Allan carr

If you go on stage with the wrong attitude, or something in your performance is off, you can lose an audience in the first minute. That first minute is crucial.

I'd love to do acting, but it'd definitely have to be comedy. I can't do serious. It's completely beyond me.

I still get excited about meeting celebrities, because I don't think I'm a celebrity myself.

I like old people falling over, that's what makes me laugh.

I was at college doing performing arts, and just spending all my time mucking about, and the lecturers thought I would be pretty good at stand-up, so I gave it a whirl.

I haven't really got much get up and go. I can't believe I'm on the telly. I'm so lazy.

I went to Montreal. My first gig went very badly. They just weren't laughing at anything. I found out they were a load of Christians, and it was a gig to raise money for a new church roof.

I've met Nicole Kidman, Elton John, loads of people.

It's Charley's Aunt and The Odd Couple rolled into one.

I think over there in Montreal they're a bit hardcore with the old homos. They're not that keen on them.