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RACHAEL: Previously on "Celebrity Cook-Off"...
For your very first cook-off challenge,
each team will have to create a medieval feast.
Aah!
[ British accent ] They did not have clocks in medieval time!
I got to get it done!
I got to be fast.
Damn it!
Die, you peasant!
Bravo!
The winning team for today has to go to Team Guy.
And today's MVP goes to Miss Tiffany.
Oh, my gosh.
I really don't think you should send anybody home.
What?
-- Captions by VITAC --
Closed Captions provided by Scripps Networks, LLC.
Well, I survived the first week, and I'm thrilled that I was MVP.
I'm thrilled my team won.
I've got some money for my charity.
Tiffany is on a big high after winning MVP last week.
Could do the MVP dance right now.
Tiffany -- She's good at what she does
but not a great dancer.
I'm gonna have to show you the MVP dance.
Uh-oh.
Whoa!
Let's...
But don't do that,
because that means that you're winning all the time.
I would like to win one MVP.
Ohh, I don't know if I'm gonna give my title away so easy.
I like you a lot.
I hate to lose.
How's this gonna go down?
I came here to win.
We're on like Donkey Kong, so get ready.
[ Drum roll ]
[ Hawaiian music plays ]
RACHAEL: Nicely done, ladies.
Looking good.
[ Chuckles ]
FLORENCE: We walk into this restaurant. It's really kind of fun.
We did that on "The Brady Bunch."
It took me back to "The Brady Bunch"
when we filmed in Hawaii.
Penn -- He was pretty good at that.
I think he's worn a grass skirt before.
Welcome, everybody.
This is the new Lee's Hawaiian Islander
here in beautiful Lyndhurst, New Jersey.
Guys, is this place not great?
Wow.
[ Laughter ]
So, today's challenge is for each team
to produce a luau...
for 50 people.
That's a lot of food. Or is it a lot of food?
I don't actually know how much food that is.
Now, what that means is that each team
will be responsible for four hors d'oeuvres.
Each team member must produce 50 bites of food
within a 90-minute cook time.
You will also be responsible for serving it.
GUY: Also, together as a team,
you are going to make a team cocktail.
Our guest judge is gonna be Marc Murphy.
He has a couple of great restaurants.
He's also a really great chef,
and he's really looking forward to trying all of your food
and coming to a luau.
Chef Murphy's going to take the guest comments,
Rachel's and my comments,
but ultimately, he is going to be the sole judge
that's going to determine
the winning team and the losing team,
the MVP, and who will be going home.
Let's go do the menu planning.
You already have a pork on the plate.
Let me just start by saying
we have to make sure each dish is not only really strong
but something that will appeal to the masses.
Last week, I created a dish that was an acquired taste.
Eggplant is not something everyone
goes to the supermarket and buys.
This week, my mission is to make something
that everyone is gonna like,
and I'm thinking, "Who doesn't love an egg roll?"
I think egg rolls would be awesome.
My thought was, you take ground pork, brown it,
chop up some shrimp.
I've never cooked pork or shrimp
because I am kosher.
Nervous here.
You know what? You're gonna try something new.
That's what this game is all about.
Right. Judy's non-kosher egg rolls.
[ Laughter ]
We have to do four appetizers, one drink.
Tiffany, let's talk about you.
I'm making an ahi tuna taco.
Okay.
I'm excited about my dish.
It's something that you think of when you're in Hawaii.
Chris, what kind of protein do you like?
That's a really good start.
CHRIS: So, I decided to cook pork butt,
which is in... not in the butt, I don't think,
but it's called pork butt, which is probably
not very flattering to that part of the pig.
GUY: Chris, I want to just make sure that you are ready
Yeah, I am.
This is the big hitter.
If you cut it too small, and you cut some too big,
then you'll have raw pork, and you'll have overcooked pork.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
I know a little bit about Thai food,
and there's a curry chicken with a coconut-milk marinade.
I was thinking of maybe a little peanut in there.
I like peanuts because if people are allergic,
then they get anaphylactic shock,
and it'll help distract them.
That's a great idea. Hilarious.
[ Laughs ]
It'll kill you.
RACHAEL: And you're doing?
How about royal Hawaiian ribs?
I love that.
I have a plan going into this week's competition.
Jake, maybe you could do something
with pork tonkatsu, or little cutlets,
Japanese-style, like, little cutlets.
You could take a pork tenderloin, cut them into medallions.
Part of my strategy is for people to underestimate me.
That doesn't sound very hard.
Well, it's just a little labor-intensive.
So, I'm the quiet one.
I don't say a lot. I listen a lot.
And then go kooky with your bread crumbs.
I would put in a lot of citrus zest, lime or lemon or both.
Watch out for the quiet guy in the corner.
You never see the sleeper coming.
GUY: All right, Herschel?
I got a chicken-lettuce cup.
Oh, like a wrap.
Phenomenal. Okay.
We need to do a dessert.
I'm up for the challenge.
We got to bring the sweet tooth to everybody.
So, when you got a name like Vanilla Ice,
the dessert has got to be right, and it's got to be tight.
Pineapple pound cake.
I got to, you know, step it up.
My dessert's gonna be real sweet for a Polynesian treat.
GUY: As soon as I think Hawaii, as soon as I think Polyn--
as soon as I think luau, I think mai tai.
Mai tai?
Got to drink the mai tai. Got to make that.
So, we're gonna have some fresh pineapple.
TIFFANY: Well, Guy is going over all of our menu planning,
and I look over at Chris, and he is, like...
[ Snores ]
which is a little alarming.
You with me?
[ Echoing ] You with me?
[ Hawaiian music plays ]
CHRIS: All of a sudden, I go into a daydream or something.
One part pineapple,
one part orange juice, one part mango.
TIFFANY: We need our game faces on today.
You with me?
He needs to wake up.
Can we get some coffee or something?
Ow.
Aah!
HERSCHEL: [ Chuckles ]
JUDY: So, we decide, for our team cocktail --
I know this is shocking --
we're gonna do our take on a [Singsong voice] mai tai.
You guys do what you're comfortable with --
It seems like you should do the bar thing.
I'm not a bartender. I barely drink.
I have no clue what's in a mai tai,
much less a Polynesian mai tai.
Or is a mai tai Polynesian?
You just be friendly tell a lot of jokes,
set a couple of people on fire.
Take your shirt off. Take your shirt off.
[ Laughter ]
Awesome.
If I looked like Jake,
you would be fighting to put clothes on me ever.
And you also look like a bartender.
I'm just a pretty face.
GUY: Here's the deal, guys.
We have 90 minutes.
Let's work together.
All right. Let's get cooking.
Good luck.
Yes! Let's do this guys.
TIFFANY: So, we're each responsible for one hors d'oeuvre,
and we have to pull this off in 90 minutes.
All right, guys, how you feeling?
So, today I'm making ahi tuna tacos.
It has a sweet soy sauce, sambal, which is a chili paste,
hoisin sauce, and raw ahi tuna.
It is a lot of cutting of fish, actually.
It's got to be pretty precise,
because Hawaiian food is a lot about the presentation.
It's hard.
I'm going to have to go back through
and cut some of these pieces.
I definitely have a lot to draw from
when it comes to luaus.
I was a Hawaiian dancer.
I started at the age of 2,
and I was dancing professionally in a company,
and my teacher was really from the Hawaiian Islands,
and I'm trying to really pull from that,
because I was a little girl at the time,
but I remember having some great food.
CHRIS: Oh, my God.
Okay, so, those cubes were like that, right?
So, today, I'm making a fried pork butt
marinated in soy sauce,
diced garlic and diced ginger,
and a few other, you know, secrets of magical love.
I call it Volcano Swine,
because it's fried pork butt, goes on top of some rice.
I don't know how I'm gonna possibly
cut all this and get to cook it, also.
That's impossible.
I'm never gonna need to fry something this big in my life.
I don't have that much oil in my house.
Oh, no.
Chris is responsible for pretty much
one of the main components in our hors d'oeuvres.
All right, Chris. Check it. Don't wreck it.
CHRIS: What am I gonna check about it?
[ Chuckles ]
I don't know.
Let me check this. Whoops. I wrecked it.
So, you know, my heart is going like this right now.
All right, remember,
you're carrying the weight of this meal.
You need four times that amount of meat.
Well, that's why I kept going, "Hey --"
Keep cutting. Keep cutting.
And I want you to get a little soy sauce --
It's over there.
Okay, okay, I'll go get it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm a small person. I don't chop big things.
Give it to Herschel, the big bear.
I'm a little gazelle.
No.
As soon as you get done with this,
you got to get that rice on.
I got a ways to go.
I'm so stressed out.
There's no way I'm finishing on time.
I need help.
Ow!
You all right?
GUY: Coming up...
[ Grunts ]
VANILLA ICE: Chris, don't burn yourself.
Chris needs help!
Herschel, now!
RACHAEL: And later...
Who is claiming responsibility for this?
It's your work.
You got to take responsibility here.
But I have come to a decision.
Who will be going home?
I'm nervous.
How am I gonna get this all done?
Uh...
I think what happened -- We may have started out wrong.
We should have helped you.
I know I need help.
Yeah.
But thank God Tiffany's there.
She's, like, just the mother.
You know, Tiffany looks like she would breast-feed me.
Let me get you a bigger pan.
This is fine. I'm throwing it on anyway.
I'm an improvisor,
just like on "Saturday Night Live."
I'm just trying to keep it simple and not complicated,
just like the dishes that my mom made.
One of the great things about my mom --
We didn't have a lot of money,
so she would take the most simple dishes
and make them the absolute best-tasting they could be.
Just simple and always so good.
PENN: Got to put some funk in.
Take out some of the pretty. Put in some funk.
That's what you always got to do when cooking.
I was taught by a great Thai chef in Vegas
to make a traditional Thai curry
with some coconut milk, fish sauce,
the curry, the tamarind, the lime,
and hoisin-peanut sauce.
And it should be a beautiful thing.
What I'm gonna do is something pretty nutty.
I will try to make my chicken curry
work in a Hawaiian context.
Thank you. I'll probably need another one.
The cheat is, you put pineapple on.
That's a pretty thing, isn't it?
Yes.
It's getting hot in the kitchen.
Pineapple Ice Cake going in.
Set it and forget it.
I can't believe I'm cooking for 50 people.
That's pressure.
But I'm not gonna let it, you know, interfere
with what I got to do.
Do it right. Get it tight.
So, I'm using the same skills as I use in construction
or when I rap, you know?
I'm trying to really get in the game and stay focused.
I'm ridiculous meticulous.
[ Food processor pulsing ]
[ Beatboxing ]
[ Rapping ] ♪ I'm a Renaissance man ♪
♪ and I'm slicing and dicing the wax ♪
♪ Call me the hatchet man ♪
♪ I cut this pineapple like suicide of the hand ♪
♪ I tag and bag those who couldn't hang ♪
♪ They wasn't smart enough to leave when they had the chance ♪
♪ Better duck when I enter my clip ♪
♪ 'cause I'm about to serve some dessert ♪
♪ with some whipped cream on it ♪
I got to tell you, you got to give yourself
more credit in the kitchen, dude.
You're doing a great job.
Yeah. Perfect.
[ Chuckling ] This is awesome.
Look at that.
I made whipped cream.
So, I'm tasting each individual ingredient...
We can skip it if you want.
...and they are money.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5...
10, 20, 30.
JAKE: I'm making a tonkatsu,
which is a pork tenderloin lightly fried.
Sounds good to me.
You can't go wrong with fried food.
I'm not gonna make this dish just the average pork cutlet.
That's too boring.
It needs something that makes it Polynesian,
and I'm thinking using macadamia nuts.
That's quick.
You put them in with your bread crumbs,
roll the tenderloin, and then put it in a deep fryer.
[ Food processor pulsing ]
That doesn't sound right.
Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam. It's gonna be fast.
And I want to impress Rachael
because I'm gonna try to cook my way into Rachael Ray's heart.
They are great.
That stuff just nails it.
That's my secret weapon to win this thing.
Whoa. That's a lot of ribs.
Oh, God.
So, Florence chooses to do ribs.
You have a broken foot, babe.
FLORENCE: Ouch.
I think they'll all fit.
I'm making Flo's Royal Hawaiian Ribs
with my Hawaiian-style barbecue sauce.
I'm a great believer in shortcut cooking.
So, I'm thinking I can parboil them in my stock
with some carrots, onions, and vinegar.
The trick is to boil them
so that they should just be a little tender
so that the rest of it can happen on the grill.
I'm excited to see how it comes out.
20 minutes left!
Tiffany, check my pineapples next to you.
[ Groans ]
We got one stove?
This kitchen is a lot like a snow globe.
It's just shaken up.
Watch your back. Hot! Hot! Hot!
Everybody's running everywhere.
It's a mess.
Sorry, Tiff, Tiff, Tiff.
Sorry!
Time's running out,
but I still have to deep fry those pork cubes.
Oy vey.
I think I can cook this now.
[ Grunts ]
So, I'm just pulling --
There's no instruction that says,
"Please pull basket this way."
How do you get this out? How do you...
[ Grunts ]
And again, my wrists -- I'm very dainty.
I'm very delicate.
Hey, Herschel, somebody, Chris needs help!
Herschel, we need you!
And the next thing I know is, I look over,
and Chris is about to stick his hand into the grease.
Herschel! Somebody!
CHRIS: Herschel, now!
I don't know.
I got it. I got it.
Watch out. Chris almost blew us up.
And I think Chris may be in a little trouble right now,
probably because he was sleeping.
Jesus!
"Mango dead, New Jersey."
Oh, Chris.
"In other news..."
Chris, where's that rice?
What?
"Let's turn up the heat in the kitchen,
"while he struggles to get the basket off.
He hasn't even gotten to the frying part, yet."
[ Laughs ]
Rice cooker now!
GUY: Coming up...
You got to move, buddy.
Excuse me!
JAKE: There are literally too many cooks in the kitchen.
Aah! This mango's no good.
Don't worry. It'll work out.
Wow!
I'm not very familiar with shrimp.
I have never cooked it before.
♪ Because I grew up in a kosher home ♪
This week, I'm making Judy's Unkosher Egg Rolls.
I feel stressed and hot and unkosher.
And I'm gonna make it with pork and shrimp,
both of which I've never cooked before.
What color is pork when it's brown?
I'm Jewish. I've never made pork before.
What is wrong with me?
Excuse me!
Rachael, did I chop enough?
I know I have to make 50 egg rolls,
but I don't know how much filling to put in.
I don't know how much I'm gonna have leftover.
Okay.
I want to be certain that I have this down,
because the guest judge is Marc Murphy.
He is a "Chopped" judge.
I don't know if I mentioned I was on "Chopped."
I was eliminated because of my presentation.
Rachael. It came apart, Rachael.
So now you know you need to go --
Okay.
Now I'm really paranoid that I am gonna get eliminated
because my egg rolls look like crap.
Can I get a pastry brush?
Ugh! I can't take it.
I really need to tighten this up.
Ugh.
♪ Ooh-ooh-hoo, ooh ♪
FLORENCE: I thought cooking for six children
on "The Brady Bunch," that was tough enough.
Where's Alice when you need her?
Look at this.
Cooking for 50 people -- Are you kidding me?
I am not really a grill person,
and these ribs are so heavy,
but luckily I seem to know when to turn them.
All the time, I'm checking. I'm switching the ribs around.
Plus, I have my sauce.
It's brown sugar, soy sauce,
pineapple, and some fresh ginger. Mmm.
Honestly, I'm creating miracles here.
I am now the grill master.
They're looking good. I can tell you that.
Last week, I did dessert, real sweet and delicate.
This week, I'm a cowboy. I'm tough.
I got chicken, got a lettuce cup.
It's gonna be hearty.
Chicken is my thing,
but right now I'm on a very unfamiliar oven.
The chicken has been in the oven for 30 minutes.
I slice my chicken, and --
ugh -- it's not -- ugh -- not even quite done yet.
No, I don't think they're ready. What do you think?
I can't screw this up because chicken is what I do.
I run the largest minority-owned chicken company
in the United States.
Getting into the food business was very tough.
People don't' think football players can think.
They don't think football players are that intelligent,
but, you know, I worked 24 hours a day
building a company by myself.
You got to move, buddy.
The pressure is on right now,
but I'm known as Herschel "the Pressure" Walker.
You got to think quick on your feet,
sort of like you got to be able to adjust in football.
The coach may call the play to go to the right,
but it's not working to the right,
you take it back to the left.
So, I'm thinking, "How can I do that?"
Oh, Herschel got an idea.
Put them in a wok.
And them I'm thinking,
"I'm gonna put peanuts on top of it
to help the texture."
Man, I got this.
Stressed. Stressed.
Ooh, that's hot, brother.
You're gonna burn yourself, man.
PENN: I'm a fire-eater.
Oh, that's right. [ Laughs ]
I have done probably 10,000 shows with Penn and Teller.
Wow.
That's what I do. Part of my job.
When people come to our show, I want them to say, "Wow!
Penn and Teller do the best magic the world's ever seen."
And I will try to do that with cooking.
Boy, that looks like enough, doesn't it?
I think you can even go again in half.
Like, it's gonna be hard to skewer this,
and you might even want to just throw it
on the grill for a minute to get a little mark on it.
I'm a little worried
because Rachael is telling me I should grill the chicken
with the pineapple on a skewer,
but I'd prefer the chicken cooked in a saucepan.
So, I, crazily, am gonna ignore Rachael,
and I hope to cover that up with sauce and a smile.
HERSCHEL: Eight minutes left.
No. That's not right.
Good luck, guys. Stay focused.
You're in the home stretch.
Excuse me!
Tiff, how long are these being cooked for?
Nine minutes he said?
TIFFANY: What's wrong, babe?
Oh, my God, I need help.
So, Chris is asking me a million questions about his dish,
and I am so overwhelmed right now.
[ Chuckles ]
Chris is a mess, trying to do that over there.
I'm not a mess.
I can't help you right now with this dish.
I am frying some won tons.
This is very tedious, what I'm doing,
'cause they have to look like a taco.
I have got to get this right.
This is what I'm stuffing my ahi tuna in.
I can't mess these up.
Look out. Look out. Look out.
Sorry, Chris.
Bring it here, behind me.
The pressure is definitely on,
and I have 50 cutlets that I need to fry.
Sorry.
No.
I did not know that, Tiffany.
Jake has got my fryer now.
He's in my space.
That so can't happen.
You're cute, but you have to move.
Oh, this is gonna be a nightmare, huh?
There's a little bit of a pileup at the fryer.
Tiffany's doing these little taco shells,
Judy's frying her egg rolls,
and I have 50 cutlets that I need to fry.
We're out of space.
Do you need to get in here?
Getting ready to have to get in there.
I know it completely breaks man code,
but I don't have time to worry about man-code crap.
Right behind you. Right behind you.
There are literally too many cooks in the kitchen.
This is just not working out over here.
GUY: Coming up...
It's packed out there! We got to go!
Aah!
I'm feeling a little insecure.
Wow!
VANILLA ICE: It's pressure, man.
What about the cocktails?
Okay, how about the drinks?
JAKE: The ginger mai tai's falling on my shoulders.
I'm not a mixologist.
Crap.
I need rum. I can't find rum.
How did this happen?
I am losing my mind.
I need a measuring cup.
Come on!
[ Grunts ]
Jake, don't overthink it. Just do it.
All right.
How much is that? How much is this?
How many ounces is that?
FLORENCE: I just decide to take a swig.
I mean, I go, "Geez.
Give me something. Calm me down."
Need ice! Need ice! Need ice!
[ Record scratches ]
This is just not coming together the way I pictured it.
[ Sighs ]
RACHAEL: Coming up on five minutes, guys.
Hurry. Hurry, hurry, hurry.
Stuff it in.
So, time's running out, but I can't believe it.
You know, I think it pulled it off.
What is this supposed to look like? Charcoal?
And it tastes really good.
I think I'm done.
Chris is in charge of the cocktails,
and our time on the clock is ticking away.
So, I got to get the mai tai going.
I get all the ingredients --
pineapple juice, creme de coconut,
rum, tanning lotion --
everything that's supposed to go in this mai tai thing.
TIFFANY: How you doing with that drink, Chris?
Why is it green?
CHRIS: I don't know why.
CHRIS: 'Cause it's supposed to be white.
But it doesn't look like that.
Aah!
Abbondanza!
One minute till the party starts, baby!
Which one you want, Ice?
Ice?
Whichever one looks the best. Just pick it.
Chris knows.
Hello, hello, hello.
Marc, buddy. Mwah.
Chef, thank you.
Oh. Oh, my God!
It's packed out there! We got to go!
All: 5...4...3...2...1.
Hands up!
HERSCHEL: Everybody, freeze!
Put your hands up!
Time is up right now.
The game is about to start.
Getting ready to come out of the tunnel.
I'm real excited.
You're not sure what's about to happen.
Vanilla Ice with the sweetness.
Party time, baby.
Grab some of that right there.
How you guys doing over here?
You're welcome. Enjoy.
My kids are gonna freak out
that I had dessert made by Vanilla Ice.
[ Chuckles ]
WOMAN: We were just talking about
how much we love Chris Kattan.
I loved him on "Saturday Night Live."
MAN: To top it all off, Herschel.
Come on. Heisman Trophy. Come on.
Hi, guys.
I actually did waitress when I was in college,
and here's my opportunity to actually have
a one-on-one with the audience and win them over.
They're taking my egg rolls! Yes!
'Cause nothing wins people over like laughter.
What do you think about the egg roll?
Tasty.
You want any more?
You want to dance?
I need the positive reinforcement,
because I'm feeling a little insecure
presenting food to the "Chopped" judge.
I am serving Judy's Unkosher Moo Shu Egg Rolls,
and when I say Judy,
I mean J-e-w-d-y.
[ Chuckles ]
Oh.
Thank you, and shabbat shalom.
Take care.
I think it was good. She seasoned it.
You know, what I really didn't like about this dish, though,
was the actual dough.
Do you think she put an extra layer on there?
No, it was only one wrapper each.
I think she's got very little filling
'cause she was nervous she might run out of time.
A great job for a first-time effort.
I'd eat another six of those.
Okay, here we go.
Ooh, look at those ribs.
Hi.
These are my Royal Hawaiian Ribs.
Watch these two.
[ Chuckles ]
Is that shirt she's wearing from "The Brady Bunch"?
[ Chuckles ]
Mmm.
The ribs, they are, you know, they're tender.
The sauce and the grilling, to me, was --
I thought it was great.
The char on it is perfect.
That's the key.
We did.
Did you? Oh, I'm so happy.
[ Chuckles ]
Hey.
Well, hello, there. How are you?
RACHAEL: Wow. That is stunning.
Pork cutlets?
Wow.
Breaded in macadamia nuts, sesame seed,
a little bit of olive oil, egg, and milk.
Thank you, buddy.
Absolutely.
MARC: Cheers.
I enjoyed it. It was a little dry.
I do have to say, really good credit to him for this breading,
because I do like the macadamia nut in the breading.
I thought that was a good idea.
I wish that there was more citrus in it, for me.
Like, if he had put a little squeeze of it.
I think they're delicious. They're cute.
Jake's pork, in the middle, was a little dry for me,
so I didn't love it as much.
It worked in my world. I liked it.
Wow!
Here comes the treat of your life.
This is "Thai It, You'll Like It"
Pineapple-Chicken Curry.
And I had to cheat a little bit,
because this is more Thai than it is Hawaiian,
so I added some pineapple there to make it really groovy.
This is chicken you're gonna think was born in the sauce.
That's how good it is.
Thank you so much.
I love this sauce. I love the way he marinated it.
Unfortunately, for me,
the pineapple took over a little too much for me.
I liked that he grilled the pineapple.
I wish he would have grilled the whole thing.
That's what I suggested to him,
was to marinate it and grill it all.
If he would have grilled that chicken,
just put a little char to it,
I would put it in a restaurant.
The sauce was really good.
The sauce should have been bottled.
Yeah, I thought the sauce was awesome.
Here we go.
If you can't win a lady over with a rose,
try mai tai.
This is a ginger mai tai,
something just a little bit different, you know?
I'm a very inexperienced bartender,
but I'm gonna mask it.
I'm just gonna flirt, talk.
Do you have a boyfriend?
[ Laughter ]
I know I'm gonna score with mai tais.
Bring some mai tais.
How are you? Thank you.
This is a ginger mai tai.
Light and dark rum, coconut liqueur,
and mixed it with a little bit of ginger.
It's beautiful. Thank you.
Served it on ice.
Not too sweet and not too alcoholic, in the face.
The drink...
...is the bomb.
I think I'm gonna be able to help the team out a lot
behind bar.
I know roses don't work, but do mai tais?
Yes. [ Chuckles ]
[ Laughs ]
GUY: Coming up...
Six mai tai, bartender.
A little overdone there.
What do you put in a mai tai?
I don't know anymore!
[ Hawaiian music playing ]
Come on, man. There's people to serve.
We got hungry taste buds out there.
Aloha.
VANILLA ICE: This is my first time to ever go out there as a waiter,
and I kind of enjoyed it, 'cause I get to really
kind of interact with the people.
How's everybody doing out here?
Whoo!
Grab one of them. Grab one of them right there.
Oh, yeah. Get in where you fit in.
And I want to see if they really like our dishes or not.
Oh, I love this, man. The people are eating it.
They love it.
And the sweetness -- [ Howls ]
The only way we're gonna please this crowd
is right through their taste buds.
Hey, hey.
Wow. Nicely done, sir.
Bon appé***.
That right there is the Vanilla Ice special dessert.
I made it specially for you.
Enjoy, brother.
This is rough for me because it was very sweet.
But he's very sweet.
GUY: The pound cake and the compote --
that was spot-on.
Unfortunately, the whipped cream blew it.
I'm very impressed with the skill level that went into this.
He just got enthusiastic, I think.
Took it a tiny bit too far.
MAN: Um, whoever Vanilla Ice's team is on,
I think they're taking it.
That Ice Cake really, really beat anything that we tasted.
I heard there's arsenic in that Vanilla pineapple cake thing.
Yeah. Enjoy.
HERSCHEL: Hey, guys.
They want me to bring more of this.
One thing I'm nervous about
is that the texture was a little off on my chicken.
I'm sprinkling it with peanuts.
And I just sprinkle my little peanuts on top,
let those -- that little Herschel,
little Georgia magic on them.
I hope they like it.
My peanuts might have just saved the day for me.
How you doing?
I'm doing well. How are you doing?
That looks beautiful. What is that?
That there is a chicken-lettuce cup
with chicken, a little garlic, onions, carrots.
Thank you, Herschel.
MARC: This is good.
The heat on the side. You could bring it in.
The cilantro's perfect in this dish.
RACHAEL: This is delicious. I love that he added peanuts.
GUY: There were some trials and tribulations back there.
But I'll just tell you, just, for me, I'm happy.
You know, he's, like, this big football player that comes out
and to make such a delicate, small chicken-lettuce cup --
I didn't expect it from him.
I think it's pretty good.
Tiff.
Tiff!
I'm trying to work mine out over here.
Today has been so crazy. [ Chuckles ]
I was so focused on Chris' dish,
and I never had the time to be able to taste and season
the sauce for my ahi tuna.
Oh, I really hate this.
And it probably needed a little bit more soy sauce.
TIFFANY: Hello. How are you?
Terrific. How are you, sweetie?
This is my Spicy Ahi Tuna Tacos.
And I fried them with the won tons,
which I learned today,
which is a little harder than I expected,
but we rocked it.
CHRIS: Very impressive. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you.
Oh, very, very nice.
Creativity-wise, really good.
I mean, making a little taco like that.
I do feel that it was a little bit lacking
in the seasoning flavor,
You know, it's amazing.
People don't realize
what a little bit of salt will do to a dish.
Definitely could use a little salt.
Very labor-intensive. So, very industrious of her.
She came a long way with it.
That was a lot of tuna she worked.
I think the most fun aspect of this entire thing
was that I got served by Tiffany from the '80s.
That was, like, crazy good -- the ahi tuna.
It was excellent. I just needed a little salt.
...A little salt.
♪ Rice, rice, baby ♪
This is gonna be really bland.
I need more of it.
With the addition of a little bit more sauce,
it's gonna be pretty good.
Hello, my friends.
Introducing Volcano Swine.
This is pork that was fried and on a bed of rice.
Enjoy, please.
Good job, Chris.
Good night, everybody.
I did like the pork.
I thought it was, you know --
It was cooked all the way through.
Some of it -- You got a little overdone there.
Yeah, mine was a little overcooked, for me.
It's very saturated in sauce.
There's a lot of sauce in here.
Everything's seasoned. Everything's got good flavor.
I think that the sauce helped bring moisture to it,
because it was fried a little bit too long.
So, I think the sauce actually brought the moisture it needed.
What do you put in a mai tai? [ Chuckles ]
So, I'm mixing the mai tai, but I got to serve it, too.
Six mai tai, bartender.
And then I got this guy just yelling at me for --
I don't know what he's saying.
What?
[ SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY ]
How am I gonna make the drinks if he's yelling?
What?
[ Both talking indistinctly ]
All right, all right.
He's angry.
No good drink.
Oh, thank you very much.
These are called Guy Tais.
RACHAEL: Can you tell us what's in this?
Oh, uh, pineapple, mango,
coconut...
Rum, maybe?
Rum. Asbestos.
[ Sighs ] Mango.
Yeah.
Lots of mango, which is appropriate.
Oh, yeah, the mango. There you go.
It's like a mango smoothie or something.
Well, you can taste that there's
fresh fruit in here, it feels like, you know?
There's, like, really good juices.
A lot of, uh, rum.
Whoo-hoo.
What do you think, soldier?
Probably the best mai tai I've ever had.
[ Chuckles ]
[ Clattering ]
You pushed me over!
So, you have the difficult part now.
You're gonna get to hear some comments
from some of our guests.
And now the decision of who's staying, who's going,
and who's the MVP
all rests on your shoulders.
Do you guys need any help filling those out?
[ Laughs ]
Do you need help filling those out?
And don't forget you loved the egg roll the best.
CHRIS: If you like it, go tell Rachael and Guy.
[ Chuckles ]
Stop laughing, Dad. Stop laughing, Dad.
Hey. Hey, Herschel.
Are you getting scared?
The longer I wait, the more nervous I get.
And I'm like that with a song.
I sit backstage, and I go, "What if I forget the lyrics?"
I don't know. I don't know.
I don't know anymore!
My heart is ding, ding, ding, ding, you know?
I'm a little on edge.
Cross your fingers, guys.
All right, Penn!
VANILLA ICE: Touchdown, baby.
Jerry, you want Herschel back, right?
It's for you, bro.
Hello, there. How you doing?
Oh, geez.
We did awesome. No, they want me to be the cook.
Hold on a minute.
I think you want to talk to Chris.
Shut up!
[ Chuckles ]
It is all about Chris Kattan.
[ Laughs ]
You know, he brings a lot of life to our team.
Live from "Rachael Ray Vs. Guy"...
It's me.
[ Yiddish accent ] Oy vey, what you gonna do?
Welcome back, guys.
Well, thank you very much.
Congratulations. Week 2.
I think this is gonna be a real tough competition.
Unfortunately, I'm not the one making the decision.
Chef Marc Murphy is going to be the one
taking comments from all the guests that were here,
weighing comments from Rachael and I about what we thought,
and is now going to make the decision
of which team wins,
who is going to be the MVP of the team,
and who will be going home.
So, I'm gonna start with Team Guy.
The partygoers thought the best dish...
was Mr. Vanilla.
Really?
I think the thing that you did well
is you brought a lot of flavor into that.
Did you taste the whipped cream that you called it?
Did you taste all of them together?
I put them together so fast.
And just tasted them as I was cooking.
Every component together was a little oversweet.
Okay. Sure.
Herschel, your chicken-lettuce cups
impressed the heck out of us.
And you put your little twist on it, too.
You put some nuts on the top of that.
I loved that. I thought that was so charming.
So, now, the partygoers
also chose their least-favorite dish,
and, Tiffany, unfortunately, it was the ahi tuna.
I have to say that I'm gonna disagree with them.
I thought it was a very creative dish.
The biggest problem I had with the dish
was the lack of seasoning.
You need a little bit of salt to bring that dish together.
Okay, the Chris Volcano Swine.
That was quite a name you came up with.
The pork was a little overfried.
The sauce -- When I got to the bottom of it,
the rice was so saturated with sauce,
Okay.
Okay, now we're gonna talk about the Guy's Tai.
Now, that was everybody's effort here?
Who's claiming responsibility for this?
It's your work.
It is my work.
This is what it's about.
Okay, good.
It was nicely balanced. It wasn't too sweet.
I really -- I enjoyed that.
Okay, Team Rachael.
The guests this evening --
Their favorite dish on Team Rachael was...
Judy, the Unkosher Egg Roll.
I have to say, we liked it, as well.
There were some really great flavors developed in there.
Thank you.
Florence, the Hawaiian Ribs --
I have to say that I really enjoyed that.
I was impressed that they were tender.
RACHAEL: She really did.
Out of both teams, that was actually my favorite.
Unfortunately, the dish they did not like as much was Penn.
Your "Thai Like It --" Oh, "Thai It, You'll Like It."
It's a pun!
[ Laughter ]
I'm a cook. I'm not a poet, all right?
You know, the only feedback -- I would say the balance was off.
There was too much pineapple.
I would have loved a little bit of sear or grill marks.
We originally talked about grilling it.
Jake, the Hawaiian pork in duck sauce --
It felt a little bit overcooked,
but the macadamia-nut crust --
I thought that was very, very creative on your part.
And the partygoers today thought that your cocktail was the best.
Whoo-hoo!
...which was the ginger mai tai.
It's been a very difficult time, sort of deciding
which the winning team was gonna be today,
but I have come to a decision.
And the winning team...
is gonna go to Rachael.
Yay, team!
Yes, yes, yes!
MARC: So, the MVP on your team, Rachael,
and who's gonna be winning $2,500 for their charity...
is Florence.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Thank you. Thank you.
Congratulations,
and can you remind everybody what your charity is?
My charity is the City of Hope.
It's one of the leading hospitals in the world
for treatment of catastrophic illness.
Okay, unfortunately, the person leaving Guy's team...
[ Suspenseful music plays ]
...will be Chris.
No way.
Aw, Chris.
I'm shocked I got eliminated.
I didn't get to win any money for my charity.
I'm not ready to go.
TIFFANY: Bye, Chris.
It was a pleasure to have you, man.
CHRIS: I tried. I tried really hard. But you know what?
I'm not gonna go home and play with a gun.
I'm not gonna watch the "Rachael Ray" incessantly now
and draw on the TV screen funny mustaches.
I came on the show to show my mother that I can cook,
and what I learned,
I think I will get to apply with my mom, you know?
And she would be so proud of me.
You may have better food come your way,
but it won't be as funny.
I'm still funny, and I'll never lose that.
RACHAEL: Next time on "Celebrity Cook-Off"...
Today, you will create an item that is all about you.
I forgot how hard it was to make these.
Oh, my God, what am I doing?!
Chuck it. That's garbage.
Who's buying these three bottles?
It's all in the hips, isn't it?
I feel a bit cheated with your product.
For me, it's all about the taste, the taste, the taste.
I'm afraid that one of you will be going home today.