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[ MEOWS ]
Narrator: THEY ARE THE INTERNET PHENOMENON
THAT DOMINATES CYBERSPACE, THOSE DIABOLICAL PIXELS
THAT MAKE THE MOST MACHO VIDEOPHILE
CRUMBLE INTO A QUIVERING PILE OF "AWW."
THAT'S RIGHT.
WE'RE TALKING ABOUT CAT VIDEOS.
YOU KNOW, THE ONES THAT GO VIRAL
AND LEAVE YOUR FINGER BOUNCING OFF THE FORWARD BUTTON.
IT'S THE CAT THAT STEALS THE MAIL...
THE MOUSER THAT CAN BUST A MOVE...
OR THE TABBY THAT SOOTHES A FEVERED BROW.
THESE ARE THE CLIPS THAT KEEP THE WORLD BEGGING FOR MORE
BECAUSE ON THE INTERNET, CATS ARE KING.
SIT BACK AND GET READY FOR THE BIGGEST EVENT
IN THE KITTY UNIVERSE,
AS WE COUNT DOWN THE MOST TREMENDOUS TABBIES
ON THE WEBOSPHERE AND WE CROWN AMERICA'S CUTEST CAT.
TODAY IT'S AN ALL-OUT CUTE-A-PALOOZA.
OUR FIRST CATEGORY CELEBRATES THE CATS
THAT PUT OLYMPIC GYMNASTS TO SHAME.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
IF HUMANS COULD DO WHAT THESE COMPETENT KITTIES COULD,
WE'D BE SUPERHEROES.
CATS ARE AGILE BY NATURE
'CAUSE IT'S A PART OF THEIR HUNTER SELF.
[ MEOWING ]
[ BOING! BOING! BOING! ]
AND IN ORDER TO BE A GOOD HUNTER,
AGILITY'S A BIG THING.
[ HORN HONKS ]
THEY'RE JUST AMAZING ATHLETES AND ACTUALLY CONTORTIONISTS.
THEIR BONES ARE CONNECTED IN A VERY LIMBER WAY
SO THAT THEY CAN FLIP AND TWIST AND TURN.
WHOA!
ALL THE THINGS THEY DO SEEM TO BE AMUSING,
SO THEY MAKE FOR VERY GOOD ENTERTAINMENT.
Narrator: FIRST UP ON OUR CAT-BE-NIMBLE COUNTDOWN
IS A PUSSYCAT WHO WANTS A LITTLE PRIVACY.
[ MEOWS ]
"EXCUSE ME. I'M IN MY KITTY BOX.
CAN YOU LEAVE ME ALONE?"
[ MEOWS ]
"OKAY, UM, GET THAT CAMERA OUT OF MY FACE.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
I DO NOT WANT TO BE ON FILM RIGHT NOW."
[ MEOWS ]
HE'S NOT READY FOR HIS CLOSE-UP.
HE WANTS TO BE BEHIND THE CURTAIN.
"COME ON, STOP LOOKING."
"STAY AWAY.
STAY AWAY, I TOLD YOU."
THIS IS ONE CAMERA-SHY CAT.
Narrator: AT NUMBER FOUR, A KITTY THAT GETS DOWN.
HE'LL DANCE WITH ANY STAR.
[ HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYS ]
Hilton: HE'S JUMPING AN IMAGINARY ROPE,
OR HE'S JUST GETTING A WORKOUT IN.
HEY, ZUMBA.
♪ THE CAT IS ZUMBA, ZUMBA ♪
♪ DA DA DA ♪
I'D FOLLOW THAT CAT.
THAT'S INCREDIBLE, ACTUALLY.
NORMALLY, CATS, WHEN THEY'RE ON TWO LEGS,
ARE SCARY, BUT WHEN THEY'RE DANCING ON TWO LEGS,
IT'S TOTALLY OKAY.
YEAH, YOU SEE PLENTY OF CATS DOING LIKE THIS WITH THEIR PAWS,
BUT THE JUMPING -- THAT'S NEW.
LOOKS LIKE IT'S GOT A LITTLE HIP-HOP BEAT TO IT.
HE'S TRYING TO RAISE THE CLUB TO GET LOUDER.
HE NEEDS, LIKE, BACKUP DANCERS TO GO WITH HIM.
[ LAUGHS ]
THAT IS CAT VOGUING.
I'D LIKE TO SEE HIS INTERPRETIVE DANCE TO SOME CLASSICAL MUSIC.
[ GROWLS ]
Narrator: RUNNING STRONG IN THE NUMBER-THREE POSITION
IS A CAT TRYING TO SQUEEZE IN A WORKOUT.
HEALTHY KITTY.
THAT'S WHAT I NEED.
I NEED A CAT JUST LIKE THIS
THAT WANTS TO GO TO THE GYM AND DO SOME EXERCISE.
[ MEOWS ]
WE LIKE TREADMILLS TO EXERCISE ANIMALS,
WHETHER IT'S CATS OR DOGS,
BUT SOMETIMES IT'S VERY DIFFICULT
TO GET THEM ONTO THE TREADMILL.
THIS CAT SEEMS TO REALLY ENJOY IT.
WHOA!
OH, GET BACK ON.
[ BOING! ]
GO!
[ MEOWS ]
LOOK AT HIM GO.
GO, GO, GO, GO, GO, GO, GO.
SEE, THIS WOULD MAKE WORKING OUT MUCH MORE FUN.
I BET HE CAN DO MORE LAPS THAN ANYBODY ELSE IN THE WHOLE HOUSE.
[ MEOWS ]
Narrator: SCRATCHING HIS WAY INTO THE NUMBER-TWO SPOT,
A KITTEN WITH SOME MASH-UP AND REMIX SKILLS.
WORD.
[ MEOWS ]
THIS IS A DEEJAY'S CAT.
[ NEEDLE SCRATCHES ]
OH, HE'S SCRATCHING.
LIKE, LITERALLY SCRATCHING THE RECORD.
'CAUSE HE'S A CAT.
[ NEEDLE SCRATCHES ]
HE'S PLAYING "CAT SCRATCH FEVER."
CHECK HIM OUT.
[ NEEDLE SCRATCHES ]
[ CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS ]
THAT CAT HAS GOT SKILL!
[ NEEDLE SCRATCHES ]
[ HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYS ]
[ NEEDLE SCRATCHING ]
COMING UP, A REMIX BY DEEJAY KITTY.
[ UP-TEMPO TECHNO MUSIC PLAYS ]
NO, YOU'RE NOT. DON'T DO IT.
[ CIRCUS MUSIC PLAYS ]
I COULD WATCH THAT ALL DAY LONG.
[ MEOWS ]
Narrator: CLINGING TO THE NUMBER-ONE POSITION,
PIGGY, YOUR FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD SPIDER CAT.
ARE YOU SERIOUS?
THE CAT IS WALKING DOWN THE FRIDGE.
THIS CAT IS LIKE SPIDER-MAN.
UPSIDE DOWN, BACK AGAINST THE WALL.
LIKE, HOW DOES THAT CAT LEARN TO DO THAT?
LIKE, THIS IS WHERE CATS ARE SO MUCH SMARTER THAN US.
HE THINKS HE'S A LITTLE COVERT NINJA HERE.
THAT TOOK SKILL AND BOREDOM.
Narrator: CONGRATULATIONS, PIGGY.
YOU'RE THE MOST AGILE FELINE OF THE BUNCH.
[ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS ]
THIS CATEGORY CELEBRATES THE FELINE TOMFOOLERY
THAT HAS KITTY LOVERS AROUND THE GLOBE GLUED TO THE WEB.
ARE YOU "KITTEN" ME?
PEOPLE LOVE SURPRISES, AND CAT'S GIVE THEM THAT.
Narrator: AND THESE FOOLISH FELINES ARE NO EXCEPTION.
I THINK CATS ARE REALLY LIKE KIDS...
[ MEOWS ]
...IN THE SENSE THAT THERE'S LOTS OF THINGS THEY DO
THAT WE FIND VERY COMICAL.
Heather: CATS TRY AND BE ENTERTAINING.
I THINK WHEN THEY'RE DOING FUNNY THINGS, I THINK THEY KNOW IT.
[ MEOWS ]
SOMETIMES IT LOOKS LIKE A CAT IS DOING SOMETHING TO BE HUMOROUS,
BUT, IN FACT, WHAT THEY'RE DOING
IS, THEY'RE REALLY FEEDING OFF US, AND THEY'RE PLAYING.
Narrator: ENOUGH CLOWNING AROUND.
LET'S COUNT DOWN ALL OF THIS
FELINE FUNNY BUSINESS CAUGHT ON TAPE.
WE BEGIN WITH A JUMPY KITTY.
[ GROWLS ]
THAT CAT HAS THE HICCUPS.
Narrator: MAYBE IT'S JUST HIS OWNER PLAYING TRICKS ON HIM
BY MOVING THE RUG.
HE THINKS HE'S A FROG OR SOMETHING.
[ RIBBIT! ]
[ LAUGHS ] I LOVE THAT.
WATCH. THERE HE GOES. HE'S GONNA JUMP ANY SECOND.
[ BOING! BOING! BOING! BOING! BOING!]
JUST FEELS ODD, AND THEY JUMP UP IN THE AIR.
IT'S ONE OF THEIR ALARM REACTIONS.
AWW, THAT IS SO CUTE.
I LOVE THAT CAT.
Narrator: IN THE NUMBER-FOUR SPOT IS PRESHA.
SHE HAS A FASHION-FORWARD MOMMY,
BUT PRESHA'S NOT BUYING HER NEW COAT.
Woman: [ LAUGHING ]
NO.
YOU DON'T PUT CLOTHES ON CATS.
[ LAUGHS ]
"I AM NOT WALKING IN PUBLIC LIKE THIS, PEOPLE."
"RED IS NOT MY COLOR.
"THIS MAKES ME LOOK FAT.
DON'T BE SO CRUEL."
"TAKE THIS THING OFF OF ME NOW."
HE'S NOT SURE HOW TO WALK IN THIS THING,
SO HE'S GONNA FREEZE.
Dr. Dodman: WHEN YOU PUT ANYTHING LIKE THIS ON A CAT --
WHETHER IT'S A HARNESS OR SOME SUCH --
THEY WILL OFTEN FREEZE OR ROLL AROUND,
SO THIS IS A VERY WEIRD FEELING FOR THE CAT.
HE'S LIKE, "FORGET THIS. I'M NOT WEARING A COAT NO MORE."
[ MEOWS ]
Narrator: GETTING PAMPERED IN THE NUMBER-THREE POSITION
IS BOBO, A FELINE WHO CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF THE VACUUM CLEANER.
[ PURRING ]
THAT'S ONE WAY OF KEEPING THE FUR OFF YOUR COUCH.
"OH, EXCUSE ME. OVER HERE, TO THE LEFT.
NO, A LITTLE UPPER."
"LET ME ROLL TO THE LEFT.
"LET ME ROLL TO THE RIGHT.
LET ME CLEAN MY NAILS."
"THERE YOU GO, RIGHT ON THE FEET.
THAT FEELS GOOD."
MOST CATS DON'T LIKE VACUUM CLEANERS.
THIS GUY -- HE LOVES THEM!
Dr. Dodman: SEEMS PRETTY EXCITED.
AS A MATTER OF FACT, THE PUPILS ARE HALFWAY UP.
I THINK IT'S JUST A HECK OF AN EXCITING TIME.
Narrator: BOBO IS IN KITTY HEAVEN, BUT IS IT SAFE?
THIS SEEMS PERFECTLY SAFE TO ME.
MAYBE THIS IS MORE OF THE INDUSTRIAL STRENGTH,
BUT THERE ARE VACUUM CLEANERS
SPECIFICALLY FOR SUCKING LOOSE FUR OFF CATS.
HE'S GETTING GROOMED AND LOVING IT.
"WATCH OUT THE PRIVATE PARTS THERE, PEOPLE."
Narrator: IN OUR NUMBER-TWO SPOT,
A SOCK THAT SEEMS POSSESSED, AND A CURIOUS KITTY.
WHO WILL PREVAIL?
Hilton: OH! OH!
HE DOES NOT LIKE THAT SOCK.
[ MEOWS ]
THAT COULD BE A SNAKE.
THAT COULD BE A DEADLY SPIDER.
Narrator: "IS IT ALIVE?"
"I'M NOT SURE."
HERE HE GOES. OH, IT'S ALIVE.
GET OUT OF HERE. RUN.
[ MEOWS ]
"GUYS, COME CHECK THIS OUT."
"MM-HMM. WHAT DO WE GOT HERE?
IS THIS THING OKAY?"
"AH, IT'S FINE. DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT."
HIS FRIENDS ARE JUDGING HIM.
THEY'RE LIKE, "IT'S JUST A SOCK, DUDE."
THEY KNOW THE CAT'S NOT THE BRIGHTEST ONE OF THE BUNCH.
I THINK THE SOCK WON THIS BATTLE.
HENCE THE TERM "SCAREDY-CAT."
Narrator: OUR NUMBER-ONE COMEDIC KITTY
IS AN ATTENTION-SEEKING CAT NAMED BOO,
WHO FIGURED OUT HOW TO GET HIS OWNER OUT OF BED
AT THE CRACK OF DAWN.
OH, MY GOSH!
[ LAUGHS ]
Heather: "WAKE UP!
WAKE UP!"
[ LAUGHS ]
"LET ME IN! LET ME IN!"
CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW ANNOYED YOU WOULD BE?
I WOULD NOT WANT TO HEAR THAT AT 5:00 IN THE MORNING.
I WOULD NOT.
Narrator: WHY IS THIS KITTY UP AT ZERO-CAT-30?
CATS ARE, OF COURSE, SO-CALLED CREPUSCULAR,
WHICH MEANS THEY ARE MOST ACTIVE AT DUSK AND DAWN.
UNLESS YOU TRAIN THEM OTHERWISE,
THEY WILL BE UP AT THE CRACK OF DAWN.
AND IT'S NOT GONNA GIVE UP UNTIL SOMEONE OPENS THE DOOR.
SMART CAT, STUPID PERSON.
CAT EVERY MORNING GOES "BOING, BOING, BOING."
Dr. Dodman: AND IT WORKS.
EVERY TIME HE BOINGS IT,
HIS OWNER GETS UP AND OPENS THE DOOR.
DID YOU EVER THINK ABOUT TAKING THE THING OFF THE DOOR?
"NOPE. I DIDN'T THINK ABOUT IT."
YOU DESERVE TO BE WOKEN UP EVERY DAY AT 5:00 A.M.
Narrator: BOO CERTAINLY HAS OUR ATTENTION,
BUT DOES HE HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO BE AMERICA'S CUTEST?
I GIVE IT THE CROWN. THUMBS UP.
[ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING ]
Narrator: HANG ON.
WE STILL HAVE TO MEET THIS FRIGHTENED LITTLE TABBY...
[ YOWLS ]
...AND THIS CAT, WHO LOVES TO HEAR "YOU'VE GOT MAIL."
[ MEOWS ]
Narrator: SO FAR, A SPIDER CAT AND A KITTY ALARM CLOCK
HAVE MADE TO THE FINALS FOR AMERICA'S CUTEST CAT.
[ DRUMROLL ]
NOW IT'S TIME FOR THOSE FEISTY FELINE BAD BOYS.
I LOVE CATS THAT PLAY PRANKS.
OWNERS OFTEN WONDER WHY THEIR CAT GETS INTO SUCH MISCHIEF.
AND THE ANSWER IS BECAUSE A CAT JUST WANTS TO HAVE FUN.
THEY'RE GONNA FIND SOMETHING TO DO
IF YOU DON'T PROVIDE FIXED ACTIVITIES FOR THEM.
Narrator: WELL, WHAT ARE WE WAITING FOR?
LET'S COUNT DOWN THE MOUSER MISCHIEF CAUGHT ON TAPE.
OUR FIRST CAT IN THE ACT MAKES HIS DEBUT AT NUMBER FIVE
FOR SKILLFULLY RELOCATING HIS BUDDY'S BREAKFAST.
"CAN I JUST HAVE A TASTE?
JUST A LITTLE BITTY TASTE?"
SOMEONE'S POSTURING.
[ LAUGHS ]
AND, YOU KNOW, HE'S CLEVER ABOUT THAT.
"I'M A LITTLE CURIOUS OF WHAT YOUR FOOD TASTES LIKE.
"I MEAN, MY FOOD'S GOOD.
BUT YOUR FOOD -- IT LOOKS SO TASTY."
"SHARING IS CARING.
SHARING IS CARING."
"YOU KNOW, I'M JUST GONNA TRY TO PULL THE BOWL CLOSER TO ME
SO I HAVE THE ADVANTAGE."
[ MEOWS ]
Narrator: "STEALING" THE NUMBER-FOUR POSITION
IS A KLEPTO-KITTY NAMED MICKEY.
Woman: TAKE IT AND GO.
HE'S TAKING IT TO GO EAT IT.
"DON'T TOUCH MY BREAD.
DON'T TOUCH MY BREAD."
"NOBODY GETS BETWEEN ME AND MY BREAD."
NOW HE'S GETTING ANGRY WITH IT.
Woman: GIVE IT TO ME, MICKEY.
GIVE IT TO ME. LET IT GO.
"IT'S MINE. GIMME.
GIMME, GIMME. IT'S MINE."
THERE ARE NO MICE IN THE HOUSE.
THERE'S NO PREY ANIMALS TO RETRIEVE,
SO WHY NOT A LOAF OF BREAD?
[ MEOWS ]
Narrator: SPOOKED AT NUMBER THREE ON OUR COUNTDOWN
IS SCAREDY-CAT WHO DOESN'T LIKE WHAT HE SEES.
[ GASPS, YOWLS ]
OH, MY GOODNESS.
THAT'S OUTRAGEOUS.
SOMETHING SCARED THAT KITTY.
Narrator: WHAT COULD IT BE?
I AM AT A COMPLETE LOSS
EXCEPT FOR THE FACT THAT WHATEVER IT IS
HAS JUST SCARED THE LIVING HELL OUT OF THIS CAT.
[ BOING! ]
CAT COULD HAVE SEEN A GHOST, RIGHT?
THAT CAT FRIGHTENS THE LIFE OUT OF ME.
REMEMBER, THEY'RE PREDATORS,
SO THEY'RE READY AT A MOMENT'S NOTICE TO MOVE.
YOU KNOW WHEN YOU'RE REALLY SCARED, YOU CAN LIFT A CAR UP?
THAT'S THIS CAT.
A VERY STRANGE SIGHT, I HAVE TO SAY.
Narrator: HELPING HIMSELF IN THE NUMBER-TWO SPOT
IS A PARCHED PUSSYCAT.
OH, MY GOSH!
"YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA DO?
"MY OWNER'S GONE.
I'M GONNA DRAIN THIS WHOLE WATER TANK ON THE FLOOR."
[ LAUGHS ]
THAT IS ONE NAUGHTY CAT.
[ MEOWS ]
THIS CAT IS JUST LIKE, "WHAT IS THIS MAGICAL MACHINE?
"WHAT IS GOING ON WITH THIS?
HOW DOES THIS WORK?"
[ MEOWS ]
THAT IS MISCHIEVOUS.
VERY SMART.
HOW MANY CATS YOU KNOW THAT CAN JUMP ON THE COUNTER,
HIT THE BUTTON OF A WATER COOLER?
THIS IS A SMART CAT.
I'D BE SO MAD IF MY CAT DID THIS EVERY TIME.
I WOULD BE LIKE, "ALL RIGHT, WE HAVE A PROBLEM HERE.
"LIKE, WE ARE GONNA HAVE TO GO TO THE CAT WHISPERER RIGHT NOW
AND SOLVE THIS."
Narrator: AND NOW, WAITING FOR A SPECIAL DELIVERY
IN THE NUMBER-ONE POSITION,
IT'S THE MOST MISCHIEVOUS CAT OF THE BUNCH.
HE'S GUARDING THE FRONT DOOR.
I GUESS HE'S EXPECTING A LETTER.
WHAT'S HE GONNA DO?
OH.
[ LAUGHS ]
CAT IS STEALING THE MAIL.
LOOK AT THAT.
THAT IS IMPRESSIVE.
IS HE GONNA HIDE IT?
"ALL RIGHT, I GOT TO PUT IT SOMEWHERE
"THAT I'VE NEVER PUT IT BEFORE.
I DON'T WANT THEM TO FIND IT THIS TIME."
FIVE STARS.
Narrator: AND SO TODAY ON "AMERICA'S CUTEST CAT,"
THE NUMBER-ONE FELINE WHO IS "CAT" IN THE ACT
IS THE CAT THAT STEALS THE MAIL.
BUT DOES THIS KITTY HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO STEAL THE CROWN?
[ MEOWS ]
Narrator: OUR NEXT CATEGORY
CELEBRATES ALL THE COMICAL KITTIES IN CYBERSPACE
THAT GET INTO STICKY SITUATIONS.
WELL, SOMETIMES CATS GET AHEAD OF THEMSELVES.
[ MEOWS ]
SOMETHING LOOKS FUN, SOMETHING'S EXCITING,
AND THEY DON'T PLAN IT OUT AHEAD OF TIME.
THEY ACT AND "OOPS!"
SO SOMETIMES THEIR EXCITEMENT OVERRIDES THEIR LOGIC,
AND THAT CAN GET THEM INTO STICKY SITUATIONS.
THERE'S A PART OF US THAT WANTS TO PROTECT OUR CAT
AND WANTS TO MAKE SURE THAT THEY DON'T EXPERIENCE BAD THINGS,
AND THEN THERE'S THE OTHER PART.
IT'S LIKE WANTING TO SEE SOMEONE SLIP ON A BANANA PEEL.
[ SLOOP! ]
CATS ARE SO FLEXIBLE
AND CAN ORIENTATE THEMSELVES SO QUICKLY...
...THAT EVEN WHEN THEY GET THEMSELVES
INTO WHAT APPEARS TO BE TERRIBLE TROUBLE
AND FALL TO THE GROUND, THEY USUALLY BOUNCE LIKE A BALL.
Narrator: SO HAVE A GOOD LAUGH
BECAUSE WE'RE ABOUT TO ROLL OUT THE VERY BEST KITTIES
IN STICKY SITUATIONS.
BATTING AWAY AT NUMBER FIVE IS A FELINE GOALIE.
CATS -- THEY LOVE BASKETS.
THEY LOVE BOXES.
THEY LOVE TO GET INTO THESE TIGHT SPOTS.
THIS IS LIKE KITTY HOCKEY.
THAT CAT IS A GREAT GOALIE.
THERE YOU GO.
THAT CAT NEEDS AN OPPONENT.
"THIS ONE'S MINE NOW."
YOU SEE HIM? HE SNATCHED THAT BALL RIGHT UP.
THEY HAVE TO CATCH MICE FOR A LIVING,
SO THEY'D BETTER BE PRETTY GOOD AT SNAGGING THINGS.
[ CHUCKLES ] THAT IS TOO CUTE.
Narrator: CLINGING TO THE NUMBER-FOUR SPOT
IS A CAT WHOSE TONGUE IS LIKE VELCRO.
OH!
WHAT IS THAT CAT LICK--
HE'S GOT THE LONGEST TONGUE IN THE WORLD.
HE'S LIKE GENE SIMMONS FROM KISS.
JUST WATCHING IT STICK TO -- OH, GOSH.
THE CATS HAVE LITTLE HOOKS ON THEIR TONGUE,
SO WHAT'S HAPPENING
IS IT'S ACTUALLY HOOKING INTO THE FABRIC.
'CAUSE THEY USE THAT TONGUE TO LICK THE MEAT OFF THE BONE.
OH, GOSH.
THE THOUGHT OF THE FEEL OF THAT ON MY TONGUE
GIVES ME THE ***.
I DON'T KNOW HOW THE CAT'S DOING IT.
THE ONLY PUZZLE IS, WHY WOULD THAT SEEM PLEASANT?
Narrator: AT NUMBER THREE IS A CAT
WHO HOPES TO COMPLETE A HIGH JUMP ONTO A BUREAU.
CAN HE DO IT?
"WANT ME TO JUMP?
"ARE WE GOING FOR IT?
WHAT'S GOING ON? I CAN'T MAKE UP MY MIND."
YEAH.
YOU JUST KIND OF KNOW THIS IS GONNA END BADLY.
[ Laughing ] OH!
FAIL!
OH!
OH!
THAT WAS A TOTAL FAILURE.
JUST COMPLETELY MISSED THE LAUNCH.
[ LAUGHS ]
NO CLUE OF HOW MUCH IT NEEDED TO JUMP.
IT SORT OF REMINDS ME OF A POLE VAULTER
THAT TOTALLY MISCALCULATES AND JUST BLOWS IT.
NO OLYMPICS FOR THAT CAT, NO GLORY -- JUST SHAME.
THAT CAT WILL NEVER LIVE THIS DOWN.
Narrator: SQUEEZING IN TO THE NUMBER-TWO SPOT
IS A FLEXIBLE FUR BALL NAMED HOBBS.
Man: HERE'S YOUR BOX.
"YOU THINK THAT I CAN'T FIT IN THERE?
ALL RIGHT, I'M GONNA DO IT."
"LET ME GET MY PAW IN HERE.
"LOOK, LET ME JUST MOVE TO THE RIGHT, LEFT.
"HOLD ON. I'M ALMOST IN. WATCH THIS.
BETTER GET MY TAIL IN HERE. HOLD ON."
AND THEN THERE'S THAT NAUGHTY OLD TAIL
ADDING A LITTLE PREDATORY TWIST.
"HERE I GO. I'M IN.
"ALL RIGHT, YOU SEE? TOLD YOU I COULD DO IT.
NOW, LEAVE ME ALONE."
THEY ARE SO FLEXIBLE.
THEIR SPINES ARE SO CURVY
THAT THEY MAKE THE VERY BEST CONTORTIONISTS,
AND THEY CAN GET INTO THE TINIEST LITTLE SPACES.
Narrator: MAKING A BIG SPLASH AT NUMBER ONE IS CASEY,
A CAT FROM NEWFOUNDLAND WHO'S GONE FISHING.
I TELL YOU WHAT, IF I'VE SEEN IT ONE TIME,
I'VE SEEN IT A MILLION TIMES.
OH! OH! OH!
Heather: [ LAUGHS ]
[ YOWLS ]
[ YOWLS ]
OH! [ LAUGHS ]
HE GOT A BATH INSTEAD OF DINNER.
Narrator: CONGRATULATIONS TO CASEY.
YOU MADE A BIG SPLASH, AND YOU'RE IN THE FINALS,
BUT ARE YOU AMERICA'S CUTEST CAT?
[ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING ]
COMING UP, WE HAVE SOME KITTEN CUTENESS,
BUT ARE THEY READY FOR THEIR CLOSE-UP?
[ PURRS ]
[ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING ]
Narrator: SO FAR, A SPIDER CAT,
A KITTY WHO WAKES HIS DAD UP AT 5:00 A.M.,
A CAT THAT STEALS THE MAIL, AND CASEY, THE FISHING CAT
HAVE MADE IT INTO THE FINALS FOR "AMERICA'S CUTEST CAT."
BUT THE CUTENESS HAS ONLY JUST BEGUN
BECAUSE NOW IT'S TIME FOR "TUCKERED TABBIES."
AND YOUR CAMERAS WERE ROLLING
ON SOME OF THE CUTEST SLEEPING KITTIES WE'VE EVER SEEN.
WHY CAN'T YOU BE THAT CUTE, DOG, HUH?
Narrator: BECAUSE THERE'S JUST SOMETHING
ABOUT THE WAY A KITTY SLEEPS THAT MAKES US GO "AWW."
CATS ARE SO CUTE WHEN THEY'RE SLEEPING.
THEY'LL JUST CHILL OUT.
THEIR ARMS ARE THIS WAY.
THEIR LEGS ARE THAT WAY.
AND THEY HAVE THIS EXPRESSION ON THEIR FACE
THAT'S JUST SO CALMING.
YOU KNOW, IT CHILLS YOU DOWN WHEN YOU WATCH THEM SLEEP.
MY CAT, NATHAN, SNORES, AND IT DOESN'T BOTHER ME.
AND I'M GONNA IMITATE HIM.
[ SNORING ]
I MEAN, IT'S CUTE.
IF IT WAS A GUY, IT WOULD DRIVE ME NUTS!
Narrator: OKAY, WE GET IT.
CATS ARE CUTE WHEN THEY SLEEP.
BUT WHY DO THEY NEED SO MANY HOURS OF SLEEP EACH DAY?
Galaxy: CATS SLEEP SO MUCH
BECAUSE IN THE BACK OF THAT LITTLE HUNTER HEAD OF THEIRS,
THEY'RE JUST GEARING UP FOR THE HUNT.
SO THEY SLEEP AND THEY SLEEP AND THEY SLEEP.
THEN THEY WAKE UP,
AND THEN THEY CAN HUNT FOR LIKE SIX STRAIGHT HOURS.
AND THEN THEY'LL SLEEP SOME MORE.
THEY GOT A GREAT LIFE, RIGHT?
[ SNORES ]
Narrator: LET'S COUNT DOWN THESE CUTER-THAN-CUTE DREAMING KITTIES
FROM FIVE TO ONE.
COMING IN AT NUMBER FIVE, THIS FEISTY FELINE
IS DETERMINED TO WAKE UP HIS BUDDY, WHO JUST WANTS A NAP.
JUST TRYING TO CATCH A FEW Z's.
AND THAT CRAZY CAT NEXT TO IT
IS JUST, LIKE, GNAWING ON ITS EARS.
Wayde: "YOU KNOW, LISTEN, I'M TIRED.
"I JUST WANT TO LAY HERE.
YOU'RE MAKING A LOT OF NOISE."
"STOP BOTHERING ME.
"THAT'S MY TAIL.
"STOP IT ALREADY. COME ON.
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO LEAVE ME ALONE."
"THERE I GO.
OH! ***, ***, ***."
I GOT TO GIVE THE WHITE CAT POINTS FOR PERSISTENCE.
THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR BUGGING WITH SOMEBODY SLEEPING.
YOU FALL RIGHT ON YOUR "PBHT!"
Narrator: STACKING UP IN THE NUMBER-FOUR POSITION
IS ONE TIRED TABBY,
A FAMOUS JAPANESE CAT NAMED SHIRONEKO.
HOW DO YOU FIND OUT THAT YOUR CAT DOES THIS?
FIVE CANS ON TOP OF A CAT'S HEAD.
THAT HAS TO WEIGH, LIKE, AS MUCH AS THE CAT RIGHT THERE.
MY DOGS COULD NOT DO THIS.
THEY WOULD BE TRYING TO RIP OPEN THE CANS TO EAT.
THIS CAT IS OUT COLD.
[ CHUCKLES ]
THIS IS, LIKE, SO ZEN RIGHT NOW WATCHING THIS CAT
JUST, LIKE, SIT THERE, SLEEPING
WITH A STACK OF CANS ON HIS HEAD.
Dr. Dodman: I THINK THIS IS TOTALLY UNIQUE.
I'VE NEVER SEEN A CAN-ON-HEAD BALANCING CAT BEFORE.
Narrator: CURLING UP IN THE NUMBER-THREE SPOT
IS A SLEEPING KITTEN THAT GIVES CATNAP A WHOLE NEW MEANING.
IT'S LIKE, "DON'T BOTHER ME RIGHT NOW.
DON'T TOUCH MY HEAD. I'M SLEEPING."
IT'S IN A KIND OF SEMI-STATE OF SLEEP.
"I CAN SLEEP LIKE THIS.
"I CAN STRETCH MY LEGS OVER MY HEAD.
I CAN WRAP MY ARMS AROUND ME."
THAT IS -- I HAVE TO SAY -- A PRETTY UNUSUAL POSITION
FOR SLEEPING, EVEN FOR A CAT.
I'M GONNA CALL THIS POSITION IN YOGA "DOWNWARD KITTY."
THAT IS ONE FLEXIBLE CAT, THOUGH.
LIKE, I WISH I COULD BLOCK THE LIGHT
WHEN I'M SLEEPING WITH MY FEET.
Man: HEY!
[ PURRING ]
Narrator: AND THE NUMBER-TWO SLEEPING KITTY
IS ONE OF THE CUTEST FELINE FUR BALLS WE'VE EVER SEEN.
Hilton: THAT LOOKS LIKE A BABY KITTY.
[ GASPS ] AWW.
THAT CAT'S DREAMING ABOUT HIS MOM.
Dr. Dodman: THE LITTLE TOES ARE WIGGLING AWAY
AS ITS DOING SOMETHING IN ITS DREAM.
OH, AND ITS MOTHER IS RIGHT THERE.
"I'M SWIMMING IN MILK RIGHT NOW.
THAT'S WHAT I'M DREAMING."
THE BRAIN IS ACTIVE.
IT'S IN WHAT THEY CALL THE SLEEP OF THE BODY
WITH THE MIND STILL GOING.
Wayde: SWEET DREAMS.
HE HAD A LONG DAY.
Narrator: AND NOW, WITH OVER 5 MILLION VIEWS,
OUR TOP-TUCKER TABBY, MANUEL,
CAN'T BEAT THE ALLURE OF A CATNAP.
[ LAUGHS ]
"TRY TO STAY UP. TRY TO STAY UP.
TRY TO STAY UP."
"I'M GOING OUT. I'M GOING TO SLEEP. WATCH ME."
BOOM.
[ LAUGHS ]
Narrator: IS THAT KITTY OKAY?
Dr. Dodman: AS THE CAT FALLS INTO DEEP SLEEP,
THE SEROTONIN SYSTEM IS SWITCHED OFF,
ITS LARGE ANTIGRAVITY MUSCLES ARE EFFECTIVELY INACTIVATED.
AND...
LIGHTS OUT.
THIS IS EXACTLY HOW I FALL ASLEEP EVERY NIGHT.
NOW, THAT RIGHT THERE IS MY FAVORITE CLIP.
Narrator: WAKE UP, MANUEL.
THERE ARE STILL TWO CATEGORIES TO GO.
COMING UP, ARE THESE FELINES PLAYING PATTY-CAKE?
AND WHAT IS THIS KITTY GETTING ALL CLEANED UP FOR?
[ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING ]
Narrator: AS OUR COUNTDOWN CONTINUES,
THIS BUNDLE OF SLEEPINESS HAS MADE IT TO THE FINALS
OF "AMERICA'S CUTEST CAT."
BUT THERE ARE STILL TWO CATEGORIES TO GO.
THEY SAY IMITATION IS THE SINCEREST FORM OF "CATTERY,"
AND THESE COPYCATS DON'T DISAPPOINT,
SHOWING US JUST HOW HUMANLIKE THEY CAN BE.
I THINK THAT WE FIND ANYTHING THAT CATS DO THAT'S HUMANLIKE --
IT'S JUST HILARIOUS.
[ SLOOP! ]
CATS CAN IMITATE HUMAN BEHAVIOR BECAUSE THEY OBSERVE US,
AND THEN THEY WILL TRY TO MIMIC WHAT WE'RE DOING.
[ TELEPHONE RINGS ]
THEY CAN LEARN BY TRIAL AND ERROR,
THEY CAN LEARN BY BEING TAUGHT, AND THEY'RE PRETTY SMART.
AND SO, LET'S SAY THEY SEE YOU OPEN A CUPBOARD.
THEY WILL STORE THAT MEMORY,
AND SOME CATS WILL LEARN HOW TO MIMIC WHAT YOU JUST DID.
SO BE CAREFUL, THEY MIGHT LEARN HOW TO DRIVE YOUR CAR.
Narrator: LET'S COUNT DOWN
OUR TOP FIVE COPYCATS CAUGHT ON TAPE.
IN THE NUMBER-FIVE POSITION FOR "KITTY SEE, KITTY DO,"
A GAME OF FELINE PATTY-CAKE.
IS THAT TWO CATS, OR IS THAT ONE CAT AND A MIRROR?
IS IT NOT A MIRROR?
IT'S NOT A MIRROR.
"LISTEN, YOU FOLLOW ME.
RIGHT HAND, LEFT HAND. RIGHT HAND, LEFT HAND."
[ LAUGHS ]
SOMEBODY HAD TO TEACH THEM THIS.
NOW THEY'RE JUST STARING.
***!
RIGHT IN THE FACE.
OOH! JINX!
TAKE THAT.
"YOU GOT TO FOLLOW.
YOU GOT TO DO THE SAME THING!"
I LOVE THIS.
Narrator: OUR NUMBER-FOUR PICK FOR "KITTY SEE, KITTY DO"
IS A GROUP OF KITTENS
WHOSE CURIOSITY GIVES THEM QUITE A SCARE.
[ VACUUM WHIRRING ]
[ Laughing ] OH! OH!
[ LAUGHS ]
ONE OF THEM TURNS IT ON.
IN THIS CASE, CURIOSITY DIDN'T KILL THE CATS.
IT JUST SCARED THE BEJESUS OUT OF THEM.
[ VACUUM WHIRRING ]
AND IT'S EVEN GOT A BIG, BRIGHT LIGHT
LIKE A FIRE-BREATHING DRAGON.
YOU WONDER WHY, AS THESE CATS GROW UP, THEY'RE WHAT?
[ VACUUM WHIRRING ]
[ CATS YOWLING ]
SCARED OF THE VACUUM CLEANER.
[ YOWLS ]
Narrator: JUST CHILLIN' IN THE NUMBER-THREE SPOT
IS A COOL CAT NAMED CHARLIE.
"WHAT'S UP, BUDDY?
GOOD. GIVE ME A HIGH FIVE."
THAT IS AWESOME.
SEE, THAT RIGHT THERE -- ONE LITTLE MOVEMENT --
THAT IS, LIKE, THE BEST CAT TRICK EVER.
[ LAUGHS ]
A LOT OF PEOPLE TRAIN THEIR DOGS,
BUT YOU CAN ALSO TRAIN A CAT TO DO HIGH FOUR.
HERCULES, YOU GIVE ME A HIGH FIVE?
HERCULES, GIVE ME HIGH FIVE.
NO? OKAY.
"WHERE'S MY TIP?
I JUST DID YOUR TRICK."
Narrator: BATTING THEIR WAY INTO THE NUMBER-TWO SPOT
ARE CURIOUS KITTENS WITH AN INTEREST IN PHYSICS.
"YOU HIT THIS SIDE. I HIT THAT SIDE. NOW WATCH."
OH, MY GOSH. THAT IS SO...WOW.
THESE ARE EINSTEIN CATS.
IF THE QUESTION WAS, WHY DO WE HAVE KITTENS?
THERE YOU GO.
THIS IS WHY WE HAVE KITTENS.
I CAN SEE THIS GOING HORRIBLY WRONG.
[ CHUCKLES ]
THE STRINGS, THE BARS. LOOKIT.
THEY'RE LIKE, "OKAY, TIME TO DESTROY."
OH, NO! OH, NO!
[ GASPS ]
"HOLD ON A SECOND. LET ME CLEAN MY TEETH HERE.
I GOT TO FLOSS MY TEETH."
OUCH.
THEY HAVE TO BE KITTEN-CHEW-PROOF STRINGS
BECAUSE IF IT'S A STRING AND CATS AND KITTENS --
NOT SUCH GOOD NEWS.
LOOKS LIKE GAME OVER.
[ GAME OVER SOUND EFFECT ]
Narrator: CLEANING UP THE COMPETITION
IN THE NUMBER-ONE POSITION IS A SQUEAKY-CLEAN KITTY
NAMED BIANCA.
THIS IS THE COOLEST CAT IN THE WORLD.
BIANCA IS GETTING A DRINK AND A BATH AT THE SAME TIME.
MAYBE SHE'S GOT A DATE.
[ LAUGHS ]
THAT'S A SMART CAT.
"I TAKE THE TOWEL.
"I CLEAN BEHIND MY EARS.
"I GET BY MY EYES. MM-HMM. I WIPE THE TOP OF MY HEAD.
MY TONGUE DON'T REACH UP THERE. I GOT TO DO IT THIS WAY."
GOING TO THE TOWEL AND DRYING OFF IS VERY HUMAN,
I'VE GOT TO SAY.
IF HERCULES' HEAD GOT WET,
HE'D PROBABLY JUST CLEAN IT UP ON THE BEDSHEETS,
WOULDN'T YOU, BUDDY?
Narrator: BIANCA, YOU ARE ONE TIDY TABBY,
BUT DO YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO REIGN SUPREME
AS AMERICA'S CUTEST CAT?
[ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING ]
COMING UP, THERE'S ONE CATEGORY LEFT,
AND IT'S A DOUBLE DOSE OF "AWW."
[ CRYING ]
ARE YOU READY FOR CATS AND BABIES?
[ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING ]
Narrator: A SQUEAKY-CLEAN KITTY HAS MADE IT TO THE FINALS
IN OUR QUEST TO CROWN AMERICA'S CUTEST CAT.
BUT THERE'S STILL ONE CATEGORY OF SWEETNESS TO GO,
AND WE COULDN'T MAKE IT ANY CUTER IF WE TRIED.
Woman: [ LAUGHS ]
[ MEOWS ]
CATS AND CHILDREN ARE AMAZING TOGETHER.
[ CHILDREN AWW ]
THEY SENSE THAT THESE ARE THEIR BABIES.
[ LAUGHING ]
AND THEY REALIZE THAT THEY'RE THERE NOT TO HURT THEM,
SO I THINK THEY LOOK AT THEM AS PLAYMATES.
[ BOTH LAUGH ]
Dr. Dodman: IF YOU HAVE A NICE, CALM, EVEN-TEMPERED CAT
AND THE CHILDREN INTERACT, IT'S A WONDERFUL THING
AND A WAY OF EDUCATING THEM ABOUT THIS CREATURE
WHICH IS OTHER THAN THEMSELVES.
Narrator: LET'S COUNT DOWN THESE ADORABLE MOUSERS
AND THEIR MINI BFFs CAUGHT ON TAPE.
COMING IN AT NUMBER FIVE FOR "CATS IN THE CRADLE,"
THE MOST MILD-MANNERED FELINE FASHION MODEL ON THE PLANET.
SHE'S MAKING IT A PRINCESS KITTY.
"THEY'RE ONLY RUBBER BANDS. IT'S NO BIG DEAL.
JUST STAY HERE. DON'T MOVE. HOLD ON."
HOW MANY DOES SHE HAVE?
[ MEOWS ]
"SHOULD WE DO THE OTHER EAR NOW?
NAH. WE CAN GET MORE ON THIS ONE."
IT'S INCREDIBLE TO ME
THE LEVEL OF PATIENCE THIS CAT IS SHOWING.
PATIENCE SCALE -- 11 OUT OF 10.
Narrator: LAUGHING OUT LOUD IN THE NUMBER-FOUR SPOT
IS A BABY WHO THINKS HIS TABBY IS THE FUNNIEST THING ALIVE.
[ LAUGHING ]
[ LAUGHS ]
[ LAUGHING ]
WOW.
THAT BABY'S GOT A VOICE LIKE A HYENA.
Woman: YOU'RE A NUT.
[ LAUGHING ]
THE BABY'S DOING THE LAUGH AND POINT.
[ LAUGHS ] "YOU'RE FUNNY."
THIS IS WHY ALL CHILDREN SHOULD GROW UP WITH CATS.
A NEW GENERATION OF CAT LOVER.
[ LAUGHING ]
Narrator: STACKING UP TO THE NUMBER-THREE POSITION
IS ONE TOLERANT TABBY NAMED SMUDGE.
[ PURRING ]
"HOLD ON. STAY THERE.
"I'M GONNA PUT SOME CUPS ON YOU, OKAY?
"STAY THERE. THAT'S TWO.
OKAY, LET'S GET SOME MORE."
Rossi: THAT CAT HAS TO BE EXTREMELY PATIENT,
EVEN THOUGH IT LOOKS A LITTLE ANNOYED
WITH THE TAIL MOVING IN THE BACK.
"OKAY, LET'S GET SOME MORE.
HOLD ON. DON'T MOVE, CAT."
[ PURRING ]
THIS WHOLE SCENARIO HERE
BODES VERY WELL FOR CAT AND BABY, BABY AND CAT.
[ CLICKS TONGUE ] VERY NICE.
[ MEOWS ]
Narrator: OUR NUMBER-TWO PICK FOR "CATS IN THE CRADLE"
IS BABY GREGORY AND HIS KITTY FRIEND, KATIE,
WHO MIGHT JUST BE THE WORLD'S MOST PATIENT CAT.
AND THERE'S A VERY YOUNG BABY -- 3 OR 4 MONTHS.
Hilton: OH!
THERE WAS A LOT OF LEG ACTION THERE.
THE KID IS KICKING THE CAT IN THE HEAD,
AND THE CAT'S NOT EVEN MOVING.
[ PURRING ]
THE CAT'S LIKE, "NO, REALLY, IT'S FINE.
"NO, REALLY, IT'S OKAY.
"OH, JUST DON'T HIT MY EYES.
JUST DON'T HIT MY EYES, AND I'LL BE OKAY."
HE ACTUALLY LOOKS LIKE HE'S ENJOYING IT.
Narrator: THAT'S BECAUSE BABY GREGORY
IS MIMICKING CAT BEHAVIOR.
WHEN CATS HAVE A FRIENDLY INTERACTION WITH EACH OTHER,
THEY DO THIS RUBBING AND BUNTING, IT'S CALLED,
WITH THEIR HEAD.
"KICK ALL YOU WANT. I'M NOT MOVING.
"GO AHEAD, TRY. GO FOR IT. SEE?
I'M NOT MOVING."
[ PURRING ]
Narrator: AND NOW THE CLIP YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR.
AT THE TOP OF THE "CAT AND BABY CUTENESS" HEAP
IS A KITTY NAMED STEWIE,
WHO HAS THE MAGIC TOUCH WITH BABY CONNOR.
NOW THE BABY IS SLEEPING!
THE CAT'S PUTTING ME TO SLEEP.
[ SNORES ]
AWW.
LOOK, THE CAT'S TRYING TO MAKE NICE AND SOOTHE THE BABY.
THIS CAT IS THE CAT BABY WHISPERER.
THE CAT SEEMS TO HAVE SUCCEEDED IN CALMING HIM DOWN.
THAT IS A MAGIC CAT.
[ COOING ]
OH, THAT IS THE CUTEST THING EVER.
ARE YOU KIDDING?
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
"I AM THE BEST CAT BABYSITTER IN THE WORLD.
"YOU SEE? I PUT THE KID TO SLEEP.
ALL RIGHT? YOU OWE ME ONE."
Galaxy: THE CAT'S LIKE, "OKAY, I THINK I FIGURED IT OUT.
"AS LONG AS I HAVE MY PAW ON HIS HEAD,
HE DOESN'T MAKE THAT ANNOYING SOUND."
OFF-THE-SCALE CUTE.
[ SMOOCHES ]
Narrator: IN JUST A FEW MOMENTS, WE CROWN THE WINNER.
COMING UP NEXT, WHO IS AMERICA'S CUTEST CAT?
[ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING ]
Narrator: IT'S THE MOMENT THE WORLD HAS BEEN WAITING FOR.
OUT OF ALL THE WEB'S
DIABOLICALLY ADORABLE SENSATIONS,
WE'VE NARROWED DOWN THE CUTENESS FROM BILLIONS...
TO JUST SEVEN CUTE KITTY CLIPS.
THESE CLIPS ARE CRAZY CUTE.
Narrator: AND WHILE THESE VIRAL GEMS
ARE ALL OFF-THE-SCALE ENDEARING...
[ BOING! BOING! BOING! BOING! BOING! ]
THIS IS A TOUGH COMPETITION.
[ MEOWS ]
THESE CATS ARE UNBELIEVABLE.
AWW. THAT IS VERY CUTE.
Narrator: ...THERE IS BUT ONE CAT
THAT CAN BE NAMED AMERICA'S CUTEST.
THIS IS NOT GONNA BE AN EASY DECISION.
Narrator: THE GOLD'S COMING SOON,
BUT FIRST, LET'S RECAP THIS FELINE CUTE-A-PALOOZA.
AGILITY IS THE ESSENCE OF ANY FELINE,
BUT ONLY ONE COULD EARN THE TITLE "CAT BE NIMBLE."
THAT PRIZE GOES TO PIGGY THE SPIDER CAT,
WHO WALKED DOWN THE FRIDGE.
OH, MY GOSH. THAT IS SO...WOW.
OH, MY GOSH! OH, MY GOSH!
HEY, SPIDER CAT, I'M STUCK ON YOU.
Narrator: DOES PIGGY, THE SUPERPOWERED CAT
HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO BE DECLARED "KING OF CUTE"?
[ MEOWS ]
WHO COULD FORGET BOO,
THE CAT WHO WAKES HIS OWNER AT 5:00 A.M.
AND WON THE "ARE YOU 'KITTEN' ME" CATEGORY?
"IT'S TIME TO GET UP.
HERE'S YOUR ALARM CLOCK."
THIS CAT, FOR SHEER PERSEVERANCE TO GET HIS OWNER OUT OF BED,
DEFINITELY GETS IN THE RUNNING FOR NUMBER ONE.
[ MEOWS ]
Narrator: LET YOUR POOR DADDY SLEEP, BOO.
AND REMEMBER, THERE ARE FIVE MORE CATS IN THE RUNNING,
LIKE THE MAIL THIEF WHO WAS CAUGHT IN THE ACT
TO WIN THE "'CAT' IN THE ACT PRIZE."
[ MEOWS ]
Wayde: THAT'S A COOL CAT.
MOST PEOPLE HAVE DOGS THAT DO THAT, BUT THIS GUY --
THEY HAVE A CAT THAT GETS THE MAIL.
THAT IS IMPRESSIVE.
HE'S A GREAT CAT --
ANTICIPATING, LEAPING, ATTACKING.
YOU GOT IT FOR ME, BARON.
Narrator: YES, THAT WAS SPECIAL THE WAY YOU DELIVERED THAT MAIL,
BUT YOU STILL HAVE CASEY TO CONTEND WITH.
SHE FELL HEAD OVER HEELS FOR A TANK FULL OF FISH
IN THE "STICKY SITUATIONS" CATEGORY.
IS THERE FISH IN THERE?
[ LAUGHS ]
"I GOT HIM! I GOT HIM! I GOT HIM!
OH! OH, MY GOD! I GOT HIM! "
SPLISH SPLASH. THE KITTY'S IN THE BATH.
Narrator: DRY OFF, CASEY, 'CAUSE THERE'S NOTHING CUTER
THAN A TUCKERED TABBY,
AND THE KITTEN THAT SUDDENLY FELL ASLEEP STOLE THAT CROWN.
OH. HE'S DOZING OFF.
[ LAUGHS ]
OH. THAT HURT SO BAD.
THE CAT HAS A HANGOVER -- TOO MUCH MILK.
WAKE UP, LITTLE KITTY.
YOU COULD BE AMERICA'S CUTEST CAT.
Narrator: DON'T DREAM OF WINNING YET, LITTLE BEAUTY.
BIANCA, THE CAT THAT SHOWERS AND DRIES HERSELF
WON THE GOLD IN THE "KITTY SEE, KITTY DO" CLASS.
THIS CAT CLEARLY ENJOYS
FEELING WATER DRIBBLING ON HER FOREHEAD.
[ MEOWS ]
AND SHE CAN EVEN DRY HER HEAD.
SEE HOW SMART THEY ARE?
TAKING A SHOWER, DRYING OFF --
GOT TO BE IN THE RUNNING FOR THE BEST OF SHOW.
Narrator: AND CLEANING UP THE LAST CATEGORY IS STEWIE,
THE MASTER OF "CATS IN THE CRADLE."
STEWIE IS EVERY MOM'S HELPER.
IT'S PRECIOUS.
CATS AND BABIES GET ALONG JUST FINE.
[ PURRING ]
YOU DON'T GET ANY MORE CUTE THAN THAT.
[ YAWNS ]
Narrator: THESE ARE THE LUCKY SEVEN,
THE MOST STUPENDOUS, ADORABLE, INSATIABLY CUTE CATS
IN THE UNIVERSE,
BUT ONLY ONE CAN BE CROWNED AMERICA'S CUTEST CAT.
WHO WILL IT BE?
[ CATS MEOWING ]
OUT OF ALL THE VIDEOS WE JUST SAW,
THIS IS THE CUTEST ONE OF THE ENTIRE BUNCH.
[ CATS MEOWING ]
THIS CAT DESERVES A GOLD MEDAL.
[ CATS MEOWING ]
SO, THE CUTEST CAT IN AMERICA IS...
[ DRUMROLL ]
[ CATS MEOWING ]
Narrator: ENOUGH OF THIS FOOLISH TEASE.
THE NUMBER-ONE CLIP,
WITH ALMOST 10 MILLION ADORING VIDEO-CLICKING FANS
AROUND THE GLOBE...
THIS VIDEO IS TOO MUCH.
Narrator: ...AMERICA'S CUTEST CAT TITLE GOES TO...
[ DRUMROLL ]
...STEWIE, THE CAT THAT PUTS THE BABY TO SLEEP.
NOW THAT'S OFF-THE-SCALES CUTE.
THUMBS UP.
I KNEW THAT WAS THE WINNER.
Narrator: CONGRATULATIONS, STEWIE.
YOU COULD PUT THE SANDMAN OUT OF BUSINESS.
ANY CAT THAT HAS THAT MAGICAL POWER TO PUT A BABY TO SLEEP
WITH JUST A LIGHT TOUCH ON THE HEAD --
THAT WOULD BE NUMBER ONE IN MY BOOK.
Narrator: STEWIE, THE CAT WHO PUT THE CRYING BABY TO SLEEP,
YOUR CLIP IS THE CUTEST CUTE-A-PALOOZA IN AMERICA.
AND, AMERICA, YOU CAN GO TO animalplanet.com/americascutest
TO SEE MORE OF THE COUNTRY'S CUTEST CATS.
-- Captions by VITAC -- www.vitac.com
CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY DISCOVERY COMMUNICATIONS