George carlin

If we could just find out who's in charge, we could kill him.

There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.

What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?

The status quo sucks.

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories.

I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven't tried that for a while. Maybe this time it'll work.

Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already been established.

One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.