Henny youngman
My brother was a lifeguard in a car wash.
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My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
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A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.
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You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.
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Those two are a fastidious couple. She's fast and he's hideous.
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That was the first time I saw a horse start from a kneeling position!
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Why don't Jews drink? It interferes with their suffering.
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What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money.
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If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.
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You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready.
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