Brian clough

The river Trent is lovely, I know because I have walked on it for 18 years.

I like my women to be feminine, not sliding into tackles and covered in mud.

Telling the entire world and his dog how good a manager I was. I knew I was the best but I should have said nowt and kept the pressure off 'cos they'd have worked it out for themselves.

I've decided to pick my moment to retire very carefully - in about 200 years time.

We used to go to the pictures every Saturday night but we had to leave a little bit early and get home and watch Match of the Day - and my wife still complains she missed the last five minutes of...

Walk on water? I know most people out there will be saying that instead of walking on it, I should have taken more of it with my drinks. They are absolutely right.

Who the hell wants fourteen pairs of shoes when they go on holiday? I haven't had fourteen pairs in my life.

On occasions I have been big-headed. I think most people are when they get in the limelight. I call myself Big Head just to remind myself not to be.

Beckham? His wife can't sing and his barber can't cut hair.

If a chairman sacks the manager he initially appointed, he should go as well.