Tim conway

As a kid I was short and only weighed 95 pounds. And though I was active in a lot of Sports and got along with most of the guys, I think I used comedy as a defense mechanism. You know making someone...

Nowadays they have 12 directors and 15 producers and 30 writers. And all the writers want their lines said a certain way-which isn't necessarily funny. I mean the lines aren't necessarily so funny to...

At first I wanted to be a jockey. I rode horses in Cleveland but I kept falling off and I was afraid of horses. So there wasn't much of a future in it.

I have a lot of awards in my house that I have absolutely no idea what they are for.

You can't TV surf without coming across an Andy of Mayberry episode where you've just got to watch Don as Barney. That's why I put Don in several of my movies.

If I wouldn't offend my religion or God, why would I want to offend an audience because in effect those people are being watched over by the same person.

When you're small, you either are funny, or you get beat up a lot.

Don Knotts was a really big influence, especially on the Steve Allen show. I mean, look at the guy, his entire life is in his face.

People enjoy sitting back knowing they won't hear a lot of four-letter words.

I've known Harvey for over 40 years and I worked with him on the Burnett show for 11 years. I guess you could say we're about as close as you can get to being a comedy team.