Larry david

I tolerate lactose like I tolerate people.

I wanted to make a living, but I really was not interested in money at all. I was interested in being a great comedian.

My background is degradation and sloth, mostly.

Most people are completely unaware of their breath. They violate your space, they have no idea that they have halitosis.

I gave a funny speech at my wife's birthday party, and I'm thinking, 'Hey, I've still got it.'

I'm really only happy when I'm on stage. I just feed off the energy of the audience. That's what I'm all about - people and laughter.

I don't have many friends.

I'm a walking, talking enigma. We're a dying breed.

Most of the time I'm thinking, I'm glad that scene was improvised.

The addition of nuts in salad... I always find to be beneficial.