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today in nineteen eighty-five playboy announced the end of the stapling of
the centerfolds thus permanently ending massive confusion every time a boy saw
real girl naked for the first time
yes i knew a guy
named john dougherty from west virginia
and he told me
about having SEX with his wife for the first time on their wedding night in
nineteen
sixty four
he was informal that way
he said and i quote
every naked woman i had seen before that had had staples right in
the middle of their torso. when my bride maggie took off her shirt I said in the heck
are those little metal bangs
she cried for 3 days
and ran off after that
we never did get to do it
luckily he got married again four years later
this time he said he didn't mention his disappointment when his new bride had no
metal things, he just
closed his eyes and pictured them there
why would i make that up?
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