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-It was the betrayal in his eyes.
Really, that was the worst.
I mean, Floyd's eccentric and myopic and hot, cold, hot,
cold, but I wanted to make him be happy and help him be
awesome because I love what he does.
So when your hero, who defended you to the point of
irrationality, looks at you with disappointment, one shot.
No resurrection.
-Time to say bye-bye.
-Way to ruin a moment, Roy.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
-Speech!
Speech!
Speech!
Speech!
Speech!
Speech!
Speech!
-Ready to rock?
The rave starts here, Verk--
whatever the [BLEEP]
your name is.
-One second.
Madeline, now I understand.
-What's he writing?
-I don't know.
VORK (OFFSCREEN): Purpose other than self
requires great sacrifice.
Plus, I will miss your lady cave.
MAN (OFFSCREEN): Yeah.
-Black knight, let us ride to victory!
[CHEERING]
-My love.
My love!
-Can I help you, warlock?
-Oh, reputation bar set to 0?
No!
Ugh!
OK.
All right.
Come on.
Calm it down, Zaboo.
I can fix this.
Here, I have a pearl necklace.
-We have mead at a good price, adventurer.
-Oh, they seriously removed NPC gifts from the game?
-I can offer you food or drink.
What will it be?
-Neither.
I don't want either of those things.
I want our love.
Where's that option?
Come on, Sabina, just-- just flip that tail for me.
Come on, flip it.
-If you've nothing to purchase, move along, gnome.
At least we'll have our memories--
well, screen shots.
[CRYING]
[SLOW, SENTIMENTAL MUSIC]
[SOUNDS OF SHOUTING OUTSIDE]
-Hey.
-Floyd fired me.
-Oh, who knew the world that we escape into could hurt just
as much as reality?
-What is this thing?
-Oh.
It's a dakimakura, a Japanese love pillow.
It's ergonomic to sleep with a full length body pillow
between your legs at night.
-Why is the NPC on it?
-Uh, no time for questions.
Let's get going.
-OK.
[GAMERS CHANTING]
-Crush him!
Crush him!
-No, no.
Gamers, inside voices.
Eyes on the dragon rider.
-Codex, did you get fired?
-Yeah.
Floyd found out about Vork somehow.
Now he thinks we did the leak and everything.
Theodora's going to Kermit-flip when she sues me
over that MBA.
-No, no, no.
That's not fair.
Codex, I know who leaked the expansion.
-You guys want to talk about me and Sabina first?
-No.
No.
VORK (OFFSCREEN): Attention--
-We're here.
Did we miss anything?
Where are the go sticks?
VORK (OFFSCREEN): Fellow players.
Fellow players, we gather here to protest great injustices
that are afoot in our virtual world.
-The game is crap now.
-Whoever's doing warlock power bouncing is a moron!
[GAMERS CHEERING]
-That new expansion underwater zone is ***.
GAMER (OFFSCREEN): Hell yeah, it is.
-Someone needs to be burned to death.
GAMER (OFFSCREEN): Damn right!
-Thank you from the counterproductive gallery.
[GAMERS CHANTING]
-Burn!
Burn!
Burn!
-Gamers--
they love you, and then they tear you apart.
-Don't you worry about it, sir.
Those guys step out of line, I got something up their RAMs.
-Thank you for your service.
I just can't believe that even that little IT guy is one of
the Knights of Good.
I like that guy.
-The Knights of Good?
Those turduckens broke up my guild.
-For innocuous-looking people, they sure cause a hell of a
lot of chaos.
-Floyd, I don't suppose you want to flip the switch to
release the expansion and run screaming out the back door?
-Now--
people--
louder.
[MOANING]
[GAMERS CHANTING]
VORK (OFFSCREEN): People, speech incoming.
We are greater than just our individual needs.
We are a movement that speaks as one.
[APPLAUSE]
-Thumbs up, talk it out.
Thumbs down, crush him, guys.
-Crush him!
[CHEERING]
-No crushing.
No crushing.
Who's on the dragon here?
(THROUGH COMPUTER SPEAKERS) Can a game be truly free if it
oppresses its gamers?
No.
It cannot.
-Oh my, he's quoting Lenin--
ish.
-So Donovan was the leak?
I knew we couldn't trust that hack.
-Then I told him about Vork, and then he told Floyd.
I guess it's like telephone for ***.
-But why would you tell him anything?
I thought we were friends.
-I'm sorry.
It was just getting really weird.
I was starting to like him.
-Clara, my mom commented on the video you made.
She's not taking your advice.
She's staying with Bruiser.
-Well, Wiggly just texted me, and he can't get his job back.
Sad gamer churro protest.
VORK (OFFSCREEN): Hear me, game authorities.
[CHEERING]
-We are citizens of your realm, and we are done being
complacent.
-Complacency is for [BLEEP]
casuals.
GAMERS: Yeah!
-No longer will you hold unerring sway over us from
your lofty castle!
-That's right!
Storm the castle.
GAMERS: Storm the castle!
-Uh, no, I was going to say we should circulate a petition,
actually.
-Raid HQ!
Raid HQ!
GAMERS: Raid HQ!
[CHANTING]
-Stop.
We must protest peacefully.
All resistance begins as a flickering candle.
GAMER: [INAUDIBLE]
fire!
GAMER: Somebody build a Molotov!
CODEX (OFFSCREEN): OK, guys, we gotta go.
Bye, Floyd.
-Hey, give me that.
-No!
No!
My dakimakura!
[DRAMATIC, SLOW STRING MUSIC]
-(SLOW MOTION) No!
GAMERS: Raid HQ!
-Gamers, sheath your rage.
Our characters are on perfect servers--
[INAUDIBLE].
[SCREAMS]
-Vork!
-My sweet activist!
-Oh my god!
I didn't even know I was pregnant!