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***! Oh my god I feel like I'm having an abortion!
Why would God do this to me?
Squirtle!
How the *** did this happen?!
I think somebody may have put laxatives in our pre pep rally energy drinks.
Really, Trisha?! Really?! You think?!
Well, I mean that's just my best guess...I couldn't say for certain without doing a-
*** you Shay Van Buren!
You know, Shay, you really-
You really shouldn't use more than a single dose of x-lax in each cup.
Mikayla, I'm six feet tall and I weigh 105 pounds. I think I know how to mix x-lax into
a *** drink, ok?
No! But if you put too much, then it won't mix with the liquid and it'll just sit on
top like *** on root beer.
Are you sure you're not a gremlin?
I was born in 2003. I have no idea what that is.
Hmm... Sounds like something a gremlin would say.
Oh my God, Deandra! They got you too!
Who got me? The three tostadas that I had for lunch? Yes, they got me. They got me bad.
It did not help that they were made with cole slaw instead of lettuce.
What the *** are you talking about?
What the *** are you talking about?
Apparently, the Van Buren family poisoned our pre pep rally Pineapple juice.
Oh yeah, I already knew about that.
What?
I mean, I already did not knew about that.
If I didn't have Splash Mountain coming out of my *** I swear I'd rip your *** head
off.
Get out! Get out of me! Oh Shay Van Buren! We are going to get you! We are going to get
you so good!
Yeah! Dumb ***!
Oh Mackenzie Zales! We are going to get you! We are going to get you so good!
Yeah! Dumb ***!
Moooommmm!!!
What is it Mikayla?
Shay is putting too much x-lax in the cheer leaders pre pep rally energy drinks.
Shay! Give me that.
You see girls, anything more than a tablespoon and the x-lax is just gonna sit on top like,
well, um, *** on root beer.
See? I told you!
Shut up, lice head!
Mommy, what did you used to drink when you were a cheerleader?
Squeez-its and Zima, why?
Can we take these now?
Yes, but make sure when they drink them, they drink them through straws, while standing,
outdoors, no more than two hours from now, girls. If you wait any longer, you will kill
them.
Ok. C'mon Deandra.
Can I come?
We're going to the high school, not *** Build-a-Bear.
Shay!
Goddamit fine.
Mommy needs a nap.
By a nap, do you mean an Ambien and a box of wine?
What?
Byeee!
Byeee!
Byeee!
Shay Van Buren thought it would be funny to put x-lax in my pre pep rally energy drink.
Because of that I missed the biggest pep rally of the entire year. The pep rally I was going
to announce I was running for prom queen.
But, but, what about Brittnay and I?
Yeah, what the ***?!
Yeah, Mackenzie, you already won Homecoming Queen.
I also won Candy Cane Princess at the winter social. But that doesn't *** matter. I
want prom. And to get it we need to *** Shay Van Buren's life. *** it right in the ***.
No lube!
***!
With a big black ***!
The biggest!
Oh, we should totally *** up their credit too. And then we all unfriend them on Facebook.
Oh, if they think that they have a good plan, just wait until they see the plan we have
cooked up for prom!
Yes, our plan will make their plan look like... like... like... like... like... our plan is
so good!
So good!
Uh...carry on.