Tip:
Highlight text to annotate it
X
Carolyn and Sue Kramer, We're From Fair Lawn, NJ\
\ Carolyn: Hi, I'm Carolyn Kramer and I am from
Fair Lawn, New Jersey. And, this is my sister, Sue--\
\ Sue: Kramer. From Fair Lawn, New Jersey. \
Carolyn: My sister Sue prodded me a bit about being gay.\
\ Sue: I'd say a little more than prodding,
by the way. (laughter)\ \
Carolyn: Yeah, it was a little more than prodding. It was, "This girl, Carmel, is on the phone
and, um, she sounds gay, are you gay?" (laughter)\ \
Sue: Carolyn was depressed. She had a bit of a gray cloud hanging over her. Very often
we'd have family functions and she wouldn't want to go. We had parties to go to, she'd
say she wanted to stay home, and I'd say, "What's going on here? Something's going on.
Did this happen? Did that happen? Are you gay?" But made it very much like, "Are you
gay? Are you in love with this guy? What's going on here?" It wasn't like, "Oh my God,
are you gay?" It was like, "Are you gay? 'Cause-if-you-are-let's-move-on-with-it" kind of thing. And she was defensively like,
"Absolutely not! You can be assured that I am not gay."\
\ Carolyn: I had been miserable, suicidal, very,
very depressed. My mother took me out to dinner to a seafood restaurant right outside of Fair
Lawn, New Jersey; we sat there and we're eating and she said, "Your father and I think we
know why you've been depressed all these years." And I'm thinking there's no way, and in my
mind, 'oh here we go.' And she said, "If I tell you what it is, will you tell me the
truth?" And I'm thinking there's no way, so "Okay Mom! Go ahead." So she says, "Homosexuality.
I think it's homosexuality that you've been dealing with." And I got up and I ran to the
car--which, back in those days, 1980, you could leave the car open. And I got into the
car and I think I cried for the next three days, I could not stop. And it was then that
both my parents basically said, "If you are gay, we love you no matter what. And we're
going to help you, and you're going to be okay," and I believed them, and it was a huge
relief. I'm very, very blessed and very lucky because I never once had the experience of
somebody telling me, "Oh my God, you're gay? Get out of my life." Everyone, everyone, from
my best friends in high school, to my friends in college, to ex-boyfriends, to my family--I've
only had positive experiences from coming out, and so I'm so honored to be here, to
be able to tell my story.