Tip:
Highlight text to annotate it
X
[music]
My son Palasin has been
in the spirit world for fifteen years now.
In the beginning I was broken hearted.
They had a healing sweat for me
because I really, I really was
in bad shape after he died. And in that sweat,
his spirit came and he said, "Ma, I didn't do that on purpose."
He was in his lane so he went this way, and the guy corrected
and they hit. And the other guy was drunk.
I believe that but I still struggle
that it was suicide.
So even if it ended up being some accident,
he felt very upset.
And he said "I'm just going to end up in prison the rest of my life."
And that's how down he was on himself.
What happened after he died was they immediately went into motion
and started talking circles with our kids so that nobody would follow him.
And all of a sudden sweat lodges were appearing and lodges.
Because of his death the culture came back.
I guess he was sent here for fifteen years
for that reason.
So everything I do is pretty much dedicated in memory of my son.
We are starting over
in this community. We have had no clan mothers
for many years; no identified. I am Molly Miller
I am an elder and helper in my community
and I have been named a clan mother.
In this way by declaring that
clan mother, that now other clients will step forward
and will appoint their own clan mothers because we have to start over.
It's been recognized for many years now that
the boarding school experience had a major impact on our people.
You know, taking the Indian out of them, or attempting to.
We had that early historical trauma. We try real hard to hang on to
that community feeling, but those things that happened a long time ago
there's a pain in you,
and there's a hurt, and there's a anger
and you know people will say "Well that happened a long time ago, so why do you still hang on to it?"
But that's what we mean by historical trauma.
it's still in there.
[music]
I know the kids are watching us adults
and what we do. I want them to have a better example
So I'm trying to be that for them. I don't always like to dance,
but we know that those kids are watching.
"So the rule here is a circle is sacred.
Who you see here, what you hear here, when you leave here, let it stay here."
Right now we've started a women's group.
We're a matrilineal society and it is
the elders' women's responsibility
to take care of our community.
We're talking about just grassroots what can we do to make this community better.
My granddaughter came to me and said
one of the kids she goes to school with said she's just
feeling so down and she's feeling suicidal. "Gramma can we have a talking circle."
"Yes we can."
It's a tough transition to realize you are an elder. It's not about age.
It's not because you're 65 you're an elder now and deserve respect.
Respect goes both ways.
So we have a responsibility back to those young people.
You know I'm still trying to find out my purpose in life.
But I live as a native grandmother, a teacher of the language,
a teacher of history. I'm a community helper.
Healer in the mind and heart.
[music]