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COMM: Many of us have resisted growing up,
but Helen Gillespie took her desire to stay young to extreme levels.
The thirty-year-old was so scared of getting
older, she starved herself for twenty years in a bid to remain childlike.
Helen: I suppose I just didn't want to grow
up, it just scared me a lot.
COMM: But today, she's finally on the slow
road to recovery.
Helen: I'm very scared of everything, but
I think I can try and aim for a better quality of life and that's as far as I feel I can
manage and who knows what the future holds?
COMM: Helen, from Perth, Scotland, was just
ten years old when she began cutting back on food.
Helen: I did go through a period of about
a fortnight when I stopped eating all together. I stopped drinking for part of that time as
well.
For long spells I've lived off of about 60
calories a day, which is the equivalent of a piece of fruit.
COMM: By the time she was fifteen years old,
she weighed just four and a half stone and was rushed to hospital.
Helen: I was given just hours to live. I didn't
care about myself, didn't care about my life. I cared about my family, but I didn't really
believe that anyone would miss me if I was to die.
COMM: As a result of extreme under-eating,
Helen's body almost skipped puberty all together.
Helen: I have prosthesis that I wear because
the damage that I did to myself at a young age means that I wouldn't develop.
They're specially made for people that have
lost their *** through surgery, and in my case, not having them at all.
COMM: Unlike her piers, she has never had
a boyfriend and has found it hard to move out of the family home.
Dad: She lost all of her teenage years. She
had great problems making friends. That whole social aspect of her life was really lost,
so it's only as an adult now that she's trying to build some blocks in her life again.
COMM: But Helen is now seeking help in a bid
to turn her life around.
Helen: I'm not about to go and see a therapist
for eating disorders and I'm quite looking forward to seeing her.
Therapist: The biggest challenge is finding
the right help. It's also acknowledging that there is a problem and they're being very
brace and courageous.
COMM: Helen now weighs six stone and has up'd
her calorie intake to 1,200 per day and hopes to increase her weight further.
Helen: There are a lot of things that I have
to work on, a lot of fears that I have that if I don't overcome them then the anorexia
will remain a big part of my life
COMM: And Helen finds support through friend,
Amy.
It will be a slow process, but Helen has plenty
of people to help her along the way.
Dad: We'll always be there to support her.
As long as we're on this earth, then we'll be there for her.
Amy: No need to go down, sad. Be happy
Helen: Be happy. Don't worry, be happy.
Amy: We'll get there. Get there in the end.
It will just take time to gradually... to get there eventually.