Noel coward

Success took me to her bosom like a maternal boa constrictor.

Someday I suspect, when Jesus has definitely got me for a sunbeam, my works may be adequately assessed.

I have always paid income tax. I object only when it reaches a stage when I am threatened with having nothing left for my old age - which is due to start next Tuesday or Wednesday.

I don't believe in astrology. The only stars I can blame for my failures are those that walk about the stage.

I'll go through life either first class or third, but never in second.

I've sometimes thought of marrying - and then I've thought again.

My body has certainly wandered a good deal, but I have an uneasy suspicion that my mind has not wandered enough.

There's always something fishy about the French.

It's discouraging to think how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit.

I'm not a heavy drinker, I can sometimes go for hours without touching a drop.