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So that's, you know,
coming along.
I'm working with a vocal coach.
Strengthening the... ah.
Lot of guys ignore the laugh and
that's about standards. If you want to
get into the Evil League of Evil,
you have to have a memorable laugh.
What? Did you think Bad Horse
didn't work on his whinny?
His terrible death whinny.
No response BTW from
the League yet.
But my application
is strong this year.
A letter of condemnation
from the deputy mayor.
That's gotta have
some weight so...
Fingers crossed!
E-mails!
2sly4U writes "hey, genius!"
Wow!
Sarcasm, that's original!
"Where are the gold bars you
were supposed to pull out
of that bank vault with
your transmatter ray?"
"Obviously it failed or it
would be in the papers."
Well, no, they're not gonna say
anything in the press but...
Behold!
Transported from
there to here!
The molecules tend to
shift during the...
transmatter... uh... event.
But they were
transported in bar form.
And they clearly were...
And by the way it's
not about making money,
it's about taking money.
Destroying the status quo
because the status is not quo.
The world is a
mess and I just...
need to rule it.
I'm gonna...
Smells like cumin.
So transmatter is 75%.
And more importantly the
freeze ray is almost up.
This is the one.
Stops time.
Freeze ray. Tell your friends.
We have... Oh, here's one from
our good friend Johnny Snow.
"Dr. Horrible, I see you are once again
afraid to do battle with your nemesis.
I waited at Duly Park for
45 minutes." Okay, dude.
You're not my nemesis.
My nemesis is Captain Hammer.
Captain Hammer corporate tool.
He dislocated my shoulder.
Again. Last week.
Look, I'm just trying to
change the world, okay?
I don't have time for a grudge
match with every poser in a parka.
Besides, there's kids
in that park so...
Here's one
from dead-not-sleeping.
Long time watcher, first time writing.
Blah blah blah blah.
"You always say in your blog
that you will show her the way,
show her you're a true villain.
Who is her?
And does she even
know that you're...
Laundry day... See you there.
Underthings... tumbling.
Wanna say... "Love your hair"
Here I go... mumbling.
With my freeze
ray I will stop...
the world.
With my freeze ray I will find
the time to find the words to...
tell you how...
how you make... make me feel...
what's the phrase?
Like a fool.
Kinda sick.
Special needs.
Anyways... with my freeze
ray I will stop...
the pain.
It's not a death ray or an ice beam
that's all Johnny Snow.
I just think
you need time to know
that I'm the guy
to make it real.
The feelings you
don't dare to feel.
I'll bend the
world to our will.
And we'll make
time stand still.
That's the plan.
Rule the world.
You and me. Any day.
- Love your hair.
- What?
No I, I, I love the... air.
Anyway, with my freeze
ray I will stop...
- Hey, doc.
- Moist, my evil...
moisture... buddy.
What's going on?
Life of crime. Got your mail.
Hey, didn't you go on
a date last night?
Conflict Diamond told me you were
doubling with Bait And Switch.
Yeah.
Yeah?
It was alright. I kinda thought I was
supposed to end up with Bait but...
I hear you.
I saw Penny today.
You talked to her?
So close.
Just a few weeks away from a
real audible connection.
I'm gonna ask...
Oh my God!
Is that from the League?
It's from him,
that's his seal, isn't it?
The leader? Oh my God!
I got a letter from Bad Horse!
That's so hardcore.
Bad Horse is legend,
he rules the League with an iron hoof.
Are you sure you want...
Bad Horse! Bad Horse!
Bad Horse! Bad Horse!
He rides across the nation
the thoroughbred of sin.
He got the application
that you just sent in.
It needs evaluation so
let the games begin.
A heinous crime,
a show of force,
a *** would be
nice of course.
Bad Horse! Bad Horse!
Bad Horse! He's bad!
The Evil League of Evil
is watching so beware!
The grade that you receive
will be your last we swear.
So make the Bad Horse gleeful
or he'll make you his mare.
You're saddled up,
there's no recourse.
It's hi-ho silver,
signed: Bad Horse.
- I don't know.
- Are you kidding?
This is great!
I'm about to pull
a major heist!
You know, the Wonderflonium that
l need for the freeze ray?
It's being
transported tomorrow!
Armored car?
Courier van. Candy from a baby.
Do you need anything
dampened or made soggy?
Thanks but...
the League is watching.
I gotta do this alone.
Will you lend a caring hand
to shelter those who need it?
You only have to
sign your name.
Don't even have to read it.
Would you help...
No? How about you?
- Will you lend a caring hand...
- Ah!
What?
I was wondering if
l could just...
Hey!
I know you.
Hello. You know me. Cool!
I mean...
yeah, you do. Do you?
From the laundromat.
Wednesdays and Saturdays except twice
last month you skipped a weekend.
Or... if that was you.
Could have been someone else.
I mean, I've seen you.
Billy is my name.
I'm Penny.
What are you doing?
Umm... texting.
It's very important
or I would stop.
What are you doing?
Actually, I'm out here volunteering
for the Caring Hands homeless shelter.
Can you spare a minute?
Umm...
Okay, go.
Ok. We're hoping to open a new
location soon. Expand our efforts.
There's this great
building nearby
that the city is just gonna demolish
and turn into a parking lot.
- But if we get enough signatures...
- Signatures?
Yeah.
I'm sorry. Go on.
I was saying...
Maybe we could get the city to
donate the building to our cause.
We would be able to
pry 250 new beds,
get people off the streets and
into job training so they could
buy rocket packs and go to
the moon and become florists.
You're not really interested
in the homeless, are you?
No, I am.
But they're a symptom.
You're treating a symptom
and the disease rages on,
consumes the human race.
The fish rots from the head as they say.
So my thinking is why
not cut off the head.
Of the human race?
It's not a perfect metaphor
but I'm talking about an
overhaul of the system.
Putting the power
in different hands.
I'm all for that!
- This petition is about the building.
- I'd love to sign it.
Thank you!
Sorry, I come on strong.
But you signed!
I don't wanna turn my back on
a fellow laundering person.
Well, if we can't stick together,
l don't...
I'll probably see you there.
No, I will. I'll...
She talked to me.
Why did she talk to me now?
Maybe I should...
A man's gotta do what
a man's gotta do.
Don't plan the plan if
you can't follow through.
All that matters is taking
matters into your own hands.
Soon I'll control everything.
Hey! Hey!
My wish is your command!
Stand back everyone!
Nothing here to see!
Just imminent danger,
in the middle of it - me!
Yes, Captain Hammer's here!
Hair blowing in the breeze!
The day needs my
saving expertise!
A man's gotta do what
a man's gotta do.
Seems destiny ends
with me saving you.
The only doom that's glooming
is you loving me to death.
I'll give you a second
to catch your breath.
You idiot!
Dr. Horrible, I should have
known you were behind this!
- You almost killed her!
- I remember it differently.
If she...
It's curtains for you,
Dr. Horrible.
Lacey gently wafting curtains.
Thank you, Hammer man,
l don't think I can
explain how important it was
that you stopped the van.
I would be splattered,
I'd be crushed under debris.
Thank you, sir, for saving me!
Don't worry about it!
A man's gotta do what
a man's gotta do.
- You came from above.
- Are you kidding?
- Seems destiny
- ...ends with me saving you
- What heist were you watching?
- I wonder what you're captain of.
- Stop looking at her like that.
- When you're the best
- ...you can't rest, what's the use?
- Did you notice that he threw you in the garbage?
- My heart is beating
- ...like a drum.
- There's *** needs kicking, some ticking
- ...bomb to diffuse.
- I stopped the van!
- The remote control was in my hand!
- Must be in shock
- The only doom
- ...that’s glooming is you
- Assuming I’m not
- ...loving me to death
- ...loving you to death
- Whatever!
So please give me a second
to catch my breath.
Balls!Any dolt with half a brain
can see the human
kind has gone insane
to the point where I don't know
if I'll upset the status quo
if I throw poison
in the water main.
Listen close to
everybody's heart
and hear that breaking sound.
Hopes and dreams
are shattering apart
and crashing to the ground.
I cannot believe my eyes
how the world's filled
with filth and lies.
But it's plain to see
evil inside of me...
is on the rise.
Look around
we're living with
the lost and found.
Just when you feel
you've almost drowned,
you find yourself
on solid ground.
And you believe there's
good in everybody's heart.
Keep it safe and sound.
With hope you can do your part
to turn a life around.
I can not believe my eyes.
Is the world finally
growing wise?
'Cause it seems to me
some kind of harmony
is on the rise.
- Make it slow.
- Anyone with half a brain
- He looks at me and seems to know
-... could spend their whole life howling in pain
-... the things that I'm afraid to show
- It's a darkness everywhere and Penny doesn’t seem
-... and suddenly I feel this glow.
-... to care that soon the dark in me is all that will remain
- And I believe there's good in everybody's heart.
- Listen close to everybody’s heart
- and keep it safe and sound.
- and hear that breaking sound.
- With hope you can do your part
- Hopes and dreams are shattering apart
-... to turn a life around.
-... and crashing to the ground.
- I can not believe my eyes
- I can not believe my eyes
- how the world finally growing wise
- how the world’s filled with filth and lies
- But it's plain to see
- And it's plain to see
- evil inside of me
- rapture inside of me
- is on the rise.
- is on the rise.
It is so dumb that we're been coming
here so long and never spoke.
I know, all those months doing
this stunningly boring chore.
I'm a fan of laundering.
Psych! I love it!
To smell the fabric softener...
the warm clothes
in your hands...
So good!
Hey, this is weird.
I ordered one frozen yogurt
and they gave me two.
You don't happen to like frozen yogurt,
do you?
I love it!
You're kidding!
What a crazy random happenstance.
- Here.
- Thank you.
So how was your weekend?
Did you spend the whole time
hunting wild signatures?
Umm.. actually, I went on a date.
Get right out of town.
How was that?
Unexpected.
He's a really
good-looking guy and
I thought he was
kinda cheesy at first.
Trust your instincts.
But he turned out to
be totally sweet.
Sometimes people are
layered like that.
There's something totally
different underneath
than what's on the surface.
And sometimes there's
a third, even deeper level
and that one is the same
as the top surface one.
- Huh?
- Like with pie.
So are you gonna
see him again?
I think I will.
- Billy?
- Yeah.
You're driving this
fork into your leg.
So I am. Hilarious!
Alright, the wait is over.
This, my friends,
is my freeze ray
which with the addition of
the Wonderflonium I obtained
at my famously successful
heist last week.
I say successful in that
l achieved my objective.
It was less successful in that
I inadvertently introduced my
archnemesis to the girl of my dreams.
And now he's taking
her out on dates
and they're probably going
to french kiss or something.
She called him "sweet".
How is he sweet?
Right! Freeze ray!
So, as of tonight,
l am in the Evil League of Evil
if all goes according to plan,
which it will,
because I hold a PhD
in horribleness.
See you at the aftermath.
Peace!
But not literally.
...uhh... freeze
ray needs work.
I also need to be a little bit more
careful about what I say on this blog.
Apparently the LAPD and Captain
Hammer are among our viewers.
They were waiting for me
at the Mayor's dedication
of the Superhero
Memorial Bridge.
The freeze ray takes a few
seconds to warm up and I wasn't...
Captain Hammer threw
a car at my head.
Not to worry though,
because I'm...
One sec.
He saw the operation
you tried to pull today.
But your humiliation means
he still votes nay.
And now assassination
is just the only way.
There will be blood,
it might be yours
so go kill someone.
signed - Bad Horse.
Kill someone?
Would you do it?
To get into the Evil
League of Evil?
Look at me, man! I'm Moist!
At my most badass, I make people feel
like they want to take a shower.
I'm not ELE material.
Killing is not elegant or creative,
it's not my style.
You got more than enough evil hours
to get into the henchman's union.
I'm not a henchman.
I'm Dr. Horrible.
I've got a PhD in horribleness.
Is that the new catchphrase?
I deserve to get in.
You know I do.
But killing? Really?
Hourglass says she knows a kid in Iowa
who grows up to become president.
That'd be big.
I'm not gonna kill
a little kid.
- Smother an old lady?
- Do I even know you?
I just, you know,
really think I'm...
qualified for this job.
And... I just can't get
my foot in the door.
I'm sure you will.
I wanna do great things,
you know.
I wanna be an achiever
like Bad Horse.
The thoroughbred of sin?
I meant Ghandi.
Well, I've gotten turned
down from plenty of jobs.
Even fired a few times.
I can't imagine
anybody firing you.
Neither could I.
Now I can visualize
it really well.
- But you know everything happens...
- Don't say for a reason.
No, I'm just saying that...
everything happens.
Not to me.
Here's the story of a girl
who grew up lost and lonely.
Thinking love was fairy tale
and trouble was
made only for me.
Even in the darkness
every color can be found.
And every day your
rain brings water
flowing to things
growing in the ground.
Grief replaced with pity
for a city barely coping.
Dreams are easy to achieve
if hope is all
I'm hoping to be.
Anytime you're hurt there's
one who has it worse around.
And every drop of rain
will keep you growing
seeds you're sowing
in the ground.
So keep your head
up Billy buddy.
It's like Captain Hammer
is always saying.
Right!
How are things with
Cheesy on the outside?
Good. They're good.
He's nice.
I'll be interested to know
what you think of him.
He said he might stop by.
- Stop by here?
- Yeah.
Oh, goodness!
Look at my wrist! I gotta go!
But... but what about your clothes?
I don't want these. See you!
- Oh, pardon.
- Pardon!
Billy, this is Captain Hammer.
Oh, Billy, the laundry buddy.
It's very nice to meet you.
We're meeting now
for the first time.
You look horribly familiar.
One of those faces I guess.
Have I seen you at the gym?
At the gym, yeah.
I don't go to the gym,
I'm just naturally like this.
Oh, well.
Who wants to know what the Mayor
is doing behind closed doors?
He is signing over a certain
building to a Caring Hands group
as a new homeless shelter.
- Oh my God!
- Yep!
Apparently the only
signature he needed
was my fist.
But with a pen in it.
That I was signing with.
I can't believe it.
- Congratulations.
- Thank you! Thank you!
Oh!
Well, this is great.
I wish I could stay and chitchat.
It sure was nice to meet you...
Doctor.
You've got a little crush,
don't you doc?
Well, that's gonna make
this hard to hear.
See, later I'm gonna take
little Penny back to my place.
Show her the command center.
The Hammer-cycle.
Maybe even the Ham-jet.
You think she likes me now?
I'm gonna give Penny
the night of her life.
Just because you want her.
And I get
what you want.
See, Penny's giving it up.
She's giving it up hard.
'Cause she's with
Captain Hammer.
And these...
are not the hammer.
The hammer is my ***.
This appeared as a moral dilemma
'cause at first it was weird
though I swore to eliminate the worst
of the plague that devoured humanity
it's true I was vague on the how
so how can it be that you
have shown me the light.
It's a brand new day
and the sun is high.
All the birds are singing
that you're gonna die.
How I hesitated
now I wonder why.
It's a brand new day.
All the time that you beat
me unconscious I forgive.
All the crimes incomplete,
listen, honestly I'll live.
Mr. Cool. Mr. Right.
Mr. Know-it-all is through.
Now the future's so bright
and I owe it all to you.
have shown me the light.
It's a brand new me.
I got no remorse.
Now the water's rising
but I know the course.
I'm gonna shock the world,
gonna show Bad Horse.
It's a brand new day.
And Penny will see the evil me.
Not a joke, not a dork,
not a failure.
And she may cry but
her tears will dry
when I hand her the keys
to a shiny new Australia.
It's a brand new day.
Yeah, the sun is high.
All the angels sing
because you're gonna die.
Go ahead and laugh.
Yeah, I'm a funny guy.
Tell everyone goodbye!
It's a brand new day.