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So, it's finally been paid?
Straight from
the Palladium box office.
Mr.
Rock And Roll laid aside
his guitar after the concert
and asked his fans
to join him in a prayer
for your safe return.
- Then why am I still here?
- Sit!
Wh-What are you doing?
Don't! Not here.
In the safe.
Well, I trust you've
had a pleasant stay.
- When do I leave?
- Oh, you'll be gone soon.
My, your boyfriend
must love you a great deal.
How touching.
You have your money!
And that's the good news,
Svetlana.
The ransom's been paid.
The bad news--
The ransom's been paid.
- But you promised!
- I lied.
Time for a walk
in the moonlight.
Make sure she doesn't get lost.
No! Please!
Where'd they go?
It's okay.
It's okay.
Give me your hand.
Come on.
Nobody's gonna hurt you.
There you go.
Come on.
It's okay.
Come on.
Okay.
Okay.
It's okay.
It's okay.
Thanks.
Okay.
Okay.
Local police
have a blockade at one,
three and five miles.
I want these ***.
Count it.
Amanda.
She is immortal.
A thousand years old
and she cannot die.
A creature of legend
like the raven,
a thief who stole the sun
and the moon.
They sent a warrior
to bring her back.
He found her.
Together, they brought back
light to the world.
I was a cop.
To me she was just a thief,
another day on the job.
But she wasn't--
She changed my life,
changed everything.
And both of us knew
from that moment on,
nothing would ever be
the same.
That's very kind,
but it's not necessary.
I've already been paid.
I owe you.
I'm happy she's okay.
Drinks?
Okay.
Next time you're
in Paris.
Bye-bye.
Happy birthday.
- It's not my birthday.
- I know.
It's mine.
I didn't know
you had birthdays.
How else am I
supposed to get presents?
Ahh.
So that makes you
exactly how old?
- Twenty-nine.
- Twenty-nine.
Yeah, give or take.
Look.
a girl who can't
lie about her age has
no imagination whatsoever.
Just came back to
welcome you to Paris.
Mm.
Mm.
And to tell you that
you have two days
of shopping left.
- Uh, what, to get the woman
who has everything?
- Let's see.
Something soulful,
like a diamond.
Or soft, like a diamond.
- Or subtle.
- Like a diamond.
En garde.
Throat, liver,
heart, death.
Only good news.
Name's Bert Myers.
And you're right.
He's in Paris.
What else?
Used to be
with the Stasi,
then he turned.
Now he works as
an independent contractor.
Who's on him?
Duran.
Shall I have him
take care of it?
No.
Remember Carlson?
It took him three days to die.
Myers cost me
half a million pounds.
I want him to know
it's me who's killing him.
Okay.
Hors d'oeuvres.
Foie gras.
Let's not forget artichokes,
champagne, sauterne--
Ooh, Pascal,
can we get some of that
great Ch��teau d'Yquem '53?
Should I order a case?
What, at $500 a bottle?
Order two.
What's the occasion?
I didn't know you
were back in town.
Sit.
Just passing through.
Mm.
An espresso, please.
Can you come to
my birthday party?
I was in England, Amanda.
I know, with Nick.
Are you free on Saturday?
In the Lake District.
It's kind of cold there
right now.
Have you been there?
It's been a long time.
Do you think lobster or steak?
Lobster.
Lobster.
Does Cumbria
mean anything to you?
Home of great poets and nervous
cows, not that there's any
correlation between the two.
Amanda.
What?
Do you know
anyone from up there?
I don't think so.
Oh,
I did know a soccer player from
Windermere once.
Great legs.
Package for Amanda Montrose.
Excuse me.
Amanda--
You're supposed
to be in Geneva.
Hey, Pascal.
What's up?
I got a line on somebody
who might be connected
to our kidnapper.
The birthday deluge begins.
What's the line?
A woman connected to Markham.
Put a couple of
extra guys on it.
You need some help?
I'll let you know.
Charlie Shavers still missing!
Son of ice baron kidnapped!
Read all about it!
Thank you, sir.
Read all about it!
Charlie Shavers kidnapped!
All right.
Thank you, sir.
Thank you very much.
Read all about it!
Irish hooligans suspected!
Strange, you don't
look Irish at all.
That's not funny.
Relax.
I'm not nervous, Derrick.
I just don't like this.
You're a thousand years old,
Amanda.
Isn't it time
you tried something new?
Other than that.
I think we best finish
our business and be off.
Well, it's the one
with the red blanket.
I know.
I wrote the ransom note.
Everything in order?
Mm-hmm.
Shall we?
Police!
Uh!
Hah!
Stop, you!
Ahh! Ah!
Job well done.
Pity they saw you.
I do love you in that hat.
And the cape.
Now, a proper lady
does not walk around,
her nose besmirched
with Manchester grime.
Is that what
a proper lady does?
Anytime she wants.
I'll ride over and free our
young friend.
You go back to
the hotel and wait for me there.
All right.
Ah, one more thing.
A proper lady always
takes care of her finances.
Well, everything's
in tiptop shape, Charlie.
You've been very cooperative,
as has your father.
Oh, don't thank me,
just look the way
I want to remember you.
Just like that.
Lovely.
There it is--
your share and mine.
I've never seen anything
more beautiful.
It's only money.
I wasn't talking
of the money.
Why so glum,
lass?
Come, now.
We trust each other,
don't we?
Then what is it?
You know, I've never minded
opening safes and picking locks,
but this was very different.
How?
This time we held
a human being for ransom.
Where's the harm?
So he sat on a cold floor
for a couple of days.
Probably did the spoiled
little brat some good.
Toughened him up a bit.
His father earned
his fortune from what?
Oh, you know
as well as I.
The largest ice manufacturer
in Britain.
He pays a few pennies
for every hundred gallons
to be piped up from the river
and sells it frozen
for a hundred times that.
Our hearts should bleed
for young Charlie?
I won't do it ever again.
But it was perfect.
Half the country's
out hanging Fenians.
And the police are
more than happy to
pin our little adventure
on those poor
Irish ***.
And we?
Well, we are free and clear.
Almost.
Almost?
Marry me.
I beg your pardon?
Why not?
We care for each other.
Your concerns are
my concerns, and
let's face it.
Even on a bad day,
the lovemaking
is spectacular.
Ah! I'm flattered.
Really, I am, but
when we marry,
it is truly for eternity.
You don't love me.
I fear not enough.
You'll learn.
You see, besides me,
you're the only one who knows
about our little scheme.
- I would never betray you.
- But as my wife,
even if you were caught,
the authorities
would be helpless.
You cannot be compelled
to testify against me.
There must be
some other way.
Actually, there is.
- You wouldn't.
- As fond as I am of
the soft curve of your neck,
I'm more concerned
with my own.
I will take your head.
Always the romantic.
Oh! Well, then.
Mrs.
Derrick Markham it will be.
Anything wrong?
You all right?
Ah, I didn't have breakfast.
I think my blood sugar is low.
I'm gonna get something to eat.
Amanda?
Yeah?
Happy birthday.
Thanks.
Ohh.
All those years ago.
Well.
My long-lost wife.
This is definitely your century.
You never really suited
the whalebone and bustle.
- What do you want?
- Small world.
I came here to kill
a Bert Myers, and I find
an Amanda Markham.
Ahh, yes.
The rock star's
girlfriend.
I should've guessed.
It's so your style.
Remember what
the preacher said?
"Does anyone object
to this union? "
- "Do you, Amanda,
this Immortal wed"--
- I don't think he said that.
- "For richer, for poorer"--
- Definitely didn't
agree to that.
"Till death us do part? "
Holy ground, darling.
Yes, I know.
I saw
the Roman relics on the way in.
Well, since we can't
fight here, why don't
you just toddle on off?
Hm! Still the same Amanda.
It seems to have
worked so far.
You know, I haven't
changed much either.
This past century and a half
has been pretty much
the same old thing.
Really?
Kidnapping and ***?
Bit of a rut, isn't it?
Tell me, Derrick, why did
you save our wedding photo?
I spent 30 years
in an island prison
before I escaped.
- It helped me remember.
- Should I be flattered?
Why not? It was
a once-in-a-lifetime betrayal,
never to be repeated
or forgotten or forgiven.
Oh! Sweetheart, you should try
dropping some of that baggage
you're carrying around.
You'll feel so much better
if you do.
You can't hide
on holy ground forever.
It's only a matter of time.
I'll be waiting.
-
- What do you make of this? Huh?
Souvenir photo.
Carnival stuff.
Dime a dozen.
We'll see.
I'm having
the original analyzed.
I got one of me in Tijuana
on the back of a donkey.
I found it in Markham's safe.
I'm wearing
a sombrero.
Don't let me
show it to you.
It ain't pretty.
There's another one like it
in the package she just got,
right before she ran outta here
with a bad case of the munchies.
Why didn't you bring it to me
before you showed it to her?
'Cause I knew what would happen.
You'd start copping pleas
just like you're doin'.
This isn't her.
Look.
She's the queen of con jobs.
Her and Markham, they're pulling
some scam together.
I'm telling you.
That's what you
think this is?
It's gotta be.
I've seen a couple
of great fakes in my time,
but this one takes
the friggin' cake.
A scam.
Works for me.
Well, it's either that,
or they're 150 years old.
Oh, at least.
Hey! What's goin' on?
Uh, nothing.
I just gotta
go somewhere.
I'm in a hurry.
Slow down a minute.
Myers is asking questions.
About what?
Aboutyou--an old photo
and Derrick Markham.
Really?
So it was Myers who sent it.
Not exactly the response
I was hoping for.
How well do you know this guy?
You know,
it's been a hundred years.
I really-- I can't remember.
Amanda, how well
do you know this guy?
We're related.
Related? How?
By marriage.
Technically, he's my husband.
That's lovely, ma'am.
Becomes you very nicely,
if I do say so meself.
Ah, I think it's perfect.
Would you wrap it for me,
please?
Of course, ma'am.
Thanks.
Oh!
Now I'm done.
I'm a mite nervous this morning.
The police come by,
asking all sorts of questions.
Really.
The police?
Found a hat in the gutter
the other day.
Thought it belonged to
one of them that kidnapped
poor young Charlie Shavers.
Ah, yes.
I think I read about that.
Well, he wasn't exactly poor,
though, was he?
Oh!
I didn't mean by a lack
of a shilling, ma'am.
I'm meaning what
happened to him.
What happened?
Found his body in the dump,
even though the ransom was paid.
Murdered.
Shot, he was.
Shot.
Right through the noggin.
I ask ya--
What kind of a devil
would do something like that,
ma'am?
What evil, devil person
would commit a crime like that?
Ah! The prodigal wife
returns.
Home from a day
of shopping.
The hunt was good,
I trust, my sweet?
There's something I've been
meaning to ask you.
Ask away.
Charlie,
Charlie Shavers--
What exactly did he say to you
when you told him
he was set free?
Excuse me?
Was he grateful?
Did he thank you profusely?
My self-righteous queen.
How do you think you could
afford that new dress?
You're wearing the dead boy
on your back.
Heh! Not so much
the Victorian lady now, are we?
- I'm not a murderer.
-
- That's the man!
He murdered the boy!
- All right.
You can't do this.
We're married.
Read the fine print next time.
I can't be compelled to testify,
but I can damn well volunteer!
Traitorous ***!
- See you in court, darling.
- See you in hell!
Come on! That's enough of that.
Look, he's a guy
who believes in
holding grudges.
Can you beat him?
He's good.
Well, you can't live
on holy ground forever.
All right.
Then I'll just live under the
tunnels in Paris like a mole.
Where will you go?
For how long?
Just think of me
as being in the I.
R.
P.
The what?
Immortal Relocation Program.
And
don't even miss me.
Don't worry.
I will a little.
You know, when I get back,
you'll probably be
a little bit grayer.
It'll be kinda cute.
Markham!
I know you're watching.
Let's get this over with.
Direct confrontation,
Amanda.
- What's come over you?
- Sometimes I surprise
even myself.
Well, why didn't you just
call the police?
I've got news for you.
I'm not the woman you married.
I'd suggest a divorce,
but it's so messy.
I'll just take your head.
So much for the institution
of marriage.
Freeze, Markham!
Or give me a reason.
Is that you, Myers?
I do hope so.
Close.
Now drop it.
Oh, I can see you're one
of Myers's little helpers,
aren't you?
Pity.
I'm unarmed.
Yeah.
We'll see.
Now what?
Myers is expecting you.
Oh.
Send him my regrets!
Amanda!
In the spring, the rose bush
always gives new buds.
They flower, they die,
then other ones come along
to take their place.
But the single tulip bulb,
if properly tended,
will give you
one perfect flower forever.
Now, you plant these.
Then you can come
and help me make lunch.
Immortal lines
of flowers and people,
both privileged
in nature.
She doesn't know
she may live for
a thousand years.
So she shouldn't.
Not yet.
I feel more trapped than
privileged at the moment.
Markham after Myers,
Myers after Markham,
and me in the middle.
Well, there was a time
you would've set sail
for Ethiopia or Patagonia.
Life is more complicated now.
Besides, the world is
a much smaller place.
It's what? Three hours to
New York by Concorde instead of
two months byYankee Clipper.
Time is moving by
very fast.
Well, and for Markham.
You know, he was winning.
If it hadn't been
for some poor ***
who ended up dying,
it would've been me
instead of him.
Are you afraid?
Yeah.
And what's made it
more complicated is Myers
found my old wedding photo.
Mm.
It's driving him crazy
trying to figure it out.
I can see how it would.
What about Nick?
Sticking up for me.
And heading towards a date
with an Immortal sociopath.
I'm afraid if
I meet Markham again,
I'm going to lose.
And if you don't,
your friends'll lose.
So what do I do?
An excellent question.
So--
Well, let me know
what you decide.
Thank you for your help.
The Lord knows I try,
Amanda.
Don't quit your day job.
Come on.
Let's talk to your boss.
For what?
Information.
I don't think so.
What you think
doesn't matter.
Okay, you were right.
Markham's not here.
Sit down.
- Where is he?
- I don't know.
Okay.
I'll sit.
We'll wait.
I've got all the time
in the world.
Hmmph!
What the hell
are you doing here?
What are you doing here?
Just hold that thought.
What?
Burke.
What?
I had him.
He's gone.
You went
behind my back.
Now, don't be paranoid.
Markham is my case.
And mine too!
The guy I had tailing Amanda
was killed last night.
Stabbed.
She had nothing
to do with it.
Oh, really?
Then explain this to me.
Some bromine iodine
photo processing, done only
by a guy named Woolcott
in 1867!
I know it sounds weird.
What the hell is goin' on?
She left town.
Don't get excited.
She's dirty.
I'm tellin' ya.
She's hip-deep with a killer!
What happened to innocent
until proven guilty?
I am gonna find her, and you
better stay out of my way.
That's exactly where I'll be.
What do you mean
by that?
I'm not asking you
to break the sanctity
of your confessional.
I just want to know
if you've seen her.
She came by.
Did she say where she was going?
What makes you think
she's going anywhere?
Of course she's going.
Markham's trying to kill her.
Amanda is good.
Markham's better.
She knows that.
Do you think David ever thought
he was stronger than Goliath?
Right.
The meek will inherit the earth.
The lions will lay down
with the lambs.
None of that is important
because she might lose her head.
- Nick, whatever Amanda
decides to do, she'll do.
- I told her she should leave.
It's the smart thing to do.
But is it
the right thing to do?
That's what she wanted to know
when she came to see me.
You told her she should
leave, though, right?
Liam, you did tell her to leave.
- I told her she should
just follow her heart.
- I thought you were her friend.
Yes, for over 200 years!
Look, Nick, how many times
have you faced death?
That has nothing
to do with this.
Oh, no, no.
Why do you do it?
Why do you take the risk?
It's part of the job.
No, it's not the job.
Not always.
Sometimes, maybe, it's more
than the job.
Sometimes you're
answering to a higher calling.
This has nothing
to do with faith.
I'm not talking about faith.
I'm talking about nobility.
Look-- mortal, Immortal--
there are times in every life
where each of us must rise
to our own nobility.
And maybe after 1,200 years,
Amanda has finally risen
to hers.
Maybe.
You brought him
to my house.
I thought you'd be there.
You're not paid to think.
You could've
taken Wolfe out.
How many angels can dance
on the head of a pin?
And how many idiots can dance
on the tip of a blade?
A twist to the right,
and you're dead.
A twist to the left,
instant lobotomy.
Think you can make a decision
on your own? You tell me.
Left or right.
What's it gonna be?
You're the boss.
Up to you.
That's my boy.
What about Wolfe?
Focus.
Focus.
One thing at a time, eh?
- Who's there?
- Surprise.
I thought you were leaving.
I was leaving,
but now I'm staying.
Huh! You fickle girl.
I choose impulsive.
- Myers'll be thrilled.
-That's nice.
He saw the picture
of you and Markham.
He knows it's real.
- How not nice.
- Mm-hmm.
Better have a good story.
It's gonna be tough,
but right off the top of my head
I would say number 347.
What the hell
are you talking about?
Number 347, the Dead Duke.
It's the oldest scam
in the book.
You con a rich spinster
into believing that
she's the long-lost heir
of the Duke of Humma-humma.
Then you produce a lot of false
documents and touched-up photos
to back up the story,
and pretty soon you have
her power of attorney--
Myers will never buy it.
Look, either I'm running a scam,
or I'm an Immortal.
Which one would you buy?
Number 347, huh?
Yeah.
I can't believe you
actually numbered them.
I have them cataloged
and cross-referenced, darling.
You're scaring me.
Then my job is done.
Why don't we don't we
break it to Myers over dinner?
I don't think
you miss me.
You're buying.
I don't want dinner.
I want answers.
Eat first, talk later.
I tried to get reservations at
Tour d'Argent, but you guys
aren't really dressed for it.
One of my guys is dead.
However, I know this great place
near the Odeon.
It's perfect.
Cut the games, will ya?
What's going on?
Go on.
Tell him.
Where?
Amanda.
Uh.
- Markham!
-
What are you doin'?
-You got him.
He's dead.
- Oh, my God.
You're bleeding.
We gotta get you
to the hospital.
You gotta call it in.
No, we gotta get you some help.
I'll be fine.
We can't just
leave him there.
I don't believe it.
I don't freakin' believe it.
Hedging your bets?
Couldn't hurt, I guess.
How is Myers?
He's doing better.
The bullet
lodged next to his spine, so it
was touch and go for a while.
Maybe you could
say a little prayer?
Oh, it couldn't hurt, I guess.
There's something else.
You feel responsible.
Uh, it's not really
a question of responsibility--
it's sort of worse.
Myers saw Markham dead
one minute, then jumping
into a car the next.
That's an interesting dilemma
you have yourself.
Yeah, it's fascinating.
The way I see it,
I have three options.
I could lie to him.
Well, much as it's
served you in the past,
I don't think deceit
would work for you now.
Darn.
That was my favorite one.
Well, you see,
lies mean more questions.
Questions mean answers.
Right.
I guess
I could kill him.
I don't think
you want to do that.
I don't think so.
And the third?
Maybe I'm not as good
a shot as you think.
No, no, no, no.
I keep running it
in my head.
You put two bullets
into the guy.
All right.
One might've got him in
the shoulder, but the other one
went straight through the heart.
I think you give me
too much credit.
I've seen men die, Nick.
Once you plug 'em through the
heart, they fall like a redwood,
just like Markham did.
You lost a lot of blood.
It affected your brain.
I know what I saw,
all right?
Hello! Hi.
How's the patient.
Still looking for
a straight answer.
As curious as usual.
Ah.
That photo of you and Markham--
It's the real thing, isn't it?
Shouldn't you be
resting quietly?
Just tell me.
How'd you do it?
Who's the mark?
Go on.
Tell him.
And how did a dead man
get up and walk away again?
Number 347, remember?
All right, Myers--
Stop right here.
- I haven't even started.
- The truth for a change.
Hmm?
That's why I'm here.
Okay.
I had my first death
during an outbreak of the plague
in the ninth century.
If you're gonna do the math,
that makes me old.
Like, over a thousand years old.
I'll give you a few highlights
of my illustrious life.
with Richard the Lionheart
before he left on the Crusades.
I met Petrarch's Laura in 1327.
She asked me to be godmother to
one of her 11 adorable children.
Oh, yeah.
Wolfgang Mozart? He
dropped me for hisConcerto
in "C" Sharpabout 1727.
I thought the man's music
was divine, but our relationship
was flat as a Goodyear tire.
Oh, I also knew
Charles Goodyear.
But I digress.
You know,
I'm gonna cut to the chase here.
Myers, I'm immortal.
And so is Markham.
And the only way I can die
is if I lose my head, literally.
I guess that says it all.
Hmm! At least
you're feeling better.
Well--
She's good, isn't she?
The best.
"Do the math.
I'm over a thousand years old.
"
Okay.
Oh.
Sorry.
Here.
Here you go.
See, they took a bullet
out of my shoulder,
not my brain, okay?
- I know.
-
You mind telling me what
you were doing back there?
I'm fed up.
And risk everything
by confessing to Myers?
The only thing that's
at risk is his life.
Him going after Markham--
It's like playing with fire
without him knowing.
Did you see him up
in that hospital? He was
all propped up and vulnerable.
He didn't believe you.
What?
No.
But he thinks you're
the greatest liar he's ever met,
if that's any conciliation.
- Ungrateful little weasel.
-
Could Papa Bear
be far behind? Hmm.
Let's go this way.
I think this is my dance.
We'll find another way.
No.
It's my husband,
my problem, my fight.
I'll handle
the interference.
Hang around.
Honey, I'm home.
Sorry, darling.
I burned the pot roast.
Did you miss me?
Well, I suppose all marriages
are like this.
You resent each other;
then you cut your wife's
head off at the neck.
This relationship
is going nowhere fast.
I'll just take your head.
Call it irreconcilable
differences.
I'm your husband!
I want a divorce.
No!
So I don't have to worry
about Markham anymore.
Is that what you're saying?
That's right.
Let me guess.
Markham was immortal,
and you decapitated him
with a sword.
Correct?
Exactly.
I love that story.
Problem is, the joke's over,
and I'm still not laughing.
Better get a sense of humor,
'cause she's not
gonna change it.
At least tell me how
you forged that picture.
Even my lab boys were impressed.
Oh, I am so tired of this.
Nick, would you please
take him shopping?
Shopping?
Yeah.
Cartier closes in one hour.
If you leave right now,
you can get there in time.
Remember, boys,
size does matter.
We better go.
She might throw a tantrum.
We'll skip it for now.
- How old is she?
- Let's just say
she's somewhere between
baby boomer and Jurassic.
A girl can have
some secrets.
Ah!
Got your gold card?
Yes.
Closed-Captioned By