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DON'T try this at home!
But what you SHOULD do is buy our shirts!
Now available at our store! Link's down below!
Hello, and welcome to "Is it a Good Idea to Microwave This?" I'm your host, Jory Caron.
And I'm your Lynn native sidekick, Riley McIlwain. Also native to Lynn is this jar of Marshmallow Fluff. If you zoom in right there, you'll notice this can of Fluff is right from Lynn, Massachusetts, my home town.
Jory: Yeah, I'll bet you're a native fluffer!
Riley: (sarcastically) Good one!
Jon: (laughs) He got you there, pillow biter!
*theme song plays*
Jory: It smells like victory!
Jory: All hands to the deck!
Jory: Nobody likes roasted nuts!
Jory: Let's get outta here!
Jory: Ventilation is key!
Jon: What're you doing?! Put that out!
Jory: The masks- they do nothing!
Riley: (muffled) Be careful!
Riley: The tin foil shield- it actually worked!
Jon: Does it still work?
Jory: You're dumb!
Jory: Stopping, stopping!
Jory and Riley: 2.8!
Jory: Is it a good idea to microwave this?
Let's find out! Here at the Jory Caron Laboratory 2.8, safety is, well, you know... That's why we have this microwave. Her name is Seamus... What the hell are you doing?!
Riley: It's just that Yamazon3's Fluff is just so good!
Jory: It's like you fingered Casper!
*Jon laughs in background*
Jory: Okay, so let's put this Fluff into the...
Riley: Wait- one more, one more!
Jory: No! That's wrong!
Jon: (to Riley) Aw, dude, come on!
Jory: Guys, quick decision- cap on or cap off?
Jon: Cap off!
Jory: Cap off!
Jon: The capper!
Jory: Okay, so how long should I put it in there for?
Riley: How 'bout two minutes?
Jory: Yeah, two minutes!
Jon: (laughs at Riley) You sick [beep]!
Riley: (laughs) I had to!
Jory: Okay, so let's do this!
*Silly Putty goo sound*
Jon: Get outta there!
Riley: We've got that white, fluffy goodness just sittin' in there, all ready to just pour out everywhere!
Jon: Not to mention the Fluff we have goin'!
Jory: I hope it bubbles up.
Riley: No, I think it's just gonna keep goin', and it's just gonna keep building and building, and then, all of a sudden, it'll just be, like... (moans)
Riley: Oh, look at it, look at it, look at it!
Jory: Oh, it's growing! Dude, this is what the Ghostbusters have to fight!
Riley: Aw! And it pours over!
Jon: Aw, nice!
Riley: I'll bet you that's so sweet! (makes farting noise)
*Jory and Riley laugh*
Riley: Oh, wait, wait... (makes grunting sounds)
Jory: Don't forget to pour out!
*Riley makes more farting noises*
Jory: Aw, it split! It's like a mixture of something and ***!
Riley: It's like *** soap!
Jory: This brings a whole new meaning to a Fluffernutter... How are we gonna clean this?!
Riley: Legit! This is, like, the messiest season ever! I'm gonna leave the mask. I think we're just all gonna instantly get di-ah-beet-us!
Jory and Riley: (in Wilford Brimley voice) Di-ah-beet-us!
Jon: (in exaggerated Boston accent) Thanks, Wilford!
Jory: That's the most pleasant smell we've ever had! Legit, it smells like s'mores right now!
Jon: Aw, look what you did!
Riley: It's the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man!
Jory: On a scale, if you could put Mighty Putty at one end, you would have to put Fluff at the other end.
Riley: This is really slippery! Ready? Watch this!
Jory: (disgustedly) Oh-ho-ho!
Riley: Don't breathe this!
Jory: Oh, God! Great! Now, these gloves are...
Jon: (extra sarcastically) Oh, yeah, 'cause they were in pristine condition a minute ago!
Jory: They were! We were gonna return them! We were gonna walk into Home Depot and be, like, "These aren't really the gloves we were expecting!"
So, you may be wondering, is it a good idea to microwave Fluff? Um, yeah. It reduces the volume of your... Did I already say "good idea"?
Riley: No.
Okay, BAD idea, then! See? I'm a flip-flopper! I like to flip-flop on the issues when it comes to mallow substances.
Jon: Thanks, Mitt Romney!
So, that's about it for this episode of "Is it a Good Idea to Microwave This?" I'm your host, Jory Caron.
Riley: I'm your sticky sidekick, Riley McIlwain. 'Bye!
Jory: (annoyed at Fluff on gloves) Great...
*end credits play*
Jory: ("asking" at Home Depot) "Excuse us, sir, what's this white substance on these gloves?"
Jory and Jon: (pervertedly) Aw!
Riley: (in British accent) Not fishing!
Jory: (also in British accent) Not fishing!
*Click on episode #82 to see the attack Spider-Man would use on the Hobgoblin... or Mary Jane... if he were inside Lacey Microwave!*