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I know when I came to Balanced View, the opportunity to ask questions was amazing.
I had a lot of them and I even had them after I didn’t have them anymore.
Because it was just so incredible to have this interaction
and just a possibility of a place to come and talk about these things.
Because what I often found was, just in listening to what other people had to say,
what the trainer had to say, what Candice had to say,
it worked in the most mysterious and surprising ways.
I’d be just back there, minding my own business and then all of a sudden I’d hear this thing,
and it kind of, blasted the top of my head off...
and just completely, you know, unassuming, unassuming.
And so, it’s just so amazing and I find this still,
when I listen to talks that are on the website, of other trainers, of Candice,
of other participants: it’s just so amazing.
It just lights up in our own experience, basically what we already know.
Basically, what we already know and we’re in these rooms and on these calls
because we already know it and we’re just looking for a confirmation.
And it just happens completely naturally for everyone in their own experience.
Sometimes it’s like, “Wow, I’m not getting this.
Am I doing it right? How do you take a short moment?”
And that type of thing and sometimes it’s just like the top of your head blown off.
And it really doesn’t make any difference,
because it is brightening in our experience,
all the time, and all we have to do is just show up
for this incredible Mainstays, Four Mainstays lifestyle.
Now, one of the things in the Four Mainstays lifestyle that was a complete...
speaking of a comprehensive view,
completely different for me was how I interact in a group.
And what I was looking for in a group to interact with.
And I saw many, many data streams that I had about what I thought groups should be,
what I thought they should do for me, how I thought I should interact
and all of that type of thing. But what I really found,
and this was so surprising for me, was just this completely open environment,
where I was behaving differently than I ever had before.
More inclusive, more comprehensive
and it really was comprehensive because it was not only in these rooms,
it was every other room I was in.
That sense of what I could get for me, it just kind of settled out,
because there was no difference between me and you.
And this was really experienced in a felt sense.
And you know, just incredible respect and kindness
that I felt in these rooms and I felt working on various projects.
And just that ease; that kind of magical ease with which things could get done,
in kind of... different from what I had felt before in groups,
where I was always jockeying for position you know, “What? How?”
You know? And it may have been couched in, you know, “How can I help, how can I be helpful?”
Which was really, “How can I be indispensable?”
Which is really: “Please let me be worth something.”
You know, it was really like that
and to find that I could simply be myself,
and I didn’t have the old ties for what exactly that meant.
But I could simply show up, just as I was,
and was allowed and accepted and befriended and loved.
In a way that, I mean, I’ll tell you, I couldn’t help but love myself.
You know, it’s just a natural progression, and this is the comprehensive
air and perspective of open intelligence, of ourselves as open intelligence.
And, as Chris said, it’s just this natural, easeful, organic,
comprehensive order of reality
that just becomes more and more present,
more and more evident, more and more obvious,
and again, we find that because we’re acting it.
You know, often times un-preconceived, un-thought through,
just this natural movement of benefit.
It is something that I just didn’t even know was possible;
I didn’t even know to want it.
I knew to want “peace” and to want “love” and all that kind of thing,
but to have it on the ground running, in all of life,
in a very comprehensive view and experience, it’s just amazing.
It was the dream I’d always dreamt that I thought I would never get.
That it might happen to other people, but not to me.
Ways that I used to be before,
you know, that wasn’t going to work anymore and that was naturally not happening.
But I still had all kinds of data running about,
“This kid and that kid,” and, “that mum and that dad,”
and you know, “what everybody was doing,” and it was, “all too much,”
and, “what they expected of me,” and all that kind of stuff.
And I simply took about a hundred thousand short moments
again and again and again and it felt really, really bad.
Not the taking the short moments but the whole thing. I could feel it fully.
Probably better than when I would have gone off on this kid,
you know, told them what to do, or told them what to do.
And it’s just like, all the places that I used to blow off the steam
and blow off the discomfort, usually making myself and someone else feel bad.
And you know, this way it was only me feeling bad.
And, I believe, I’m pretty sure that
I either called my trainer at that time, this is like six years ago
or I emailed her, like, a lot.
I was gone like for six days and it was like a lot, and it was just so telling,
I did find that I... you know, in the past I just would’ve done something
to get away from these awful feelings,
at least, the feelings of discomfort.
But I found that I did come back
again and again and again in the open intelligence
that all of these feelings were in; and it is endurable.
And it’s also, right after it’s endurable,
it’s natural that these things arise.
And I have to say that over the years what I’ve found
is that all of those things really have become
really non-issues and that doesn’t mean that they don’t arise.
But now with my kids, the things naturally don’t come out of my mouth.
I am not scared for my kids anymore,
which was how mostly everything was motivated.
But... it took me a while, but I did finally, totally feel
immense gratitude for these very uncomfortable feelings.
Because over time, short moment, after short moment, after short moment,
taking advantage of all the Mainstays of course.
Because, as it turned out there actually was no way out,
there is no back door; there was no going back.
It was like, “Okay, we’re on this road,”
and it’s just amazing to see this stability,
mental and emotional stability and ease
that come to the fore, which really unlocks the full benefit of any data stream.
Because we’re simply not one hundred percent of the time,
solely paying attention to the description,
as you said, there’s what is holding it all, what pervades it all at the same time,
which gives us the total ability and privilege and right, to just simply,
just let that data stream be just as it is.
And, when it gets really, really intense,
just the reliance on the teacher is just the most incredible thing.
And it really does comprehensively work throughout all of our lives.
So, if you feel really uncomfortable,
that is so good, because I know what you have available;
you know, what you have. And I know what the basis of that is,
and I know what the benefit of that is.