE WE MISSED YOU.
MAYBE WE SAW YOUR-- MAYBE YOUR GHOST WAS THERE.
SO I HEARD YOU WENT TO GO SEE MY DAD AT THE HOSPITAL.
- MM-HMM. HE LOOKS GOOD. HE WAS SITTING UP.
- YOU WENT FOUR DAYS AFTER HE WAS IN THE HOSPITAL?
- NO, I WENT THE DAY AFTER HE WENT IN.
- NO. - YES, I DID.
JOEY BROUGHT HIM THERE ON MONDAY NIGHT, AND I WENT TUESDAY NIGHT.
- NO, YOU DIDN'T.
- WHAT DAY DID HE GO IN?
- SATURDAY NIGHT AT 4:00 IN THE MORNING.
- NO, IT WAS NOT SATURDAY NIGHT. NO, IT WASN'T.
WHAT DAY DID I GO? HOLD ON.
I HAVE TO FIGURE OUT WHAT NIGHT EVERYTHING WAS BECAUSE I WILL.
IT WASN'T SATURDAY 'CAUSE JOEY WENT TO THE HOSPITAL--YES.
- MELISSA, IT'S MY DAD. - YES, YOU ARE RIGHT.
- MY DAD SAID, "MELISSA DIDN'T EVEN CALL ME
TO SEE HOW I WAS DOING."
- WHY WOULD HE SAY THAT?
I SPENT THE WHOLE DAY AT THE-- I WENT WITH ANTONIA.
- OKAY. ALL RIGHT. THAT'S GOOD.
- WHY ARE YOU INTERRO--
I DIDN'T GO FOUR DAYS LATER. THAT'S WHAT I'M TELLING YOU.
- ALL RIGHT. YOU'RE RIGHT, MELISSA.
- AND IF I DID, IT'S BECAUSE I HAVE THREE KIDS.
WHO CARES WHEN I WENT? OF COURSE I WENT TO SEE HIM.
- I DON'T KNOW WHY SHE WOULD EVEN LIE
THAT SHE WENT TO GO SEE MY DAD.
I THINK SHE'S JUST TRYING TO PROTECT HER IMAGE.
IF SHE WAS LYING ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE,
I WOULDN'T EVEN MAKE A BIG DEAL ABOUT IT.
BUT BECAUSE IT HAS TO DO WITH MY DAD, THAT'S A BIG DEAL TO ME.
- WHY ARE YOU LYING?
- YOU CALLED A NURSE? I'M LYING?
- YEAH, BUT I DON'T NEED TO CALL HIM.
- I WAS THERE EVERY SINGLE DAY. I'M LYING?
- HOW ABOUT YOU AND ME GO TO THE HOSPITAL TOGETHER,
AND WE'LL SEE IF MY DAD'S LYING?
- FIRST OF ALL, IT WASN'T FOUR DAYS.
MY HUSBAND TOOK HIS FATHER TO THE HOSPITAL
AT 3:00 IN THE MORNING ON SUNDAY.
MONDAY AND TUESDAY, I HAD A REALLY BAD SORE THROAT.
ON WEDNESDAY, I TOOK MY DAUGHTER TO THE HOSPITAL
TO SEE MY FATHER-IN-LAW WHEN MY THROAT FELT BETTER.
THAT'S NOT FOUR DAYS IN MY BOOK.
- MY FATHER SAID TO ME-- MY FATHER--
- HONEY, I CALLED HEALTH INSURANCE--
- DON'T CALL ME HONEY, 'CAUSE WE'RE NOT ON THAT HONEY TERM.
- OH, I DIDN'T KNOW. - OKAY?
- YOU'RE NICE ONE SECOND AND YOU'RE LIKE THIS THE NEXT.
MAKE UP YOUR MIND.
- WELL--MAKE UP MY MIND?
WHEN IT COMES TO MY PARENTS,
THEY LOVE YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING.
GIVE THEM THE RESPECT...
- I LOVE THEM TOO. - BACK.
- LET ME JUST, LIKE, GET MY KIDS.
AND THANK YOU FOR HAVING US. WE'RE GONNA GO.
- YOU'RE NOT GONNA STAY FOR CAKE?
- WELL, NO, I THINK I'M GONNA TAKE THE KIDS AND GO.
- WHY DON'T YOU STAY FOR CAKE?
- I DON'T WANT MY DAUGHTER TO SEE THIS.
THIS IS GROSS AT A BIRTHDAY PARTY.
- UM, WE'RE IN ADULT ROOM.
NO DRAMA AT GIA'S PARTY. PLEASE.
SMILE. OKAY.
I LOVE YOU. GO BACK.
AND HEY, GO HAVE A GOOD TIME WITH YOUR FRIENDS.
- LOOK AT ME. NOBODY WAS ARGUING.
DON'T BE SAD. - LOVE YOU.
LET'S GO HAVE CAKE, GUYS.
COME ON, HONEY.
- COMING UP NEXT...
- NOT TONIGHT.
WE GOT TO GO HOME, OKAY?
- CLAP YOUR HANDS, CLAP YOUR HANDS.
ALL RIGHT, BLOW OUT THOSE CANDLES.
- OKAY, GUYS. LET'S GO.
NOT TONIGHT. WE GOT TO GO HOME. OKAY?
- WHAT HAPPENED? ANYTHING HAPPEN?
- I WAS JUST SEEING WHY IT TOOK FOUR DAYS
FOR HER TO GO SEE MY DAD.
BUT SHE IS LYING TO ME.
- SHE'S GOOD AT THAT. - I'M GLAD SHE CAME.
I'M GLAD THE KIDS GOT TO SEE EACH OTHER.
AND THAT'S IT, YOU KNOW. - YEAH.
- IT WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE FOR MY BROTHER TO COME.
BUT WHATEVER.
THERE'S NO NEED TO RUN HOME TO MY BROTHER
AND MAKE IT A BIGGER THING THAN IT IS.
- LET'S GO. THIS WAY, KIDS. RIGHT HERE.
DO--
COME ON. YOU SAID GOOD-BYE. WE SAID GOOD-BYE FIVE TIMES.
- I ASKED HER A QUESTION.
AND IF I CAN'T EVEN ASK HER A QUESTION,
WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO? [chuckles]
SMILE.
- YES, IT'S RAINING. OKAY, THERE'S MY CAR.
THIS WAY, GINO. RIGHT OVER THERE.
- OH, MY GOD! - WE GOT THEM!
- OH, MY GOD! THAT'S WHAT YOU GUYS DO?
- I MAKE SURE I DO THE RIGHT THING.
SHE DOESN'T NEED TO WATCH ME. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?
THIS IS ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE THINGS
WHERE I GET PUT IN THE MIDDLE BETWEEN HER AND HER BROTHER.
LIKE, DISCUSS THIS WITH YOUR BROTHER.
TAKE ME OUT OF THIS CONVERSATION.
HONESTLY, THE QUICKER SHE TAKES HER EYES AND PUTS THEM
THE OTHER WAY, THE QUICKER SHE'LL HAVE HER BROTHER.
THE OTHER WAY, THE QUICKER SHE'LL HAVE HER BROTHER.
- ON THE NEXT REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY...
- YOU GOT TO WORK IT INTO THAT MEAT.
- WILL THIS BE THE FIRST TIME YOU EVER HAD MAMA'S BALLS?
- THERE'S NO DENYING THAT MY MOTHER'S GOT A PAIR OF BALLS
THAT NOBODY COULD REALLY [bleep] WITH.
- IN A NUTSHELL, THE BASIC PREMISE OF THE BOOK IS...
- IT'S THE BIBLE FOR MARRIAGE.
THIS IS NOT LIKE WRITING A COOKBOOK.
I'M WRITING AN ACTUAL ADVICE BOOK.
- YOUR DAD WAS A BIG PART IN YOUR LIFE.
YOU SHOULD WRITE ABOUT HIM.
- I DON'T KNOW THAT I WANT TO SAY,
"MY FATHER WAS A MAN THAT CHEATS."
IT WAS REALLY HARD AS A LITTLE GIRL
UNDERSTANDING WHERE DADDY WAS GOING,
AND WHY HE WENT OUT FOR MILK
AND DIDN'T COME HOME FOR A COUPLE DAYS.
- I WAS CONSIDERED NOT A LOYAL FRIEND IF I DIDN'T DO
OR SAY THE THINGS THAT SHE WANTED ME TO DO TO HER FAMILY.
- GET OVER IT.
- RIGHT NOW SHE IS INCAPABLE
OF HAVING A RELATIONSHIP WITH EITHER OF YOU.
- SHE DOESN'T WANT TO HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU AND HIM!
HERE, TAKE IT UP THE ***, TERESA!
SHOW HER SOME RESPECT 'CAUSE SHE DESERVES IT.
- I DON'T CALL MY WIFE A [bleep]. YOU UNDERSTAND?
- I'M DONE WITH YOU. - THAT'S RIGHT.
THANK YOU.
- TO LEARN MORE ABOUT THE REAL HOUSEWIVES,