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-So I have randomly obtained what I think is
my utter dream job.
Working for the game I love, for the creator of said game
in a helpful, assisting kind of way.
You are looking at the Vice President of Community
Creative Consultancy.
I made that title up.
But it sounds pretty awesome, right?
And the guild seemed happy for me, too.
On the way back from the convention, we stopped at an
outlet mall.
Clara and Tink helped me pick out work clothes, Bladezz and
Zaboo found this cool leather portfolio, and Vork haggled
both prices down by 20%--
which he then turned around and charged me as a
negotiating fee.
New job tomorrow!
Yay!
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
BLADEZZ (OFFSCREEN): Your midterms are due, and you're
raiding poolside?
-I have male minions taking care of everything.
My tests, my mechanic is fixing my
car battery for free.
I'm juggling 15 sets of balls today, literally.
-Whose pool are you at?
-Hey!
-I don't know.
Some dumb guy let me in.
-Codex, are you ready for work?
How's the jacket look?
Is it a power suit?
-Powerful something.
-Drive careful, OK?
You drive careful--
-Codex.
I hope you can get traction on my complaint backlog.
As of today, I have 1,534 unanswered bug reports with
the gaming authorities.
Unconscionable!
GEORGE (OFFSCREEN): Clara?
-Hi honey.
I wasn't online.
Nope.
[LAUGHTER].
You look cute.
-I'll be home after my meeting.
I assume you're not going to disappear to another
convention again without telling me?
-New leaf!
I'm going to be the best mom ever now.
Look at my hair.
I dyed it because I'm so serious.
-Yeah.
-Hey baby, after you finish my latte, you can start on
daddy's lunch salmon.
-Hey guys!
Just uploaded another cheesy pirate reacts to other people
reacting to cheesy pirate videos.
You wanna spare a cent for a like?
-The only thumbs up you've been getting lately are ours.
Hang it up, has-meme.
-I'll thumbs up your--
-OK you guys, I've gotta go.
Wish me luck, because I'll certainly need it.
ZABOO (OFFSCREEN): I made you lunch!
Your fav, PBJ and banana.
Brown paper bag, top shelf of the fridge.
-How did you--
-Laundry room window.
-Of course.
Bye!
[CHORUS OF GOODBYES]
-Love you!
-Don't text and drive!
-Backlog.
-She'll be back, right?
I mean, she's coming back.
Why isn't she back yet?
-With Madeline visiting later today, I can weather anything.
I'm clearing a four by four area in my guest room, and
have obtained a premium triple ply toilet paper for free
after coupon.
As my grandfather used to say, never scrimp on your lady's
*** comfort.
TINK (OFFSCREEN): (SEXY VOICE) Hey, Ben.
I was just wondering when you're getting me that silly
macroeconomics midterm.
(ANGRILY) What do you mean something came up?
-I put together a killer date agenda for us.
First, we'll be feeding the ducks.
Then, walk on the beach.
Then we'll get a little famished--
-Zaboo.
This visit with my lady is per invite only.
I'm detaching this third wheel preemptively.
-But what am I supposed to do when you guys are gone?
And Codex is offline too.
Why is everybody abandoning me?
[HIP HOP MUSIC PLAYING FROM CAR]
-Ah, hell no.
-Oh, hell yeah, tiny teen.
-We agreed that the house is your domain.
But this is the Bladezz pad!
-See, it don't work like that, peanut.
Me and your mammy getting kind of serious.
And post me doing a little ahhh-haaaa!
inside, I gotta get my gaming on.
So scoot!
You be banished, dog.
-Guys!
Bruiser's taking over my hangout!
Help!
-Aw, Bladezz, you can't got offline, too.
Oh, Vork, rock me gently.
-Negative.
-First, my midterm monkey drops out on me, and now my
mechanic is texting me.
He wants me to pay!
I mean, uh!
What ever happened to, "Oh, your smell is all I need,
baby?"
-Gabby, you forgot the vanilla syrup.
POOL GUY (OFFSCREEN): The owners'll be home soon, so
you're going to have to pack up those golden limbs and--
-[GASP].
[MUSIC PLAYING]
-Hey!
Floyd!
I'm here, promise.
-Codex!
Hey.
Hey.
Did the banners for the convention look like they were
made for a middle school ren faire?
-What?
No.
Um.
I'll be right in, I just have to find a parking space.
-Oh.
Just park in Sulo Morrison's spot.
She's a community manager.
She won't need it.
-Oh, thanks.
-Oh, Agent_Aiken.
Hope you get cancer.
Good morning to you too, sir!
God!
So we have this whole complex.
Like to keep the core group in this building here.
The adjacent buildings, they're for the worker bees.
I can't concentrate with all their constant chewing.
You're a quiet chewer, right?
-Yes.
I only eat pudding, yogurt, other soft things.
-Great.
To make it easy, put that around your neck.
It'll buzz when I need you.
-Oh.
OK.
Is this a restaurant buzzer?
-Yeah.
Are you ready for the cinematic?
[DRAGON GROWLS]
[MUSIC PLAYING]
-You look like my grandma's couch.
We're pretty lax about work hours around here, as long as
you're here when I need you at any second.
And then come in whenever you want.
This is Theodora, The Game's COO and head producer.
-Oh!
Is that vampire ice cream boss named after her?
-Yeah.
We thought it was a funny tribute.
-Anything that you hear is under NDA.
Breathe a word of it and I'll sue you into oblivion.
[COFFEE SPLASHES ON FLOOR]
-Good chat.
-86, 87--
-Watch where you jack there, Dono.
-Sorry.
-This is Donovan.
Hes my savant nephew, the lead programmer here.
Just got a crazy manover.
Thinks he's god's gift to women, right?
-Not, uh--
89--
really.
90.
Bye.
-He doesn't do great with humans.
-Wow, cool cubicle.
Awesome.
-You like it?
It's yours.
Yeah, make yourself at home.
-Really?
Oh my gosh, thank you.
Wow.
Who's Asian family is this?
-Sup, Floyd.
Who's the new chick?
-It's my new assistant, Roy.
Now get your crap out of here, or I'm putting you on forums
for the next two weeks.
-W--
Wait, th-- this is your cubicle?
-Guess not anymore.
-Uh--
-Everyone stand up.
This here is my new right-hand lady.
Everybody give her everything she needs, or I'm stripping
your characters of weapons.
I'm gonna make you fight with 0-DPS spoons instead.
Then I'm firing every single one of you!
No benefits!
-Floyd.
Always with the yelling, man.
-Mikey.
-No nicknames, dude.
You ready to talk about that child's play dinner?
-Yeah.
Hey, I gotta go.
Get to know the place.
Meet everybody.
Have fun.
-OK.
FLOYD (OFFSCREEN): I've gotta talk to you
about barbarians again.
-Hi.
Hello.
Nice to meet you.
Codex.
Hi.
-He gave you my parking spot?
-[SIGH].
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]